Chapter 4
Clay
I walk into my office at On Pointe and almost immediately turn around and walk back out. Even after my talk with Max this morning, my nerves are still on edge and seeing mountains of paperwork isn’t helping. I rub my temples to try to ease the buzzing edginess in my brain. There are too many things on my plate right now, and I can’t focus.
“Hey, you okay?” I hear Beck’s voice behind me.
“Not really. I’m a bit overwhelmed. I have too much to do and no idea when I’ll make time to get it all done.”
“All right.” Beck’s places his hand right between my shoulder blades and starts to rub in concentric circles. “What all do you need to get done?”
“That stack of paperwork.” I point at the pile.
“Okay and what else?” Beck asks soothingly.
“That’s it,” I admit sheepishly, my heart rabbiting faster now as I realize how stupid I sound.
“Why don’t we do our morning yoga? If you’re still feeling overwhelmed after that, I’ll look through this paperwork and see what I can help with.”
I nod and grab my yoga mat from its spot beside my desk before giving Beck a grateful smile.
Beck waves me toward the studio and then heads to the changing room to grab his yoga mat.
I take a moment to take a few breaths and try to get my head on straight.
I roll out my mat and start some stretches to open my chest and help me breathe more easily. By the time Beck saunters back in with his yoga mat, I’m feeling a little more myself.
“Guess who has a date tonight,” I brag as Beck stretches into downward dog.
“Hmmm, that’s a tough one,” Beck mocks.
“Shut up you sarcastic twat,” I fire back with a laugh.
“Is this one even halfway worthy of you, love?”
“Time will tell. We’ve been chatting for a few days, and he seems cool, so I’m crossing my fingers because I need to get laid so badly.”
“You could always ask Max,” Beck suggests, waggling his eyebrows at me.
I huff in frustration at my irritating best friend.
“I told you that you need to drop that. He’s straight; I don’t understand what you don’t get about that.”
“I don’t happen to agree that he’s straight,” Beck replies with a shrug. “If you ask me, he’s at least a little crooked.” Beck winks at me, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Ah, a boy can dream.” I sigh, remembering the weight of Max pinning me down last night, his erection pressing against me. I suppress a shiver. That’s nothing but fruitless pining. I’ll never have Max, so I need to move on and find a man willing to give me what I need.
Our conversation tapers off as we continue our morning yoga routine. I inhale deeply, letting all my stress and anxiety float away for a few short minutes.
My humiliation over my confession to Max this morning is still niggling at the back of my mind as I work to center my thoughts, focusing only on the movements of my body. I’m glad he was so cool about it, but that was embarrassing as fuck. And when he said he trusts me not to perv on him, I could’ve melted into a puddle of shame right there in front of him.
“How are you feeling now?” Beck asks once we’re finished and rolling up our mats.
“Meh.” I shrug. “I’ll be okay.”
“If there’s anything I can do to help, you let me know.”
I nod and then retreat to my office again as Beck’s class arrives.
My chest still tightens as I look over the never-ending to-do list on my desk. For the love of god, I hope this date works out tonight because I would kill for the physical and mental release that’s been just out of my reach for too long. Everything feels like it’s piling up, and if I don’t find an outlet, I’m going to start bursting at the seams.
Max
The bike I had to fix today turned out to be a bit of a challenge, which I more than welcomed. And by the end of the day, it was running like a dream again.
“I can’t thank you enough for fixing it for me. I’m assuming the Triumph out front is yours?” Lynn asks when she picks up her bike in the afternoon.
“She is,” I confirm.
“Maybe we could go for a ride together sometime, grab a drink afterward?” she suggests, giving me a smile that’s equal parts vixen and girl next door.
I wait for a flare of heat or excitement but come up empty. Even when Lynn bends forward a few inches to flash me a quick peek at her cleavage, nothing stirs in me.
This isn’t the first time recently that a beautiful woman has failed to trip my trigger. Maybe it’s because it feels so empty? I’m getting tired of just hooking up with strangers. I’d love to connect with someone, to have a relationship. God knows it’s been years since I’ve had the time or energy to give to another person in that way. But, now it feels like time. I’m not a kid anymore; maybe it’s time to stop fucking around and get serious about someone.
Lynn jots down her number and passes it across the desk to me.
So, why don’t I feel like getting to know her more? She could be a relationship girl, couldn’t she? But still, nothing happens.
“Thanks, but I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I have a lot of baggage, you know?” Yes, I’m the douchebag, using my kid as an excuse to let someone down gently.
“Well, if you change your mind.”
I nod and put her phone number into my pocket to throw away later when she’s not around. Nothing against Lynn, I’m sure she’s a sweet girl.
Once she’s gone, I get back to work on another car I have waiting, and I do my best to drown out my brothers and get lost in my work.
“Hey bro, your baby mama is here,” Gio calls over the whir of my tools.
“Very funny,” I call back in a bland tone. I don’t know why they both think that’s such a funny joke, all fuckin’ day long with your baby mama is here or that chick from last weekend just walked in.
“I’m serious, dude.”
I grumble and step around the car to look. I swear I’ll strangle him if he’s having a laugh at me.
Sure enough, Jess is standing in the lobby, looking put out. She always looks put together, with her red hair styled nicely and her make-up perfect. But today, she looks frazzled somehow.
My gut clenches as I hurry to wipe my hands off and then rush to the front of the shop to see what brought Jess by unexpectedly.
“Is everything okay?” I ask as soon as near her.
“Gigi is fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I needed to talk to you, and I didn’t want to wait. Can you spare a few minutes?”
“Uh, yeah. You want to grab some lunch down the street?”
Jess nods, and I grab the keys to the shop truck that we use when someone needs a ride somewhere while we work on their car. I don’t have to ask where she wants to eat; there’s only one place near here that has anything she likes. That was one of the things that irritated the shit out of me when we were dating: how damn picky she was about everything. But we’re not dating now, so it’s convenient to know without asking where she’ll want to go.
We arrive at the trendy little café, and I realize I’m still in my greasy overalls. I step out of the truck and strip my overalls off, leaving me in my street clothes, and toss them in the bed of the truck.
Jess takes in my plain gray t-shirt and worn, holey jeans, and her nose wrinkles. I smirk at her reaction, another one of those things that bugged the hell out of me when we dated, but I couldn’t care less about now. I am who I am; she didn’t like it and that’s okay.
I open the door for her and pull out her chair when we’re seated, which seems to appease her after my grungy appearance.
We order and as soon as our waiter is gone, I look at Jess expectantly.
“So, what’s so urgent?” I ask.
“I’ve been seeing someone.”
I pause in mid-reach for my glass of water, and I study her expression. That wasn’t what I expected her to say, and I can’t figure out why she felt she had to rush over to the garage to tell me she has a new boyfriend. Unless she’s trying to make me jealous? But that doesn’t fit. We’ve been broken up for years, and after her initial shit fit over it she seemed to agree that we weren’t a good match.
“Good for you?” I guess at a response.
“He’s a great guy,” she continues. “He’s got an MBA, and he’s going to be taking over his father’s successful business.”
I narrow my eyes. Why is she trying so hard to sell me on this guy?
“Okay.”
“He asked me to marry him,” she blurts, and everything starts to become a little clearer.
“Oh, that’s great.” I relax a little. She wants my blessing on a stepfather for Gigi; that makes sense. “I’d love to meet him, if that’s okay?”
“Here’s the thing, Max.” Jess takes a long drink of water then taps her long nails along the glass. “We’re moving to New York.”
“What?”
“His father’s business is expanding and they’re opening a new office in New York. It makes sense for him to put Mark in charge out there. So, we’re moving to New York...and I’m taking Gigi.”
“The hell you are,” I roar, slamming my fist down on the table hard enough to rattle our silverware and nearly spill both glasses of water.
Jess glances around and offers apologetic smiles to the people who have suddenly gone quiet and turned their attention in our direction.
“Calm down, Max,” Jess hisses.
“I will not calm down.” Although, I do make an effort to keep my voice down because shouting isn’t going to solve anything. “Over my dead body are you taking my kid from me. I have joint custody, Jess. Like it or not, I have rights and you can’t just take Gigi across the damn country.”
“If you care about Gigi, you’ll see this is the best thing for her. Mark makes enough money that I’ll be able to give her a different life. I can enroll her in private school and buy her all the nicest things. Don’t you understand that this is what’s best for her?”
“What’s best for Gigi is to be with her father. I’m going to fight you on this Jess, you can bet on that. I won last time.”
“And this time I can afford a much better lawyer,” Jess challenges.
Rage burns in my chest, so white hot it threatens to explode. My hands are shaking, and my muscles are tight as I get up from the table and storm out of the restaurant without a backward glance.
I climb into the cab of my truck and slam my fists against the steering wheel, my chest heaving with the effort not to fall apart.
With unsteady hands, I pick up my phone and dial Beck.
“Max, what’s up?” Beck answers after a few rings.
“Jess is trying to take Gigi from me, again. I need you to help me, please, I can’t lose her.” My voice cracks as tears threaten to spill over.
“Okay, take a deep breath. I’m not going to let Jess take Gigi. Why don’t we meet this afternoon, and you can tell me exactly what’s going on, okay?”
“I still have Gigi tonight. Can we meet to talk about it tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, that works. Don’t stress; we’ll figure this out.”
“Yeah. Thank you so much.” I breathe a little easier knowing that Beck will do everything in his power to make sure I get to keep Gigi with me.
But what if it’s out of his power? A little voice in the back of my mind nags. What if we have to have one of those bullshit custody agreements where I only get to see Gigi for a month in the summer?
I’m still trembling when I get back to work. Gio and Tony both eye me with concern but are smart enough to keep their distance and not ask too many questions.