Dr. Lain Brousseau
“Of course, Supreme Leader Aloitus, in three revolutions. I understand.”
Zerk’k hung up the phone and glowered at the floor.
“What’s the matter, Commander?” Trillis asked. I was burning with curiosity, but I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t engage in any conversation with Zerk’k.
Although there were times I couldn’t resist my feelings for him, it didn’t mean that we had to be friends.
“Aloitus has decided that there aren’t enough humans…he wants me to lead another mission to Earth. We’ll be leaving soon.”
“Oh, Commander, I’m sorry,” Trillis said, touching his shoulder.
Why would she be sorry?
“It’s all right. But Aloitus wouldn’t be recommending this if he was the one trying to organize the camps. It’s a madhouse there. We’ve even had a few casualties.”
“Casualties?!” Trillis exclaimed.
“I’m just grateful to the gods that Lain is safe,” Zerk’k said. The casual way in which he said it spread warmth through my chest. Why was this man growing on me? “I have no choice but to return to space.”
Trillis shook her head and walked into the dining room.
“Food is ready,” she called.
I walked behind Zerk’k and sat down to the meal. They had gotten predictable and comfortable, and I had grown to enjoy Zerk’k’s banter with Trillis over the weeks that I had been there. I had been keeping track of the days in my journal. It was coming upon about two and a half months of captivity.
I wanted so badly to like Zerk’k as much as my body did. And in truth, maybe if he hadn’t kidnapped me from my home, I would have begun to develop real feelings for him. I’d never met a more protective, considerate man before, on Earth or otherwise. Even in bed, he always put my pleasure before his. His generosity seemed to know no bounds.
And yet there was something keeping me from getting too close to him. The fact that he had taken me from Earth, away from my career…
Before I could let anybody into my heart, I had to know that I was free. I wasn’t a captive.
“I’m going to bed,” I said, as I had every night after our fifth meal. Zerk’k nodded absently. He was still busy talking to Trillis about the upcoming mission to Earth.
News of the mission had gotten my mind working. I had accumulated a lot of information that would prove invaluable to Project Orion. My teammates would be beside themselves with joy to know about my experiences. That, or they would think I was making it up for attention.
Rage burned in my breast. Working on Earth was hard. Even when all I wanted to do was benefit humankind, people with fragile egos were always trying to claw up the ladder and find a way to cheapen my work. Other humans didn’t have the same courteous manner toward me as the Thressl’n had. Unlike the men on Earth, Zerk’k took me seriously. Maybe too seriously at times. And every once in a while he would make me shudder when we were making love by whispering into my ear, “You are mine.”
In the heat of the moment, I relished in it. I felt like it was true. But in my mind, I belonged nowhere but Earth. And now, I had a way.
The door to the bedroom hissed closed behind me, and I made a beeline for the closet. The safety training Zerk’k had given me had been very informative, and I was now confident that I’d be able to handle myself using the smaller of his blasters. I felt bad using the knowledge he had so caringly bestowed upon me to plan my escape, but if he hadn’t kidnapped me in the first place, I wouldn’t need to escape, right?
I jumped when I heard Zerk’k’s heavy footfalls outside the doorway, and ran out of the closet as quickly as I could. It usually took him longer during meals than it took me, so I hadn’t been expecting him to return to the bedroom so soon.
To my surprise, he barely registered me coming out of the closet and sat down on the bed heavily. Zerk’k put his head in his hands and sighed loudly. It was rare that he showed his emotions so openly.
“What’s the matter?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. Something about his vulnerability stirred something in me. I didn’t want to see him hurt.
Zerk’k looked up and smiled at me tiredly.
“Do you want to know a secret?” he said, his handsome face creased with worry.
“I guess so,” I said, sitting down beside him.
“I really, really hate flying.”
“What?” I laughed quietly in disbelief. “You hate flying?”
“Nobody knows just how much. There’s nothing more desolate and lonely than flying through space in those small vessels. It’s just so…I despise it.”
I was waiting for the punchline. A capable, masculine person like Zerk’k was afraid to fly? A bright smile broke out on his handsome face, and I was trapped in the magic of his gaze.
“I guess it must sound ridiculous,” he said.
I looked down at the bed, unable to repress the compassion I felt for him.
“No,” I said, taking his hand and squeezing it. “We all have things we don’t like.”
“What don’t you like?” Zerk’k asked, his deep purple eyes boring into mine. Why did he care so much about me? What had I done to deserve that kind of devotion from someone like this?
“I…don’t like being told what to do,” I said carefully. “I don’t like having my freedom taken away. Love means nothing without freedom.”
“Love…” Zerk’k said quietly.
My cheeks grew hot. I was surprised by how easily I had said it. Did Zerk’k know what love was? What was the point in talking about it with him? I couldn’t let myself feel it. Not for him. Not now.
“Never mind,” I sighed.
“I understand,” Zerk’k said, standing abruptly. His hand was torn from mine, and I felt suddenly very alone as he stalked out the doorway. I was used to him coming in and out on a whim, but lately, it had begun to feel like a piece of myself was leaving with him. Why was this so complicated? Especially now that I finally had a chance to leave.
***
“Goodbye, Lain,” Zerk’k said. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead that nearly brought tears to my eyes. Was this how it felt to betray someone who trusted you?
“Goodbye,” I said.
Zerk’k left out the door. He had to leave early that morning; the ships were destined to take off in just a few hours.
As soon as he was out the door, I ran to the bedroom and grabbed the bundle I had been preparing all week. Inside, I had my journal, a change of clothes, and food I had pilfered from several meals with Zerk’k and Trillis. I had been haunted all night thinking about how it was the last time I would eat with them and sleep in Zerk’k’s bed. He had wanted to make love, but I just felt too guilty.
Trillis had returned to her apartment, and I was left alone. I stuffed the weapon into the strap wrapped around my waist and proceeded to sneak out the front door. It was impossible to miss the area of the desolate red desert where the three ships were preparing for launch, and I jumped into Trillis’ hovercraft. I was relieved when it started up right away, thankfully my scientific mind was sharp enough to remember what it took to get the machines started.
My heart thudded painfully in my chest as I headed toward the airfield. It took me about twenty minutes to get there, and I landed about half a mile away. I crept out of the ship and walked on foot as crew members busily came in and out checking fluids and packing the ships with food.
I stayed hidden in the shadows, waiting for my chance to make a move. Finally, a large crate was left open as the Thressl’n workers took a meal break. I was able to climb inside and hide. Before long, I felt the crate being hoisted into the air. It was set down heavily who knows where in the ship. All I had to do now was wait.
***
The launch into space was terrifying, but I soon grew used to the feeling of the ship. I could see why Zerk’k hated it so much though, and was nearly brought to tears imagining how he must be feeling.
My communications transplant had gathered enough to understand everything the Thressl’n said, so I was nauseated by anticipation when the ship began to quake and a deep voice over the speakers announced, “Now arriving on Earth.”
It was quiet for a few moments as I thought about everything I was giving up by returning back to Earth. Long, steamy nights with a gorgeous man who was utterly devoted to me, only to return to a career where nothing I did was given enough credit.
Sure, I got an award and a promotion, but we were working under the Vellreq. Zerk’k told me they were partly to blame for the terrible fate of Earth. The worst part was that at this point, I fully believed him. Did I really want to go back?
Suddenly, from deep inside the box, I heard a voice that electrified my whole body. It was Zerk’k.
“No, don’t send anybody out,” he was saying to the tinny voice on his communications device. “We have enough women on Jenal’k. We’ve done this irresponsibly. If the women of Earth want saved, they should choose their saviors.”
The room fell quiet again, and I could hear Zerk’k’s densely muscled body sit heavily onto the bed. He sighed, a vulnerable, sad sound that made me ache for him.
Carefully, I climbed out of the box and realized that I was inside the dark closet of Zerk’k’s bedroom on the ship; the same place I had first laid eyes on the mysterious man. Since that day, he hadn’t left my thoughts from the moment I began this bizarre adventure.
“Lain!” Zerk’k gasped when I stepped outside the closet. “What are you doing here?”
I sat down beside him and handed him the gun I had strapped to my waist. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I had planned to betray him.
“You were going home whether I liked it or not,” Zerk’k said, his handsome face lighting up in amusement. “Why did you come out? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
I looked deeply into his beautiful purple eyes and took his strong hands in mine.
“I was kidding myself,” I whispered. “There’s nothing for me on Earth.”
“I thought so too,” I said. I hadn’t known just how much it would hurt me to be away from him. The thought of spending the rest of my life without being in his arms again had been devastating. “But the truth is, you’ve given me something the men on Earth never could. And I want to keep that.”
Zerk’k’s face lit up as if he had been given the greatest gift in the universe.
“You mean you want to stay with me?” he whispered, his dark eyes intent as he stared into mine.
I glanced out the window of the ship, at the dirty, bustling city below us. I had no family or friends to go back to. All I had was a career trying to unravel mysteries that I could easily uncover myself by Zerk’k’s side.
“Yes,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes. “But on one condition.”
Zerk’k tilted his head inquisitively. “What is it?”
“Take me everywhere with you,” I said, smiling up at him. “I’ll keep you company, and learn everything I’ve ever wanted to know.”
Zerk’k beamed, taking me into his strong arms. My breath left my body as his soft lips pressed passionately against mine.
“As you wish,” he said, his dark eyes flashing sensually.
This time, I didn’t try to hold back my true feelings as Zerk’k lifted me up. I laughed, feeling the tension in my shoulders melt away now that I had made peace with what I truly wanted. Zerk’k grinned broadly, and we made love for the first and last time on Earth.