Melinda Jefferson (Daughter of the Prime Minister)
I stormed to my bedroom, holding my plate of food tightly. I pounded the code into the door and stomped inside. When the door hissed closed behind me, Kirk popped out of the closet, frowning.
“Are you all right? What happened?” he asked.
I thrust the plate of food to him and sighed in exasperation. There was no way I could tell him that I had slept with Aloitus, or describe the way he had attacked my feelings for regretting it afterward. I had never met a more insufferable, cruel man before. What had I been thinking, letting myself be vulnerable to him?
“Aloitus is an awful man,” I said as vaguely as possible. “I don’t really feel like talking about it right now.”
“Is he as bad as the Vellreq?” Kirk asked, moving beside me on the bed.
“Yes and no,” I said, sighing heavily. No, technically the Vellreq had treated me much, much worse. They never would have allowed me to leave my home, let alone take me out to a beautiful, mystical river unlike anything I had ever seen before. But they had never hurt me so badly either.
I had tossed and turned all night, thinking about what I had said to Aloitus and the pain that had flashed on his face before he had turned away. It was something I had regretted saying immediately. Didn’t he understand that it was difficult to accept any type of feelings for someone who had simply kidnapped me from my home?
But when I tried to apologize to him, he had all but bitten my head off and told me he didn’t want to see me at all. How could he have been so cruel? Why couldn’t he just try to put himself in my shoes instead of lashing out at me so harshly?
“Well don’t worry,” Kirk said brightly. “I’m here with you. And we’re going to figure a way out of this mess. Don’t worry.”
I stiffened when Kirk put his hand over mine. “I came all this way because I really like you, Melinda. I always have. And I was hoping that someday, maybe the two of us would, I don’t know…have a family of our own. I had no idea how many men across the universe I would have to fight to make that happen.”
I sighed inwardly. The truth was that I had never been romantically interested in Kirk. He had just been that fun, goofy kid brother who went on crazy adventures with me. Like following me across the universe to a strange planet where the Supreme Leader was hot and cold toward me and couldn’t handle any type of rejection or human emotion. What had I been thinking, allowing myself to surrender like that?
“Melinda, I love you,” Kirk said, setting his plate down on the bed and looking at me sincerely.
I studied Kirk, his sincere brown eyes and familiar face. Maybe that was what was supposed to happen between us. I was supposed to fall in love with Kirk, and he would rescue me from the bad guys, and everything would turn out as a simple and neat happily ever after.
Kirk didn’t wait for me to answer and swooped in to kiss me. I cringed, but kissed him back, my mind on the day before, the memory of Aloitus and his passion stirring a dark anger deep within me.
If he was going to make me feel that good but not care about how he made me feel, then he was just as cruel as I had originally thought he was. Maybe this thing with Kirk was what was right. Nothing else seemed to make sense anymore.
When Kirk pulled away, his eyes were sparkling.
“You didn’t throw up this time!”
I laughed, remembering the first time Kirk had kissed me during truth or dare with some of the neighborhood kids. I hadn’t wanted to kiss anybody, especially him, and had run off right after to vomit.
“No,” I agreed. “Maybe you’ve gotten better at it.”
Kirk grinned and came in for another kiss, and this time I let myself relax against the familiar feeling of having Kirk near me. It was different this way, but anything was better than letting myself stay caught up in my confusing feelings for Aloitus. At least Kirk was safe, and he cared about me enough to help me find my way home. I couldn’t let myself give in to my temptation for Aloitus any longer. I would be with Kirk, and that was that.
***
That night, I lay in bed with my stomach rumbling. I had refused to come out for any of the other meals. Aloitus had told me to stay away from him, so I wasn’t about to make myself vulnerable to him again. The last thing I needed was to feel any more of his wrath.
Kirk had disappeared into the closet, apparently floating on cloud nine. He spoke so excitedly about all the things he had always imagined we would do if we dated, and how it was like a dream come true for him to kiss me.
But the whole time he spoke, all I could think of was how hurt I felt about the way Aloitus had treated me. It had been very difficult for me to open myself up to him, especially to apologize for hurting him even though voicing my true feelings felt like the right thing to do at the time. Now though, I didn’t know anything.
Finally, the rumble in my stomach prompted me to get up, and I quietly ventured to the kitchen rather than steal from Kirk’s meager stash of food. Hopefully, I would be able to find something I could snack on. Otherwise, I would be up all night and victim to my hunger.
“What are you doing?”
My whole body was electrified by the surprising shock of Aloitus’s masculine voice rumbling from behind me.
“I got hungry,” I said, afraid not to speak to him. After all, he had made it abundantly clear that he was in charge. If I didn’t answer him, who could tell how he might react?
Aloitus trailed off, and I dared to face him, staring him defiantly in the eye.
“You said you didn’t want to see me, so I did what you wanted.”
“That wasn’t really what I wanted,” Aloitus said, his face so tired and confused that I almost felt sorry for him.
“Well, you sure fooled me,” I said, stalking on toward the kitchen. I could feel his powerful body follow me down the hall, although he moved with impressive silence.
“Apologies to you,” Aloitus said. “I am under a lot of pressure and—”
“Save it,” I interrupted. “I know the dynamic here. You’re the big, spoiled boss-man who is used to getting everything you want really easily with no questions asked. But you know what? Things aren’t always that easy. Feelings aren’t easy. And I’m not easy either, all right? And whether you think you own me or not, you don’t. And no matter how mad you get about it, it won’t change how I feel. The only thing that can change how I feel is me, do you understand?”
I shook my head and stalked toward the kitchen. Aloitus sighed quietly.
“Apologies to you,” he said tiredly, and disappeared down the other end of the hallway.
***
The next day I didn’t see Aloitus at all, except once when he strode past me. But that didn’t even count; it was as if he didn’t even see me there. All of the staff around the palace were whispering about how worried about him they were. Apparently he wasn’t eating or sleeping much. All he could think about was the Vellreq. But what did the Vellreq have to do with anything?
He had said that I was a bargaining chip the day he had been yelling at me. What did he mean by that? Maybe if I understood that, it would all come clear to me about why I was on Jenal’k in the first place.
“I missed you!” Kirk said when I returned from fifth meal, bearing a small loaf of a sweet, bready substance for him. He took the loaf gratefully and kissed the top of my head. As much as I wanted things to be simple and work out with Kirk, for some reason all I could focus on was Aloitus. He was working himself too hard. If he didn’t relax, something might happen to him.
“Thanks,” I said distractedly, crossing the room to sit on my bed.
“What’s the matter?” Kirk asked.
“I don’t know. Something is going on, but I don’t really know what. Something to do with the Vellreq.”
“That must be why you’re here,” Kirk said. “I was thinking about why they might have abducted you. It makes sense though, doesn’t it?”
“What makes sense? They wanted to piss off the Vellreq?”
“Yeah!”
Well, that would explain what Aloitus had meant by me being a bargaining chip. But it didn’t explain exactly why.
“What good would come from pissing off the Vellreq? I thought that most planets just tried to stay on their good side.”
“They are master manipulators,” Kirk said. “It can be pretty scary to be on the receiving end of their terror. That’s what my source was telling me.”
“Your source?” I asked.
“I know someone who can get us out of here, remember?”
I furrowed my brow. “I had forgotten, actually. How is that supposed to work.”
“Well, not until the shit hits the fan, you know. There’s going to be some kind of big fight, chaos and the like. Then we can take advantage of the distraction and take off. Nobody will even notice.”
“What kind of fight? Like a revolution? Are they going to overthrow Aloitus?”
“I don’t know,” Kirk said with a shrug. “Everybody who knows anything is really hush-hush about it. But maybe you should try to get some information out of Aloitus. See if he’s planning anything. That would get us all the information we need to make it out of here.”
The idea of facing Aloitus again after what I’d said to him in the hallway made me feel sick to my stomach. But Kirk was looking at me so adamantly that I felt compelled to nod.
“All right,” I agreed reluctantly. “I will try to talk to him about it.”
“Perfect!” Kirk said. “I’m going to try to get a hold of my friend to see what we can do about maybe speeding this up. I’m getting tired of sleeping on the floor.”
I felt as if this last part was sort of a jab at me for refusing to let him sleep in the bed with me. He had gotten a little bit pushy about sleeping with me, but I was still recoiling from my strange experience with Aloitus and had refused every time.
Although I knew I definitely should not fall in love with the man who had kidnapped me, I still couldn’t help but have some residual feelings for him nonetheless. The hardest part was not being able to tell Kirk. I knew that if he found out about it, it would do nothing but cause more trouble.
I left the room once Kirk had hidden himself back in the large closet, and ventured nervously toward the area of the palace where I had gleaned that Aloitus had his office. It didn’t take long to discover where it was; there was a line of men guarding the area, and all of them raised an eyebrow at me as I walked slowly toward the entrance.
“I’d like to speak to Aloitus,” I said softly. None of the men acknowledged me, and I sighed, looking around for some kind of intercom or something that I could use to send word to Aloitus that I was there.
Finally, I gave up and simply knocked on the door.
“Enter,” Aloitus said distractedly.
My stomach knotted as the doorway opened and I walked inside.
Aloitus jerked up from his work, apparently shocked to see me.
“What is it?” he asked, scrambling with his control panel to shut the door behind me so that nobody could overhear our conversation.
“I…I feel like I should know why I’m here. You’re hiding something from me.”
Aloitus and I stared at each other, the tension thick between us.
“Sit down, human,” he said with a sigh.
I did, a frown deepening on my face. Aloitus’s handsome face was tired, and I realized suddenly that I had no idea how to conduct myself around him. I wanted nothing more than to like him as much as it seemed my body did, but there was nothing I could do to erase this strange obstacle between us.
“I understand that you are upset,” Aloitus said. “I should not have been so angry. I am under a lot of pressure because tensions are high. I am working hard to ensure the survival of my people, and you are playing a key role in that. I hope that someday you will understand my position.”
“Well maybe I can understand right now,” I said. “What is the good in keeping me in the dark when we’re both affected right now? Don’t you need to talk to somebody about this?”
Aloitus looked at me, his worn, purple eyes flashing with a pained emotion I couldn’t quite pinpoint.
“I’m not going to burden you with this, human. It is not your issue. It is mine. However, I want you to know that no matter what happens, you and the other humans on Jenal’k will be safe.”
“No!” Aloitus barked, slamming his fist on the table. “This is my job, and you are interfering with it. Every day you interfere with it! This is more important than you and me, or our fleeting little feelings ever could be. Now please, leave me. I have much work to do.”
I frowned, a lump forming in my throat. Why was it that Aloitus was so unbelievably harsh with me? I did everything I could open myself up to him and work against all of the reasons telling me I shouldn’t trust this man. Something was eating away at him. Something big. And if he didn’t trust anybody with it, he was just going to destroy himself.
But if he didn’t want me there, then who was I to keep trying? I had a perfectly kind, loving man hiding in my closet that had stowed away across the universe to be with me. So why was I getting hung up on what this horrible man thought of me? Our relationship wasn’t real. All we had shared was a one-time thing. That was it. And apparently, that was all he saw it as.
I stood from my seat and left before Aloitus could see the tears falling down my cheeks. The last thing I wanted was to trouble him with any more meaningless emotions. If the Thressl’n were cold-hearted machines, there was no way my feelings would ever amount to anything. I would just have to swallow them and do my best to be happy. Kirk would do anything for me. Why couldn’t I just love him?
***
I didn’t expect Aloitus to be in the dining room when the fifth and final meal of the day was served. I was hoping just to take the whole plate of food to Kirk, who had been complaining more and more that he wasn’t getting enough to eat.
But to my surprise, Aloitus was quietly chewing his food by the time I arrived at the dining room, and I sat down quietly. I had nothing left to say to him. Every time we spoke lately, he had been dismissing me and belittling whatever I was feeling. I didn’t deserve that. I should focus my affections on someone who truly cared about me. Someone like Kirk, who, apparently, I had been neglecting to feed properly.
“Human, make sure you are awake early tomorrow. We are going on a trip. You will need to pack a few things. Do you understand?”
I looked up at Aloitus, surprised.
“A trip? Where?”
“Do not ask questions of me, human. Just do as you are asked and confirm whether or not you understand your instructions.”
“I understand what you want me to do. I don’t understand why.”
Aloitus sighed deeply and rose from his seat.
“Be ready before first meal. We will dine out tomorrow.”
I frowned as Aloitus left the room, leaving me in a shroud of mystery.
I looked around the room for Peko, but she was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, everybody had figured out that the tension between Aloitus and I was high. Nobody wanted to be caught in the middle of that.
As a result, the staff had grown cold toward me, and even Peko was reluctant to engage in civil conversation. They didn’t want to get on the Supreme Leader’s bad side. I had seen similar things happen when my father and I were fighting. It was better not to anger the beast.
“All right, then,” I mumbled to myself with a deep sigh.
Why did he hide so much from me? It was infuriating. He didn’t trust me, he didn’t respect my emotions, and he wanted me to obey him like some kind of mindless slave. It was unreasonable, and I was some kind of idiot for thinking that I would ever be able to reason with a man like him. As much as I wanted to like him, and to think that my feelings for Aloitus were justified, the fact was that they weren’t and he didn’t deserve any of my attention.
I prickled with anger and agitation and rose from my seat, holding the plate of food. And now he was taking me on some weird, mysterious trip, after telling me to leave him alone twice now. What kind of a man was he?!
I made my way from the dining room to my bedroom, looking forward to the seclusion of the comfortable bed. Even if everything was hell with Aloitus, at least Kirk wouldn’t complain to me about being hungry.