Chapter Forty-Five
Carina
Paralyzed by fear, Carina stood and watched the man she loved leave the room with gun in hand. She wanted to tell him not to go, but the words wouldn’t come. She felt completely helpless and worse, responsible for what was happening. Regaining her senses, she ran out of the bedroom just in time to see Josh crack the front door behind him.
Although muffled, she distinctly heard a female voice coming from the hallway outside the front door. Her mind went right back to those visions she had entertained just moments ago. Fearful and seeing green, she came out of hiding and walked into the living room. The voices grew louder and as she drew closer, Carina gathered that the exchange between Josh and the woman was a heated one.
Just inside the door, Carina listened to Josh’s sharp tongue and the woman’s quick response.
“I want you to leave,” he said.
“What? Not even a ‘nice to see you?’ No ‘how was your flight?’” the woman asked.
Carina’s intrigue soared and she threw the door open.
“Well, well. Who is your little friend, Joshua?”
Carina stared at the beautiful woman and instantly formulated an opinion. She hated the bitch. With her golden hair, bright blue eyes and perfectly manicured nails, the woman looked Carina over from head to toe.
“My name is Carina McGinnis. Who are you?” Josh shot her a glance, one bathed in worry, but Carina stood her ground and waited for the woman’s answer.
“I’m Ava Graham.” Again, Carina felt the woman’s eyes drinking her in. But this time her gaze remained on Carina’s face, most likely on the shiner that interestingly enough started to throb at that exact moment. “Put two and two together yet, sweetie?”
“I know why you’re here, Mother. You’re wasting your time,” Josh said, grabbing Carina’s hand.
Ava Graham smiled, sending a chill down Carina’s spine. “Are you quite certain?” she asked. The woman’s arrogance was mind-blowing. But nothing was more disturbing than when she pushed past Carina and made herself at home in Josh’s apartment. “Make yourself scarce, Katrina. I need to speak with my son.”
Josh slammed the door behind them. His grip tightened and he pulled Carina to his side. “I thought I had made myself clear months ago, on the anniversary of Julia’s death to be precise, that I never wanted to see you or hear from you again. But apparently, I was wrong. Because here you are in my living room, doing exactly what your mother predicted you would do. God, she knows you like the back of her hand. She always has.”
Ava Graham’s smug smile faded. Her eyes narrowed and for a moment, Carina imagined that fangs and claws would emerge. “Ah, Lady Jane, the eternal thorn in my side.”
Josh’s chuckle startled Carina. “Your thorn, but my safe haven.”
“You unappreciative brat! I gave you everything your Lady Jane deprived me of while growing up. Although we were one of the wealthiest families in New York, my mother was determined to keep the power for herself. She dangled it in front of me, begged me to look at it, to crave it. And then she moved us out of the city to that cottage you and Julia never stopped talking about. What did you call it?”
“My sanctuary.”
“And my hell.” Ava Graham’s face twisted in disgust. “Overnight my life changed. No more private schools, balls, and friends who were as rich as me. Your Lady Jane took it all away because she couldn’t handle the pressure of high society. And I’m the one who paid for it.” Ava Graham surveyed her surroundings. “Look at what you call home. Look at the girl you allow to remain at your side. She may be pretty, but it’s difficult to see past the black eye and smeared mascara.”
Carina felt him lunge. It took all her strength to pull him back. “She saw what you had become. The only thing Lady Jane was guilty of was that she had waited too long, that she thought she could change you by taking you from that world of privilege and immerse you in a more realistic one. But you were a lost cause, a jaded little girl, an insatiable little girl who had been seduced by power and greed.” He was shaking. The sight broke Carina’s heart. “Now get out of my sight,” he hissed.
“McGinnis, you say?” Somehow, the hideous woman had ignored what Josh had said and gave Carina a once over. “Any relation to the McGinnis family from New Jersey? The one whose combined income earned them a top spot in Forbes last month?”
Carina knew she was baiting her, but she took it with no regrets. “One and the same. Still think I’m a gold digger, Ava?”
Ava Graham raised a brow and clapped her hands. “Sassy little thing, isn’t she, Joshua? Bruise and all.”
Josh turned and stared at Carina with a smile so bright that it snuffed out the darkness that Ava Graham had brought with her from New York. “Yes, she is.” He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. “And not at all interested in what you have to offer.”
Ava Graham threw her head back and laughed. “She’s a woman, Joshua. Don’t be so naïve.”
Josh’s hand fell away from Carina’s face and he again put his focus on the woman who had given birth to him. “You know that I want nothing to do with White Spring. I’ve never wanted to take over Dad’s company.”
“White Spring has been in this family for decades. You will break that legacy, for what? For your own selfish needs? Do you have any sense of allegiance to your family?”
“Lady Jane, my friends, and Carina are my family,” Josh said. He walked over and opened the front door. “Never contact me again, Mother. There is nothing left to say.”
“I see.” Ava Graham unzipped her purse and retrieved what appeared to be a DVD. “Regina found this one day while she was cleaning. I have no use for it. But you, my weak, pathetic excuse for a son, will most likely treasure it until your dying day.” She placed the DVD on the kitchen counter. A mischievous grin marred her perfect face. With a flip of her hair, she walked out of her son’s apartment without a second glance.
Carina couldn’t believe what she had witnessed. Her heart bled for Josh, for what he and Julia had to endure as children. Portions of the fairy tale Josh had told her just moments before his mother had come knocking on his door had been her reality. How many days had Carina come home from school and sat at the kitchen table with a chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk, telling her mother who she had played with, who had pulled her hair and who had chased her around the schoolyard? How many mornings had she awoken to her mother making her and her brothers breakfast, just to have them devour it in seconds and leave her to clean up the mess? More than she could count.
Josh walked over to the window. Carina didn’t know what to say. What words could comfort him? The devil herself had stormed back into his life and left just as quickly. His attention seemed fixed on something as he stared at the world below. Carina went to console him. She followed his gaze and caught a glimpse of that blonde hair. Ava Graham entered an idling limo.
“I’m sorry you had to be exposed to that,” he said, turning away from the window. His eyes were somber, but mostly tired. How often did she put him through this?
“No. I’m sorry you had to grow up with a mother like that. She’s absolutely…” Carina couldn’t find the proper adjective to describe such a hideous creature.
“She’s no Lucrezia McGinnis,” he said. His smile was strained. It infuriated her that this woman could walk back into his life and shred him to pieces. “But I imagine God broke the mold with her.”
Carina knew that she’d had a wonderful childhood, which was made possible by her two loving and devoted parents, but she hadn’t realized to what extent until now. “I love you, Josh.”
His smile evaporated. His jaw tightened. She reached out to touch him but he moved away, as if her fingertips would cause him pain. She jerked her hand back and watched him pace the room. She didn’t know whether to follow him, stand there like a freaking statue or beg him to talk to her. But before she could make a decision he left the living room and retreated to the bedroom. He was hurting, and she had no idea what he needed. She ran to the bedroom just in time to see him tossing a lamp across the room. She had never seen that look in his eyes before. It was as if someone had jumped into his body, and he had relinquished all control to the new inhabitant.
Carina was desperate. Her man was spiraling and he needed to regain some semblance of control. She remembered what he had told her before his witch of a mother had shown up tonight. How he had coped all these years, what he did to forget that horrific night and the two people who didn’t deserve to be parents. She could do this for him. If that was what it would take to bring Josh back to the present, back to her.
Carina removed her sandals, lifted her sundress over her head, unclipped her bra, and shimmied out of her panties. He watched in silence as she stripped away her clothes. She climbed onto the bed, crouched on her knees and elbows, and gripped one of the bed posts.
“I want to give you want you need. I want you to fuck me.” She heard the sound of his zipper and felt the bed give under his weight. His hands found her hips, but his thumbs kneaded her ass cheeks.
Carina felt his cock nudge her entrance. She tightened her grip on the post. His hands moved from her hips to her breasts and he pinched her nipples. Her body was on fire for him, the desire coursing through her veins. She bucked against him in the hope that the sudden movement would draw him in. But still he held firm, his cock sliding between her swollen folds.
His fingers left her nipples and she felt him pry her hands from the bedpost. He flipped her onto her back and stared into her eyes. The being that had possessed her man was gone. The fury and sadness were replaced with love and admiration. “You are what I need, Carina.” His cock rested between her parted thighs. “I will never fuck you. I will never take you like one of them.”
Her breathing hitched as she let his words sink in. “I…I need to feel you,” she begged. With a thrust of his hips he consumed her, stretched her, made her burn with need. She grabbed his ass, forcing his pelvis to hers, to grind harder. “Josh…more!”
“Oh…God!” He slammed into her over and over again. “I need you, Carina. I’ll always need you,” he said between shallow breaths.
He pulled out and then drove into her, sending her right over the edge. Seconds later his back grew rigid and his length stilled within her. His lips parted and he let out a groan that seemed to rip through his entire body. She clung to him as he came, as he marked her as his.