We end up in a room I would assume is the library but for the fact that it’s lacking books. It’s more of a sitting room filled with butter-colored leather couches, overstuffed chairs, and a grand floor-to-ceiling window that must have some stunning views during the day to warrant such a prominent place in the room.
Madeline waits for me to enter first and then quietly closes the double doors behind us and walks over to a couch. “Please, sit. Make yourself comfortable.”
I walk to one of the chairs, still looking for the books in this library, and take a seat.
“It’s all digital these days, right?” Madeline says, waving a hand at the room in general. “Everyone reads books on a device. I resisted for years, but technology. The future cannot be denied, no matter how hard we try to rebel.”
I shrug.
“Besides, we move too often to have collections of anything.”
“Move what?”
“Places, Sasha. Residences. I don’t own any homes in my own name. They are all purchased or leased under company names.”
I know what she means. I understand that the word company has a generally benign definition to most people. But we are not most people and my spine goes stiff at the mere mention of the word. “What is it you need to say?”
“You’re not the least bit interested in me?”
I have nothing for that. She’s serious. “Why would I be? You show up in my life after all these years and expect—what? I’ll run into your arms and give you a hug? I’m so over that.”
“Over what?” she asks, reaching for a tea set on the large oval coffee table. “Drink?” she offers.
I ignore her offer. “Over wishing my life was anything but what it is. You could’ve found me at any time after my birth and you didn’t. You left me to figure all this shit out for myself.”
“You did a remarkable job. You turned out much better than most.”
“I was lucky.”
“You were taught well.”
“And that has nothing to do with you.”
“True. But your hostility towards me is misplaced. I’m not part of the problem. I’m part of the solution.”
“I don’t need your solution. My problems were solved a long time ago.”
“Is that why Nick Tate is on the hunt?”
“I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him in years. But I’m sure if he wanted to find me, he’d find a way.”
“That’s his number one priority at this very moment, Sasha. He’s looking for you. And he’s broken away from his handler in Central America. Matias is just now figuring it out, but Nick Tate was never part of his gang. He was always one of us.”
“Define us.”
“Company.”
Once again the word shuts me down.
“I have a simple request, that’s all. And I’ll get right to the point since you are so eager to leave. You can think about it overnight, but I need an answer in the morning.”
“I’m not staying here, so I’ll just give you my answer now. No.”
“Not even if it means you can prevent dozens, if not hundreds of other girls from having to navigate the world like you? Hmmm? You’re so selfish that you’d turn your back on your Company sisters who need help?”
My thwarted plans the day Jax found me at the airport hit me in the chest like a bullet. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She gives me a funny look and I squirm in my seat. Shut the fuck up, Sasha.
She drags her stare from me and concentrates on filling a tea cup and adding two teeny-tiny spoonfuls of sugar. “I’m well-loved around here. I have over twenty-five saved souls on my list of accomplishments.”
“Excuse me?”
“All boys, so far. As you well know, they are much easier to save.” And then a small chuckle erupts from her lips and I get that chill again. “Jax might disagree, but his situation is unique.”
Jax? He said he wasn’t Company. If he lied to me—
“We did our best in that case. But the Company, as I’m sure you are aware, has legions of assassins on staff. You yourself are one of them.”
“I wasn’t. I have no number.”
“Zero? That’s a number, isn’t it? Last I checked.”
“Zero means nothing.”
“You’re wrong. Zero is the number that when added multiplies everything by ten. Add two, and you multiply by a hundred. Three, a thousand.”
“I get it, but it’s bullshit.”
“It’s not, Sasha. It’s the one thing they’ve tried that actually works.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sleepers. The girls. The child killers. You were one of them. Your father didn’t follow protocol and that’s why you’re still alive, I think. But none of the others survived, aside from Harper Tate, and she barely counts, since the Admiral never seriously had her in the sleeper program to begin with. It was all for show. To make everything equal. You know, an example. None of the other Company girls had protection like the two of you did. But Nick, on the other hand, he was properly indoctrinated. He’s made quite a name for himself down there in Miami.”
“Miami?” Shit. I have no clue. I’m so out of my element here. I used to be the girl who knew everything but lately I feel like the last to know anything.
She waves a hand at me and takes a sip of her tea before setting her china cup down on its pretty matching saucer. “Never mind Nick for now. I can handle him. But the girls I’ve found, they are another matter. They are wild. Have you met any of them?”
“No,” I lie. “Just Harper.”
“Hmmm,” she says. Not quite calling me out. So maybe she doesn’t know about Sydney, Merc’s girlfriend. She was a Company girl. And she was a sleeper assassin too. As dangerous a girl as they come. Maybe even more dangerous than me under normal circumstances. But her mind was fucked so hard, she might never be normal.
No, I’m the one who kept her head. I’m the one who made it out intact.
“At any rate, you’re angry at me for not saving you. But now that I’m offering you a chance to save other girls, other Company girls, you want to run away from the offer.”
“You never offered me shit.”
“I’m offering now, Sasha. Help me reach them. Help me undo the years of training and abuse. Help me steal them back, if necessary.”
“You want me to steal baby girls.” This bitch is nuts.
“And retrain the older ones.”
I really might throw up. Just what the hell is she asking? “You can’t just steal children.”
“Why not? The Company does. They stole you. They stole your mother.”
“And yet you managed to escape.”
“Your grandfather—my father—went to extreme lengths to save me.”
“But not my mother?”
“She was a full-blood Company girl. He had no chance. But tomorrow there will be a very important meeting here. A meeting that will change the tide for these girls. And I need you to be there. I need your support. Because my associates have it in their heads that you are the only one capable of this job and I have it in my head that I am the only one with enough knowledge to see it through. I need your help to secure that position.”
“That makes no sense. Who would follow you? Not me!” I laugh. “And I’m just a grad student in anthropology. I have not seen action in a decade.”
“But Julian’s attack proved that you still have skills.”
“So that was planned. You people are sick. And I think I’ve heard enough.” I get up from my chair and turn away, walking briskly to the door.
“You can leave, Sasha. I can’t force you to cooperate. It would never work unless you’re a believer. But those girls, they’re counting on you. Their fate rests in your hands.”
I stop for a moment, but I don’t turn to face her. “I’m not the savior of Company girls, Madeline. I’m just a recovering Company girl myself.”
“You were never a Company girl, Sasha. You were a Company assassin. There’s a big difference. You had it better than most. You and Harper both had it better than all the others. You have no idea the torture they endure. You were a very sheltered child in that respect. And now you’re a very sheltered adult. But I know you’ve met Sydney Channing. Now that is what a Company girl looks like. And Nick is out there now, killing them as fast as I can save them, Sasha. Did you know he’s been killing Company kids for years? Hmmm? You’re on the wrong side.”
Nick? What? I try my best not to react and spit out my words. “You’re a liar and my answer is still no.” And with that I grab the handle of the door and pull it open.
“The fourth door on the left is a washroom, Sasha Cherlin. You should wipe that blood off your face before you leave. Makes you look like a fighter. Best to keep up your high-society appearances.”
“Fuck you.”
I exit, slamming the door behind me on my way out. But I touch my bleeding lip as I walk towards the door she was referring to, and open it up.
Julian is standing in front of the mirror. He looks my reflection in the eye as he messes with a tie around his neck.
But when he turns I realize it’s not a tie. It’s a white collar. I have to let off a laugh. “A priest? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re like twenty years old. There are no twenty-year-old priests.”
“Twenty-four, Sasha. Just like you. And celibacy was my only option after Nick took what was mine.”
“That’s enough, Julian,” Jax says from behind me. “The car is ready, Sasha. Let’s go.”
“She’ll find out eventually, Jax.”
“Go home, Julian. You’ve done enough damage tonight.” And then Jax takes me by the arm and guides me with his other hand on the small of my back.
“What’s that mean?” I ask, as we shrug our coats back on. “What the fuck? He’s a priest because Nick took… what? His promise? Did Nick kill some girl he was promised to?”
He ignores my question until we exit the mansion and head back towards the car. “Forget Julian. He’s never been entirely sane. Let’s get out of here. I had no idea she set this up.”
I sigh as I climb back into the car. So tired. So ready to just go home and sleep in my bed and try to forget this day ever happened. Everything about it was bad.
Well, I think as Jax climbs into the car on the other side of me, maybe not everything. I know I should be fuming at Jax, but the comfort I felt in his arms earlier… that was unexpected. It was nice, actually. And the sex was amazing.
I’ve always tried to find the good in the bad. Even back when I was a kid, I was known for making the best of things. Knock me down, I get up. That’s how it’s always been.
So I make Jax the reason I get back up tonight.
I want more of that. But I need to figure out what his role is in all this before I let him touch me again. I can’t afford to lose myself to lust.