I wake up screaming.
“Sasha,” Jax says next to me.
“What the fuck?” I look around the room wildly. “Why are you in my bed?”
“Sasha, you’re fine.”
“Where am I?” It’s dark and I am in bed. But even in the dim light I can see I’m not in my bed. “Whose room is this?” And then I look down at my clothes. Which are not my clothes. “Whose clothes are these?” I jump up, slipping out of Jax’s firm grip on my arm, and bounce out of the bed, my feet hitting the floor.
“Sasha, please. Listen.” Jax gets out of the bed on his side, ready to come towards me, but my instincts kick in. My eyes find the door, and before I can even make a conscious decision, I’m through it—running down a hallway. It leads to a small living room and my socked feet slide on the polished hardwood floors.
Front door. Check.
I’m unlocking the chain and pulling it open before Jax even makes it to the living room behind me.
“Sasha!” he yells.
But I’m already out into the cold night air. Three’s a steady drizzle coming down and even though I’m in full-on get-the-fuck-out-of-here mode, all I can think of is why the fuck is it still raining in December?
“Sasha! You’re getting wet. Come back inside.”
I stop about a hundred feet from the house and look around. “Where the hell am I?”
“Just come inside and I’ll tell you.”
“No.” I whirl around. “No. You drugged me again!”
Jax laughs, just like he did the last time I accused him. “Where do you come up with that shit? I didn’t drug you. You were obviously exhausted. You fell asleep in the car, remember? After we left Madeline’s estate?”
I do remember that. “Why am I here when I should be home?”
“I can explain, OK? Just give me a chance. You’re gonna freeze out here. Come inside.”
I look down at my clothes. I’m wearing men’s black boxer briefs and a man-sized black t-shirt. “Where the fuck did these clothes come from?”
“You were sound asleep when we got here, Sasha. I swear. I woke you up as best I could and I told you to change.”
I stare at him dubiously.
“I swear to God, Sasha. I did not drug you. You’re just disoriented. And if you calm down and come back inside, I’m sure you’ll remember.”
I look around and take it all in. There’s a half-moon. Just enough light to see that there are no lights anywhere surrounding this house. I force myself to take deep, deep breaths to calm my racing heart. “Where are we?”
“Nebraska.”
Farmland. That’s all I see. Flat, fallow farmland. And a few dark splotches in the distance that might be trees. “Why the fuck am I still in Nebraska?”
“Will you come inside?” He’s wearing the same thing as me, I realize. And we were sleeping in the same bed. And I had sex with him in the car last night.
Jesus Christ. What the hell am I doing here?
“Sasha,” Jax says, reaching behind the door to grab something. My heart kicks it up another notch as I picture him grabbing a gun. But he comes back into view sliding an umbrella open. “Come on,” he says, taking a few slow steps outside towards me. “You’re getting wet. Let’s go inside and talk about this.”
“Take me home, Jax. Right now.” I eye him as he carefully makes his way out towards me. “I want to go home.”
“I will, Sasha.” He’s only a few paces away when he stops walking. “I will. But I told you I’d show you everything I had on Nick. And this is where I have it.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s a trick. You’re tricking me.”
He takes those final few steps and places the umbrella over my head. The cool prickles of rain stop misting my bare skin and I realize just how cold it is. “You’re all wet now. Come on, let’s go inside and I’ll show you why you’re here. This is my safe house. It’s FBI-sanctioned. It’s only a secret to outsiders. I swear,” he says, crossing his heart with his free hand. “They know you’re here with me. I called it in last night. I’ll show you inside.”
“You turned me in?”
“Sasha,” he says, blowing out some air like he’s getting frustrated. “I already explained to you. Months ago. We don’t want to arrest you, we only want your help. They’re not gonna come take you away. No one is going to hurt you here. That’s why we call it a safe house. This is where I keep all my reconnaissance on Nick. And if you come inside, it will take one flip of a light switch to prove that everything I just said is true.”
I stand still as I consider this.
“Come on,” he insists, taking my arm and pulling me back towards the house. “It’s wet and cold out here. Let’s go back inside and I’ll explain everything.”
I allow him to lead me back to the house. What choice do I have? I’m half-naked and in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.
When we get to the door I hesitate for a moment, but he doesn’t ask me again. Just tugs me back inside and closes the door behind us.
“Just…” He hesitates, making me look up at his face. I can’t see much since there are no lights on, but I can tell his reluctance is due to what’s coming.
“Just tell me, Jax.”
And then his fingertips find a light switch on the wall and the room illuminates.
Everywhere I look, there is nothing but Nick.