I expected the anxiety to continue or even build when we got back to Soti’s apartment, but instead I’m instantly calm. When we walk through the door, he sets our overnight bags on the floor and takes me in his arms. I almost forget we’ve been running for our lives.

“Welcome home,” he says, eyes crinkling with his smile.

He tilts my head up and kisses me weak. His tongue still tastes faintly of cinnamon. My heart thumps out of beat, remembering our time earlier and anticipating what he’ll do next. He picks me up and carries me to the bedroom, pulling my shirt over my head and letting it drop behind us.

When we reach the bed, he tosses me on it and leans over me, grinning. It’s infectious and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to not go full-on beaming.

“We’re home,” he says. “Let’s get naked. We have a honeymoon to continue.”

“You get naked.” I point to my bra. “I’m already halfway there. You’ve got some catching up to do.”

He pulls his shirt off in one tug and throws it across the room. My bra quickly follows, then my jeans, his jeans, until eventually, nothing is left. I let him do all the work, entertained by how fast he can move when he wants my clothes off.

It’s hard to believe it’s only been a few days since my mother was in this room threatening us. I quickly shove thoughts of her aside. My past doesn’t belong in our bed. That’s become my constant motto when we’re together.

“Are you still with me?” His voice is raspy and makes my stomach clench.

He tilts my chin up to meet his eyes and I lose my breath. The sun streaming through the window hits his amber eyes just right and reminds me of a late night summer bonfire. I can’t look away.

The playful mood is gone. He lowers his bare chest onto mine, propping his elbows on either side of me while we stare at each other. Something is shifting and I don’t know why, but it feels bigger than both of us.

I nod.

“Say it,” he whispers.

“I’m with you. Just you—”

His eyes stay locked on mine as he slowly fills me.

“And me,” I whisper.

I get lost in him, not sure if he’s hypnotizing me with the fire in his eyes or if I’m wide awake and willingly going under.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, I live a life I never dreamed I could have. I wake up and fall asleep with Soti by my side. We cook meals together and talk and laugh over everything and nothing. We hang out with Miss Jez and JT throughout the day, doing whatever needs to be done around the community center. I stay busy with the behind-the-scenes jobs—helping get art supplies ready for Miss Christine, chopping all the vegetables for Miss Jez, cleaning the community center after it closes—yet I still don’t feel like I’m doing enough to contribute. Soti says he doesn’t know how they survived without me. I think he’s just being his sweet self; clearly, I’m the one who could never survive without him.

JT, Miss Jez, and Miss Christine take the news of our marriage a lot better than Zed, after the initial disappointment that we had a wedding without them. Once we tell them the risks involved with me being here, they understand and seem to accept me without question.

I look in the mirror and can hardly believe the change. My eyes are bright. My cheeks are flushed. I have a constant smile ready to break out into a laugh at any moment. I’ll never be able to fully show Soti how happy he makes me. But I try. And so does he. He goes out of his way to please me. Too much, even. He noticed that I like my toast buttered on both sides, so he beats me to it every morning. The exact amount of sugar I like in my sweet tea. My favorite ice cream—mint chocolate chip—is always in the freezer. After he’s worked out, I have an ice pack ready for him. I make sure the laundry never fills up the basket, even though he fusses at me, saying I don’t need to do it. I love taking care of him.

At least once a day, he says in some variation: “You’re working too hard. Don’t forget we’re in this together.”

He’s too good for me.

“I’ve never done laundry or cooked for anyone. These simple things I can do for you are a privilege, the way sleeping in your bed is. Except that’s beyond a privilege,” I tell him.

“I want it to feel like less of a privilege and more like your rightful place,” he says. “You make me complete, Lili.”

I turn to face him in bed that night after we make love. We don’t call it that out loud, but I’m getting closer to slipping.

“Sex before you was like peering through a gauzy veil at something I tried not to see. An onlooker watching vile acts between strangers. Someone who resembled me on the outside but couldn’t possibly be me.” I smile. “You’ve shown me the person I’m no longer hiding behind. You’re the one teaching me.” I lean in to kiss him. “Each time is a revelation,” I whisper, kissing him with each word. “A benediction…”

“God, I love you,” he whispers.

He’s said it every day since Zed’s house. I haven’t said it back yet; I’m afraid to put those words out into the universe, afraid to hope that he won’t still be snatched away from me. But I want to hear him say it again and again.

We fall into bed each night saying we’ve just had the best day of our lives. Looking too far ahead is scary. The future is unsettled, so we don’t think about it.

The longer I’m away from my mother and the house, the more I see how destructive all of my previous relationships have been. We don’t hear a word from Nico. The disappearance of Bentley is being speculated about on the news every day, but so far no connection has been made to Maison D’amour or Nico. I’ve managed to keep my mouth shut about it. Call it denial or cowardice, but I’ll do anything to protect this new life.

* * *

Next week will be July fourth and two months since we got married. We’ve decided to throw a party to celebrate both. Turns out, the universe has only momentarily shifted on my behalf and I am living a dream.

Soti kisses me goodbye and JT groans. “You’ll see her the minute we get back.”

They have a meeting across town and I’m helping Miss Christine all morning, so we won’t see each other until this afternoon.

“I miss you already.” I stand on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

He gives me one more lingering kiss and bops JT on the back of the head when he keeps griping. JT bops him back. I used to worry they’d hurt each other, but now I laugh and back up before they wrestle each other to the ground.

They’re gone maybe twenty minutes when someone knocks on my door. I’m putting my shoes on and don’t get to it right away.

“I know you’re in there, Lilith,” my mom says, pounding. “Let me in.”

My hands start shaking. Zed’s security team is supposed to keep visits like this from happening.

“I don’t want to see you, Alexis. You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving until I’ve seen you, so we may as well get it over with,” she says.

A wave of hatred passes through me, and I don’t try to fight it the way I did growing up. I open the door and she rushes in, already spewing her nonsense.

“There’s a way out of here without anyone seeing you and you need to take it. Tonight, Lilith. It has to be tonight. If you have to break cameras doing it, whatever it takes … I can’t wait any—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I break her tirade. “You need to get that through your head and leave me alone, Mother.”

The look she gives me feels like a stake in my back.

When she speaks, her voice is low and deliberate. “If you want this community center to keep standing, and all the people in it, you’ll leave. Now. Otherwise, your husband,” she spits the words, “will go up in flames just like Maison D’amour.”

I gasp and she grabs my arm, shoving me toward the bedroom. My phone starts ringing in the other room.

“Figure out a way to make it believable. If you tell anyone you’re leaving, we’ll come and get you out ourselves. But it won’t be as pretty that way, someone will get hurt.” She looks in my eyes and when she sees the fear, she lets go of my arm. “I’m glad you’re listening. You’ve wasted too much time as it is.” She looks around my room with contempt and then sets something on my bed.

I have to hold onto the dresser when I see what it is. “Get that gun out of here! Are you crazy?” Of course, she’s crazy. How have I never fully seen her madness before now?

“I’m leaving it. You might need it to leave.”

“Take the gun. I won’t need it. Or maybe I should just use it on you.” I hate how shaky my words come out.

She shrugs. “Try it and you’ll see I’m right about everything I’ve said. Soti Christos will be ashes.”

“I hate you,” I whisper. I put the gun in her hands and she tucks it away.

Tears blur my vision, and I rub my eyes in time to see her going out the bedroom door. She stops in the hallway.

“Don’t try to stop this, Lilith.” Her voice is like steel.

I shake my head.

The door flies open and Soti rushes in. “Lili, are you okay?” He’s in front of us in seconds, his chest caving in and out from running.

“I’m okay,” I lie. The first of many lies I will tell him today. My heart splits open and cracks with each word that follows. “My mom and I needed to talk. We’re done now.” I even smile, and, in that moment, I hate myself more than I could ever hate her.

“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I tried to warn you.”

I bite my lip until it hurts. “It’s all right. We needed to clear the air a little bit.”

He tries to read my eyes to see if I’m telling him everything, but I look down and squeeze his arm.

“I was just leaving,” Alexis says. “Thanks for seeing me, Lilith.”

“Next time, let me know when you’re coming.” I think I sound convincing. I’ve been out of practice, but she did raise a good liar, after all.

It feels as if hours have passed since everything turned upside down, but in reality, it’s only been minutes. The universe doesn’t shift for anyone.

* * *

The rest of the morning passes in a fog. Soti doesn’t leave my side. He wants to know every detail of what happened with Alexis and how she managed to bypass the new security detail. I haven’t fully figured that out myself, only that Alexis has her ways. I should have grilled her more. I gloss over everything, telling him she was only here for a few minutes and wanted to make sure I hadn’t changed my mind about anything. I assure him I’ve taken care of her. We won’t be seeing her again. She knows I’m not going anywhere.

Lie after lie.

He’d been in a meeting with a potential contributor to the locker bags and left without much explanation when Zed called to tell him Alexis was inside the community center. He really needed that account, so after he’s sure we’ve covered everything, I convince him that I’m fine and he makes a few phone calls to reschedule the meeting.

I zombie through the rest of the day, somehow managing to put one foot in front of the other, while my mind somersaults over itself to come up with a way out of leaving. I don’t see another way. If I stay, it only dead-ends to Soti getting hurt. If I leave, he’ll still be hurt, but at least he’ll be safe. I’ll just have to live with the guilt of breaking his heart.

While Soti helps with dinner, I catch Miss Christine before she leaves for the day and give her a book she’d loaned me. I thank her for it and give her a quick hug. She’s surprised at first and then squeezes me tighter. When the dinner crowd has cleared out, I get after the dishes, working next to Miss Jez.

JT walks in and grins expectantly. He grabs a piece of pie. I force a smile and hold up a bigger piece of pie.

“Trade ya,” I tell him.

He gladly takes the bigger piece. “You’re all right, Lili Christos,” he says.

I’ve never hugged JT or even touched him, but I wish I could right now, more than anything.

“You are too, JT.”

The lump in my throat grows and I hurry to finish cleaning so I won’t cry in front of them. Miss Jez chats away, used to my quiet. When we’re done, she gives me her usual smile.

“Shoo-wee, my bones is tired,” she says. “I sho do appreciate the help, pretty girl. You have made this old woman’s life a whole lot easier.” She chuckles and leans against the door, watching me.

I busy myself with the mop so she won’t see the misery on my face. “Get some rest, Miss Jez.”

“Will do, honey. Will do. And I asked JT to take care of the bathrooms tonight, so you don’t need to worry ‘bout that, okay? You look like you could use some rest, too.”

“You’re too good to me, Miss Jez. Thank you.” I look at her and try to store away this memory. I want to remember what this warmth in my chest feels like … the feeling of being cared about, tended to.

She shushes me with her hand, unable to take much praise from me.

“Nighty-night,” she says and is gone.

Soti peeks through the door just as I’m finishing mopping. “Ready to go home?” he asks, grinning.

I stare at him and swallow hard. The thought of not seeing him again is crippling. But the thought of him dead is much, much worse. A world without Soti Christos in it would be a heartless place. The unthinkable. Every time I’ve considered telling him everything, I’m reminded of how Maison D’amour burned that night and might never be restored to what it once was. How the lifeless body of Bentley looked lying on that floor. Angel and Lexy. I believe my mother this time. The outcome would be just as she said.

“You okay, love?” His husky voice slides around my heart like warm caramel sauce, covering all the gaping holes.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “Take me home, husband.”

* * *

We have sex twice—the first time against the wall in our living room, and the second time in our bed. I take snapshots in my head of every part of his body, every freckle, every shade in his tattoos, every sinew and muscle, every characteristic of his face. For the first time, I admit it: I love him with everything in me.

My brain screams it all the time: “I love you!” But I never say the words out loud. And tonight it’s too late. I want him to know how completely and helplessly in love with him I am, but if I tell him, he’ll come looking for me, and he has to let me go.

When he’s asleep, exhausted from the hours we’ve spent together, I get out of bed and leave the room. Earlier, I placed clothes under the bathroom sink, and now, I hurriedly put them on. I write a quick note on a notepad we keep in a nearby drawer.

* * *

* * *

I don’t go back to look at him one more time, although everything in me wants to. I set the note on the kitchen counter and walk out carrying nothing but my purse. At the last minute, I turn around to pick up one of the framed pictures of us on our wedding day and put it in my bag.

I walk down the steps and out the back of the community center, not bothering to hide from the surveillance cameras, but waiting to run for the alley until the exact moment the guard outside isn’t looking. I move quickly, unsure how many other guards are watching this late at night. I run a couple of blocks over and the car is sitting exactly where she said it would be.

The door opens as I get closer, and before I can run back to safety, I’m blindfolded and shoved inside the car.

My life with Soti is officially over.