I’m up early, eating Cap’n Crunch and groaning over the damn shreds it always gives the roof of my mouth. This crap’s painful. I flip on the news while I put my bowl in the sink. There was a fire during the night—I stop to look at the screen when I hear the location. Not too far from here. As I watch the footage of the house burning, I recognize the place. I’ve admired the French architecture many times. It’s been around forever.

And then I freeze. There she is. On the screen. She appears to be fine, but very little emotion shows on her face, so it’s hard to tell. She must be a neighbor … no—she’s being led away in handcuffs.

Ti ékanes?

I move closer to the TV. Breaking news scrolls across the bottom of the screen.

“Maison D’amour, one of the French Quarter’s oldest dwellings, had a deadly fire early this morning. At this time, we know of two casualties, which cannot be disclosed at this time. Long suspected of prostitution activity, the spa has been under investigation for months. Four employees were arrested this morning and are awaiting sentencing for bail; another employee is still in critical condition. Sources are unsure of where the fire originated. If you have any information concerning this, please call our hotline…”

The news moves on to something else, while I sit with my head in my hands. All this time and she’s been so close. Without thinking it through, I gather my ID and the cash I keep under my mattress, and go down to the police station. I know a few of the cops, having come here before to bail people out. I wait around until I see Rudy and I tell him what I want to do.

He raises one eyebrow when I describe her, smacks his gum, and gives me a cheesy grin.

“Didn’t know you were into that sorta thing, big guy,” he says.

I cross my arms over my chest and give him the stare-down.

“Sorry, man.” He lifts both hands in the air and shakes his head. “We been after these girls a long time. Come back tomorrow. Her arraignment is in the morning.”

* * *

The next morning I’m at the station a few minutes before the time Rudy recommended.

He grins when he spots me. “You’re serious about this one, I see.”

My jaw clenches and I don’t say anything.

“Thousand dollars bail. You got it?”

I nod.

Then I sit and wait and nearly walk out the door a dozen times. I think of all I want to say to her, but none of it seems important when I actually see her.

She walks out, her hips swaying and the curve of her body drawing the attention of every male in the building, including mine. She comes to an abrupt stop when she sees me. Her stare is unnerving, but I am determined not to blink first.

Rudy directs his thumb my way, still grinning. “Mr. Toes here has so willingly covered your bail.” He looks back and forth between us. “You two make a fine lookin’ couple.”

I want to plant my fist in his jaw, but instead, I put my hand near her elbow where it hovers awkwardly in the air around her.

“Are you done, Rudy? Is she free to go?”

“Sign this right here and you’re free to go.” He places a paper on the countertop and points to the pen beside it.

She signs her name: Lilith Fontenot. Lilith. It doesn’t fit.

When we finally step outside and brace ourselves against the wall of humidity, I chance another look at her. She stops walking just outside the building.

“I don’t know why you did that—Mr. Soti Toes? But thank you.”

“You remember. Soti Christos. Rudy thinks he’s funny.”

“Ah, well … thank you.” Her eyes are wary and she looks exhausted.

“I heard about the fire on the news and recognized you. Thought you might need a place to go. There’s an open apartment at the place I was trying to tell you about, not too far from here. It’s yours if you want it.”

She looks around and I wonder if she’s looking for someone or just avoiding me. When her eyes finally light on mine, I falter. Those eyes. I could so easily drown in her.

Her gaze travels past my shoulder and suddenly her body goes completely still.

“Are you okay?” I turn around to see what caught her attention, but the street is full of people. I don’t see anything unusual.

Her hand on my arm makes me turn back to her quickly, my heart skipping all over itself.

“I need to get out of here,” she says quickly. Her eyes are frantic. “Now.”

I put a hand on her back and one behind her thighs and pick her up. She yelps, but then buries her head in my neck as I run. When we reach the gate a few blocks later, I slow to a walk and set her down, feeling like such a brute.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t think, just ran.” I look at her feet. Even her toes are pretty. “Didn’t jostle you too much, did I?”

“What are you? You’re not even out of breath.” She says it like it amuses her, but her eyes are chilly.

I apologize again.

“No need to apologize … you got me here. Thank you.”

I nod, trying not to stare at her fantastic legs—they’re endless. I want to wrap them around my back and say fuck off to my conscience.

The basketball game out front stops when they see her. JT’s mouth hangs open and I whistle, making him jump. I motion for them to continue playing. Still in a stupor, JT tosses the basketball to another guy and they slowly start moving again.

“They’re harmless,” I tell her. “I know all of them really well, and they’ll stay out of your way while you’re here. The apartment’s on the top floor. Would you like to see it?”

The sound of the basketball and tennis shoes on the asphalt underlines her silence. Finally, she folds her arms over her chest. It takes everything in me to look away.

“Seems like a nice place.” She takes a breath and puts a hand on her hip. “I don’t want to sound unappreciative of all your help. I am. But let me make it clear: I don’t trust anyone. And I’m not sure why I keep turning around and finding you lurking. I don’t have time for a stalker.” Her voice has gone glacial.

I open my mouth to speak and she holds her hand up.

“I’m glad to be out of jail. I need a place for the night, to regroup, and then I’ll be on my way. But, if there’s a knife in the building I will find it, and I don’t care how you helped me today, I won’t be afraid to slice you open if you try anything.”

It doesn’t help matters when I snort. Her eyes narrow on me and nail me to the sidewalk.

“Jeez. You’re a little uptight,” I say softly.

Her eyes become even tinier slits. I clear my throat.

“Which is completely understandable,” I add. I tuck my chin and look at her. “I tell you what … when we get upstairs, I will give you my knife. It’s yours. If you like the place, stay. If not, I can help you find something else. You can even take the knife with you.”

She lifts her head in acknowledgment.

“I can introduce you to everyone later.”

She nods again.

I lead her upstairs the back way, narrowly escaping Miss Jez and Miss Christine. I stop by my apartment and get the huge ring of keys that opens every door in the building. She looks around.

“Not much to see,” I say.

“It’s not bad.”

“You can stay here tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch in the lounge area. The empty apartment is next door. I can find furniture for you in a day or two if you want to stay there.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t belong here, Soti. You know that.” Her hands are the only indicator of any nervousness. Otherwise, she looks completely disengaged in this conversation.

“Of course, you do.” I attempt nonchalance. “You belong as much as the rest of us,” I add. “At least stay until your hearing.”

“Don’t push it,” she says.

“Right.” I put my hands on my waist.

“You don’t have to stay out there … as long as you were serious about that knife.” Her eyebrow lifts, daring me to back down.

“You’re safe with me, Lili.”

I swear her eyes soften. I blink and then think I imagined the whole thing.

I show her where everything is kept. I feel like a game show host, except the prizes she could win are pitiful. I put every cent into food and the community center, and it shows in my crappy little apartment. Everything in here is battered.

Lili’s clothes scream money. I’m glad I’ve never gone inside Maison D’amour to see the grandeur she’s accustomed to—knowing her profession is already doing a number with my testes.

When I bend down and come back up with a large knife, she gulps. I set it on the counter.

“Yours now. Do with it as you wish.” I smile. She doesn’t. “I have to go get ready for the dinner rush. You’re welcome to come down and grab food or help … or whatever…” I trail off.

She seems to be done talking for the day.

“If I don’t see you down there, I’ll bring a plate back for you. Make yourself at home. Sorry there’s nothing more exciting here.” I laugh, but it sounds lame, so I quickly shut up.

I put my hands on the ceiling and her eyes drop down, making me aware of my stomach hanging in the breeze. My arms drop, along with the bottom of my shirt, and her eyes come back to mine.

I tell her the quickest way to get to the kitchen downstairs and get out of there before I can further embarrass myself.

* * *

I keep the details to a bare minimum with both JT and Miss Jez: I need to help a friend. Since JT has seen her, he has more to say about it.

“She is the hottest thing I have ever seen,” he says, popping me on the back.

I pop him back. “She’s not a thing.”

“You know what I’m sayin’ though, right? I mean, I’m just sayin’. Right?”

Every single tooth shows with his obnoxious smile and I pop him again, this time on the head.

“Keep the guys in line while she’s here. You included. Understand?”

His eyebrows crease and his lips poke out. “You know I will,” his voice getting higher at the end. He shakes his head at me. “Never thought I’d see the day you got defensive about a girl. Shoot. Ain’t nobody gonna mind if you have a girlfriend, Soti,” he says.

“She’s not my girlfriend. We need to keep her a non-topic around the neighborhood, okay?”

“Kinda hard to keep a piece like that quiet.” He grins and jumps out of the way so I can’t smack him.

“You call her a thing or piece again and I’ll nail your ass to the wall, sure as you’re breathing. I’m as serious as I’ve ever been, JT. I need your help protecting her. I don’t know what all she’s mixed up in. Got it?”

He grabs the back of my neck, completely serious. “Hey, I got you. No worries, preacher man. Okay? I got you.”

I growl at him every time he calls me that and he smirks, making a quick getaway before I can clobber him.

* * *

“She never came down.” Miss Jez points to the plate on the counter. “Take it to her while it’s still hot.”

“Thanks. Anything left for me?” I lift both eyebrows and bare my teeth.

“Son, you crazy.” She makes a clucking noise with her tongue. “You think I didn’t see you eatin’ earlier? Always tryin’ to sneak somethin’ past Miss Jezebel.” She shakes her head. “There’s another plate for you in the fridge. Had a feelin’ you’d be pullin’ somethin’ like that.”

She pulls her apron off faster than I can blink and swats me in the backside with it. I leap around the kitchen, hands flying.

She laughs so hard she wheezes. And keeps zinging me with the apron.

“Miss Jez! You’re breakin’ my heart!” I yell.

When she gets close enough, I grab her arm and pull her in, forcing a hug. About as tall as she is wide, her head barely reaches my waist. She grumbles, but she’s wiping her eyes and patting me.

A pan clatters to the floor and our laughter comes to an abrupt stop. Lili bends down and picks the pan up.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Her cheeks flush.

She looks at Miss Jez with a sweet smile, one I haven’t seen from her yet. As soon as she looks at me, the smile drops.

Miss Jez straightens to her full height and walks over to Lili. “Hello there. I see Soti conveniently left out how pretty you was. Ti-ninecy, though! We can fix that up in no time, don’t you worry!”

Lili looks at me. “She means you’re tiny,” I interpret. Miss Jez has her own vocabulary. Lili still looks confused, probably because she towers over Miss Jez almost as much as I do. “Skinny,” I clarify.

“I am jealous of those legs on you.” Miss Jez smiles. “But we’ll haveta get some meat on those bones.” She gives me her sternest look and then it is all back to sweetness with Lili. “As you can see, we need another woman ’round here to keep this boy in line.” Her shoulders bounce. “Trouble through and through.”

“Damn, Miss Jez, you’re giving away all my secrets on the first night,” I say.

She gives me another baleful glance and turns back, smiling at Lili.

“Trouble,” she whispers.

And then it is so soft, I think I’ve imagined it: Lili giggles. It’s over before it fully begins, but that happy, little sound makes me feel ten feet tall. I’ll gladly be the scapegoat for the two of them if it makes her laugh.

Miss Jez beams and pats Lili’s arm. “We gonna get along jes’ fine.”

* * *

The dream starts the same way every time. This time I try to pull myself out of the dream, but the images keep coming and I drift further into it.

I’m itching for a hit and my insides are crawling. Instead of using what I had left, I just sold it. I’ve been too preoccupied with where I’m going to sleep and where I’ll find my next fix, but tonight when I see a beautiful girl leaning against the wall looking available, I set my shyness aside and walk over to her. For someone who’s been on the streets a while, I’m a couple years late on losing my virginity. Seeing her makes it all too clear that it’s time.

She seems almost as shy as I am. I don’t know if it’s real or an act, but I like it.

“You’re beautiful,” I tell her.

She tucks her head but her eyes stay on me. She looks my age, but I can’t be sure.

“How old are you? Are you eighteen?” I ask.

Her eyes flit to the side and she nods. I’m not sure I should believe her.

“Would you like to go somewhere?” she asks quietly.

“I’d follow you anywhere,” I say.

Her eyes widen and she leans up to whisper her rates in my ear. It tickles and I’m nodding before she finishes. I take her hand and she leads us to a small room over what looks like an old carriage house in the Quarter. I lay the money on the dresser and she undresses. I might be imagining it, but it looks like her hand is shaking. I can’t take my eyes off of her perfect body—she takes my breath away. It all happens quickly after that.

I wanted it to be good for her. I wanted to have another chance so I could take care of her better, but right before I pull out of her, I see the tears falling down her cheeks.

“Did I hurt you?” I ask, panicking. I move off of her and touch her face.

She shakes her head and gets up, hurriedly putting on her clothes. It sounds like she says she’s sorry.

“What? No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I’m new to this,” I ramble. “Stop, talk to me, please.”

It’s like she doesn’t hear a word I say. She grabs the money and rushes out the door.

I wake up and feel the same disgust with myself as I did back then.