Chapter Sixteen

Alex Drake stared at his laptop but saw nothing. He was in a foul mood, had been since the night of the networking event. The night Lila had told him it was over between them. He hadn't expected those words to hurt so badly. Hadn't expected the hurt to last. But now, a week after that night, her words made him feel as bad as when she'd said them, tears sparkling in her beautiful hazel eyes.

Since ending things with Lila, his heart had felt like a stone in his chest. It was a thousand times worse than breaking up with Alana. And that was telling. All he'd felt after ending his engagement with Alana was relief. Relief and rage.

In true woman scorned fashion, Alana had leaked a photo from the video of him and Lila making love. Making love? he asked himself. Was that what it was? At the time it had felt like fucking. Intense, powerful fucking. But now he wondered.

Alex had sicked his team of lawyers on his ex so fast, he hoped her well-coiffed head was spinning. His only gratitude had been at her greed, since she'd been holding out on the full video until it was paid for by the highest bidder. And he'd caught her before she'd been able to sell.

Alana had finally agreed to destroy the video and all of its copies, after he consented to allow her to keep the engagement ring, and they reached an "amicable settlement," as the lawyers had phrased it. He'd paid through the nose to keep her silence and to protect Lila. But it seemed the damage was already done.

Alex had hurried to Lila's house after he'd made sure that the video would never come back to haunt them. He'd wanted to apologize, to explain how awful he felt, to tell her that he'd broken off things with Alana.

He was halfway to telling her he'd do anything to get her back.

But Lila's house was empty.

Alex had sat in his car, staring at the dark house and the Gourmet on the Go sign, and had considered the issue. Lila had obviously fled, and he couldn't blame her. A few of the websites had mentioned her by name, as well as the name of her business. He'd promised expensive lawsuits to any site that didn't immediately take the photo down and bury the story. A few threats and several costly payouts later, and no trace remained of their illicit tryst. But the public's memory was not so easily wiped.

A few days after the story had broken, he'd attended a business function. The room was filled with his associates, men as hungry for power and money as he himself had been. And he couldn't miss the smirks some of these men were throwing his way. He caught a few knowing nods, saw a few whispers in ears and chuckles.

Alex was in a position of wealth and power, and even though he doubted that his actions would affect his business interests in any meaningful way, it was clear that they had definitely had an impact on his image.

Here was what he'd always feared. Being exposed before his peers, shown to be an ignorant, misguided peasant, ruled by his hillbilly emotions. He'd stepped out of line, had let his private affairs become grist for the mill of media attention, and he would suffer.

Still, the suffering he felt at the looks from his colleagues in no way approached the massive pain in his chest at the thought of losing Lila. And yet, as he sat in his car, watching the sun set behind the roof of her little house, he came to a realization.

As cool as his associates could be to him, they would be ten times crueler to his cupcake. Outsiders were to be scorned, especially ones with no cache of authority nor deep pockets. If he did track her down, find her, go to her, beg her to come back to him, they could expect an even bigger reaction from the ones he'd tried so hard to fit in with.

The ones he'd considered marrying a backstabbing supermodel to impress.

He couldn't expose Lila to that kind of pain. They'd consider her lower class, the hired help. Alex would be mocked, as if he'd had an affair with the maid or sired a child with the nanny. They would never let her fit in, regardless of his status. Would they?

Now he sat in his office and stared at the computer screen, wishing he could get her out of his mind. Wishing he could go back to before he'd met her, when things had been going along according to plan.

No, he told himself. Not true. If he could go back, he'd never have found out what a bitch Alana was until it was too late.

Even worse, he'd never have gotten to know Lila. Would have never held her in his arms. Never kissed her lips. Never been inside of her blazing heat. No, he wouldn't trade the memories of her for anything, not a pile of money, not the respect of his peers. Nothing.

His intercom buzzed, but before he could press the button, his office door swung open. And for the first time in days, a smile lit his face.

Janna Masterson stood just inside the door, his receptionist right behind her.

"I'm sorry," the receptionist said with a frown. "She insisted."

"It's fine," he said, waving his employee away. "Let her in."
Janna walked a few paces forward and the receptionist stepped out, shutting the door behind her.

"You sonofabitch!"

Alex shook his head. Count on Janna to pull no punches.

"Janna, how nice to see you. Did you enjoy the honeymoon?"

"Don't give me any of that shit, Drake. What did you do to her?"

Alex sighed. It was evident what she was talking about. "I take it the honeymoon wasn't good, then?"

Janna frowned, then sat at a chair across the desk from him. "The honeymoon was fantastic. I almost convinced Brice to stay for another month, but there was some deal with a famous chef that needed his personal attention. Speaking of great cooks, what the fuck happened with Lila?"

Alex leaned back in his chair. "You look good." She did. Her red ringlets were arranged around her face like a halo of curls. Bronzed by the sun, Janna looked untroubled, happy. Except for the scowl, of course.

Janna sat there saying nothing, her blue eyes burning into him.

"Don't worry," he said at last. "It's over."

"Don't worry?" Here comes the explosion. "I saw the pictures. Both of them. You knocking out some other yuppie type, and then...on the kitchen table."

Alex closed his eyes and considered putting his head down on the desk. Janna was nothing if not tenacious.

"It was a mistake. One that has been rectified."

"You sure?" Janna's face softened, a wrinkle of worry taking up residence on her forehead. "You look like shit."

Alex smiled. He knew what he looked like. He'd seen the dark circles under his eyes in the mirror every morning. Foregoing shaving this morning, hating to look into his own face for longer than necessary, he sat at his desk, dark stubble on his chin and jaw, no jacket, no fucking tie. To say Janna was correct was an understatement. And she forgot to add that he felt like shit too.

"What happened?" Her tone was gentle, her eyes concerned. Damn her for being such a good friend.

"I fucked up." Alex ran a hand through his hair and stared down at his desk. "We met. Sparks flew. I couldn't help myself." He let out a long breath. "Neither could she."

"I didn't think Lila was the type to...be intimate...with an engaged man."

"She didn't know. At least not a first. And after she found out, it was too late. I honestly didn't expect any of this to happen."

Janna stared hard at him. "You did it on camera."

He scowled. "That wasn't my fault. You can thank Alana for that."

"Alana?" Janna looked surprised. "She knew about you guys?"

"She had her suspicions. Hired some asshole private investigator to stake out Lila's house. Then she leaked the picture after I found out and broke the engagement."

Janna shook her head. "Wow. You really did fuck up."

Alex groaned. "Tell me about it."

"What are you gonna do?"

"What can I do?" His mouth flattened into a thin line, his jaw hardening. "It's over."

"So that's it? Lila meant nothing to you? A quick fling that ruined your dream of a marriage of convenience?"

"That's bullshit!" Alex didn't like her accusing tone. Perhaps because it hit too close to the truth. Or at least what seemed like the truth.

The scowl reclaimed Janna's face. "Then you tell me. Because what it seems like is that you've ruined any chance Lila had of building her business here. She's been run out of town, her name dragged through the mud, and here you sit, oblivious."

"What do you expect me to do? Don't you think I would give anything to fix this mess? I'd send her money, but she'd never take it. And any attempt I'd make to promote her business would seem farcical to the public. Besides, she wouldn't let me."

Alex dropped his head into his hands in defeat. The same thoughts had been torturing his mind for days, and it sucked to have to admit them to someone else. He'd royally fucked up, and there was no getting out of it.

"Sounds like you're giving up."

He looked at Janna, his face surely showing the exhaustion he felt. "Like you said, she's left town. I don't think she'd appreciate it if I followed."

Janna blinked at him. "How do you know?"

Alex gave a mirthless chuckle. "Trust me, I know. It's better this way."

"Better for who?" Janna crossed her arms over her chest. "You certainly look miserable."

"I am miserable." His face tightened in pain.

"Then how is this better? Why don't you--"

"To what end?" His interruption left her jaw hanging open. "You know the drill. I've got to fit in with a certain group of people. I have to follow their rules. And there's no room for a woman like Lila."

"Why?" Her confused look said her question was genuine.

Alex leaned back in his chair and folded his fingers together. "Did Brice ever tell you about our...competition in college?"

Janna sighed and crossed her legs. "He mentioned you stealing his girlfriends. You know that."

"But he never told you why?"

She shook her head.

Alex let out a heavy breath. "We were in the same fraternity. Brice was a year ahead of me. Your stereotypical big man on campus. Even back east at our prestigious university where trust funds were as ubiquitous as free contraception, Brice Masterson stood out."
His mind turned back to the past. "Your husband hated me as soon as I tried out for the archery team. I hit the most bullseyes in a single session than anyone before me, shattering the former record set by Brice. Then, when I rushed the same frat he was in, he and his buddies singled me out from the other pledges and made my life hell."

Alex couldn't forget all the petty slights and ridiculous duties those bastards had set for him. But none of it had bothered him until Brice had kept him up the night before the big tournament, scrubbing the whole bottom floor of the frat house with a bottle brush. Alex had supposedly earned the punishment for a minor rule infraction -- being late to a house meeting. Too bad his frat brothers didn't take into account the long hours he had to work off campus. He'd gotten only an hour of sleep before he was up again, rushing to the tournament. But the damage was done. His concentration was gone, and he couldn't hit shit.

"During an archery tournament, my game was off and Brice mocked me mercilessly, even going so far as to suggest to the coach that I be dropped from the team. I immediately sought revenge and snuck off with his bow, loosening the bolts on his bowstring. When his turn came up, he didn't recheck his bow and let loose. The arrow flew wild, hitting a tree not far from the coach's head. He almost kicked Brice off the team instead."
Janna's eyes widened, then she shook her head. "I don't understand what this has to do with Lila."

Alex frowned. "I'm getting to that. After that tournament, Brice and his cronies increased their torments. But the worst of it was the new member kegger. I brought a girl I liked, a girl a little smaller than Lila, to the party. And Brice's two closest friends teased her mercilessly while the crowd looked on and laughed. It took several brothers to pull me off of one of them, and they brought me up before the council, deciding on whether or not to kick me out of the frat."

He still remembered that night, standing in front of the council, his blood on fire, his face flushed with anger, but his fear at losing his chance of remaining in the most prestigious frat on campus was warring with his rage. Brice had stared hard at him, and Alex had known what he was thinking. Here was his chance to rid himself of an annoyance. And yet, Brice hadn't.

"Your husband cast the deciding vote to keep me in. And for some reason, that just made me feel worse. I hated Masterson then and swore revenge."

"But why?" Janna's voice interrupted his reverie.

Alex's brow furrowed. His recitation of the past was making him view things from a new angle, an angle that he wasn't proud of. "I resented him. The teasing at the kegger, it pissed me off. But the fear I felt at being kicked out of the frat, at being cast out of the group I knew would help further my ambition, it was bigger than my anger. I had to be accepted by these people, and that meant making a lot of changes. Brice represented everything I wanted to achieve. He knew the rules. Hell, he made them, evidenced by his decision to keep me in the frat."

Janna nodded as if she understood. Hell, he barely understood it himself.

His voice was rough as he continued. "That's when I decided to play dirty. If I needed a hot sorority chick to fit in, then fuck it, I'd steal theirs. Brice's girlfriend was my first. I didn't realize how serious he was about her until I'd already convinced her to break it off with him and go out with me." He gave Janna a smile. "Still, he should be thanking me for taking her off his hands. She was a heartless bitch."

Janna's lips twitched. "Brice seemed to have a penchant for heartless bitches in the old days."

Alex grinned. "A habit you must have broken."

"Damn straight." Janna's expression turned serious. "But I still don't understand what this has to do with Lila."

"Can't you see?" Alex thought it was painfully obvious. "Things haven't changed since college. I still need that bit of eye candy on my arm to fit in."

Janna's head shook, her red curls bouncing around her shoulders. "That's nonsense."

"Is it?" His voice became hard. "You should see the looks I've been getting from my colleagues. I won't expose Lila to that kind of derision."

"You can't be serious."

Her incredulity pissed him off. "Fuck yes, I'm serious. You don't know what these people are like."

"You're wrong." Janna leaned in to stare him down. "I swim with the same sharks now, remember? You're the one who showed me how. You showed me all the dirty secrets they keep in their closets. How is this any different?"

"Lila's not a secret."

Janna nodded. "That's for sure. The poor girl's name's been spread all over the press."

"Exactly." It hurt to think how his actions might have caused Lila pain. "Even if that hadn't happened, I couldn't keep her a secret. I wouldn't."

His friend's blue eyes were bright. "There's one thing you haven't realized yet."

Alex scowled. "And what is that?"

Janna smiled and leaned back. "You're the one who's chosen to swim with sharks."

Alex blew out another breath. "You don't get it."

"Sure I do. You said it yourself. People like Brice make the rules. So be like Brice. Change the rules of the game."

Janna stood up and straightened her dress. "Stop moping around and acting like a martyr. Get off your supermodel cross and get back the girl who means something to you. You remember how scared I was when I dipped a toe into Brice's world. Into your world. But I realized pretty quickly that none of that high society shit mattered. Only Brice mattered. If you feel even an inkling for Lila of what I feel for Brice, then go after her."

Alex stared up at her. His friend. His brilliant and beautiful friend. "Thanks for the advice, Janna-Banana. I hope your husband knows how lucky he is to have you."

"You know he does." She laughed. "In fact, he was all set to come down here today because he saw how upset I was after finding out about you two. You're lucky I talked him out of it."

Alex nodded. Brice's devotion to Janna was legendary, and it was easy to see why. Masterson would do anything to protect his woman. Suddenly he realized that he'd been doing much the same with Lila, but as Janna has pointed out, his attempts were misguided. Instead of saving them suffering, he'd made things worse for both of them.

Alex rose and gave Janna a hug. "Don't tell Brice we did this," he whispered into her ear during their embrace, and they both laughed. "I don't want to find an arrow in my back."

"You better make things right with Lila, or I'll shoot you myself."

Alex grinned, then his expression grew serious as he considered her words. How could he make things right with Lila? A direct assault would just aggravate her. He doubted he could get near her without her freaking out and running away. No, it would have to be a stealth mission. Get her somewhere unfamiliar, never giving himself away until he could blindside her, have her at his mercy.

And he thought he had an idea of how to do that.

"Hey Janna," he said. She turned at the door, her expression inquisitive. "Tell Brice I need a favor. Do you think he'd let me borrow that assistant of his?"