Chapter Twenty-Three

His expression had to be incredulous.

"We should go," Alex countered, his voice low and husky. "Upstairs to bed."
Lila shook her head. "It's getting late and the others will be back soon."

He let out a frustrated burst of air. "It's not that late. And who cares if they come back soon? We'll be upstairs, snugly tucked into your bed, doing things I've been dreaming of doing for weeks now."

"It's a small town," she replied, walking out of his arms and taking a few steps away. "I don't want word to get out about...this." She raised her hand, sweeping it back and forth between them.

"I've already told some people. My sisters know, and Tony and Jake, of course. Mrs. Wheaton too."

Her frown made his jaw clench. It was like he could feel her retreating from him, physically and emotionally. What he didn't understand was why. "Come on, cupcake," he said, almost flinching at the wheedling tone in his voice. "I don't want the night to end yet."

"Everything ends," she said with a small shrug, her golden eyes avoiding his gaze. "It's been a long day, and I'm tired."

Tired was definitely not what he felt. He felt recharged, rejuvenated, at the cusp of gaining the thing he wanted most. The thing he hadn't even realized had become so important to him.

Alex bit back another request to stay, knowing it would come too close to begging. Desperation was never an attractive trait. In business, the stink of desperation always led to losses, and Lila was too big a prize to risk.

He started toward the rooming house door, relieved that she followed him so that he could take her in his arms once more before his exit. She was stiff in his embrace, so he tucked her head against his chest, pressing a kiss to her dark hair and inhaling her sweet scent.

"Goodnight," he murmured, then let her go. Even though he didn't want to.

Even though he wanted to drag her upstairs and force her to admit that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her, to prove to her that everything didn't have to end.

Instead he went out the door and down the short walk to where his car was parked on the empty street.

It was a maudlin drive back to his sister's house. At least it was short.

He parked the rental and jogged up the steps to the front porch. The door was unlocked so he entered the dark house. One benefit of small town living, no need for keys and expensive security systems.

Alex wandered through the house, flipping on a table lamp in the living room so his sister would find her way in safely. Then he headed back to the spare room and its empty bed.

The small bedside lamp cast the room in a warm glow but it didn't relieve the chill inside him. He pulled off his clothing and climbed into bed, even though he felt as if he'd never sleep. There was no way to turn off his mind, no way to stop thinking about Lila and their latest interlude.

It had been like coming home in more ways than one. And the end had been as unsatisfactory as his own departure from Trouble Hollow years before. For most of his childhood he'd thought only of getting out, and now that he was back, he'd felt a strange peace descend, a feeling of rightness that he'd almost forgotten. How much of it was the town, was reconnecting with people he hadn't realized he'd missed, and how much was his reunion with Lila he didn't know. But as he lay in bed, staring up at the dim ceiling, he knew that things had changed in a way that was as undeniable as it was unexplainable.

He still didn't understand why Lila had rushed him out. She hadn't seemed to want anyone else to know about their liaison. But why? He'd set this whole thing up for her, at least that was how things had started out. Yet as he'd spun his plans, he'd allowed memories from the town, from his childhood, good memories, to surface for the first time in years. Those memories had prompted him to write a check to the town, to give back.

Still, as well as the night had gone, it hadn't fit his wishes exactly. Alex had been expecting some backlash from his manipulations, had known he'd have to deal with Lila's anger. But she hadn't seemed upset for long, and he'd let himself hope that the past could be put behind them. They'd be able to walk into the future, whatever it held, together.

But she'd turned him away. After another mind-bending lovemaking session. Dammit, I shouldn't have let her distract me on the stairs. I should have taken her up to bed and refused to leave it, refused to let her leave it until we were both so exhausted from making love that neither of us could get up if we wanted to.

She'd been irresistible, on fire, her little whimpers a siren song that called him to his doom. Or redemption. In the moment he'd been so sure they'd have all night that he hadn't worried about slaking their lust on the rooming house stairs. Wrong again.

What had made her push him away, after? A jolt of fear went through him at the thought that Lila wasn't in as deep as he was. Maybe her heart wasn't involved, maybe it was just her libido that he aroused. The idea left an unwelcome taste in his mouth. For years he'd had relationships in which his deeper emotions had never been touched. The thought that Lila was as impersonal as he had been was nausea-inducing.

But it didn't feel like that, not when he held her, not when he looked into her bright hazel eyes and saw her looking back at him, opening herself to him in ways she'd never done with anyone else.

Except one.

Alex grimaced. Her high school crush had certainly done a number on her. To think that idiot Damien scoffed at such a remarkable gift, that he'd forced her to hide a whole portion of herself from the world, was infuriating. And in that moment, revealing.

He thought back on their encounters, how each had ended suddenly after sex, how she'd become stiff and unyielding. Perhaps there was a clue there. It sounded like whatever had happened with Damien hadn't ended well. In fact, he'd humiliated her afterwards. Maybe that was part of the issue. She'd never had someone stay over, never spent the night in bed with another person, curled up beside someone, sharing their breaths.

Alex heard the sound of gravel crunching and then a car door being closed. He climbed out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. Then he padded down the hallway. The light in the living room was now joined by a glow from the kitchen.

His sister Darlene stood at the refrigerator, bending down to place a foil-wrapped packet inside. She turned when she closed the fridge, giving her brother a smile. "I was lucky to get any leftovers. It was slim pickins, I gotta say. Your lady cooks a mean supper."
Alex nodded. It was definitely true. At least the cooking part. "I wouldn't exactly call her my lady."

"Trouble in paradise?" she asked with a chuckle in her voice. "After you planned all this for her? What went wrong? I noticed ya'll left and didn't come back, so I figured it must have went well."

Alex took a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "It did. At first."

Darlene came forward, leaning her elbows on the counter and resting her chin on the palms of her hands. "And then?"

He blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. "I dunno. She's still hesitant."

His sister's burst of laughter echoed in the confines of the small kitchen. "Cain't say I blame her. I know what an asshole you can be."

"Thanks," he mumbled, giving her a wry grin.

"Just statin' facts." Darlene watched him, her smile leveling out as she studied him. "She really got to ya, eh?"

"Yep."

"It's not her fault that she's skittish. I seen that stuff about you in the news. Cain't be easy for any lady to be spread all over the press like that. And while you was engaged to another woman, too."

Alex groaned. "No need to remind me." His sister lowered her brows, and he was reminded of when she was younger and about to go on a tirade. He held up his hands. "I don't need a lecture, Darlene. What I need is an idea of how to get her to trust me, to take another chance."

"Now ain't that somethin'. Big brother comin' to me for advice." She ignored his eye roll and scratched her head as if in thought. "I'd say, if ya want her to trust you, ya gotta give her a reason."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know you dragged her down here for this big surprise thing, but have you really opened up to her? Shown her anything besides the inside of the Grange Hall kitchen? Given anything of yerself for real?"

Alex shook his head, not quite understanding. His sister let out a frustrated groan. "You told me that she didn't even know you was engaged when ya'll got together. How ya gonna build trust when you started everything off with a lie? Then you trick her down here, her probably hopin' this was gonna be some great new business opportunity, but it was just you again, throwin' yer weight around, giving her no say in things."
Good point.

"Then how do I get her to trust me?"

Darlene shrugged. "Start over again. Honestly. Show her the truth about you. And then let her make up her own mind."

Alex let his head fall forward, chin to his chest. "What if she decides she doesn't want me?"

Darlene laughed. "Shit, then she's a smarter woman than I woulda figured." She came around the breakfast bar, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're a great guy," she said softly. "There's no way she can miss that, even if you're apparently a perpetual fuck-up when it comes to her."

"That's putting it lightly." He swiveled around and leaned in, planting a kiss on his sister's cheek. "When did you get so smart, little sis?"

"When I figured out what I wanted out of life."

Alex looked his little sister up and down. She wasn't so little anymore. Darlene had responsibilities of her own, running her fabric store. He'd given her the seed money she'd needed to start the shop, but she'd made it into a viable business on her own, and even repaid his initial investment. His little sister was the Hollow's equivalent of a tycoon, and he was proud of her.

What's more, her words made sense. Alex could see how content she looked, how happy. He wanted the same happiness for himself.

He kissed his little sister on the forehead and returned to his room. This time, when he'd slid between the covers and turned off the lamp, he knew what he had to do.

Alex Drake fell asleep with a determined smile on his face.