Chapter 10

Dani looked into his face and saw pain living there. "I'm sorry." It was obvious their deaths still affected him. She was sorry to have started down this road.

She didn't want to hurt him. She missed the light-heartedness of a few moments ago but realized she wanted to know all about the ranger now that he'd opened himself up. No more shutters blocking the emotion in his eyes.

Still, she wouldn't pressure him. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she said, but he ignored her words.

"One night, I think I was twelve at the time, and I was playing with a set of mismatched building blocks behind the couch while the folks tied one on. It didn't take long for the yelling to start, and I could tell my mother was spoiling for it just from her tone of voice. Brittle like ornament glass, her voice was. She started egging my father on, telling him what a waste of skin he was, telling him that we'd be better off without him."

"He just sat there for a while, taking what she was dishing out. It was nothing new; we'd both heard it all before. But Mom didn't like that she wasn't getting a rise out of him, so she had to twist the screws a little tighter."

Dani didn't like the look on his face, his features full of anguish. She wished she could stop him before the climax of his terrible tale, but it seemed he needed to get it all out.

"Mom started taunting him with other men. She told him old Sam behind the liquor store counter had propositioned her, and that she had considered taking him up on the offer. Well, that got my dad's attention and earned her a slap across the face."

"Funny thing is, she just laughed at my father. It was like she wanted him to hit her. She wouldn't shut up after that, having found the one button she could push to get his attention. She started telling him about the bartender at the local watering hole, about how good his ass looked in his tight jeans, and about how one night after my dad had passed out, she'd gone down to the bar after closing time and hooked up with the bartender."

"My father just sat there, quiet, and I remember I stopped trying to build anything and listened. I knew that Mom was in for it, but she just wouldn't stop, and I was too scared to move. She started telling him all these filthy details about what the bartender had done to her, how he'd felt her up and squeezed her butt through her denim skirt. She told him how she'd pulled off her shirt and wasn't wearing a bra, and how he'd sucked her tits while she sat on a barstool and wrapped her legs around his waist. Then she told him that the guy had fucked her on the bar and had made her come like he never did."

Dani was repulsed by the story, alarmed that a wife would say such things to her husband, and disgusted that a mother was willing to say such things in front of her son.

Caleb's face was like stone, a mask of pain, and she tightened her grip on his arm, bending in to rest her head on his shoulder. "I don't even know if it was true or if she was just trying to piss the old man off, but that was about all my dad could take. Suddenly, my mom's words cut off, and I heard a sharp bark. I leapt up from behind the couch and saw my dad standing in front of my mom, his hands wrapped around her neck. He was squeezing so tight her face was bright red."

His voice was flat, but the agony in his eyes made Dani's insides contract. "I jumped over the back of the couch and started shoving him, trying to get him to release her, but he kicked me in my chest. I fell down, the wind knocked out of me, unable to move as he tightened his grip around her neck until her lips turned blue. Finally, her eyes closed and she lost consciousness, but he kept squeezing. And the strangest thing was her face. She just wore this great big smile the whole time."

"At last my father released her and she fell to the floor. By now I was sobbing, balled up in a corner. I didn't know what to do, didn't think there was anything I could do. My dad just looked down at me for a few minutes, then walked to an old desk across the room. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a gun. Without looking back, he put it to his head and pulled the trigger."

Dani gasped, unable to believe the trauma that this poor child had experienced at the hands of the very people who were supposed to love and care for him. She wasn't surprised to see a tear slide from his eye and roll down his cheek. He dashed it away with the back of his hand and cursed quietly, then took another long pull on the scotch. She watched as the liquid drained from the bottle until there was nothing left.

"After their deaths, I moved in with my aunt. She was older, already set in her routines. Church on Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. Other days she spent quilting or visiting with her neighbors. We mostly ignored each other."

His stare was distant. "Her property bordered a state forest, and I spent a lot of time hiding there. If she couldn't find me, she couldn't drag me to church. She gave up after a month or so of trying, but I kept going to the forest. It was quiet. Peaceful. It soothed some of the twisted feelings I had inside me. Anger at my parents. Confusion over what they'd done. Loneliness. So much fucking loneliness, so sharp sometimes, like a million tiny slivers piercing under my skin. The forest helped. It centered me. Helped me accept the pain.”

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Well, are you happy?" he asked, his lips twisting into a grim grin. "You now know my dirty secrets. You know why I hide myself away in these woods. Why I can't have a relationship."

"What?" She was confused.

"How could I ever get close to someone, knowing that the same violence was in my blood? Knowing that at any moment I could snap and hurt someone? Better to stay away. How could I risk it?"

"No," she groaned, somehow sadder now. She'd hadn't known him for long, but this was something she felt an absolute certainty about. He might seem like an asshole, but he wasn't a violent one. "That's not true! You aren't your parents. You don't need to hide yourself away. You would never hurt someone you cared about."

"How do you know?" he asked suddenly, turning to grasp her arms in his large hands. "How could you know?"

Dani searched his eyes, which for the first time were not cold. No, they seemed lit by inner fires, fires that ignited echoing flames in her own belly.

"I just know," she said, climbing up on her knees so that she could be on his eye level. She put her hands on either side of his face and looked deeply into his blue eyes. "You're a good man, Caleb, a kind man, and you could never hurt anyone. You could never hurt me."

"I pray that you're right," he growled. "Because I can't resist you anymore." He pulled her against him, pressing his lips to hers. This kiss was like nothing that came before. His soft lips were urgent, almost painful, but they brought her such pleasure that she felt like she could float to heaven.

His kiss was tinged with whisky and warmth, and she couldn't resist it. His fingers gripped her arms so tight she was afraid they would bruise, but she didn't care. She just opened herself up to his kiss and allowed him to dominate the kiss. It felt so fucking good to give herself over to him and the power of the lust building between them.

Caleb groaned against her lips as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth and rubbing against her own. He nipped at her bottom lip, and she gasped. Moving his big hands to her face, he slid them through her thick hair, pulling out the messy ponytail to free her dark locks.

Then he was murmuring against her mouth, saying words she'd always wanted to hear, whispering sweet nothings she prayed would turn into some things.

"I've never wanted anything as bad as I want you," he said, and she thought his hands shook as he spoke. "The second I got inside you, I knew I had to have you again."

She sighed, and he took the opportunity to move his lips down from hers, across her jaw, down to her neck. He licked and sucked at her pulse point, making her moan, sending little bolts of electricity surging through her nerve endings.

His hands slid from her hair and down to her t-shirt. He rubbed his palms against her body, down to the edge of her shirt, tugging it upward. She raised her arms to allow him to pull it off. Caleb tossed it away and ran his fingers up her naked skin, tracing the edge of her lacy bra.

"I knew you weren't the outdoors type, Professor Greenhorn," he whispered against her throat. "What kind of camper wears lacy underwear?"

"The kind that spends her days fantasizing about a certain irresistible forest ranger."

He groaned at her response. "While I love looking at it on you, I can't wait to touch you everywhere. You better be wet for me."

“I am,” she whispered roughly.

She didn't protest, so he moved his hands around her back to unhook her bra. She pulled it off, and her heart skipped a beat when he sighed.

Dani felt his hot breath against her chest, giving her goose bumps, making her shiver in delight. For a moment he just stared, and she thought he whispered "beautiful," before he moved his hands to cup her breasts. His thumbs rubbed against her nipples, and she moaned as they tightened underneath his touch.

She arched back, pressing more fully into his hands. Caleb moved his head down and captured one nipple in his hot mouth. He sucked fiercely, then gave the other the same treatment. His kisses streaked like fire down her belly and lower, until she could feel his breath against her panties and the fevered skin underneath.

Slowly, so slowly, Caleb slid her panties off, exposing her to his blistering gaze. "I can't wait to taste you, Dani," he murmured and blew against her, sending a shiver of electricity jolting through her.

"What's stopping you?"

His laugh was throaty and tickled against her bare skin. And then his mouth was on her, and she was lost in sensation.

His tongue teased her as his fingers opened her to his exploration. Dani couldn't hold still as he probed her, his finger replacing his tongue when her panting signaled her impending loss of control. Caleb sucked her clit into his mouth and pulled, and she lost it, her orgasm hit like a hurricane. He licked and sucked at her soft skin until he drank every last drop of her release.