Chapter Eleven – Roxy

“Mm mmmm.” Marie leans against the counter and gives a little shiver. “Mmmm.”

I flip the coffee machine on and glance at her over my shoulder. “Can I help you?”

“Not you, honey,” she replies with a sigh.

“I guess you haven’t seen him,” Isla squeezes next to her sister.

“Seen who?”

“The hunk of a man staying at your aunt’s place! Oh!” They both fan themselves with their hands.

I place their coffees in front of them and ring up their order. “Hunk of a man? I’m listening.”

“He’s… Oh, he’s got me all flustered!” Marie sighs again.

“He’s tall,” Isla says dreamily. “Tall and big and his hair! Goodness me, I could just run my fingers through his hair all day long.”

I don’t think I’ve seen these two quite this giggly over a man… Well, ever, and that’s surely saying something.

“Who is he?” I hand them their change.

“Haven’t the foggiest, dear. He did say he’d be meeting us here for coffee, though. So if you see that man come on in, you make sure you notify us immediately!” Isla waggles her finger at me. My lips twist in a wry smile.

“Like I’d notice before you two ladies.”

Marie nods. “You know, Isla, foxy Roxy has a point there.”

“Foxy Roxy?” I snort. “You two are getting worse. Go drink your coffees and keep an eye out for this hunky man. Go on.”

The door opens and they both turn with lightning speed.

“Mm, it’s not our man, Marie, but he’s certainly a hunky one.”

I roll my eyes with a laugh and look up. Kyle’s standing in the doorway, one hand resting on the door. There’s a light shadow along his jaw, and as I lift my eyes to his, my heart thumps. He’s looking at me the way he did last night – intensely, like there’s nothing else he can see but me. I swallow as he steps toward the counter.

“Ladies.” He looks at Marie and Isla. “Don’t you look lovely this morning?”

“Oh, you charmer you!” Isla swats his arm, giggling.

“Just tellin’ it as I see it.” Kyle winks.

“Well…” Marie’s eyes flit between me and him. “I think we should go have a seat, Isla.”

“Right you are, Marie. Facing the door this week, though. We don’t want to miss our young man.”

Kyle raises an eyebrow at me when they’ve sat down. “Their young man?”

“Some guy staying at my aunt’s bed and breakfast,” I answer dismissively. “Coffee?”

“Please.”

I turn and busy myself with the machine and his mug. I’m trying not to focus on his gaze firmly attached to my back or on our kiss last night. In fact, all I’m trying to focus on is making this coffee without—

“Shit!” I cry, dropping the mug of milk. I grab a cloth and bend down to mop it up. Kyle’s laughing quietly behind me, and I glare at him when I stand up again.

He ignores my icy look and leans forward on the counter. “Something on your mind, Roxy?”

“Aside from how I wish I’d hit you with the milk instead? No.”

“Sarcasm to your defense again.”

I put his coffee in front of him – with milk. “Any reason you’re here this morning?”

His lips curve to one side. “I’m having a coffee.”

“Of course you are.” I put one hand on the counter and tilt my head to one side. “But why are you here?”

His eyes flick to the twins, and they look back at their mugs instead of us. He leans toward me and lowers his voice. “Can we talk about this when you’ve finished?”

I glance at the clock. “It’s not for another half an hour.”

Kyle curves his fingers around his mug and lifts it to his mouth. His brown eyes study me over the top of the white ceramic, and my breath catches in my throat at the glint there.

He says quietly, “I’ll wait for you.”

There’s a double meaning there.

I shake off that stupid thought and head toward Mr. Yeo’s table. One kiss and I’m analyzing his every word. Fucking hell.

“How was it?” I ask the old man hidden behind the paper.

“Awesome,” he replies. “That’s what you kids say these days, isn’t it?”

I laugh. “That’s it.”

“Good. You tell your mama it’s the best she’s ever given me.”

“She tried a new recipe out today. I’ll be sure to let her know it’s a success.” I take his plate and head into the kitchen to put the plate in the sink.

“Well?” Mom asks.

“He loved it.”

“Who knew all I needed was a bit of black pepper?”

I shrug a shoulder. “Not me.”

“Roxy…”

I stop before I walk from the kitchen and slowly turn to her. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You seem a little… off.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Mom. I didn’t sleep well last night, is all.”

“Okay, honey. You can go when Selena turns up. I didn’t need you both last weekend, so go and get some sleep or something.”

I nod and walk back into the café. The twins are talking to a tall man with greying hair. Surely this can’t be the “hunk” in Aunt Bonnie’s bed and breakfast?

“Psst,” I hiss at Kyle, leaning in close. “Who’s that?”

He turns to me and his face is much closer to mine than I thought it would be. I flinch in surprise but he doesn’t move away.

“That’s their young man.” The twist in his lips shows just how amused he is.

I peer at the man. “My house is younger than him.”

Kyle chuckles. “Play nice, Roxanne.”

“Don’t. Call. Me. Roxanne.”

“Or what?”

“Sorry I’m late!” Selena runs through the café. “I couldn’t find my apron.”

I push off the counter. “Don’t worry about it. You could have used mine. I’m going now anyway.”

“You… What?”

“Mom said she didn’t need me so I can leave early.” I shrug and untie my apron, stashing it beneath the counter. “Have fun.”

“Pfffft.” Selena pours a cup of coffee, and I grin.

“Behave yourself, you two,” I shoot at the twins as I stroll toward the door. They both turn to me and their eyes twinkle when they see Kyle on my heels.

“We’ll say the same to you two,” they say in unison with a giggle.

They get worse.

Kyle holds the door open and we walk through. “What are we doing?” I ask him.

“Wanna go up to the gorge?”

“Just us?”

He turns to me, smirking. “Who else?”

I shrug and walk to his car. I hear him laugh behind me, and he approaches me.

“Why, Hughes,” he murmurs into my ear. “Are you nervous around me?”

Yes.

“Don’t be fucking stupid, Daniels.” I shove him away from me. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“Why would you change your mind?”

“Not because I’m nervous around you, that’s for sure.”

He laughs again. Damn him. I am nervous around him. It’s a feeling I’m not used to. I’m used to knowing what’s going to happen but Kyle keeps me guessing. I’m used to being in control but I’m not around him. He makes me lose control. I love it and hate it at the same time.

The car is suffocating as we drive toward the gorge. I train my eyes on the passenger side window and watch the wooded areas I’ve grown up in pass me by. I try to name all the flowers I see in an extreme attempt to distract myself from Kyle but it isn’t working.

I can’t stop thinking about kissing him last night. How his hand felt twined in my hair, how his body felt pressed up against mine and how his lips covered mine. I felt every single touch down to my bones. I still do. I can still feel the burning of my skin when he touched me.

The air is cooler out here, and it’s a relief to get out of the car and walk through the trees. It’s a relief to be here, hiding. Even if the person I know I need to hide the most from is right behind me.

“Why do you always pick the jerks?”

I stop and rest my hand against a tree. “What do you mean?”

“The guys I see you with every weekend. They’re all assholes, Rox. You’re not blind or stupid. You know they are.”

“I know.”

“So why do you go for them?”

“Because they don’t expect any more than I’m willing to give.”

“Which is a quick fuck.”

His words sting. But they’re the truth. “Yep.”

The ground crunches under his feet as he walks over to me. “Why? Why don’t you find a nice guy?”

I turn and meet his gaze. “Because they want more from me than I can give.”

“Like what?”

“A relationship.”

Kyle stops right in front of me and puts his hand next to mine on the tree. “Why can’t you give them that?”

Because they’re not you.

“I just can’t. I go for the jackasses because they don’t care if I play them. They’re looking for what I am; something that doesn’t mean anything. It’s easy. Simple. I can fuck them over and they don’t give a shit.”

“So why did you kiss me last night?”

I was drunk. I don’t know. I was drunk. I don’t know.

Great. I can’t think of more than two excuses and even then they’re both crap.

I swallow instead of saying anything.

“Well?” he prompts. “Last time I checked, I wasn’t a jerk.”

“Depends who you ask.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Am I a jerk?”

“No.” I sigh. “You’re not.”

“So I’ll ask you again. Why did you kiss me last night if you only kiss jerks?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Why did you kiss me?”

“For the same reason I’m about to again. Because I want to.” He bends his head and presses his lips to mine before I can respond.

It feels the same as last night but so different.

This is sweeter. Every brush of his lips against mine feels like he’s tasting me and savoring me. It feels like he’s using each touch to memorize the feel of my mouth on his. It’s not hard and it’s not soft.

This kiss is as raw as the one last night, but in different ways. Last night was an explosion of pure need. This is a wave of emotion full of honesty and sincerity.

“Why?” I whisper.

Kyle pushes my hair from my face and cups the side of my head, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “Because someone has to show you you’re worth more than you’ve made yourself believe. And it’s hard enough not to punch every guy that touches you without letting someone else kiss you that way.”

“Why, Kyle Daniels, are you jealous?”

“Yes.”

His answer shocks me. It’s the way he said it so simply, like I should have known – like I shouldn’t have had to ask at all.

“Why?”

He runs his fingers through to the ends of my hair and steps back. “I don’t know why. Just like you don’t know why you can’t give a nice guy a relationship.”

Ouch. I deserve that.

I drop onto the ground next to him. “So you came into the café for us to find out I can’t give a nice guy a relationship, and you’re jealous of any guy who kisses me.”

“Apparently so.”

“You know why you’re jealous.” I look at the floor.

“And you know why you can’t give a nice guy a relationship.”

“We’re not talking generalizations now, are we?”

“No,” he replies quietly.

I look at the gorge running past in front of us. The water is quick, crashing against the small rocks breaking its path. It’s almost as if the water knows exactly where its heading before it hits the rock and veers off in that direction, leaving the smaller, more indecisive water drops to smash into the rock. It’s a head on collision, a wreck.

The way Cam’s life ended. The way mine is heading.

Difference is, I’m in control of mine.

He wasn’t.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” My voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the gorge. “Can you take me home?”

“In a minute.” Kyle turns to me and twists his body toward mine.

“Wh—”

He pulls my face toward his again. I know I should push him away – I should cut everything here. I should get up and demand he takes me home right this fucking second.

But I won’t.

I’ve spent too many endless nights over the last few years wondering what this would feel like. I’ve spent too many hours staring in space in a girly haze wondering what it would be like for him to see me as something other than his best friend’s sister.

Now I know. I know what it’s like to have our lips locked and for him to look at me as someone more than what I always been have.

And I’m afraid I’m helpless against it.