Chapter 6
Jaxon
I get up on Monday morning and met the boys for our daily run. As usual, being the first one here I get some stretches out of the way.
“Hey,” Bobby says, the next to arrive. “Where the fuck have you been all weekend?”
“Nowhere,” I grunt.
“Really?” he smirks. “So, you weren’t stalking Cass at the library and then fucking her all night?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about?” I say as the memories of Cassie’s naked body riding me like I’ve never been ridden before come slamming back to the forefront of my mind. The soft curve of her body, her back arching as she threw her head back.
“Oh, well, Brianna called yesterday, she said, and I quote ‘it’s was so fucking intense that I nearly came just from listening’.” I can’t help but smirk which has Bobby scowling at me. “Seriously? You had to fuck her with my sister in the house?”
I hate the way he describes it as a ‘fuck’, it was definitely not just a fuck, it was something more, something on a deeper level, a connection between two people. “Dude, sorry,” I laugh. “I had no idea she was home.”
He rolls his eyes but moves right along. “You really think going there with Cass was a good idea?” he asks.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, standing up a little straighter and turning to face him. I mean, what the fuck is it his business what goes on between me and Cass? She’s not his girl for fuck's sake.
“Dude, it’s clear you both still have some sort of feelings for each other. I just don’t think she’s a one-night-stand kind of girl.” He continues at the blank look on my face. “Does she want to get back together?” he asks. “Cause you and I both know that’s not who you are anymore.” Yeah, that’s for damn sure, the person I used to be died three years ago, leaving behind a shell of a man with abandonment issues who screws random chicks just to fill the void.
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “I doubt it.”
“Do you want her back?” he asks slowly as his eyebrow raises, curiosity gleaming in his eyes and once again making me wonder what the fuck it is to him?
“I used to, not anymore,” I grunt. “I’m not the same person she once knew. A lot has changed since then.”
“You know chicks man, sleeping with her is probably giving her false hope that something could happen between you. If you’re not planning on getting back with her then you should back off,” he suggests, probably so the fucker can make room for himself. “She’s a nice girl and you’re going to hurt her.”
“Fuck man, it was one night. She knows what’s up.”
“You sure?” he asks with a raised eyebrow as the rest of the guys reach us.
My mind swirls. The last person on earth I would ever hurt is Cass but maybe Bobby is right, maybe sleeping with her wasn’t the best idea but what can I say, we were always so good together, especially when it came to sex and I can’t say that I’m disappointed, Saturday night she absolutely rocked my world, just like she has a million times before. Call it taking a stroll down memory lane or for old time’s sake.
But… Bobby is right, if I go back she might think that something could happen. Sure there is a shit load of unresolved feelings and sure, I might screw every brunette I come across just trying to get her out of my head but when it actually comes down to it. Me and Cass are over, she made sure of that three years ago and because of that, I’m done. I’ll get my answers and that’s it, she’s out of the picture for good. Sure, it will suck seeing her on campus, moving on and dating other guys but it’s only one year and then I’m out of here, to the freaking NHL.
“Yeah, man. She knows.” Or at least, she will. I let out a sigh before taking off and putting an end to the conversation. The boys fall in behind me and we get right into our training.
An hour and a half later, I’m pushing through my front door with Shorty and Aaron on my heels. Shorty and I collapse in the lounge room while Aaron detours to the Kitchen. He comes back with three bottles of water and tosses one to each of us.
“Thanks, man,” I murmur as my heart rate begins to drop back to normal.
“Hmm,” he grunts as he falls into the space beside Shorty and puts his feet up on the coffee table.
Shorty instantly falls into a deep sleep and I roll my eyes as I pull my phone out of my pocket. My eyes bug out as I check the time. “Shit,” I hiss as I get to my feet and launch myself over the back of the couch. Aaron watches me with a questioning, clueless, raised eyebrow and I decide to do him a solid and clue him in. “Our Business lecture starts in twenty minutes, dude.”
“Dammit,” he groans, slowly getting to his feet then thinking better of it and collapsing back on the couch. “Fuck it. I can’t be stuffed today.”
“Fine by me, but keep in mind a skipped class equals a benched game in coaches’ book and you can bet your ass he’ll be checking up on it this year,” I remind him.
“Shit,” he groans, getting to his feet again with a look of pure defeat on his face. Just as well, the kid needs as much time in a classroom as he can possibly get. With a satisfied smirk, I bound up the stairs, launch myself into the shower, get dressed, scoff down some breakfast and even manage to get to class before the professor begins his lecture.
From then on, the day drags by with images of Cassie’s sweet ass circling my brain which is then switched with devastating memories of her parents. By the afternoon, I welcome hockey practice with open arms. I step into the locker room and start grabbing my shit out of my bag to get suited up. The boys are all giving one of the freshman kids a hard time for lucking out with one of the figure fairies out in the lot and I can’t help the smile the spreads across my face. This year truly is going to be amazing, we’ll as long as I can get Cassie out of my head. Give me a few weeks and a long list of fresh chicks to screw and I’ll be right.
I step onto the ice and the boys follow suit. We instantly jump into our routine and get started on our warm up. The boys are in the middle of running drills when a familiar figure walks into the ice rink.
Holy shit. What does this fucker want?
Coach notices the newcomer and watches him likes he has seen a ghost before a bright smile takes over his face. He makes his way to meet him but the new comer’s eyes are solely on me, daring me to step forward. Anger flares through me as I begin slowly gliding forward.
Coach notices and with a nod, let’s the scene play out. I rip off my helmet and make my way towards the edge of the barrier, completely unsure what the hell could be going on, though I have one nagging idea that circles my head. I hear the sound of the boy's drills slowly come to a standstill before I hear the gasps and shocked curses.
“You lost?” I ask Logan as he watches me with a strange mix of unease and brotherly affection. I pull my gloves off and set them on the edge of the barrier, just in case it comes down to a fight, after all, you never know with this guy. We have been known to get into it a few times, though for once the playing field is finally equal.
He raises his chin and ignores my snappy attitude. “Sorry, kid,” he says with his heart on his sleeve, stepping up before me to keep as much of our conversation as private as possible. “We thought you knew.”
I cross my arms over my chest, knowing instantly that he is talking about his parents, shit, the people I pretty much classified as my own damn parents and I know this is not a conversation I want to have in front of my boys but it’s here, it’s happening right now, whether I like it or not. “How could I have known, Logan? I haven’t spoken to any of you in three years,” I grunt, taking an angry breath as my voice raises. “Fuck, man. I haven’t even been home since I left. How the fuck was I supposed to know?”
“We know that now. We all fucked up, Cass too,” he says with honesty shining through his eyes.
“Seriously?” I ask, not impressed.
“Shit, kid. I’m trying to apologise here, lose the fucking chip on your shoulder,” he says, putting me back in my place, the same way he used to when me and Cass would get up to mischief. “Yeah, we fucked up, none of us reached out. We wanted to give you space when you left for college and before we knew it the cancer was back as we were all preoccupied, our minds were solely on mum and helping her get through it. We expected that you would know, I don’t know, I guess my thoughts were your parents would have said something. Then you didn’t show and you know how we get, we all took that as you giving us the big ‘fuck you’.”
“You’re shitting me, right?” I practically growl. “Had I known she was that bad, I would have been there every day. She was my mum too. You guys were my brother’s and Cass, well, who the fuck knows about that but either way, I would have been there. But instead, she passed thinking that I wasn’t there for her, that I didn’t bother to come and visit and what the fuck was I left with? Fucking no one. Each and every one of you turned your backs on me, I had nothing. I was left with no one.” By this stage, I feel like curling up into a ball and crying like a fucking baby as all the old scars are torn wide open, right along with the new ones.
The thoughts had been running through my head since the moment I found out Cass’s parents had died and fuck, does it feel good to finally get it out and be able to point my anger at one the people who deserve it the most. I thought I’d never see this guy again and never get the chance to let this out and even though my heart still aches for them, it also feels like a weight is finally being lifted off my shoulders.
As soon as the words settle between us, the anger disappears with it, leaving behind only the ache of missing the people I loved as parents. Logan notices the change within me and instantly steps forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me in tight. “I’m sorry, brother,” he says with sincerity as he holds me against him, not letting me go. “I don’t know how, but I promise you, we’ll make it up to you. I swear to you kid. We were blinded by everything that was going on, we had no clue you were hurting so bad. We could have taken that away but instead we stabbed you in the back in the worst way.”
He lets me go and I give him a slight nod, letting him know that I truly hear his words. He has made his peace and now we can start working on mending that bridge that was torn down three years ago.
Coach watches on and can clearly see that whatever needed to happen here is done and makes his way over. “Logan Water’s, what the hell are you doing in my training session?”
Logan instantly switches to his usual charming self and gives Coach a warm grin. “Thought I’d come and make sure you weren’t screwing up these kid’s chance of defending their title,” he smirks.
“Watch it, Logan,” Coach warns. “Just because you’re a big hotshot now doesn’t mean that I won’t still snap you in half.”
“Like to see you try,” Logan replies fondly. “What do you say, I get on and show these dimwits how a real man plays hockey?”
“Fuck me,” Coach groans with a shake of his head. “I’m going to regret this,” he says, giving Logan a nod and turning away.
Logan grins before disappearing towards the locker rooms to get ready at the rink he called home for his whole college career. “You know Waters?” Coach asks with deep curiosity behind his eyes as I catch up to him.
“Sure do, Coach. We go way back.” I say, pulling my gloves and helmet back on.
He lets out a frustrated sigh as he considers my response. “I should have known, your technique is near identical.”
With a smirk I turn to face a bunch of teenage girls, all star struck by one of their current idols. “Quit drooling,” I tell them, “You’ve got drills to run and please don’t make me look like a dipshit in front of Logan. I’ll never live it down.”
With that, the boys get straight back into training, after all, we have our first game of the season coming up at the end of the week and these bastards need to be ready. Like Logan said. We have a title to defend. With Logan on the ice, the boys all kick it up a notch. It doesn’t take them long to realise they all still have a lot to learn.
Logan kicks their asses while giving them as much encouragement as possible, the same way he had done for me when I was a kid. It’s completely surreal having him share the ice with me again but something about it feels right, comforting almost.
It’s crazy to see in person just how much he has improved since the last time I played against him, though I guess that’s expected when he has played for the NHL for the past four years. He gives the boys a few tricks of the trade and I watch on as Coach gives Logan the look of a proud father.
The session comes to an end and we all pile off the ice. “You’re a good choice for Captain, kid” Logan says as he whips off his skates. “I can see how much you’ve improved. You’ve got what it takes.”
“Thanks,” I nod as he stands beside me.
“I got to run,” he says, grabbing his things then looks down at me hesitantly and I know the big bang is coming. “Look, I know it’s not my place to say,” he starts. “I have no idea what’s going on between you two or what even happened three years ago but Cass is all we have left. I know it’s hard and probably really sucks but look out for her, ok? Keep her out of trouble?”
“You know I will,” I say getting up and giving him a quick goodbye. “See you around, man.”
“Alright, thanks, kid. I’ll see you later,” he says, pulling me in for a quick hug and clapping me on the shoulder. With a grateful nod, he turns towards the locker room door, gives Coach a quick goodbye and disappears.
Holy shit. I was not expecting my afternoon to turn out like that.
I’ve got my brother’s back. While that road is still bumpy as shit, it’s still there and that’s all that counts. A sense of relief comes over me and for the first time in a long time, I start to feel content, like a piece of my heart has finally been given back to me, almost like a puzzle piece has finally found its spot.