Chapter 5
Cassie
He reaches across in an instant, scoops his arms around my waist and pulls me on top of him. My legs straddle him as he holds me close. “How?” he asks, his voice broken as his head falls to my shoulder. Making no secret of the fact that all this time, he actually had no idea.
I take a deep breath, preparing myself to break his heart all over again. “Mum was nearly two years ago,” I start, my voice shaky but I push on through. He needs to know. “The cancer came back. She was gone within a few months.”
He curses the pain clear in his voice as he pulls me in tighter, urging me to continue.
“Dad was taken by a heart attack six months ago,” I murmur as the tears stream down my face.
We sit in silence, finding comfort in each other. “Fuck, Cass. They were my family too. I should have been there for them. For you.”
I drop my head into the nook of his neck. “I’m sorry,” I cry, my lips moving against his skin, “I miss them so much.”
“I know, baby,” he says as he removes his hands and brings them to lift my face to his, “There’s nothing you could have done to change what happened,” he tells me, holding me close enough to feel his breath against my lips.
“I could have come home more, been by her side,” I whisper.
“She wouldn’t have wanted that and you know it,” he says. I drop my forehead against his. “You should have called me, Cass. I would have been there.”
“I hurt you, Jax. In the worst way. I didn’t think I could,” I admit.
“You were hurting. I would have come, I would always come,” he murmurs.
Once again, the room falls to silence as we contemplate what has been said. Neither one of us moves as we desperately seek out the comfort and familiarity the other offers.
“Come on,” he finally says. “We still have a lot to talk about but it’s getting late. I’ll drop you home.”
At that, I finally look up and notice the room has fallen into darkness and I’m shocked to find how long we have been sitting here. “It’s ok,” I say, getting to my feet but feeling empty at the loss of his touch. “I have my car,” I tell him, stepping back so he has room to move.
“Ok,” he murmurs as we walk out of the little room only to find the rest of the library completely abandoned. Lights are off, the familiar whir of the computers gone, the librarian’s desk empty and of course, the front doors locked.
“Shit,” I whisper as we walk up to the front doors. Jax double checks the door while I peer through the window. “Crap,” I groan.
“What?” he asks also peering through the window. “Still petrified of storms?”
“More now than ever,” I cringe. Turning away and heading for the windows in the computer lab, knowing that one tends to get jammed and is a bitch to close.
I climb up on the table and get to work trying to jimmy the window open. I hear Jax groan from behind me before grabbing my hips and moving me out of the way. “Watch out,” he grumbles. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” He steps up on the table and with a bit of manpower the window creaks open bringing with it the noise of the raging storm outside.
He shoves his head out the window and looks down. “It’s a bit of a drop,” he yells over the sound of the storm, the wind blowing his brown hair around like crazy. “I’ll go first and catch you at the bottom.”
I step up beside him and peer out the window, my eyes going as wide as saucers. There is no way I’m jumping out this window especially in a freaking storm. “But…” I start, getting cut off by a crack of thunder.
“No buts. It’s either jump out the window or stay here the night.” He tells me knowing I’m far too pussy to do either. Seeing the resignation in my eyes he continues, “Be careful, the rains made the window sill slippery,” he says as he climbs up. Before I know it, he has launched himself out. I cringe as he disappears into the dark night below.
“Shit, are you ok?” I call below.
“Yeah,” he says. “Hurry up, I’m getting wet.”
“Oh,” I groan as I pull myself up onto the ledge. I make the mistake of looking down into the nothingness just as a shot of thunder echoes through the sky, killing every ounce of confidence I had. “Fuck, Jax. I can’t do it,” I call to him.
“Yes, you can. Now get your ass down here,” he orders. “I’ll catch you, I won’t let you fall,” he adds as lightning brightens up the sky. “Fuck,” I hear him groan.
I peek over once again, the movement making my hair swirl around my face.
“Now, Cass,” he demands.
Dammit. “Fine,” I groan on a whimper as I close my eyes and scoot my ass to the edge and launch myself over. A squeal rips from my throat as I fall through the sky but moments later two, strong, warm arms are holding me up. Saving me from my imminent death.
“Bout fucking time,” he groans, making sure I find my feet on the ground. “I thought I was going to have to climb back up and push you out.”
“Shut up,” I say, reluctantly stepping back and dropping my hands from his bulging, strong arms. “You’re freaking drenched,” I say, trying to cover up my unease, which I’m sure after all these years he can see right through.
“Yeah, I’m aware, but you will be too if we don’t get going.” He adds letting me off the hook.
With that, we both take off through the rain towards the car park. “You want me to follow you home?” he asks, though, I know it’s only because of the storm and his need to help a damsel in distress.
“I’ll be ok,” I say as we round the corner and come to a stop, both of us seeing the massive boom gate closing off the car park.
“Fuck,” he curses. “We’re going to have to make a run for it.”
“Shit,” I groan, turning to him. “I guess I’ll see you later?” I say extremely awkwardly.
“Fuck that,” he scoffs. “Like Hell, I’d let you run home at night by yourself during a storm. Your brothers would have my balls if they ever found out.” Shit. Don’t think about his balls. Don’t think about his balls.
“Fine,” I grumble, knowing a losing cause when I see one. We both take off home and before I know it, we’re crashing through my door. “I’ll grab you a towel,” I say, taking off down the hallway.
Jax follows behind me but stops when he gets to my room and pushes the door open. I rifle through the cupboard, grab a towel and step back into my room to find him with his back turned to me and my old acoustic guitar in his hands. The very guitar he had bought me when I was fourteen and finally admitted I wanted to make music.
“You’ve still got this,” he says, turning slowly to look at me.
“Yeah,” I breathe. “I could never part with that.”
Jax turns it in his hands before gently placing it back down. He takes two steps and suddenly he is right in front of me, pushing a dripping strand of hair off my face. His fingers run down the length of my face and down my throat, following my arms until he is gently taking the towel out of my hands. Rather than step back to dry himself off, he throws the towel aside.
His eyes search mine as he comes in closer, slowly tilting his face towards mine, almost as if asking for permission. I lift my chin and my lips softly press against his, bringing me home for the first time in three years. He kisses me tenderly like I’m a precious piece of crystal that could break at any moment.
My hands twine up his arms and come to a rest behind his neck with my fingers finding purchase in the soft hair on the back of his head. He deepens the kiss and a moan instantly escapes me. His hands travel down my body and come to a rest at the bottom of my shit before he begins peeling the wet fabric off me.
He pulls it up and over my head before trailing his hands back down my body and lifting me by the back of my thighs. My legs instantly wrap around his strong body as he walks us towards the bed, his lips never leaving mine. He lays me down and his large body comes down on top of me.
I wriggle my arms free and get to work on his shirt. He raises off me slightly and helps remove the wet shirt then reaches under me to unclasp my bra. He sits up a little higher and gives me an almighty view of his body as he slowly draws my bra straps off my arms. His eyes take me in as if seeing me for the first time but I can’t find it within to watch his reaction as my eyes are glued to his body which is now one of a man.
My eyes start at his strong shoulders and travel down to the muscled pecs. My hand raises and lands right in the centre of his chest, feeling the strong muscles under my fingers, I trail down towards his abs, my fingers feeling the sharp ridges that come with years of dedicated training.
I keep working my way down, past his glorious ‘V’ and take hold of his belt buckle, my eyes flicking up towards his to make sure he truly wants to do this. His eyes are flaming with need and I take that as my cue to continue. I rid him of his pants and he comes back down on top of me.
His lips find the soft skin of my neck which forces my back to arch up into him. He works his way down, his hands cupping my breasts before he sucks one into his mouth, forcing another moan out of me. His free hand travels down my body and finds the button on my jeans. He looks up at me. “Are you sure, Cass?” he asks. “I won’t be able to stop. Not with you.”
“Yes, I need to feel you,” I tell him. He looks me in the eye for another moment before bringing his lips down to mine and kissing me with an unbelievable amount of passion. My jeans and thong are gone from my body within seconds and before I know it, Jax is situating himself between my legs.
The feel of his erection against my stomach has my hand reaching down, desperate to feel his velvety skin between my fingers again. I bite down on my lip the second I feel him and my god, he has grown.
His fingers find my clit and start rubbing little circles, making my fist tighten around him. I pant into his mouth as he groans in satisfaction. His fingers lower and find my centre already wet and ready for him. He pushes inside me and just knowing that it is him is nearly enough to make me blow.
My body arches up into him once more as I raise my legs to wrap around his narrow waist. “I need you inside me, Jax,” I beg, looking up at him.
“Condom?” he asks.
“No,” I pant. “I need to feel you. Just you.”
He lets out a slight groan and positions himself at my entrance. He slowly guides his head in and my body is already screaming for more. Ever so slowly, he pushes the rest of his large length in, completely filling me up. “Fuck,” he groans as I let out a desperate moan. He comes to a stop above me, dipping his head and gently kissing me.
With his lips on mine, he begins to move, real, real slow. My nails dig into the tight skin on his shoulders and he begins to increase speed, making me scream out for more. He brings us both right to the edge before flipping us over and taking himself impossibly deeper.
He scoots up the headboard until he is sitting, giving us each a perfect view of the other, he sucks my nipple into his mouth and grabs my ass with his free hand as I start to move above him. “Jax,” I groan, throwing my head back while twining my fingers through his hair and giving a tug. “I’m going to come,” I tell him.
“Not yet baby. Hold onto it, I’ve missed this too much for it to be over yet,” he says pulling me in tighter and biting me gently on the shoulder, making me clench around him.
“Fuck,” he groans as he begins pounding up into me.
“Jax,” I scream in warning as his hand comes down between us and presses against my clit, sending an electric current shooting straight through me.
My world explodes around him as he pounds into me a few more times. My walls clench down as I feel him find his release but he keeps moving, allowing me to ride it out.
I drop my head to his shoulder as we each try to catch our breaths. “Shit, Cass. You were holding out on me all those years,” he says, giving me a wicked grin.
“Look who’s talking, stud,” I laugh.
He rolls his eyes but things quickly turn serious as our minds return to us. “Come on, let me get you cleaned up,” he says, lifting me off him and taking me into the bathroom. I feel him beginning to leak out of me but he reaches into the shower and turns on the taps with us quickly following behind.
He sets me down on my feet, letting my rain-drenched hair rinse through the hot water before grabbing my soap and washing us off. “What does this mean, Jax?” I eventually ask in the quietest voice I can possibly manage, terrified of the answer.
He lets out a sigh and pulls me into him. “Nothing, Cass,” he says. “You ended us three years ago with no explanation. You left me with nothing and your brothers followed. How could I come back from that?”
I nod against his chest, completely understanding where he is coming from. A tear falls from the corner of my eye but is masked by the shower’s spray. “Will you at least stay tonight? You can go back to hating me tomorrow.”
“I couldn’t bear to walk out that door tonight,” he tells me.
I nod once again and he turns off the taps before reaching out and grabbing some towels. He wraps one around me, once again treating me like a precious crystal that could break at any moment.
We head back into my bedroom and climb into bed together. Jax immediately pulls me against him, holding me that same way he used to all those nights ago. My eyes close in satisfaction as I’m finally reunited with the feeling of being in his arms in that way that I have desperately craved. “Goodnight, Cass,” he whispers into the dark.
I roll in his arms, hating facing away from him. He curls me in under his chin and I rest my head against his chest as our legs become a jumbled mess. “Night, Jax,” I say as I drift into the best sleep I’ve had in over three years.
A soft knock comes at the door before Brianna pops her head through with a big ass cheesy grin on her face as she eyes Jax’s naked chest. “I freaking knew it,” she laughs quietly, “No one masturbates that dramatically.”
“Brianna,” I groan. “What the Hell do you want? It’s too freaking early.”
“Well I just thought you might like to know that all three of your incredibly sexy as fuck, big brothers are sitting in our lounge room. I mean, I could probably stall Carter from coming down here but you might have a problem with the other two,” she grins. “Actually…” she adds as an afterthought, “What do you think their thoughts are on a foursome?”
“What?” Jax says, his eyes as wide as saucers as he sits straight up in bed, taking the blanket with him and giving Bri a great view of my tits.
“Nice rack,” she applauds. “Now, get rid of your man.”
“Fuck,” I groan, choosing to ignore her comments about Jax being my man. She backs out of the room, leaving me with an unsure Jax. “They’re not going to be thrilled to see you naked in my bed so you’ve got to go, preferably out the window.”
“What?” he repeats for the second time this morning. “What’s wrong with the door?”
“Yeah, they figured you just didn’t show for either of the funeral’s, none of us realised that you didn’t know,” I explain regretfully as he gets out of bed and searches for his clothes.
He picks up his jeans to find them still soaking wet. “Shit,” he grunts, dropping them back on the floor.
I get out of bed and immediately feel his eyes on my body. I dig into my wardrobe and pull out Jax’s high school hockey jersey which should be long enough to cover the important bits. “Here,” I say throwing it across the room to him.
“I wondered what happened to this,” he muses.
“Yeah, well, now you know. But I want it back,” I warn.
“Got any track pants or anything?” he asks.
“Why you afraid the whole campus is going to get a look at your manhood?” I ask, smirking across at him with a raised questioning eyebrow, “There’s really nothing to worry about, the majority of girls around here have already seen it, they know what you’re packing.”
He gives me an unimpressed look but I see a flicker of guilt behind his eyes, a look that only years of knowing him could be able to detect.
With a sigh, I give in. “None that would fit you,” I grin, digging through my drawers to find my largest pair. He pulls them on and I have to cover my mouth to avoid laughing too loud.
He steps over to the window and pushes it up before turning back to me. “We still have a lot to talk about,” he says, giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead before looking me straight in the eyes. “You know, they both loved you so much. They would be proud of you,” he adds, giving me a meaningful look.
“I know,” I say before he ducks out the window and over the back fence, giving me a strange feeling that I won’t be seeing him for a while, though I know eventually he will come searching for the answers he is still desperate to get.
With a sigh, I grab a nice outfit, throw my hair up and get ready to face my brothers.
And for the first time in a long time, I want to sing again.
“Oi,” I call out as I walk up the hallway to see Brianna lounging comfortably in Carter’s lap with his hand resting dangerously close to her vag. I narrow my eyes at them before focusing on the other idiots in the room. “I thought you guys were coming at eight? The freaking sun has hardly risen.”
“First of all, it’s nine,” Carter says, getting up before placing Brianna down gently on the couch and giving me a big hug. “And secondly, who the hell did you have in your bed this morning?” he asks, making Sean and Logan’s heads whip in my direction.
“Ahhh…What?” I ask.
“I’ve been playing that game since before you could walk, little sister,” he explains. “Brianna was way too desperate to be the one who woke you.”
At that Logan and Sean get to their feet and come to stand before me with their arms crossed over their chests and major scowls on their identical faces. “Chill out, brothers. Bri and I have been doing Naked Yoga each night before bed, it’s very relaxing and freeing. So I’ve been sleeping nude if you really need to know. I bet you all would have loved walking in to see that, huh?”
Logan’s eyes widen in surprise as he looks from me to Brianna, “You guys are Lesbians?” he asks.
“What?” Brianna laughs, “No, when she says Naked Yoga she actually means Naked Yoga, you know, Yoga in the nude. It’s not a code word for kinky lesbian sex,” she clarifies. “Though I have to admit, if I was going to go lesbian, it would be with Cass, I mean, you’ve seen her rack, right?” she grins.
I can’t help but chuckle at the awkward and uncomfortable looks on my brother’s face, though, pleased to see my lie has at least got Sean and Logan off my back, who both start making their way out the door.
“You may have those idiots fooled,” Carter whispers as we walk on behind, throwing his arm over my shoulder, “But I invented the Naked Yoga lie. I’ll figure out who was here and when I do, there’ll be trouble.”
“Oh please, by the time you figure anything out you would have forgotten what your goal was,” I scoff.
“Shut up and get in the truck,” he demands, opening the door for me and ushering me in. I giggle as I step past him but none-the-less, I do as I’m told. No matter how outrageous and foul my big brothers can be, they will always treat a woman like a lady, just the way my father raised them to.
“Alright, what do you want for brekky, Ass Face?” Logan asks.
“Pancakes,” I grin.
“You got it, dude,” he replies and pulls into the first 24/7 diner he can find.
Half an hour later, we’re munching down on our breakfast when Sean's eyes turn curious. “What?” I ask when he won’t stop staring.
“I don’t know,” he says, as if deep in thought. “You seem… different or something,” he adds, making the other two look at me in the same way.
“Probably the dick she got last night,” Carter murmurs, making me elbow him in the ribs. “I’ve noticed it has a way of relaxing a chick.”
“Shut up,” I scold. “There was no dick. And for the record, I feel better, I finally got a few things off my chest.”
“Yeah,” Carter scoffs, “Your clothes.”
Everyone ignores his comments as Sean and Logan push for details. “Well?” they ask.
“Jax found out I was on campus,” I start.
Logan groans, cutting me off. “Ugh, what did that little prick want?”
“He just wanted to talk,” I explain. “He has a few unanswered questions about why I left.”
“Yeah,” Sean scoffs, “and I have a few unanswered questions about why the fuck he didn’t bother showing for the funerals. They were his parents too.”
Logan and Carter both grunt their approvals. “Stop it,” I scold them as a wave of anger comes over me. “Have any of you seen him at home in the last three years?” I ask. “No,” I answer, not giving them the chance to jump on the defence. “Did you check in with his parents only to find out they haven’t spoken to him since the day he left for college? No. You all know damn well that I haven’t spoken to him since I left so did any of you call to let him know about mum or dad?” They all give guilty looks but I continue on. “No, you didn’t. None of us did, so how was he to know? I had to break his heart all over again telling him that the two people he actually considered to be his parents are now dead.” I cry. “So yeah, he didn’t come to the funerals because he had no freaking idea they were gone, which means, you can all lay off him and forgive him now because he hasn’t done anything wrong. He is just as torn up as we are.”
They each give their different versions of guilty curses and I know exactly what they are feeling. Since the day Jax had moved in next door, he became an unofficial member of the family, Hell, I’m pretty sure he was there more than the boys were. “He really didn’t know?” Logan asks, looking the worst as out of the triplets, Logan and Jax were the closest, especially when Jax started showing an interest in hockey and Logan took it upon himself to teach him all the tricks of the trade, still to this day their skating styles are so similar, it’s almost comical.
“Had no idea. Last he heard, mum was in the clear.”
“Shit,” he sighs.
“Come on, there’s nothing we can do to fix it right now,” Sean says, just as devastated. “Let’s go visit Mum and Dad. We can make good with Jax later.”
Sean gets up and fixes the bill while Logan slips out quickly to make a call, probably to the new girlfriend.
“It was Jax, wasn’t it?” Carter asks as I scoot out of the booth.
“What?” I ask, a little confused.
“The guy in your bed this morning. It was him.”
“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t,” I tease with a knowing smirk.
“Cass. Answer the damn question. Do I need to kick his ass or not?” he asks, following me out of the booth.
“Oh, well, in that case, you should have kicked his ass back when I was fifteen,” I grin, turning around and giving him a teasing wink, only to see him stopped in his tracks, his jaw hanging open, unsure how to respond.
I laugh as I push through the door and snatch the keys out of Logan’s unexpected hands and climb into the driver seat of the biggest truck I’ve yet to drive, locking the driver’s door behind me. “Get in boys,” I holler out the window, as I bring this beast to life, feeling the rumble of the engine beneath me, “We got a date with the parents.”