CHAPTER THIRTEEN

DREW GRINNED AND JUMPED TO his feet. "Pizza's here." He darted to the door before I had a chance to react.

We'd worked on moving me back and cleaning the place up all day. The landlord had brought in a cleaning company, but they had only taken care of the heavy lifting. When I'd come back, my furniture had still been bundled together in the middle of each room. I'd covered it in plastic, but dust had breached the perimeter.

To make it even more time consuming, Mom had decided to get rid of all my old stuff by making me take it off her hands. She said I could sort through it and decide what to throw out at my own place.

Drew returned with two massive pizza boxes and a couple of beers. He placed them all on my coffee table and collapsed on the couch.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on? You've turned into a total recluse."

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. I'd missed our weekly night out and skipped the lunches we normally shared. I'd usually go to his office building during his break and we'd eat together. Taking a week off from that hardly qualified as becoming a hermit.

"Don't give me that look. If I don't pester you now, you'll ditch me again next week."

"That's not—"

Drew pushed a slice of pizza into my mouth. "That's the truth and you know it."

I took the slice from his hand and bit into it. Okay, maybe he was right. I hadn't been in the mood to see anyone. I'd been troubled and angry to start with and Parker's silence hadn't made it better. His lack of reply bothered to no end. Yeah, still a hypocrite.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Stop moping. I swear it's rubbing off on me."

"What do you have to mope about?"

Drew’s jaw tightened. "Just because you don't ask doesn't mean that my life is perfect. You can be a total ass sometimes, Van." He bit into a slice, tearing off a bit with a grunt.

"Sorry, I know I haven't been a good friend lately."

Drew sighed and dropped the slice onto the pizza box. "Look, I know this is hard for you. I get it. When you're not so caught up in Parker, you're a pretty decent friend. But since they divorced, you've been permanently lost in this shitty situation. If you want my advice, you need to tell Parker already. Either be with him or get closure."

I closed my eyes and groaned. "It’s not that easy."

“Grow a damned backbone, man."

"And do what exactly?"

Drew made an unintelligible but clearly exasperated sound. "I don't know, call him maybe? Or go see him? It's not that complicated. Hell, you could even send a more detailed text. Or start with a proper apology."

I'd thought of all of that on my own, then talked myself out of every option I had. Facing Parker terrified me. If he hadn't guessed exactly how I felt, he at least suspected it. And if I explained it all, then he'd have to either reject me or... what exactly? Go out on dates with me? Jump into another serious relationship? What could I realistically ask of him?

Drew tapped my forehead. "Don't overthink it on your own, dummy. Tell me what's going through your thick skull, if there is any form of elevated thought in there."

I shoved him. "I am capable of thought, asshole."

He shrugged and picked his discarded pizza slice. "I've seen no evidence to support that claim."

***

Waking up in my own apartment felt almost magical. I had a certain routine in the morning, one I couldn't really enjoy while living with my parents. That Sunday, I took it to new heights. I woke up at the crack of dawn and took a long, hot shower. The coffee machine I'd set the night before greeted me with my favorite blend. I got through the first cup in a hurry, then enjoyed the second while looking out the window at the tiny park behind my building. It was quiet and sunny outside, and I found myself smiling despite the stress of late.

I washed my cup and changed into my running gear. I wasn't a hard-core runner, but I liked to do it on the weekend. I preferred going to a gym for some strength training during the week but running early in the morning when the streets and parks were emptier than normal felt cathartic.

I followed my regular trail, circling the park a few times to get my miles done. It felt easier than normal, as if the joy of finally being back in my apartment powered up my body and pushed it to higher levels of fitness. I didn't question it, I went with the flow and ran all my worries out of my mind.

My respite, short as it had been, made me feel more confident about the action plan I'd come up with the night before. Or more like the plan Drew had talked me into. Today I'd do my workout, shower, get some more coffee—that always helped with nerves—and call Parker. I couldn't hide and pout forever.

I walked back to my apartment, sweaty and blissfully relaxed, just as the morning was starting to get hotter. I hurried to get out of the heat and almost walked past Parker who was sitting on a bench in front of my building. Catching a glimpse of him, I stopped awkwardly, half-convinced I'd started hallucinating.

"Morning," he said, holding out the cups of coffee he'd gotten from a place nearby. "I think these are still warm."

His tight smile set me on edge. For once, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Was he upset or worried?

"Morning. Come on in."

I fished out my keycard and held the door open for him. The elevator ride and walking in deafening silence down the hallway to my apartment didn't help my insight. I'd seen Parker tense and guarded before, just not around me. Fear of what would follow and guilt over avoiding him for so long muddled my thoughts even more.

I rubbed the back of my head and turned to face Parker. I couldn't meet his eyes, but my mouth still worked. "Make yourself at home. I'll take a quick shower and be right back."

Parker nodded then stepped into my kitchen, setting down the coffee cups and pulling a chair. "Take your time, kid. I'll be here when you're done."

I was so delighted to hear him say he'd wait for me, I didn't even care what he called me. He didn't insist on saying his piece and dashing out, so it couldn't be as bad as I'd imagined. Could it?