CHAPTER EIGHT

I DRAGGED MYSELF THROUGH MY weekend after my movie night with Parker. Being a freelancer meant I could technically take time off whenever. In practice, it meant I'd just delayed the inevitable and had to catch up on work. It got me out of a family thing, so I saw less of Taylor, but my winning streak ended on Sunday evening.

"Do I have to?" I asked when Mom said we were having dinner together again. The one night a week she forced us into was quite enough for me.

She frowned and propped her arms on her hips. "Listen to me, young man. You should be thankful you have a family to try to avoid. Now go finish whatever it is you are doing and join us for dinner."

As I grudgingly obeyed her, I looked out my window to the spot where the old sour cherry tree used to be. I'd used it as my getaway route for many years before it dried up and they'd had to cut it. Tonight, I missed it more than ever before.

"There's our busy businessman," Taylor said when he zeroed in on me.

I sat across from him in my usual spot and ignored him. I had fresh bread sticks to distract me and they were good enough to tone down the bitter taste my brother always left.

"So, you spent the night at Parker's?"

I rolled my eyes at him and tried not to resent my mother. Why she had to tell him everything, I'd never understand.

"Van, is there something wrong with your mouth, dear? I swear it worked the last time we spoke." Mom smiled and patted my shoulder as she placed a bowl of salad in the middle of the table.

"I think it's my hearing that's not working. I could swear Taylor was talking, but nothing meaningful reached my ears."

She sighed and shook her head. "Stop being so harsh on your brother, Van. He's been through enough with this mess of a divorce."

"Through enough men? Sure."

"Van," Dad said, glaring at me. "Not at the dinner table."

Not ever, more like. Our parents liked to pretend Taylor was perfection personified. And they referred to his divorce as if it were this unavoidable calamity that had hit him. Like a hurricane or an earthquake. God forbid my brother learned to take responsibility for his actions!

Taylor smirked. I wanted to say something snarky, but what he'd said the last time we'd discussed Parker gnawed at me. I'd never heard my brother talk of his insecurities like that. I sighed and dropped the bread stick on my plate. "He wanted me to go with him to a movie marathon. Then we had pizza and watched another movie at his place."

Taylor squinted at me. "And then what?"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at him. "Then I slept in his guest bedroom, of course."

"Aw, poor Van. Even without me in the picture, you still can't close the deal, can you?"

I realized what I'd done when the half-eaten bread stick hit Taylor's forehead. Mom started to say something, but I put up my hand to stop her. I stood slowly and braced myself on the table, leaning over the salad and side dishes to glare at Taylor. "Parker is not a notch I want on my bed post, you dumb ass."

"Oh, that's right." He tapped a finger on his bottom lip. "You're in love with him. Have been for a long time. Tell me, did you throw a party when he left me?"

I huffed and sat back down. "I'm not heartless like you. You tore Parker to pieces. Who would celebrate something like that?"

"Enough," Dad said, hitting the corner of the table. "Your mother worked her butt off to prepare this meal. If you have no respect for each other, at least think of her."

Yup, that was my mom, the busy housewife... She could heat up a mean casserole though! Beyond that, she had someone cooking for her. She was too busy being the heart of every social event her fancy friends threw. There was always one charity or another she had to support, an issue dividing the school board, some artistic endeavor she decided to promote, and so the list went on. Slaving away in the kitchen didn't fit in her busy schedule.

Neither Taylor nor I had the guts to point that out. If we dared, there'd be tears and sobbing, and my father scolding us. We didn't agree on much, my brother and I, but we were on the same wave length when it came to Mom's teary outbursts. So we sat through a tense dinner glaring at each other as our parents chatted about their friends.

***

"Pizza and a movie tonight?"

I pressed the phone closer to my ear, as if that would preserve the sound of Parker's voice longer. "Sure. What time do you want me to come by?"

"I finish work in an hour. I need like thirty minutes to get home and shower, so any time after that?"

I grinned, already up and ruffling through my closet. "Sounds like a plan. Anything you want me to grab on the way?"

He hummed and then went silent for a few beats. "I can't remember how much beer I have at home. Can you get us some?"

"Sure, no problem." I scrambled for something else to say, but I wasn't fast enough. I didn't know why I dreaded his goodbye when I was going to see him later that day. It sent a jolt of mild pain right into my heart. Despite our promise to call each other when we needed it, weeks had passed. I'd wanted to reach out plenty of times, but I'd stopped myself. I couldn't help feeling like a perv, especially after Taylor's repeated jabs. Parker had no idea how much I wanted him. Was I taking advantage of his actual need to talk to a friend?

I couldn't worry about it now. I was too busy deciding what to wear. I went through a few pairs of dark jeans, then realized this wasn't a date. Why was I trying so hard? I sighed, stuck with the pair I'd just tried, and headed for the shower.

It felt like forever before I could finally drive to Parker's. I'd left early anyway, so I took a detour to a shop that wasn't on my normal route to his place to compensate. I browsed through all their beers and then ended up choosing what I usually got. And somehow managed to be late. Not that we'd set a fixed time, but I wasn't there in exactly an hour and a half since our phone call. So late.

"Hey, kid. Thanks for getting the beer." He took the six pack from me to stick it into the fridge.

Parker looked fresh and relaxed, his wet hair a little mussed. I licked my lips, then told myself to calm the fuck down. Parker always looked great, I should be used to being around him by now. Yet something in my stupid brain had snapped after the divorce. Everything I'd felt since my teenage years, all the lust and pining had grown exponentially and I could barely hold it together. My brother's mocking face materialized in my mind's eye and I immediately sobered up. I wasn't here to sleep with Parker. I was his friend, we were going to watch a movie, share a meal, and I'd listen to him if he wanted to talk. Nothing more.