Amy
“Hey, Amy! Wait up!” I turned around just as Dan skidded to a stop in front of me.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to ignore my phone vibrating in my pocket.
“Not much,” he said, still catching his breath. “Just, uh, wondering if you’re coming to the party tonight.”
“Oh,” I said. “No, I’m actually on my way out for the weekend. Going to my dad’s house.”
He nodded. “Oh, that’s cool.”
I nodded, feeling this conversation beginning to get awkward. I looked past his head to see Cassie and Mel slowing their pace, staring at us. I turned my focus back to Dan.
“So, anyways, I have to get going…” I said, trailing off.
“Right,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “See you Monday, Amy.”
I smiled. “See you.” I walked in the opposite direction and rolled my eyes. I felt like I was in high school all over again, getting stared at for talking to a cute boy. It was disappointing that college seemed to have the same drama. I was also disappointed that Cassie seemed to be right about Dan, which meant I would get the “I Told You So” lecture on Monday, along with many other torturing conversations I’d have to deal with.
My phone buzzed again, and this time I answered. “Hi, Mom!”
“Hi, sweetie. How’s it going? I haven’t heard from you at all this week.”
I sighed internally. “I’m sorry—it’s just been a bit crazy with projects. I’m on my way to Oak Park to visit Dad.”
“Again? Didn’t you see him last weekend?”
“Yep.” My stomach clenched and I readjusted my bag, waiting for my mom to say something else.
She didn’t, and I regretted being short with her. She was lonely.
“I’m sorry, Mom, but I have to go. I don’t have service underground.”
When I hung up, I let out a big sigh. I hadn’t seen my dad last week. This was the first time since I’d moved that I would even see his house. In three and a half months, he’d only found time to have lunch with me twice. Yet each week I told my mom I had seen him. I did it partly because I didn’t want her to be right about him. I was still giving him a chance to make time for me. I still had hope it would happen.
The station was crowded with people and suitcases going to the airport stop. The train always came and left so quickly that you felt like you had to jump on or risk missing it. It was tricky when the train was already filled with people. I hated standing on the trains, because I still wasn’t used to them like most of the other passengers were. My dad lived in Oak Park, fourteen stops away from me. It was the closest he’d ever been, but it felt no different than the fourteen hours that had separated us before.
My dad was waiting for me by the station doors and smiled when he saw me.
“Hello, Miss Amy.” He pulled me into a hug and led me out of the station with his arm around me.
I smiled. “It’s great to finally be here.”
He returned the smile. “I was thinking we could grab something to eat, maybe at the Cheesecake Factory?”
My dad had made reservations, so we didn’t have to wait long.
“So you only have about three weeks left of school, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I can’t wait for this semester to be over with.”
“That bad?” my dad asked, looking up from the cheesecake menu.
“No, it’s not that,” I said. “I’m just ready for different classes and a break.”
He nodded. “It’s a stressful field, and you’ll start to see your classmates dwindling as people who aren’t cut out for the hard work begin dropping out or changing majors.”
“Yeah, I hope I won’t be one of them.”
“You won’t be,” my dad reassured me. I didn’t think so either; my professors liked my work generally, and told me my work ethic was great and that I had potential. Sometimes I didn’t feel like I did, especially when I caught glimpses of Dan’s work. He was definitely cut out for this field and was ten steps ahead of everybody.
“Have you decided if you’re going home for Christmas or staying here?” my dad asked. I could tell he wanted it to come out nonchalantly, but I knew he was anxious to know whether or not to expect me for Christmas. I wondered if he actually wanted me to stay. I thought about my mom spending Christmas alone, her first Christmas without me, and I knew there was no way I could do that to her. She was alone, completely alone.
John never came home after the huge fight with Seth. He drove off after Seth stormed out of the house and after he realized I had heard everything.
My worry that he was gone for good seemed to hold true when, after my fight with Seth, I came back home to find the house dark and quiet.
“Mom?!” I called out. I didn’t get a reply and was about to call out again when I reached her bedroom and saw her. She was at the edge of the bed staring in the mirror. The mirror reflected the closet, and I looked through the mirror at my mom, tear stains on her cheek, and then at the closet. John’s side was completely empty. My mom was holding a letter.
“How could he keep this from us?” she choked. I could imagine what the letter said and knew that it affected her just as much if not more than me.
She told me later that she understood and could forgive him. She hoped he would come back when he was ready. I couldn’t understand how she could, but it was the first time that I saw how strong she was. I wasn’t sure I could forgive him if he did come back, just as I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive Seth.
“I’m going home for Christmas,” I told my dad, just as our food arrived.
“I don’t want Mom to spend Christmas alone, and I want to make sure she’s really doing okay. Her cheerful conversations on the phone aren’t very convincing.”
He nodded.
“Plus, I need some sun. This cold weather is ridiculous.”
He smiled. “Yeah, it takes some time adjusting to it.”
“It’s going to take a while for me to get used to it.”
My dad chuckled, then handed me the cheesecake menu. “I really do hope your mom is okay.”
I smiled and looked at the menu choice he had his finger on.
White Chocolate Raspberry. My mom’s favorite.
“For old time’s sake?” he said.
I looked at him and smiled. “Sounds perfect.”