After Conner graduates and before he ships out, we decide to take the weekend to be together. I’m better organized for this trip. I’ve pulled out extra cash so my parents won’t see a big bill. At some point I need to grow up and get a job. It makes me realize that at some level, if my checking account and credit cards are still attached to my mom, I can’t really call myself an adult.

None of the car rental places will rent to a twenty-two-year-old. Since I can’t ask Sam for his car, I get Jason, another member of my entourage, to lend me his. I promise to return it with the gas tank full and the car clean. Conner and I negotiate for days over where we’ll go and who’ll pay. Since he drove last time and paid for everything, I feel this time it’s my turn.

“You’re not going to let this go,” Conner admits after one more conversation. “If you pay for our room, then I’m going to take you to one of those fancy restaurants you like so much.”

“Didn’t you enjoy that restaurant we went to in Sonoma?”

“It was a lot better food then what I get from the army. But I’d be just as happy if we stopped someplace for a good burger.”

Even though my simple GI would probably be happy camping on the beach, I make reservations at a romantic Bed and Breakfast on the beach at Carmel by the Sea. I choose a room with French doors, that lead to a private patio, and has views of the ocean. My entire body is humming with excitement and desire as I drive down after class. We still talk every night, but it’s been six weeks since we’ve seen each other.

When I pass Santa Cruz I send Conner a text, twenty minutes later, I pull into the Togo’s parking lot. Conner’s already waiting on the bench in front. As soon as he sees me, he hoists his backpack over a shoulder, and heads my way. My breathing gets erratic and rapid…just from looking at him. Each step closer makes my body throb. By the time he opens the door, about all I can do is gasp. He throws his bag in the back, then slides into the passenger seat.

“Hey Liv.” His voice sends shivers down my spine.

I nod and smile, my voice isn’t even working. Whatever he does to me, it’s gotten more intense after our weekend up in Sonoma. He leans in and brushes my cheek with his finger.

I gasp…flinch…and shutter…Oh, my!

Instinctually I run my fingers over his shoulder, cupping his neck as our mouths collide. Shit, I didn’t realize you could get an O from looking at a guy and then kissing him. Whatever Conner has, it’s potent, if you could bottle his sex appeal, you’d make millions.

I finally pull away from the kiss, since I’m about five seconds from pulling off all of our clothes and screwing him in broad daylight in a fast food restaurant parking lot. The only sound that seems to come out of my mouth is a low moan, since it appears I’ve given up even trying to talk.

“I rented us a place in Carmel by the Sea,” I finally say. “They said we could have access to the room by three, considering it’s after three, I’m sure we can get in now.”

He doesn’t say anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I can tell he’s slowly nodding. I wonder if he’s as tongue-tied by this amazing sexual energy as me? I drive the remaining ten minutes to where we are staying in blown away silence.

“Swanky,” Conner whistles under his breath as we pull into the driveway.

It’s moments like this that I realize how differently we were raised and how different are our expectations. The Bed and Breakfast is a series of low-slung cottage style buildings that looks like they would fit perfectly in the English countryside. The cottage style grounds are laid out with paths of crushed granite between beds covered with late blooming spring flowers. Conner leaves his bag in the car as he escorts me to the office. I hand them my credit card confirming that they won’t charge anything to it until we check out. I’ll use the wad of cash in my purse to cover the cost of the room, this way my mom won’t find out. The nice woman behind the counter hands us a key, as in a real, old-fashioned, metal key.

“Breakfast is served from seven until ten and afternoon tea will be available for the next thirty minutes,” she politely explains.

 “Let’s check out their tea.”

“Liv, our bedroom’s ready.”

“I think I’d like to see what sweets they have first.”

Conner shakes his head and follows me to the main room. It has a set of large French doors that open to a patio with spectacular views of the Pacific Ocean. The room is decorated in muted colors with a large hearth and upholstered furniture set in groups for easy talking. There are other couples in the room, all of which must be twenty to thirty years older than us. On a banquet is a large coffee pot, tea pot, and several china servings plates filled with delicious looking homemade cookies, and cakes. On another table is a bottle of Prosecco and champagne glasses.

“I think we should start our vacation off with some Prosecco,” I declare. I pour us each a glass and hand one to him. “To our weekend,” I toast as I clink my glass to his.

Even though I want to say, to us, or maybe to being together in the Middle East. Months ago we talked about possible choices for my gap year. Even so, I have yet to tell Conner about my application to UNESCO in Jordan. I figured I would leave that special information until this weekend.

 “It’s a kind of wine but with bubbles?” Conner comments after taking a sip.

“Yes it is. Do you like it?”

He takes another sip. “Not bad, but I think I still prefer beer.”

“Let’s see about the desserts.” This is my weakness, since I love anything sweet. With a china plate in hand I choose a variety of desserts. “Let’s share, do you want to sit outside?”

Conner nods as he takes my glass while I carry the plate. We sit down on a love seat with the view of the ocean and the sound of the crashing sea. Our legs touch and our fingers brush against each other as the sexual energy between us grows even more fevered.

Now this is fun. I’ve always been into delayed gratification. I think it heightens the experience by being close, flirting, teasing, but being in a location where we need some restraint. Within a bite, we’re feeding each other the sweets. As our bodies get so close, I assume we will soon be asked to leave.

“We need to find that room,” he murmurs as his lips graze my cheek and his voice rumbles in my ear.

“I’m ready whenever you are.”

“I’ve been ready since I got in the car.”

Conner takes the plate out of my hand, places it on the table. Then determinedly walks us towards our room.

“Where’s our room?” I question in frustration on our third lap around the small compound.

“Is this some kind of test in restraint?” Conner complains. “12, 14, 16 … 18 should be here. Shit Liv, I’m going to do it to you against the ice machine if we don’t find that room. Who numbered this place?” He grabs my hand a little tighter and pulls us over to the odd number buildings.

“Why is 18 between 17 and 19?”

“It’s the only even number in a building with all the odd numbers,” he exclaims as he drops my hand and starts struggling with the key.

As soon as Conner opens the door, it feels like he flings me through the air since I find myself on the bed, our mouths connect as we try to devour each other. It’s a good thing we’re in a one story building since if we were on the second floor, we’d disturb the people below.

“I want you so bad,” he moans.

It takes no time for the two of us to get naked.

“If we’re doing it on the bedspread…how clean can it be?” I question.

Conner groans. He quickly throws the comforter off and exposes the sheets before I let us continue. Then his mouth, hands, and fingers are all over me as I gasp and plead from the sensations that engulf me. His hands leave my body as he frantically reaches around.

“What are you looking for?” I moan out.

“My pants, my condoms.”

We both frantically search, eventually finding them twisted into the covers. Conner sits up and rolls on the condom, I straddle him, taking his dick in my hand and running it along my folds.

“I want you so bad,” I whisper into his ear as I grasp his broad neck.

Looking down between our two bodies, I watch as we merge while I control the speed and depth. Conner places his hands on my hips and lifts me up and down along the length of his dick. Then he heightens my experience by using his thumb to stimulate my clit. As the rate increases, I can feel the sensations roll through my body, as my legs begin to uncontrollably twitch, and my orgasm grows.

As Conner’s pace becomes frantic, I watch his face contort and his eyes squint as he begins to moan. A wonderful sensation runs through me, as orgasmic waves continue to build. With my legs wrapped firmly around his hips and my arm wrapped firmly around his shoulders and neck, I force our bodies to remain tied together.

“Liv, I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

A wave of melancholy washes over me as I wonder how I will make it till I see him next. If I get the UNESCO job I still have to be trained in Switzerland, then shipped out to Jordan, and even then, I don’t even know if I’ll be near Conner.

Conner leans back against the pillows, bringing me with him. As I lay across his well-built chest I decide this is the time to tell him my plans.

“You know I’ve decided to take a year off before medical school.”

“Have you figured out what you’ll do?”

“I’ve applied at UNESCO. They’re building a new settlement camp in Jordan for Syrian refugees.”

His entire body gets hard. He lifts me up by my shoulders so I am looking him in the eye. “What the fuck have you done Liv?” His face displays equal part anger and concern.

“I’ve made a decision to take a year off and help out people that the world doesn’t think is their problem. People who are genetically related to me. People who I share a language with.”

“The Middle East is a dangerous place. Living in the desert is hard. This is not summer camp or a weekend of camping. There’re dangerous people in those camps. Desperate people in those camps.”

“Terrorists aren’t in the camps.”

“Liv, when you take everything away from someone, have them watch people they love die, you turn a civilized person into someone who is willing to steal, kill, or die too easily. You’re way too naive and way too spoiled to be living in one of those camps.”

“There are families living in those camps. If mothers and children can live there, so can I.”

“Yes, but they don’t have anything anyone else wants. You reek of money and privilege, which makes you a huge target. Even if you’re not kidnaped, anything and everything you own will be stolen. Desperate people, who are trying to survive will do anything. You might help them in the afternoon and in the night time, they’ll gladly steal from you.”

“You underestimate me. I grew up on the mean streets of Manhattan.”

“With a silver spoon, taking cabs, shopping in designer stores, and going to private schools. Knowing how to show your boobs to get your underage ass into a club or giving some guy a blow job at the age of sixteen, doesn’t make you knowledgeable for living in the desert, surrounded by desperate people.”

“You can do it, women soldiers can do it. They can live in the desert, in much more dangerous situations than me. UNESCO provides security for their workers, along with food and housing.”

Soldiers are trained, heavily trained to deal with these circumstances. We also have the entire military behind us and the soldiers in our platoon at our sides.”

I place my ear on his chest and feel his beating heart against my cheek. His warmth envelops me as his hands gently rub my back. “Oh Liv,” he sighs. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Love me, be with me,” I whisper into the air.