I’m still in the filing room, leafing through the copy of The Sound and the Fury that Katie had left behind. It’s not nearly as captivating as the book of Neruda poems but there are a couple lines from it that have caught my attention.
“I am not one of those women who can stand things.”
I never used to think I was a woman who could stand things either. Yet here I am, working at a law firm when I no longer have to be, just because I want to be around my boss. Who likes to tie me up. And train me to do what he wants.
And then there’s this line: “She loved him not only in spite of but because he himself was incapable of love.”
I guess Cameron Sanchez has really changed me. I put up with a lot because of him. Do I want to be around him because I can’t have him— because, as Katie suspects— he’s a player? Someone incapable of love?
I’m pondering this question when Cameron himself walks in. I look up, happy that he’s come to find me even though I’ve been avoiding him, trying to figure out what to do. But then I see that Asher Marks is with him.
“Hello, Ruby,” Cameron says. “Asher wanted to ask you something.”
He sees my expression and adds, “You’re not in any trouble.”
But it sure feels like I am.
“What’s this?” Asher asks, reaching above me and pulling something off the shelf.
He holds his hand out to Cameron to see.
It’s Katie’s vape pen. Great.
“I don’t know,” Cameron says. “Ruby?”
I look at it, silently willing him to just trust me. But he’s looking back at me as if I’ve betrayed him.
I know that older guys are weird about pot but I didn’t know that a vape pen was still that huge of a deal to them these days. Even if it was mine. Which it isn’t. But I’m not about to rat out Katie.
I’m really not sure what to say. I don’t want to pretend I have no idea what it is, because that would be an outright lie. I’ve already lied to Cameron enough by omission, and other people here directly. I’m sick of all the lies. But I’m also not about to be a snitch.
I try to take a middle road.
“It appears to be a vape pen,” I say.
It’s a technically correct answer.
“For tobacco?” Asher asks.
“Could be.”
Again, a technically correct answer.
Asher smells it.
“It doesn’t smell like a vape pen,” Asher says. “It smells like marijuana.”
I look at him, and at Cameron who is still searching my face.
“Could be for that too,” I tell them. “All I know is, it isn’t mine, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Ruby, come on,” Cameron explodes, obviously upset with me. “You really expect us to believe that?”
“Yes,” I tell him.
Although, why should he? There are other things I’ve said that he shouldn’t believe. So, I don’t really blame him for not believing me, even if it’s about the wrong thing.
“We come down here and find you just sitting in the corner reading a book and there’s a vape pen on the shelf right above you,” Cameron says. “How do you think that looks?”
“Not good,” I answer.
Which is a very, very technically correct answer.
“If it’s not yours, whose is it then?” Cameron asks.
“I… can’t answer that,” I tell him.
“If you can’t answer that then you are going to find yourself out of a job,” Asher says.
I look at Cameron. Now I’m getting a little upset. Sure, I know whose vape pen it is but what if I didn’t? How could I prove a negative?
“I’m not going to be able to answer that,” I tell them.
Asher shakes his head as if he’s dumbfounded and Cameron shakes his as if he can’t believe he trusted me. I don’t really blame him.
“Ruby, get your things,” Cameron says.
His fists are clenched as tightly as his jaw. I know he doesn’t want to do this. But neither does he want to stand by and let Asher do it without being able to protest or save my job.
He’s a man of decision and action, which are traits I’ve always admired about him. I can’t exactly be mad at him for exercising those traits now.
I nod at him and he walks out the door with Asher.
I’m left alone, near the same spot he tied me up and took me. Trained me. Taught me what it was like to really be with a man.
And now it’s all over.
I guess it was better off this way. I don’t belong here anyway. I can’t believe I even managed to pass myself off as a suitable law firm employee and get the gig. It was all temporary and now it’s over and luckily I don’t even need the job like I once did.
But I do need Cameron. And I feel as if I belonged with him. Belonged to him.
I guess I was wrong.