CHAPTER 17
Kade couldn’t believe this was happening. He would’ve pinched himself to convince his mind that this was real and not just another fantasy if he could bear to tear his hands away from Ali’s body for even one split second. He couldn’t, though. That was a nonstarter.
Fuck.
He’d said that he was going to be there for her. That he was going to make up for all the shit he’d pulled and all the pain he’d caused. He’d promised himself that he wasn’t going to do this.
And yet, here they were.
He might’ve been able to do it, too, if it hadn’t been for one thing: Keaton Fucking Mills.
He’d been trying to burn off his excess energy by pummeling the speed bag hanging beside the pool table when he’d seen headlights shine through the basement windows. He’d gone upstairs wondering who it could be since Ali had walked to work. When he looked out the window he’d seen Keaton wrap his arm around her and help her up the walk.
Something snapped in Kade.
As if being around her 24 hours a day, living in the same house, wasn’t enough temptation to take down a fucking saint’s resolve, seeing her in the arms of another man was just too much for anyone to take.
So now there he was, in her kitchen, kissing her. Touching her. And there was zero doubt in his mind that before the night was over, he would be making love to her.
He’d broken his promise to himself when it came to staying away from her. Now it became doubly important that he keep his promise not to hurt her. Not that he thought that would be a problem, considering how he felt about her. She was it for him. He was completely gone, head over heels. He wanted to be with her forever; take care of the boys and be a family.
Maybe tonight could be the first step toward that goal. He’d always been more of a physical guy anyway. Maybe his body could tell her how he felt in a way that his words hadn’t been able to yet.
He tore his mouth from hers and kissed his way down her neck. Fuck, her pulse was pounding so hard that he thought her heart might actually beat right out of her chest.
Her whimpers and sighs filled his ears, letting him know how badly she wanted him. Her fingers twisted in his hair as she arched her back, offering herself up like the hottest Creamsicle he’d ever seen. As much as he wanted to lick her until he got to her cream center, he knew he had to make sure they were on the same page.
He straightened and used both hands to brush the hair back that had fallen around her face. She opened her eyes slightly and met his, and the jolt that rocked his heart at that moment was earth shattering.
“I want you, Ali. I want to be with you.” Every bit of his heart was in that statement. He was handing it to her on a silver platter, being vulnerable in a way that didn’t come naturally to him. “Not just tonight. I want more. I want everything.”
But, at his words, he saw uncertainty flicker in her eyes. He didn’t blame her, but it shook him.
“Whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. How about you just go back to kissing me and making me feel better?” Her voice was light, the half-smile on her lips teasing him. Underneath her joking façade, he could see the fear in her eyes. She wasn’t ready to hear his promises now. She didn’t want to hear a lot of pretty talk about what the future would hold. She just wanted him to make her feel good right now. And that, he could definitely do.
He grinned as he tugged the material of her strapless dress down, revealing her perfect, rounded breasts. She looked down as he traced the outline of her nipple. “Does this hurt?”
“Yes,” her voice was threaded with need.
Leaning down, he covered her knotted peaks with his mouth, pulling them one by one into the wet suction. He flicked them with his tongue and nipped them with his teeth. Her hips jerked, pressing her soaking-wet panties against his straining erection. His shaft throbbed in his sweats, threatening to break free of the fabric bounds that held it so tight.
As he sucked on her nipples, he thought about what it would feel like to feel her hands on him. Her lips. And, oh fuck, her inner walls when he finally plunged into her. His head was spinning and his dick ached and throbbed even more acutely than before.
Kade continued to lavish attention on her bare chest as she rocked her sex against his, dry humping, or in this case wet humping him until he was ready to burst. Her hands tugged his shirt up so she could touch his skin. He ducked under it as she yanked it off over his head and shoved his face back into her chest.
“I want you inside me. Now.”
He loved that she was being so bold. Demanding exactly what she wanted.
She gasped as her hands fisted in his hair while he licked, sucked, nipped, and kissed her pebble-hard tips. He tried to hold off. He wanted to draw this encounter out as long as possible. He’d dreamed of it for so long that he never wanted it to end. He needed to kiss every inch of her body. So, he ignored her request and continued worshipping her breasts.
She moaned and pleaded for several more minutes, writhing beneath his attention and he was sure then that he could make her come just like this. But she had other ideas in mind. She reached beneath them, slid her uninjured hand into his sweats and wrapped her fingers around his rock-hard cock and looked him straight in the eyes.
“Now. I want you inside me now.”
And that was it. His thin thread of control snapped. He pushed down his sweats and tugged her panties off. When they cleared her feet and hit the floor, a realization hit him. “Fuck.”
“Yes please,” she nodded.
“No,” He shook his head. “I don’t have a condom.”
“Fuck.” Her eyes widened.
They stared at one another, their heavy pants the only sound in the quiet house.
She was the first to break their silent standoff. “I have an IUD.”
He’d never had sex without protection and at the suggestion of it, his dick jumped.
“I’m clean.” He’d been tested in rehab and hadn’t been with anyone since he’d been sober.
She reached out and once again wrapped her fingers around his girth.
He closed his eyes as every muscle in his body tightened like a rubber band being stretched to its limit. “Are you sure?”
She didn’t answer at first. Instead, he felt her tug him closer to her and he opened his eyes in time to see her position his cock at her entrance.
“Yes. I’m sure.” She lifted her eyes to his as she rubbed his engorged tip up and down the seam of her entrance. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He covered her hand with his and they both moved the broad head of his cock up and down her arousal-soaked lips. With each pass, he grew harder as he watched the smooth skin of his crown glisten with her juices.
“I want you. Now. Please—,” she whimpered.
He gripped her hip with one hand and thrust into her tight canal in one powerful stroke and her words turned into an unintelligible cry. Her body resisted him at first and he stilled. He could feel her inner walls suction around him like a vacuum.
He rested his forehead against hers and remained still, allowing her time to adjust to him. When he felt her thighs relax, he pushed further in, burying himself to up to his balls and he felt the telltale signs of his release already tingling in them.
He opened his eyes and warned, “This isn’t going to last long.”
Her eyes flashed with challenge. “If you don’t fuck me already I’m going to—”
Kade never found out what she would do because he pulled out of her and pushed back in, cutting off her threat. He lost himself as he pumped in and out of her, his fingers digging into the flesh of her hips. Time seemed to lose any semblance of meaning in his mind. It could’ve been a minute or it could’ve been an hour. Nothing existed except Ali and him, and the way that they were making each other feel.
Even in this “quickie-style” situation, he felt so much more than just sexual energy flowing between them. With every thrust, he felt like it was more than just his physical body connecting with her. It was like his soul was being injected into hers.
He’d never felt anything like this before. This was special, what he felt for Ali. And he was more than ready to put in whatever work was necessary to make things right between them, so they could move forward together. Now that he’d tasted her, kissed her, been inside of her, he couldn’t go back to what they were before.
Keeping one hand fixed hard on her hips, he slid the other farther up her body. The heat of her soft skin felt amazing under his rough palms. So did the way her muscles shook and trembled under his touch.
“Yes, yes, yes,” she whispered as her nails dug into his shoulders as she anchored her grip there.
When her inner walls finally clenched, bearing down so hard on his cock that he could hardly thrust into her anymore, her entire body began to shake with release. Then he let himself go and emptied into her as she also exploded in an earth-shattering orgasm. Every muscle in his body contracted as they reached that all-powerful climax. He wrapped his arms around her tight, not wanting to ever let her go.
It was such a contrast for him. As everything simultaneously became blurry and twisted, they also became perfectly clear. He knew with more certainty than ever that Ali was his one and only. At the same time was confused about the steps he’d have to take to make sure they ended up together. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was exactly where he was supposed to be but was confused about how much longer he’d be able to stay in the limbo of the uneasy balance he had with Ali.
His final conscious thought before he spun out into oblivion was that he wasn’t sure if he’d done enough, used his actions to let her know once and for all how he truly felt. He could only hope that if he hadn’t, he’d get another shot. And another. And another.