CHAPTER 20
Ali sat on the picnic table in the courtyard next to the rental shop and tried to focus on the Excel spreadsheet in front of her. Since she’d always planned on running the rental shop with her brother, she’d gone to college for accounting and business management. And she’d graduated with honors. This should be the part of her job she excelled at, no pun intended. But she wasn’t doing a very good job. She kept getting distracted, checking Facebook and Twitter, or mindlessly surfing the web.
Not that it mattered. It’s not like she was getting much work done anyway. Her mind kept wandering to the same place.
Kade.
She’d never understood the true agony of something being so close and yet so far before. He was a carrot dangling in front of her; her wildest fantasies wrapped up in the perfect male specimen that she’d been in love with her entire life.
Irritation and resentment bubbled just beneath the surface. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up her facade. She ran her hands through her hair and reminded herself that although Kade was the reason for her aggravation, it wasn’t his fault. It was her situation.
She tried to be grateful. She was alive. The sun was shining. Birds were chirping. Spring break kicked off tomorrow and the weather was supposed to be in the nineties all week. Tourists would come in droves and people would be out on the lake, and that meant dollar signs for her. The boys were out with Ethan on their dirt bikes for the first time since their dad had been gone and that was something she hadn’t been sure would ever happen again. And she and KJ’s relationship seemed to be getting back to normal. They’d had real conversations where he volunteered information and even asked her questions and laughed at her corny jokes. She’d forgotten how much she missed his laugh.
She should be happy. Elated even. But instead, she was anxious, antsy, and borderline miserable.
“Hey there, beautiful. How’s the ankle?”
Ali turned and saw Laura Lopez sidle up beside her. The brunette beauty ran The Snack Shack housed in the building adjacent to hers.
“It’s better. I can put weight on it now.” She’d been icing it all week at Kade’s insistence. He was a broken record reminding her to keep it elevated and wasn’t letting her do anything herself. He’d been waiting on her hand and foot at home and accompanying her to work every day where he insisted on doing all the lifting, heavy or otherwise. It was driving her crazy. And not in a good way.
“Well, thank goodness Kade came home when he did. I’ve noticed he’s been doing a lot around here.”
That statement was like nails on the chalkboard of Ali’s soul.
She bit her tongue and inhaled slowly through her nose, doing her best to keep her face neutral as she made a noncommittal noise, “Mmm.”
Kade had been back in Whisper Lake exactly one week. Seven days and people were acting as if he were literally a knight in shining freaking armor. Every time she turned around someone was telling her how lucky she was that he was there. People kept saying how great he was with the boys. There was practically a choir singing his praises about the manual labor he was doing around the shop. Manual labor that she’d been unable to do because of her injury and which she’d tried to hire other people to do.
It wasn’t that Ali didn’t appreciate all Kade had done. His skills in the kitchen alone were enough to earn him brownie points in her book. She hadn’t had to choke down a barely-edible home-cooked meal in seven days. And there was life and laughter in the house again. KJ’s room was somewhat clean. Ricky was talking more. Yesterday morning she’d woken to KJ mowing the lawn and when she went downstairs Kade was sparring with Ricky.
The list went on and on and they were all incredible developments. Kade had accomplished a ton in a week.
But it was one week.
What about the seventy-eight weeks that she’d been there?
It wasn’t that she wanted credit for taking care of literally everything and not having a nervous breakdown. It was just that she was tired of people acting as if she should be grateful for Kade because they never would’ve survived without him.
Were things easier with Kade there? Sure.
Did she have everything under control before he got there? Yes.
Barely, but yes.
Before he’d returned people had either treated her with pity, or like she should be nominated for sainthood. Now everyone was treating her like a princess who’d been rescued from a tower. No one needed to feel sorry for her. Many people had it a lot worse than her. And she certainly was no saint. But she also wasn’t some damsel in distress that needed him to slay dragons for her.
All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, to be treated like she was normal, but she was beginning to think she didn’t even know what that was anymore. Lately her normal was simply trying to avoid Kade because being around him was absolute torture.
“Kade’s been staying with you, right?” Laura twisted the cap off her bottled water as she committed one of Ali’s biggest pet peeves, asking a question she already knew the answer to.
“Mmm, hmm.”
“It must be nice having him around.” Laura winked before taking a sip of her water.
“Mmm.” She made another sound instead of using her words and hoped that Laura would get the hint.
“I wouldn’t throw him out of my bed, if you know what I mean.”
Yep. She did know what she meant. Ali had thrown him out of her bed.
“I thought the two of you might have something going on but then I heard that he’s been looking for his own place.”
This was not new information to Ali. Kade told her that Kennedy had shown him some properties the day before. But she didn’t want to discuss it with him and she sure as heck didn’t want to discuss it with Laura.
The woman clearly wasn’t picking up on Ali’s whole vibe so she opted for silence as she stared at her computer.
Laura scooted closer and rested her hand on Ali’s forearm. “You know I’m not one to gossip.”
In Ali’s experience, anyone who started a sentence with “I’m not” usually “was.” And there was usually a “but” that followed.
“But…a…
There it is.
“little birdy told me that she saw Kennedy and Kade cozying up at Bite Me.”
Bite Me was Whisper Lake’s answer to Subway. The community had done its level best to keep chain restaurants and stores from infiltrating the city limits. Part of the sleepy town’s charm was its Mom and Pop establishments.
“You know they used to date in high school?”
Yeah. Ali was aware. Unfortunately, she’d had a front row seat to the Kade and Kennedy show. They broke up and got back together so many times it gave Ali relationship whiplash. Every time the two of them would split, hope would bloom in her heart. Then they’d get back together and rototill her hope flowers.
“My friend said they were very cozy.”
Ali did her best not to roll her eyes. It must be a slow week if Kade and Kennedy eating lunch was making the front page of the Gossip Gazette.
“Has Kade mentioned anything about it?”
Yes, he had. One of the steps in his program was making amends, and he’d told her he’d done that with Kennedy. He said that it had gone well. And the entire time he’d been telling her that, the only thing Ali could think about was wanting him to shut up, grab her, and kiss her. And that irritated her more than this conversation.
“Nope.” Ali shut her computer and carefully swung her foot over the bench. “I’ve got inventory to do. I’ll see you later.”
“Is Kade around?”
“Last I saw he was down at the dock.” She’d tried to tell him she didn’t need his help, but he’d insisted. So, she gave him a to-do list a mile long. She may not need him, but she could at least take advantage of the opportunity. Besides, if he was busy with errands, it was easier to avoid him. So far, it had been working.
“Tell him to stop by and see me anytime. He can have my special strawberry shake on the house.”
Ali was sure that wasn’t all Kade could have.
She had to give Laura credit, the woman was an eternal optimist. She was a two-time divorcée and was definitely looking to walk down the aisle again. She kept saying, “Third time’s the charm.”
Ali had no plans to get married, but if she did and it didn’t work out twice, she would probably throw in the towel. People like Laura intrigued her. Life knocked her down and yet she sprung right back up like a weighted, inflatable punching bag. No matter how hard you punched it, it popped right back up like nothing had happened.
When life knocked Ali down, she got up again, but it was more like an elderly person getting up from a chair after sitting a long time. It was slow, awkward, and she never really stood up straight.
Laura pointed a sky-blue acrylic-tipped finger at Ali. “Don’t forget to tell Kade. Strawberry shake.”
“Got it.”
That was another thing that was getting on Ali’s nerves. People kept wanting her to tell Kade things. She hadn’t passed on this many messages since she was in seventh grade. Just like her sexual frustration and irritation at how lucky people thought she was, people using her as their personal telegram service wasn’t Kade’s fault. Logically she knew that. Emotionally, it was another story.
Ali was doing everything she could not to let Kade know that she had a boatload of resentment with his name on it. He didn’t deserve her emotional cargo. She’d tried to be extra nice to him whenever he was around. He’d kept asking her what was wrong, kept trying to make sure she was okay, and she kept telling him nothing was wrong and she was fine. The issues she was dealing with were her own and she didn’t want him to feel like she was unhappy he was there.
She wasn’t. She had mixed feelings about it. Feelings that she was sure a therapist would have a field day with. But since she didn’t have a therapist, she’d been solely relying on humming therapy. It might not solve anything but it did brighten her mood.
* * *
Kade had just finished stocking sunscreen on the bottom shelf when he heard the back door slam. In the reflection on one of the displays he saw Ali walking down the aisle toward the front of the shop. She was humming, something he’d noticed she did a lot the past week. It was strange, most people hummed when they were happy, but he got the feeling that it was the opposite for Ali.
She’d been acting strange for days. Since they’d spent the night together, honestly. The real Ali was feisty, demanding, and competitive. This Ali said little but always said it with a sweet voice and a fake smile. This Ali reminded him of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Kade stood to let her know that he’d completed the final task on the list she’d given him a few days ago but when he opened his mouth no words came out.
The setting sun was streaming through the front window and it cast an ethereal mist around her as she walked toward him. Her dark blonde hair fell in soft waves around her face and he wanted to thread his fingers through it. Her skin glowed in the golden rays that bathed her. Her eyes were a translucent amber that captivated Kade in a way that nothing else did.
When those captivating eyes met his she jumped and her laptop flew out of her hands. “Ahh!”
On pure instinct, Kade reached out and grabbed it.
“What are you doing?!” she gasped.
“Stocking the sunscreen. And saving your laptop.”
With one hand still clutched to her chest she used the other to swat his arm. “You scared the shit out of me!”
That was the Ali he knew. Spunky. Fiery. Swatty.
He couldn’t help but grin down at her. “Sorry. I was just going to tell you that I finished the list.”
She blinked up at him, tried to regain her composure, and inhaled slowly. He saw her switch back.
“Thanks.” Reaching out she pulled the rescued computer from his arms. “For everything,” she said with her sweet alien-invaded Ali smile. And with that, she headed into her office.
“What’s going on with you?” he asked as he followed her inside.
Her tone was kind but impersonal as she answered him. “Just going to finish up here and then drop the boys’ stuff over at Ryder’s, they called to ask if they could spend the—”
“No. I mean, what’s going on with you? Why are you acting like…?” He paused. He wasn’t sure how to put her odd behavior into words.
She spun around to face him, her brow furrowed. “Acting like what?”
Seeing a glimpse of the real Ali gave him the incentive to say exactly what he was feeling. “Like a Stepford Wife.”
Her mouth fell open, but then it closed again.
“That’s what I mean.” He clarified. “Just say it. Ever since we had sex it’s like you’re scared to talk to me.”
“Oh. My. God.”
Anger radiated off of her as she set her laptop down on the desk beside her. She looked like she was about to rip him a new one and he had to fight the smile that threatened to show on his lips. He’d felt so off-balance this entire week not knowing what was going on in her head, what she was feeling.
He’d never felt as lost as he had these past few days, not even when he’d hit rock bottom. Because he’d always had her. Whether she knew it or not, she’d been a lighthouse in the storm of his life. And he didn’t know how to navigate without her.
“Do you honestly think that sleeping with you made me a…” She lifted her fingers in bunny ear quotes. “‘Stepford Wife?’”
“I don’t know if that’s what made you act like a Stepford Wife, but I honestly think that’s what you have been acting like since we had sex.”
“You are un-freaking-believable.” Her hands fisted at her sides and the fighter in him braced himself for a punch, but then she relaxed her shoulders and her fingers uncurled from her palms. In a measured tone she calmly stated, “I’ve been trying to be nice to you.”
“I don’t want you to try to be nice to me. I just want you to be real. I want the real Ali.”
“You want the real Ali?!” she asked through a forced laugh.
“Yes.”
“Do you know what I want, Kade?!”
“No. I don’t. I have no idea because you’re too busy being polite to tell me. And I hate it, Ali.”
“Well, guess what? It hasn’t been a walk in the park for me either.” She let out a harsh puff of air and started to walk around him.
“Wow.” He stepped to the side to get out of her way and made sure his tone conveyed just a touch of pity. “I never thought I’d see the day that Allison Walsh backed down from a fight.”
He knew he was taking a risk challenging her, but he felt like he had no other choice. He’d tried talking to her. Several times. He’d tried to give her space and time, but that only seemed to make it worse.
At this point, pissing her off was his last resort.