CHAPTER 8
The tires ate up the gravel as Kade turned onto the unmarked road that was all but hidden off the highway. An uneasy feeling settled low in his stomach as he drove down the narrow path lined on both sides by weeping willow trees. As a kid, it reminded him of a horror movie. As an adult though, he could see the beauty in the drooping branches and lush green leaves. Maybe his early impression had more to do with what awaited him at the end of the drive than the ominous vegetation.
Heat from the sun beating down through his windshield warmed his hands as he rolled into the desolate clearing. A lone double-wide sat in the middle of a dirt area against a backdrop of trees and junk. The piles of debris had doubled since the last time he’d been there. He stared at the landscape of his childhood. The rusted broken-down truck sat off to the left. Beside it was a picnic table that was tipped on its side. A tire pyramid covered in spider webs lined the right side of the property and in front of it sat the faded, plaid couch that had never managed to make it in the trailer.
Ah. Home sweet home.
As much as he was dreading this visit, Kade knew it was a necessary evil. It had been a good ten years since he’d seen the man that had given him fifty percent of his DNA. It had been easy to avoid him when he only came to town for a few days at a time, but now that he was going to be living here it wouldn’t be so easy. The last thing he’d want to happen was to run into George when he was with the twins or Ali.
Depending on the day and level of inebriation, his old man could make a scene like no other.
His heart pounded hard in his chest as he got out of the truck. Adrenaline raced through his veins. He reminded himself that he wasn’t his dad’s punching bag anymore. He was a grown-ass man and the last fight that George McKnight had picked with his son had landed the old man in the hospital. Kade had been sixteen at the time and his father had wanted to press charges against him. The only problem with that was in his statement George admitted to hitting Kade first and the police officer informed him that Kade’s actions were self-defense.
While his father had lain in that hospital bed, Kade promised him that if he ever hit him again, he would either end up in a grave or in jail. George must’ve believed him because they never had another altercation.
It hadn’t always been as bad as it got. George had always been a firm believer that sparing the rod spoiled the child. Kade had always been scared of his dad, the man was built like a brick wall and was intimidating. As a kid Kade got spanked when his dad thought he stepped out of line. But as he got older his punishments stopped being about his behavior and started being more about his dad’s violent outbursts.
The worst part was, Kade never knew when they were coming or what would trigger them. Sometimes it would be months between incidents, and sometimes it would be only days or weeks. By the time he was a rebellious teen he purposely provoked his dad just so he wouldn’t have to live with the sinking feeling of uncertainty of not knowing when the next time would be. It was like he lived with a ticking time bomb and sometimes he would light the fuse so it would blow.
Kade rolled his shoulders back and lifted his hand to knock on the fiberglass door with the diamond-shaped window in the center when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He looked to his right and saw a gorgeous, gray dog chained up lifting his leg and pissing on the side of the trailer. He had a stocky build and wide head, a pit mix of some kind. His long tongue flopped out of his mouth and his breaths were labored.
“Hey bud.” Kade approached him with caution.
His tail wagged rapidly in the dirt and the closer Kade got, the faster it went. He had a collar but no tag. Kade stopped in front of him and held out the back of his hand. The dog tentatively inched forward and sniffed it briefly before giving it a good lick and then flopping on his back to expose his belly.
He bent down and gave him a good belly rub and that’s when he noticed the steel bowl turned over beside him. He picked it up and turned it upright. It had been in the nineties all day and the dog’s water bowl was dry as a bone.
How could anyone have a living animal, chained up in this heat, and not have water or shade for them?
“Asshole.” Kade muttered as he stood and grabbed the hose that was in a pile a few feet away. “Not you,” he clarified to the dog, who seemed to miss his belly-rubber.
The same tension that knotted in his shoulders when he was about to enter the cage curled in his muscles as he bent down and twisted the four-pronged knob on the spout. He tried to relax as he heard the swish of the water flowing from the faucet through the green tubing. This conversation, or confrontation depending on George’s demeanor was going to be difficult enough as it was, he didn’t need to go into it primed for a fight.
He filled the bowl to the top and placed it back on the ground as he patted the dog on the head. “I’ll be back,” he promised as the pup lapped up the water.
He only had an hour before the boys got out of school and he wanted to be there to pick them up. If he showed up late he was sure they would call Ali, and he didn’t want her to be bothered. Jess had filled him in on some of what KJ had been up to the past few months—after she’d threatened to castrate him if he “pulled another Houdini and hurt Ali”—and he didn’t want to leave any room for him to get into trouble and wreck Ali’s day.
Ali.
Just thinking about her had his body relaxing. She’d always been the bright spot in his life. Even before he’d realized that he had feelings for her, she’d always been able to make him smile, laugh, and forget about any bad shit that was going on. She and Patrick were the only constants he could depend on in his chaotic life. And now he only had Ali.
He knew no matter what he did she’d always be there for him, even if “being there” meant telling him he was being an idiot, which she had no problem doing. She was his safe place.
Now it was his time to return the favor. He needed to take whatever burdens he could off of her. So, it was time to get this over with and get back to what really mattered: Ali and the boys.
He turned to face the trailer once more.
No expectations, he reminded himself.
He called on what he’d learned in recovery to change the things he could and accept the things he couldn’t. He couldn’t change his dad, but he could change how he responded to him. All Kade could do was focus on controlling himself and his side of the conversation.
He rolled his head from side to side, blew out a breath, and shook his arms to release the negative energy.
When he closed his hand in a fist and knocked three times on the door, he still wasn’t sure he was ready to face what was on the other side, but he knew he didn’t have a choice.
Indistinguishable sounds came from inside before the door squeaked open. When it did, Kade took a step back. The man standing in front of him had the same dark gray eyes as George McKnight, the same strong jaw and arrow-straight nose, but the rest of him was unrecognizable.
At six foot four carrying a broad, muscular frame and a cold, menacing stare, his father was the type of man that people parted for when he walked down the street. The type of man that other men looked away from first. The type of man that walked into a room and the entire place quieted down.
When his dad was younger, someone had given him the nickname “Outlaw.” In Nashville, stories about George “Outlaw” McKnight were legendary. He’d made a man piss his pants with just a stare. He’d won a bar brawl against six men without a scratch on him.
All of his life, Kade had grown up with a father that was imposing, intimidating, and feared.
That wasn’t the same man that Kade saw now. This man looked small, weak, and feeble. There was a tube beneath his nose that wrapped around his ears and he was leaning on an oxygen tank beside him.
“Heard you were back in town,” George said as he turned his back to Kade and took two steps toward a thread-bare recliner.
Kade ducked his head and followed his father into the musty trailer and winced at the overwhelming smell of cat piss and cigarettes. When the door shut behind him, he noticed the vast array of prescription bottles on the TV tray set up beside the La-Z-Boy. There had to be at least a dozen, all different sizes. Some were short and fat, others tall and skinny.
A different kind of uneasy feeling settled in Kade’s chest.
“You’re sick.” Kade stated bluntly as he lowered down onto the bench seat in the kitchenette area.
Small talk had never been the McKnight way. If you had something to say, you said it. No pussyfooting around, was how his dad used to put it.
“Yep.” George’s attention remained on the twenty-four-inch console television that they’d had since Kade was a kid. The host of Antiques Roadshow just asked a man where he’d found his Benjamin Ward Chamber Clock and his dad seemed riveted.
“How long?”
“Six months.”
That number shocked Kade. “You’ve been sick for six months?”
“No, that’s how long they gave me.”
“Gave you…? You’re dying?” Kade waited to feel the relief that he’d always assumed would be his reaction when this news came. But it didn’t come. He didn’t feel anything.
“We’re all dying.” George wheezed and coughed before continuing gruffly, “And they’ve been giving me six months for the past three years so what the hell do they know?”
It didn’t surprise Kade that whatever was killing his father was having a hard time doing so. He was a tough SOB. “What is it? What’s wrong with you?”
“Throat cancer. Liver failure. Enlarged heart.”
“Fuck.” Kade leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands as he stared down at the Parquet flooring. “I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not,” George snapped and Kade looked up to see his father’s expression tighten. His lips pursed and if Kade didn’t know any better he would’ve sworn he saw tears forming in his old man’s eyes. “And you shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t even be here.” George motioned to the door, extending an invitation for his son to get the hell out.
Kade stood. He didn’t need to be told twice. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m moving back home. To Whisper Lake. I wanted you to hear it from me.”
George’s sharp nod was his only response.
Kade opened the door but stopped short of exiting. “What’s the story with the dog?”
“The damn thing showed up here after it had been hit by a car. I fixed up his leg and the dumbass went right back out and got hit again. The damn thing cost me six hundred dollars in vet bills. I had to chain it up so it’d stop playing chicken with traffic.”
Kade hadn’t expected to hear that his dad had actually been trying to help the dog or that he’d spent money on the animal. “He was out of water and it’s ninety degrees outside.”
George sighed and his shoulders rounded in a defeated posture. “Dumbass knocks the thing over every morning. I don’t know what the hell to do. I was gonna bolt it down but I—” George started coughing again.
“I can take him,” Kade offered.
He’d planned on telling his dad that he was taking the dog, but that’s when he’d thought he’d been abusing him. It was clear to him now that the thing was too much for his father to handle.
“Good. Take him.” George cleared his throat and wiped his forefinger and thumb beneath his eyes. “I didn’t want the damn thing anyway.”
Kade never thought he’d see the day when he felt sorry for his father. But that was exactly what he felt now. And he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
Before he left, he turned back once more to ask, “What’s his name?”
“Dumbass,” his father answered gruffly.
Right. Kade grinned. Dumbass.