Twenty-Nine
Stana
Sleep was almost non-existent after Jerick told me that Max was sniffing around his family. I didn’t know what to think, and my mind was wandering a million miles an hour thinking about any possible reason for Max to even go near Jerick’s family.
Max blamed Jerick for his father’s death, so I don’t see him wanting anything to do with his family either. Plus, I know that Jerick didn’t kill Max’s father. He didn’t tell me the whole story, but he did assure me that he wouldn’t have done it. I believe him.
When I finally give up on trying to fall asleep, I get out of bed and make my way out of the room and downstairs. Maybe a glass of water will help me sleep. As I get to the kitchen, I see a shadow in there. I continue to slowly make my way into the kitchen when his voice scares the crap out of me.
“Shouldn’t ye be asleep?” he asks without turning around. His shoulders are hunched over like he’s reading from something on the counter in the dark. The light from the moon is the only light in the room, casting shadows everywhere.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I mumble out, trying to think if it’s safe to be in here with him. I know that Jerick trusts Conaill with his life, but I don’t know if I do. He hasn’t done anything un-trustworthy, but still. I barely know any of Jerick’s friends, let alone Jerick. We’ve been in this relationship for months, and I still feel like I don’t know anything about him or his family other than what I’ve read on the internet and the few things that he’s told me. Sometimes I think he just tells me enough to keep me from asking him.
“Ye don’t trust me,” he states, no question or humor whatsoever.
“Should I?” I ask, walking closer to where he is standing. He still doesn’t look up when I get closer. It’s almost like he can sense me and the thoughts that are currently running through my head.
“Jerick trusts me,” he murmurs before turning around to finally face me. He’s handsome in his own way. His reddish-brown hair reminds me of Jerick’s, but everything else is so far from Jerick’s look. His almond eyes are a shade darker than most green eyes I’ve seen, almost a jade color. His nose is slightly wider than Jerick’s, and he has some of the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen before.
“I know.” Jerick does trust him, and part of me feels like I should trust him too, but with my history, I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t trust anyone anymore.
“I would never do something to hurt him. He’s been like me brother fer far longer than anyone else, and I owe him me life. He brought me into this life and even dragged us stateside when he and his da decided that they wanted to get out of Belfast.” He looks me up and down before he speaks again. “I know he cares about ye, but I still don’t get why. Ye lasses are a dime a dozen, and once ye leave him high and dry, another will be vying fer his attention. It’s a vicious cycle if ye ask me.”
I feel a lump forming in my throat as I try to swallow. He thinks that I’m just trying to hurt his best friend. “You think I sent Max to the restaurant tonight.” I know I should have asked it like a question, but I already know the answer. He doesn’t have to tell me.
“Aye. I think yer trying to mess with his head. Maybe yer in on it with Liam. The whole reason behind the shit we have to deal with lately. Yer the only one who has gotten this close to him in a long time.” My stomach starts to turn. How could he think so low of me? You know what, I actually get it. Conaill doesn’t know me from anyone else. He doesn’t know what is running through my head and has no idea how I feel about Jerick. How could he? I mean it’s not like we spent time together with Conaill in the same room We always did our own thing together, just the two of us.
“I would never do anything to hurt Jerick.” Anger laces my voice.
“Aye, lass. I know ye think that, but ye having anything to do with that asshole in the basement hurts him.” The fecker still calls ye. He wants something from ye. We are dealing with him the only way we know how.”
I frown at his words. What does he mean that Max still calls? I haven’t heard from him in a few days.
“I didn’t know he still called. I haven’t heard from Max.” I swallow. Jerick has been taking his calls on my phone? “How do you know he calls?” I demand. I want an answer, and I don’t care if I piss him off or not.
“Aye. Jerick told him to stay the feck away from ye. That’s probably why he was at the restaurant tonight. But he won’t be a problem after tomorrow.” He gives me a devious grin, and I feel my whole body grow cold. Then I remember my very brief conversation with him yesterday before Jerick came in bloody and dirty.
Instead of sticking around to hear whatever else he had planned to tell me, I make my way out of the kitchen and go in search of the basement. He let it slip that Max was being held here on the property, so I just need to find where he is. I want to find out why he was at Jerick’s family’s restaurant and why he keeps calling me.
Walking down one of the halls by what I discovered was the garage; I check each door and try to find where they have Max. I have so many questions, and I need to get the answers before I let them do whatever they have planned. I don’t even know if I could trust Max after the last few conversations we’ve had. He was the reason I had my recent panic attack, and I almost got hit by a car.
As I try another door, I hold my breath when the door is locked. Every other door in this hall is unlocked except this one. Reaching up, I run my fingers along the door casing and try to find a key that may have been left here by either Jerick or Conaill. The moment my finger touches something cold, I feel like I’ve won the lottery. Grabbing the key, I stick it in the door and turn it.
When the lock clicks, I turn the doorknob and push the door open slowly. The room is dark and not a sound is being made. I run my hand up the wall until I find the light switch. Flipping the switch, the light invades my eyes, and I groan at the sudden brightness.
“Hello?” I hear a voice call out. It doesn’t sound like Max, but it is a male voice. I tiptoe towards the voice, and then I finally see him, I gasp putting my hands to my mouth. He’s lying on the ground with his hands tied behind his back. I rush over to him and kneel down on the ground beside him.
He doesn’t say a word as his eyes meet mine. I scan over his face and see that there are no cuts or scrapes on him. He’s okay. They didn’t hurt him. “Max,” I whisper. I reach for his bindings and start to undo them. The last one is the hardest, and his whimpers cause me to stop what I’m doing. I’m hurting him, and I hate that. I don’t want to put him in any more pain than he is already in. I don’t know what they plan to do to him, but I can’t let it happen.
As much as he hurt me, he is still my friend. I have to help him.
Once I get the last tie off of him, I help him stand up. He leans most of his body weight on me and just as we take a step, I feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Ice shoots through my body when his voice rings out in the basement.
“What are ye doing love?” I lower my eyes for a second and try to take a breath. His voice isn’t the sweet one that he gives me every day; it’s the icy one that he gives to his men when he’s pissed off. The one I know that means his anger is directed right at me.
“I…” I don’t even know what to say. I want to protect Jerick, but I can’t let him hurt Max. “He doesn’t deserve this.” I finally push the words out. His eyes narrow on me, and I swallow around the lump in my throat.
“He doesn’t deserve this? Are ye fecking joshing me? He put yer life in danger, and he was going to rat ye out to me family.” He stalks towards us, and I try not to lose my composure.
“He wouldn’t do that.” My voice is weak, I know it is. The sound of it is foreign, and I hate that one look from Jerick can almost bring me to my knees. “He wouldn’t sell me out.” I look at him, and I see the hope shining in his eyes.
“Yer not who I thought ye were if ye believe the bullshit he’s feeding ye, love.” Biting my lip, I try to stop the tears. “I’ve done nothing but protected ye. I went against me family and friends fer ye. I turned me back on everything that I’ve ever known because I loved ye.” I feel my heart break with one word. Loved. He doesn’t love me anymore.
A tear falls down my cheek, and I don’t bother wiping it off. My heart just broke into a million little pieces, and I know that I’ll never be able to pick them up or find them all. “Ye can have her. I hope he can protect ye, lass. I’ll make sure yer life is fecking hell. I won’t stop coming after ye.” He turns and walks away, not standing in the way of us. He doesn’t care if something happens to me now.
My legs give out, and I fall to the ground, taking Max with me. I don’t even feel the hard concrete as my ass comes in contact with it. I’m numb. Broken in a way that I don’t think I could ever be fixed. Instead of helping Max, I slowly pull myself to my feet and run. I run out of the basement and straight for the front door. I don’t stop for shoes or a jacket, I just get the hell out of there.
Jerick’s anger and hate were all it took to finally break me. Break me so much that I know I’ll never recover. He became my life, everything that I could ever want and more, someone who would protect me until his dying day. Now? I don’t even know where I’ll go. He moved all my things to his place. A place that I don’t even know about.
I run until I can’t run anymore. Tears streaming down my face mixed with snot. I don’t stop running. I have nothing. No money. No identification. Nothing.
I fall on the ground when my legs are so tired that they finally gave out. Sitting on the concrete in the snow, I don’t even feel the cold. The numbness lets me sit for far longer than I should, and I can’t bring myself to move.
I had a love of a man who would kill for me. I had a new best friend that would let me cry on her shoulder if I needed it and I threw it all away. I have nothing now. Rhett was right. I am worthless. Not worth a damn thing to anyone that mattered.
I don’t matter.