Thirty
Jerick
She chose him over me.
The sight of her and him together made me want to gut the fecker right in front of her. Get rid of him so she couldn’t choose him. I clench me fist a few times before I finally punch the damn wall in the bedroom we shared. I should have fecking known. No lass was worth the shit I did. She wasn’t fecking worth it. I gave up everything fer her, and this is how she repaid me.
She chose him.
Running my hand over me face, I try to calm meself down, but it’s no use. She’s gone. I’m done. She fecking tore me damn heart in two. I should have known better. Loyalty is all we have, and she turned her back on me. She chose him. Fecking shit!
Me loyalty to the family should be me number one priority, and I threw it all away for her.
A knock at the door only pisses me off more. I have a feeling that Conaill was the one who told her where he was. If he didn’t, she wouldn’t have gone near him. I would still have her in me bed, and I’d be waking her up to shag her instead of cursing meself fer letting her break me the way she has.
The door opens, and I see his smug face. He knew she would help the fecker, it’s written all over his face. “Ye of all people should know that ye can’t trust a lass. All they are good fer is a shag, and that’s it.” His grin is irritating the shit out of me.
It doesn’t take much fer me to walk over to him and punch him. His head jerks to the side with the force of me fist. He knew that this would happen, he planned fer it. His loyalty to me isn’t something that I ever thought I should question. His loyalty to the family was something I never thought would happen. The family left us out to dry. They let me brother take over me cut and now… I shake me head.
“Ye need to get yer shit together. We have a fecking war to fight. Ye want the lass, then go get her. Just fecking remember she chose that fecker down in the basement. She was helping him when ye found them.” I turn me head away from him. Me anger is building, and I know I won’t be able to tap it down this time. I want blood, and his will do.
Grabbing the lamp off the nightstand, I throw it against the wall as hard as I can and watch as the glass shatters and fall all over the carpet. I hear footsteps come running and a gun is pulled and pointed right at me as Rory comes in the room.
“What in the bloody hell is going on in here?” he asks as he takes in the room.
“She left.” Those are the only two words that fall from me mouth. I can’t think of anything else. All I can do is think about her and the way I feel. I fecking love her. I sink to the ground next to the bed, and slowly me body goes numb. The pain doesn’t radiate through me any longer. Instead, I feel dead inside.
“Shit,” Rory says walking over to me. He puts his hand on me shoulder and gives it a squeeze before he says anything. “Did she leave because she’s scared?” His question burns at me chest. I wish she left for another reason other than the one she did leave fer. I said I’d come after her, but I won’t. As much as I want to make her suffer, she’s safe from me.
I said that I loved her. I know that is what hurt her the most. I didn’t say that I love her, I made it past tense. I broke her by saying that I didn’t love her anymore, the final blow to her heart.
“No. She’s not scared. She left because I told her that I didn’t love her anymore.” Conaill winces as the words fall from me lips. I fecked up, I know this. She’s fecking everything, but she was going to betray me. I couldn’t take that. I need someone who would give their life fer me, just like I would give me life fer them.
“I don’t give a shit what she does if she lets him have her.” I run me hand over me face before I get up and walk away. I don’t stop when he calls me name and I sure as hell don’t stop when he tells me that Max is gone. There is nothing that will make the pain in me chest disappear. She was it. She was the one that I wanted above all else. I would have given it all up if she asked me too.
It would have been a long road ahead of us, running from the family, but I would have done it fer her. I would have done anything fer her.
Taking off into the early morning, I just get in me car and drive. I drive fer hours, and when I finally stop, I’m sitting in front of me family’s restaurant. I stare at the entrance fer a good hour before I finally get out of the car and walk inside. As far as the family goes, I’m still in the fold. They want to get rid of Stana just to hurt me, but now that she’s gone, they can’t hold her over me anymore. They can’t threaten her life to get me to do as they want.
All their plans will be null and void, and I get pleasure just knowing that. They are going to have to rethink their strategy. I won’t give up me stake in the family just because they think they can intimidate me. I’ll go to war with them and kill every last fecker that thinks I’m not fit fer me spot in the family.
The minute me feet hit the inside of the restaurant, all eyes are on me. I scan the room, taking in the familiar faces and nod me head in greeting. My eye catches movement, but I don’t care. It’s four a.m., and I knew that everyone would be here. We start and end every day in this place. It’s our home base, where all the money goes after being collected.
“Jerick, me boyo,” Me Da’s voice rings out in me ears. “I see ye finally decided to become a bigger part of the family.”
I turn me attention to the man who taught me everything about the business back in Belfast. The one who encouraged me to be the cold-blooded killer that I now am.
“Aye,” I answer, not taking me eyes off of him.
I want him to trust me before I slay the fecking snake that is standing right in front of me. I will take him down and Liam too. They will both be dead.
“Let’s talk in me office.” He waves his hand in the direction of the office. I nod me head and follow his lead towards the back room. It won’t surprise me if he tries to get me brother or one of the men to try and take me out now that I’ve agreed to take on more of the family business. They were already trying to push me out when Liam came back, so I can only imagine that it’s not going to change now.
I’ve kept their secrets long enough, and I won’t protect me brother again. If he fecked this part up, I would be the first one to throw his arse under the bus and run the bastard over, backing up and running him over again. All is fair in love and war, and Liam is at the top of me list.
As the door shuts behind us, I am locked in the same room as me Da. I study the hard lines of his face and can see how old he is starting to look. His hair is greying and has dark circles under his eyes. Nothing like the man he was when we first came stateside.
“Ye are ready fer more?” he asks as he takes a seat in his chair behind the big oak desk that takes up far too much space in the damn room.
“Aye. I’ve cut ties with the lass. I’m ready to jump back in full force,” I answer, not getting any closer to the desk. I stand closer to the door with a knife in the sleeve of me jacket. I don’t trust anyone here and I sure as hell won’t let anyone get the drop on me. This isn’t just his place, it’s mine too. If I weren’t around when he started this up, he wouldn’t have the control and power that he has now. I built it up, and I keep it going most days.
“Good.” He scans over some paperwork on his desk. He looks up at me after he’s done and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. “She wasn’t good enough fer ye. If ye want to marry, I can find ye someone more appropriate.”
I roll me eyes at that. “I don’t want to marry. I rather shag who I want, when I want. One lass tying me down isn’t what I want.”
He laughs at that.
“Please boyo, like getting married would affect that.” I have to bite me tongue. That is where me Da and I differ. I don’t cheat on me lass. I don’t care if I don’t love her. If I ever got married, there will never be cheating. If she cheated on me, I would kill the bastard she was with without thinking twice. I don’t share and I sure as hell don’t need more than one woman nagging at me fer whatever reason.
My thoughts go immediately to Stana. The angel that I want to hate but can’t. As pissed as I am at her, I still crave her soft touch. The feel of her skin against mine as I shagged her. The feeling of her cunt as it squeezes me tightly as I go deep inside of her.
I have to close my eyes as I picture the way her lips parted and her eyes closed as I sunk inside of her last. Me dick twitches at the memory, and I have to think of something else before I get a damn boner. “Ye need to get laid, boyo.” Me da laughs, motioning down with his eyes.
“Don’t fecking worry about me. I can find me own piece of arse. I don’t need yer help.” He just grins at me, and it’s one of those slimy ones that make me skin itch. I don’t trust the fecker anymore. I can only assume that he has some sort of agenda and that he will still try and find a way to hurt me or take Stana out.
As much as I want to never have to see her again after she chose him, I couldn’t let anyone hurt her. I still love her. I’d even die to protect her no matter how pissed I was at her.
“Aye, well go get some pussy and come back tonight. I have a few jobs I need to be done very delicately.” I nod me head and turn to walk out the door. “Jerick?” I turn and see a dark look in his eyes. “Glad to have ye back, boyo.” I nod me head before turning and making me way towards the door and opening it. Just as I walk through it, I see me brother Liam walking towards me.
“Aye, brother.” His grins at me and I have to keep meself in check. I can’t deck the sorry bastard right here in the restaurant and I sure as hell can’t put a bullet in his head. So I just give him a hard look before walking away and making me way to the front of the restaurant and out of the front door.
The minute me feet hit the sidewalk I feel like I can finally breathe again. The tightening feeling in me chest disappears, and the only thing that I can feel is the heartbreak. The feeling that I’ve lost the only thing that was important to me hits me hard, and I have to stop and take a deep breath. Motherfecker.
Making me way to the car, I get in and start the engine, not caring where I’m headed. I peel out and start driving, not realizing where I’m going until I put me car in park outside of her apartment, the one that I moved all her stuff out of. If she’s here, she has nothing left.
Although I don’t think she would risk coming here, she’s got nothing. She left everything she owned with me, and I know that it will be a hard road ahead of her starting over with nothing more than the clothes on her back.