Five
Stana
My heart is still pounding ten minutes after he walked out the door. I don’t know what it is about him that makes me do stupid things. I shouldn’t want him the way I do, and I shouldn’t let him kiss me that way. When I finally get my body under control, I bend down to grab my sweater and pull it back over my head.
Walking over to the couch, I take a seat on the worn cushion and stare at the blank wall. There is nothing personal about my apartment and in a way it calms me. It helps me remember that everything can be gone in the blink of an eye. I could pack up tomorrow and leave this town and any other town for that matter. I typically don’t sit on a place very long, but something about Jerick makes me want to stay.
This isn’t good. I shouldn’t want to stay, I’ve never stayed. Well, I guess I stayed once and look what that got me. Broken trust and a heart full of regret. My mind flashes back to when I thought we were happy, but it crashed down on the floor and took me down with it. I thought he loved me. Heck, I thought I loved him too.
“Stana, where the fuck are you?” His voice calls out from by the front door. He just walked through the door after being at work all day. When he reaches me, I can see the scowl on his face. His eyes are bloodshot, and he’s stumbling. He must have stopped at the bar on his way home tonight.
“When I ask you a question, I want a damn answer,” he yells. I shrink back, and my eyes widen. Rhett has never once yelled at me or anything like this before. God, what could I have done to make him so mad?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into the bedroom. I’ve spent most of the day doing laundry and cleaning our room, so I didn’t even think to make my way to the living room when he arrived today.
The distance between us closes quickly, and I can see the anger written all over his face. The crack of his hand hitting my skin startles me, and when I look up, I see the regret and pain written all over his face. My cheek burns and the sting is nothing compared to the hurt I feel inside my chest. My hand goes to my face, and I hold my cheek.
“I’m so sorry baby,” he quickly states, pulling me into his strong arms. I’m still in shock and can’t even process what just happened. He wouldn’t hit me, but apparently, he would. He did. A warm tear slides down my face, and I’m shocked that it’s even happening.
He pulls my face into his chest, and he starts to whisper in my ear. “I’ll never hurt you again. I am so sorry baby.” I don’t say a word. I just let him hold me as a part of me goes numb.
My mind flashes back to the present when I hear the foreign sound of the phone beeping in my bag. Walking over to where I left the bag, I pull out the phone and check the screen. When I see his name on it, I start to feel the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. He shouldn’t make me feel this way. I don’t even know him, and I have no idea what to do about it.
Jerick: I want to see you after I’m done tonight.
Flicks of memories to the way his mouth felt against mine have me squeezing my legs together. God, what am I doing? My fingers trail over the buttons on the screen, and I hit the reply button and type out a message back to him.
Me: Okay.
I don’t say anything more because honestly, I don’t know what else to say. I’m so far out of my league with him. Just looking at him, I know he isn’t the type of guy I’ve ever gone after. His demeanor is dark and deadly but soft at the same time. Gah! There is something wrong with me. I shake my head at myself and thoughts of Rhett come back into my mind. He was nothing like Jerick, but look how that turned out. Maybe I’m destined to be with crazy men.
He doesn’t write me back, and it doesn’t bother me. Instead, I go into the kitchen and make a T.V. dinner that was still in the freezer. After I eat and feed the devil cat, I make my way into my bedroom to grab some clean clothes so I can shower. Once I get out and dry off, I spend time putting lotion all over my body before slipping my sleep shorts and a tank top on.
Walking through to my room, I pull the comforter down and slide between the sheets. Grabbing the remote from the small tattered nightstand, I turn it on and wait for the T.V. light to glow before I shut my lights off. The purring monster comes and jumps on the bed not long after I turn on Netflix and settle in against the pillows.
The show blurs after a while, and I find myself fast asleep.
A hand presses against my belly and I freak out. Trying to pull away from the hand, I all but fall off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thump. Hearing the sound of his deep chuckle calms me enough to not reach for the baseball bat I have sitting next to the bed.
His footsteps come towards me, and I hold my breath as I wait for him to come closer. “Ye okay Banphrionsa?” he asks when he gets within a foot of me. Leaning down, he puts his hands under my body, lifting me up and into his arms. I have no choice but to wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him as he puts me back in my bed.
“You scared the crap out of me,” I mutter, looking away from him. He doesn’t say anything else as he gets into my bed. “Wait, how did you get in here? I locked all the windows and the door.” I look around and don’t see anything out of place, and that makes me even more nervous than before. Maybe he’s a thief, and that’s why he left in a hurry earlier.
“Ye apartment isn’t that safe, love.” His words are matter-of-factly, and that doesn’t make me feel good.
“So anyone can get in like…” I pause and swallow the lump in my throat. What if the man who attacked me can get in just as easily as Jerick got in? “What if he comes back?” I shudder, and he wraps his arms around me pulling my body into his as he tucks me into him.
“The fecker won’t come near ye,” he whispers into the dark room. The only light we have is the soft glow of the T.V. “I’ll take care of ye.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head, and I close my eyes.
“What if you aren’t around and he finds me?” My panic is getting the best of me. I can’t control it.
“He won’t banphrionsa. I won’t let anyone hurt ye.” I bury my face into the crook of his neck while he just holds me. After a while, I feel my body start to melt into his embrace, and it scares me. I shouldn’t trust this stranger, yet I do. I’ve let him into my apartment, into my mind, and now into my bed. The only explanation is that I must be going insane.
His fingers trail up and down my back in the most soothing way, and soon I’m fast asleep.
Waking up sometime later, I feel a massive arm draped across my waist, and when I try to move out from under it, it grips me tighter. Turning, I come face to face with the handsome man sleeping next to me. The room is still dark when I glance at the clock. The time reads four a.m.. He must have shown up some time after midnight at least. Maybe that’s when he gets off work…
His regular deadly expression is softer and almost approachable while he sleeps. If I had met him anywhere else, I would have walked the other way. He scares me in a way, but at the same time, it’s like he pulls me in.
Running my fingertip along his cheek and then across his lips, I watch him. His features never change, and part of me is glad for that. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, and I’m nervous that when he wakes up, he’s going to want something from me. Not that I haven’t been thinking about it since he brought me home from work yesterday.
His hand around me tightens as I run my fingers down his neck and towards his pecs. He doesn’t have a shirt on so his tattoos are on full display.
Growing up, my parents always told me that people who had tattoos were terrible and that I shouldn’t trust them. I believed it for a long time until I got to know some people who had ink. I’m pretty sure that some tattooed people are the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. Plus, if he was all that bad, why would he save a girl like me? I’m dull, average, boring. I am nothing spectacular, and I still don’t understand why he’s kissed me multiple times or why he’s even here right now. Sometimes I sound like a crazy person in my own head. He probably just wants to have sex with me and then his fascination will disappear.
Maybe I can just give him what he wants so I can get on with my life. I need to move again. It’s probably not safe for me here anymore. My attention is drawn back to his beautiful face, and I run my finger over the skin between his eyebrows. For once, he doesn’t look stressed or worried. I notice the heart tattoo on his chest, and my fingers itch to touch it. It looks so real and detailed. Just as my hand reaches out to touch it, his hand grabs mine.
I jump back a little, but I don’t go far. His grip on me is tight, and I’m being pressed against his hard body. “What are ye doing?” His voice is sleepy and rough, making me wet between my thighs. I’m in so much trouble with him right here in my bed.
“I was just admiring your tattoo.” He releases my hand, and I tentatively move my hand towards his chest and the tattoo. My fingers brush against the ink that stains his skin. The heart is detailed and lifelike. His eyes follow my hand, but he doesn’t say anything. “Does it mean something?” I ask, slowly pulling my hand away from his skin.
“Aye. I got it a few years ago.” He doesn’t say anything more, and the only conclusion I can come to is that it was because of a woman. Men don’t talk about tattoos they got for other women. Not that I would really want to know that he loved someone else before. Gah! Why would I even care that he loved another woman? There is definitely something wrong with me.
Instead of saying a word, he grabs my chin and forces my face up. His lips fall onto mine, and I move closer to his body. Pressing close to him, one of my hands grips his side, and I pull him even closer. There is nothing between us but my skimpy little sleep clothes and his jeans. One of his hands wraps around the back of my neck, while the other slides along my back towards my ass. His fingers slip under my shorts, and I feel them brush against my skin.
I gasp into his mouth, and he swallows the sound. We are a mess of teeth and tongues. Both of us trying to get more of the other.
His fingers slide along my folds, and he pushes a finger inside of me. I moan out his name, and he kisses me until I forget all my reservations about him. The only thing I can focus on is the way it feels as he puts his hands on me and in me.
“Feck, yer so wet,” he groans into my mouth. He starts to move his finger in and out of me, and my mind gets hazy. It’s been way too long since I’ve been with anyone. He builds me up quickly, and my hands dig into his skin.
“Oh God,” I whimper.
He claims my mouth again as he brings me right over the edge and into oblivion. I can’t even describe the way I am feeling after that orgasm. As I come down, he kisses down my throat and pulls my top down, exposing my breasts to him. He takes one of my nipples into his mouth and has my body arching into his for more. His fingers don't leave my clit as he continues to run his fingers along my wetness.
Every nip and suck that he places on my skin gets me hotter than before. Rhett never gave me more than one orgasm, and that was if he even tried at all. It was always about him. I didn't have my first orgasm until I bought a vibrator a while after we started dating.
Pushing out all thoughts of Rhett out of my head, I focus on the way Jerick’s mouth feels on my skin.