CHAPTER TWELVE

 

Jules

 

MY HANDS TWIST nervously in my lap as I sit on the hospital bed with my legs crossed Indian style. My back is ramrod straight, aching from being so stiff, and the inside of my bottom lip is raw from biting on it so much. I’m so freaking nervous as I wait for Theo to come back into the room.

Today is the day I get to go home. Or rather, Theo’s home. I had no choice but to go home with him, since my parents still haven’t called me back. That knowledge still burns deeply, but it also makes me angry. Who in the hell just ignores their daughter who’s been in a coma for seven years? How could they be so heartless? So cruel?

I push thoughts of my parents away. I have enough to worry about right now without adding that to the mix. Like wondering what Theo expects of me. We’re married, but I don’t remember him. I don’t know how to be a wife. My last memories are of me graduating high school only months before. I was just entering adulthood. I worked part-time jobs during high school because I wanted that experience and the chance to earn money on my own. I know the basics of cooking, but we ate out most nights. We had a housekeeper come in a couple of times a week who kept the house spotless and tidy. I mean, I know how to clean, but I don’t know how to run a household.

It’s not really the domestic side of marriage I’m worried about though. That I can learn as I go. It’s the physical part. More specifically, the sexual aspect. Does Theo expect me to sleep with him? Have sex with him? He’s been nothing but a gentleman the last few weeks, but I’ve seen the way his eyes roam over me when he thinks I’m asleep or not looking. The desire in their depths scares me. The last I remember, I was a virgin. We were married, and Theo doesn’t seem like the type to wait for marriage to have sex. I know we must have slept together, which means I must have trusted him. I hope he doesn’t expect that of me yet.

It would be so much easier if I could just remember him, but even with that thought, I’m still unsure if I want those memories back. Something niggles in the back of my mind, warning me to be cautious.

Footsteps have me looking up from my lap to see Theo walking into the room with a nurse pushing a wheelchair following him.

“You ready to blow this popsicle stand?” Theo asks with a smile, coming to stand beside the bed.

Although I’m more than ready to leave the hospital, I’m not ready to go with Theo. However, not having any other choice, I nod.

My anxiety lessens at his charming, boyish smile, but it’s still there, eating away at my nerves. I ignore his offered hand to help me from the bed, pretending I don’t see it, and get off on the opposite side from where he’s standing. I slip my feet into the dark gray flat shoes he brought me, grab a small bag that has a few things in it, and walk around to the nurse. She explains my at-home care instructions, passes me a paper that has my next physical therapy appointment, and cautions me that even though I’m well enough to go home, to still take it easy for a while.

The strength in my legs is better, and I can walk on my own with minimal trouble, but per hospital policy, I’m required to be escorted out via a wheelchair. I feel like an invalid as we navigate down the hallway.

When we walk out of the doors, there’s a dark blue car pulled to the curb. Theo walks ahead of us and pulls open the passenger side door, then holds his arm out toward it.

“Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

I laugh at his goofy behavior, and more tension eases away. He must sense my turmoil and is trying to abate my stress, something I’m grateful for.

When he reaches his hand out to help me from the chair, I make a split-second decision and place my hand in his. As soon as our hands touch, I regret it. Sparks travel up my arm, eliciting goose bumps, and a weird feeling settles in my stomach. The heated look in Theo’s eyes tells me he felt something too. Something I’m not ready to acknowledge yet.

I ignore the desire to pull my hand away and let him lead me to the car. Theo’s my husband, so I need to get used to his touch, even simple touches like holding hands.

“You take care of yourself, Miss Rozero,” the nurse calls once I’m seated safely inside the car.

I smile. “Thank you for everything, Mary.”

She turns, and she and the wheelchair disappear back inside. Theo closes the car door and while he puts my bag in the back seat and he walks to his side, I buckle my seat belt.

Seeing my tight grip on the shoulder strap of the seat belt, Theo reaches over and puts his hand on top of one of mine. I know he’s only trying to calm my nerves, but it does just the opposite.

“Are you okay?”

I jerk at the sound of his voice, then feel like an idiot for doing so. I take in a deep breath, release it, place a smile on my face I don’t feel, and look at him.

“I’ll be fine.”

His eyes look over my face for a moment before a small smile plays on his lips. His hand pulls mine away from the seat belt and brings it to his mouth. My heart stutters in my chest at feeling his lips and warm breath against my skin.

“Yes, you’re going to be just fine,” he murmurs against the back of my hand.

Luckily, he releases my hand after that, and we pull away from the hospital. It’s quiet for the first several minutes, then a thought occurs to me. Something that’s been on my mind for days.

“Why does everyone call me Miss Rozero when we’re married? I thought I would carry your last name now.”

We pull up to a red light, and out the corner of my eye, I see Theo shift in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. He replies a minute later.

“Because we never got the chance to do an official name change. In the eyes of the law, you’re still Jules Rozero, even if our marriage certificate says otherwise.”

“Oh. That makes sense.”

Theo releases the brake and we pull through the light. “We can get it changed as soon as possible.”

“Oh, there’s no rush,” I say quickly, then cringe. I don’t want to change my last name. Maybe I will in the future when I’m more used to the idea of being married. I don’t feel married right now, so the thought of changing my last name doesn’t seem right.

Theo doesn’t say anything at my rushed reply, so I peek over at him. His outward appearance seems calm, but I see the tiny tic in his jaw and the way he’s gripping the steering wheel tightly. A shudder runs through me.

I turn away from him and look out the window. The buildings we pass by are not like the buildings where I grew up. These are old and dilapidated, many looking like they’ll crumple to dust with a heavy wind. When we pull into a neighborhood, the houses don’t look much better. The dried and overgrown yards are swarming with trash and kids’ toys. We pass by a few houses that have people on the porch or in the yard. Sympathy hits me at the despondent and haggard faces. We pull up to a stop sign and fear replaces the sympathy when a man at the corner right outside my window leers at me. His toothless grin and the way he grabs his privates suggestively have revulsion cramping my stomach. I turn away from him and discreetly make sure my door is locked as I look out the windshield.

I knew this side of town was rough, but I had no idea just how much. When I was growing up, my parents never came to the south side, saying it wasn’t a place for people like us to visit. Once I got my license, I came to this side of town a few times, just because I could. Obviously, my limited knowledge of the south side was more restricted than I thought. How can the city let this place become so run-down? I know the actions of people caused a lot of the destruction, but there has to be something the governor can do.

Minutes later, we pull up to a house with white siding. Or what used to be white. Now it’s a dingy grey. This house isn’t as bad as the others in the neighborhood, but it still wouldn’t be considered nice compared to what I’m used to. There’s another car in the drive, and we park next to it.

“Home sweet home,” Theo comments, turning the car off.

I drag my gaze away from my new home and look at him. The uncertainty in his eyes tells me my own feelings must show on my face. Feeling like an ungrateful bitch when he’s been nothing but kind to me, I plaster on a smile.

“It’s not much, but you’ll be comfortable here, Jules. I promise,” he rumbles in a deep voice.

“I’m sure I will,” I offer, hoping to fool not only him, but myself as well

“Come on. Let’s go inside.”

We both get out of the car, and my nerves start getting the best of me again. After grabbing my bag out of the back, Theo walks around to my side, placing a hand at the small of my back to lead me forward. I try to walk faster to lose his hand, but my damn legs are shaking, making it difficult.

“My parents are here,” he states as we walk up the three steps to the door. Instead of going in, he stops and faces me. “I told them to give you a few days before coming over, but Mom’s been itching to meet you for weeks. There was no holding her back anymore.”

My lungs freeze, and my knees feel weak. I’m not ready to meet his parents. I’m not ready to move into Theo’s house. It sounds childish, but I just want to go home. To my parents’ house and surround myself with things that are familiar.

But I can’t. This is my life now. I need to pull up my big girl panties and get used to it.

I suck in a deep breath for encouragement and lie through my teeth. “I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

He smiles, then grabs my hand. My teeth grind together at the contact. After opening the door, he pulls me inside with him. I don’t get a chance to look around before there’s a pretty, middle-aged woman stepping up to us.

“Hello, dear Jules. It’s so great to finally meet you.” Her voice is soft and the smile that overcomes her face is infectious. I instantly feel at ease around her.

I hold out my hand timidly. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Hendrix.”

Instead of taking my hand, she steps forward and wraps her arms around me. The warmth of her embrace has my eyes stinging. What I wouldn’t give to have my own mom’s arms around me.

Not wanting to embarrass myself or make anyone feel uncomfortable, I push away the tears. When she steps back, her hands cup my cheeks.

“How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Would you like something to drink?”

“Stop it, Helen. The girl just walked in the door. Give her a few minutes to collect herself.”

A gruff older man walks up beside Theo’s mom and offers me a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, honey. She plays mother to everyone.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Wyatt.”

I place my hand in his and it engulfs mine. I feel tiny compared to his tall and muscular frame. His hair is longer than socially acceptable, and the full beard gives him a rugged look. The tattoos peeking out of his shirt sleeves make him appear daunting. But his eyes, which are the same crystalline blue as Theo’s, look kind. The eyes aren’t the only thing Theo got from him though. Theo looks like a younger version of his dad.

I stifle a laugh when Theo’s mom elbows him out of the way and takes her place back in front of me.

“You hush,” she says pointedly to Wyatt. Reaching forward, she grabs my hand. “You and Theo come. Let me make you both some lunch. And please, call me Helen.”

I nod and follow her. Not that I really have a choice with her hand still holding mine. My eyes drift to the side, trying to take in as much as I can. I only get a glimpse of an old couch, a couple of scuffed end tables, and a small flat-screen television before we’re entering the kitchen. The décor in this room isn’t much better with its outdated appliances, old cabinets, and old-fashioned linoleum flooring. It’s small, but still big enough to move around in. I try to picture myself in here cooking dinner, but I can’t. According to Theo, I had my own place when we met, so it’s not surprising I can’t see myself in here.

Helen leads me to a small four-seater table in the corner of the room.

“You three, take a seat, and I’ll whip us up some sandwiches. Jules, do you like ham?” she asks, but turns away before I can answer.

“Yes, please,” I tell her back as she starts pulling things from the fridge.

She lifts her head and looks at Theo. “You need to go grocery shopping, son. You’ve got hardly anything in here.”

“I know, Mom,” he sighs. “I plan to go tomorrow.”

“Good.” Her head goes back into the fridge. “Now, what about tomato and cheese, Jules?”

“I’ll take them both, thank you.”

“Sorry,” Theo says quietly, leaning toward me so his mom doesn’t hear.

I pull my eyes away from the humming woman and look at him. “It’s okay,” I tell him truthfully. Her coddling should bother me, since I’ve only known her a few minutes, but it’s oddly comforting.

“Where’s Aria?” Theo asks.

It’s Wyatt who answers. “With Ella. They should be getting back any minute.”

“Who’s Aria?”

Theo’s expression turns guarded at my question and his eyes avoid mine. Helen looks to Wyatt, then to Theo, before looking at me. I, in turn, look at all three of them, waiting for someone to enlighten me. A sinking feeling forms in the pit of my stomach.

Wyatt opens his mouth, but before he can talk, the front door slams and a small pitter-patter can be heard coming toward the kitchen. A moment later, I’m shocked to see a little girl with long dark brown hair come barreling into the room.

“Dad!” she yells. “I’ve got you something!” She slides to a halt in front of Theo, then spots Wyatt, screeches, and jumps onto his lap. “I didn’t know you and Gamma were coming over today!”

Wyatt laughs and grabs both of her pigtails to pull her face toward him. “You didn’t see the car parked in the driveway?” Before she can answer, he demands, “Gimme sugar.”

Giggling, the little girl plants a smacking kiss on Wyatt’s lips. She then jumps down and runs over to Helen, who scoops her up and gives her the same treatment.

“You’re just in time, munchkin. I’m making sandwiches.”

“Yippee!” screeches the girl. “Can you put extra honey on mine?”

Helen pecks the girl’s nose, before pulling back and smiling at her. “You betcha.”

After she’s put down, the girl turns back to Theo. I’m left sitting there in shock, because I have no doubt in my mind who this little girl is. She looks exactly like her father, even having the same beautiful blue eyes. In the weeks Theo’s visited me in the hospital, he’s never mentioned he has a daughter. I have no idea how to feel about this new development.

It’s not until then that the girl notices me sitting there. Her eyes widen when she looks at me.

“Are you my new mom?” she asks, her voice sounding as though that’s a wondrous thing.

I choke and then start coughing. My eyes water, and I bend over to try to catch my breath. Hands rub my back, and after a few seconds I manage to get a hold of myself. I gratefully take the glass of water Helen holds out to me, and I swallow several big gulps of the cold liquid.

“I should have told you before we got here, but I didn’t know how,” Theo says, looking remorseful. The little girl is now sitting on his lap, looking at me worriedly.

“Are you okay?” she asks, chewing on her fingernail.

I try my best to put on a brave face, but I’m not sure if I pull it off. “I’m okay. It was just a little tickle in my throat.”

She relaxes back against Theo’s chest, seemingly satisfied with my reply.

“Jules,” Theo begins, “I’d like you to meet my daughter, Aria. Aria, this is Jules.”

“Hi,” she says quietly, her little legs swinging between Theo’s.

It takes me a moment to compose myself enough to answer in kind. I’m still reeling from the shock of Theo having a child, which makes her my stepchild.

“Hello, Aria. That’s such a pretty name.”

She smiles, revealing a missing tooth. “It was my great-gamma’s name.” Her smile turns to a frown. “She died before I was born.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Her head tilts to the side. “Daddy said you’re married. Does that mean I have a momma now? My other one left and didn’t want me.”

I turn helpless eyes to Theo, who appears to be struggling with how to handle the question as much as I am. Luckily, Helen comes to our rescue, even if her answer scares me. Being a wife is one thing, but being a parent to a child I’ve never met before is something else entirely.

“She’ll be your stepmom, Aria,” she supplies gently. Holding out her hand, she continues, “Why don’t you help me with the sandwiches. I’ll even let you put the honey on yours.”

She hops down from Theo’s lap, clearly already over her curiosity. “Okay!”

I watch, enthralled with Aria, as she helps Helen with the sandwiches. She’s a beautiful girl, and the way she communicates with Helen, she’s obviously very smart and mature for her age, which I put around six or seven.

Something pulls my attention away from them, and I look over to find another woman standing in the kitchen doorway. Just from her looks, I know who she is. It’s amazing how all the siblings in this family can look so much like their father.

The woman’s eyes pin me in place, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. Her expression is closed off, so I have no idea what she’s thinking. Her gaze leaves mine just long enough to look at everyone else in the room before coming back to me.

“Get in here, Ella, and meet your sister-in-law,” Helen reprimands without stalling in making the sandwiches.

Ella waits a moment longer before coming the rest of the way into the kitchen. She stops by her mom and Aria and leans back against the counter, her gaze still focused on me. Her arms cross over her chest and her eyes narrow.

“Stop it, Ella,” Theo barks.

Ignoring him, she purses her lips together.

“Ella Renee, knock that shit off now.”

Her eyes leave mine to go to Wyatt’s. The minute they do, they lose their displeasure and soften. The small transformation makes Ella look even more pretty.

I press my back against the chair and tense as she leaves the counter and closes the short distance between us. Her expression is impassive as she stands in front of me.

“I’m Ella,” she greets, holding out her hand.

Hesitantly, I grip her hand in mine, then wince when she squeezes a little too tightly. I thought it was only men who did that. Apparently, I was wrong.

“I’m Jules. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Already know who you are,” she states flatly after releasing my hand.

“Be nice,” Theo hisses beside me.

Without looking at him, she holds her hand to her lower stomach, out of view of her mom and dad, and flips up her middle finger to him.

I can’t help the small bubble of laughter that leaves my lips, and I’m surprised when hers twitch with a small smile. I rub my lips together nervously and pick at the bottom on my shirt. “Are these your clothes?”

Her eyes run briefly over my shirt. “Yes.”

“Thank you for letting me borrow them.”

She jerks her head up, the motion resembling a nod, then turns on her heel to help her mom finish the sandwiches.

I blow out a breath and steady my racing heart. This is too much to take in all at once, and now I feel emotionally drained. I look over at Theo when he grabs my hand, and he offers a smile. My eyes move next to Wyatt, and he offers one as well. As I look around the kitchen, my kitchen, I can’t help but wish there was someone else here. Someone who oddly makes me feel safe just by being in the same room.

 

 

I STAND IN THE middle of little Aria’s bedroom as she enthusiastically shows me all her toys. The little girl is rambunctious and quite a handful, but she’s amazingly adorable. The last several hours, I’ve been unable to keep my eyes away from her. She’s very talkative, outgoing, and has such a sweet disposition, but she’s also blunt, unafraid to voice what’s going on in her mind. Most kids her age are shy around strangers, but not Aria. Theo informed me she turns seven in a few months. He also told me he explained my memory loss to the little tornado. That didn’t stop her from asking questions though. I felt helpless when some of them were ones I couldn’t answer.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when Aria grabs my hand. “Come look at Molly’s house.”

We stop in front of a big doll house. It’s a beautiful structure that has a finished front with the back open, allowing Aria to move her dolls around. Looking inside, I see it’s filled with every piece of furniture imaginable.

“Wow. This is really neat,” I say, then get on my knees beside her.

She sets Molly down at the tiny kitchen table, then pushes a tiny plate in front of her.

“My uncle Luca made it for me,” she informs me.

“He did?” I ask in surprise. It must have taken him a long time to complete.

“Yep. I got it for my birthday last year. I asked Daddy for one, but he said we couldn’t afford it, so Luca made me one.”

At the mention of his name, my heart skips a beat. I haven’t seen him in over a week, and each night he hasn’t shown up, I’ve woken up scared. I don’t understand why he puts my fears to rest, but I miss the reprieve. I’m curious about his comment that there’re things I don’t know. When he spoke those words, his face was etched in pain. I want to ask Theo, but something tells me I shouldn’t.

Aria shifts beside me on her knees. I look down and see she’s holding Molly again and twisting the doll’s hair with her fingers. She took a bath earlier and water droplets from the ends of her hair soak the back of her gown. It’s a tangled mess, and I know it’ll be worse in the morning.

“Are you going to be nice to me?” Her voice quivers as she asks the question.

I’m momentarily stunned, but I quickly recover, wanting to immediately put her at ease.

“Of course I’ll be nice to you, Aria,” I tell her softly.

When she brings her eyes to me they look angry. The look is shocking coming from a girl her age.

“‘Cause sometimes Daddy brings home girls that aren’t very nice.”

Her words hurt, but not because Theo’s been with other women. I can’t really blame him. He’s been married to a woman who’s been in a coma for seven years. I wouldn’t expect him to stay faithful for that long. No, my discomfort is solely for Aria and the pain she must have endured from the other women. How anyone could be mean to such a sweet little girl is beyond me.

“Have any of them… hurt you?” I ask haltingly. “Have they put their hands on you?”

I hold my breath and wait for her answer.

Water slings from her hair and lands on my hand when she shakes her head. “No. They just say mean things sometimes when my daddy isn’t around.”

“Have you told your daddy?”

She grabs a little brush from the dollhouse and starts running it through Molly’s hair. “Yes, but he just says they don’t mean it.” She leans forward and lowers her voice, her nose wrinkling. “Sometimes I hear them in his bedroom. He thinks I’m asleep, but sometimes I hear the women yelling or crying.”

Revulsion twists my stomach. I want to reach out and pull her into my arms. I have no doubt in my mind the “crying” and “yelling” is Theo and whatever woman having sex. No child should hear that from adults, especially from a parent. How could he be so careless?

Anger at Theo has my hands balling into fists on my lap.

“Are you going to yell or cry when you sleep with Daddy?”

“No.” My answer is immediate. I reach out and smooth away a lock of wet hair from her forehead. I soften my voice and repeat, “No. You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Aria.”

“Good. Because I don’t like it. That’s why I like staying with Gamma, Pa, Uncle Luca, or Aunt Ella.”

She looks back down at Molly and attempts to braid her blonde hair. She only parts the hair into two sections, so it’s more of a twist instead of a braid.

“Want me to brush and braid your hair?”

“Can you do Molly’s hair too, so we look alike?”

I smile at her hopeful look. “Yes.”

She gets to her feet. “I’ll get the brush.”

While she walks away, I get to my feet and walk to the bed, taking a seat on the edge. When she comes back, she has a brush with a couple of bands wrapped around the handle. She walks to me, hands me the brush, and turns her back to face me. I start at the ends, and as I slowly work my way up her hair, a pang hits my chest. I used to do this with Teresa every night after her bath. I wonder what she looks like now, and if she’s forgotten about me.

Once I’m done, I tie off the end. Aria turns and holds out Molly.

“I’ll hold her while you braid her hair.”

I’m just finishing Molly’s braid when I hear a throat clear. I look over to the doorway and see Theo leaning against the frame watching Aria and me. When his eyes meet mine, something flashes in them. Before I can figure out what the look means, he looks to Aria, reminding me of her words a few minutes ago. I force back a scowl.

“You ready for bed, Aria?”

“Yep.”

She skips over to Theo, who scoops her up into his arms. As wrong as it is that Theo’s put Aria in situations she shouldn’t be in, I see the love shining from his eyes for his daughter.

“Guess what?” he asks.

“What?”

“You get to sleep with Daddy tonight in his big bed.”

“Yah!” she chirps, her eyes lighting up. “But why do I have to sleep in your bed?”

Over Aria’s shoulder, his eyes shift to mine for a moment before going back to her.

“Because we’re going to let Jules have your bed for now,” he explains.

She frowns. “But why isn’t she sleeping with you?”

When Theo looks back at me, I drop my eyes away. I hate knowing I’m taking Aria’s bed away from her, but the thought of sharing a bed with Theo has my stomach churning with nerves.

“I can sleep on the couch,” I offer.

“No,” Theo states firmly. “She’ll be fine in my bed for a few days. Won’t you, squirt?” She giggles when he tickles her ribs. The sound has my lips twitching.

“Yep.” Turning her head, she says. “You can even sleep with Mr. Waffles.”

She points to a stuffed giraffe lying on her pillow. I smile and give them both a nod.

Theo puts Aria down. “Go brush your teeth and hop in bed. I’ll grab your blanket and be in there in a few minutes to tuck you in.”

She runs to the door, then stops and turns to look at me with her gorgeous eyes. “Good night, Jules.”

My heart melts at her childlike, sweet voice. “Good night, Aria.”

She turns and skips out of view. Reluctantly, I look back at Theo. He’s standing with his hands shoved in his pockets, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You doin’ okay?”

I get up from the bed and walk over to him, stopping in the doorway several feet away.

“Yes. I hate to take away Aria’s bed. I really don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

He reaches out, and I lock my knees in place when he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch. It’s either Aria’s bed or mine.”

I swallow and drop my eyes from his intense ones. Theo intimidates the hell out of me, especially when he looks at me with an expression that says he’s holding something back. The look has been getting stronger and stronger over the last couple of weeks.

“I’ll sleep in Aria’s bed,” I mumble.

I lift my eyes when he chuckles. “Okay. We’ll give it a few days and see how you feel then about moving to my bed.”

I nod, but know deep inside it’ll be more than a few days before I feel comfortable enough to share his bed.

He walks past me to Aria’s bed and pulls off her pink Strawberry Shortcake blanket. “I’ll grab you another one from the closet. There’s a bag in the hallway that has some more clothes that Ella brought over. There’s something to sleep in in there. When I get paid this weekend, we can go shopping and get you some clothes.” His hands tighten in the blanket. “Unfortunately, I can’t afford the high-priced clothes you’re used to.”

“It’s okay, Theo. I’m sure whatever we get will be fine.”

He comes to me and stops way too close. The blanket in front of him brushes against my stomach, and the knuckles of the hand holding it touch just below my breasts. I don’t know if it’s intentional, but I still don’t like it.

I take a step back and jump when I run into the doorframe. He sees the move and frowns. “Jules,” he murmurs, closing the short distance between us again. “There’s no reason to be scared of me.”

I clutch the bottom of my shirt and nod. I freeze in fear when he leans toward me, like he’s going to kiss me. I don’t understand this irrational fear he instills in me.

I squeeze my eyes closed when I feel his breath brush against my mouth. My head thumps against the wood behind me and my hands automatically lift to push him away. The blanket is still between us, thankfully, separating his body from touching mine. Even so, I don’t want even his lips touching me.

I know I can simply turn my head away to prevent him from kissing me, but something stops me from doing so. It’s like I’m frozen in place, unable to move. Although I don’t want him to kiss me, I’m scared of what he’ll do if I rebut him.

When his lips finally touch mine, I make sure mine are tightly closed, telling him without words that I’m not comfortable with the kiss. His lips are wet as he feathers them across mine. It leaves me feeling dirty and wrong. When his tongue darts out to run across the seam of my lips, I can’t take it anymore, and I turn my head away. His head lands on the side of mine. Feeling his heavy and hot breath rush across my neck has a wave of nausea forming in my stomach.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he groans into my ear. “I’d never hurt you, Jules. I just wish you’d give me a fucking chance.”

I flinch at his harsh words and try to push back further into the wall. A sob tries to work its way up my chest. That’s the problem, I don’t know if he would hurt me or not, because I don’t know him. But the thought of him doing so scares me more than anything. Not because of the actual pain he would inflict, but because that means my judgement of him was so off seven years ago. I know in my heart I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t love him, so to find out that love was misguided would be devastating.

I open my eyes and see Aria standing in the doorway leading into Theo’s room. Her eyes are wide and there’s no masking the pain and confusion in their depths.

I press against the blanket, trying to push Theo back, but he doesn’t move.

“Please, Jules,” he whispers. “I’d do anything for you.”

I turn my head slightly and keep my voice low when I say, “Please step back, Theo. Aria’s in the hallway watching.”

I can practically hear his teeth grinding together as his jaw clenches. I’m surprised to see anger come over his face. I’m even more surprised by the tone of his voice.

“Aria,” he says harshly. “I told you to get in bed. I’ll be in there in a few minutes.”

Her already wide eyes turn to saucers. They dart from Theo to me, back to her father, before she turns and runs into the other room, slamming the door behind her.

Anger surges through me at the way he just spoke to Aria. It burns in my stomach because I know she’s already uncertain of me, and Theo has made that uncertainty grow.

When I push him again and he still doesn’t move, I know I’m taking a big chance when I reach for his side and twist the skin. My bravery grows when I hiss, “Move back.”

“Fuck,” he mutters, dropping the blanket and rubbing his side. His eyes narrow, and the look sends shivers across the back of my neck. “What the fuck was that for?”

I shove back the panic coursing through me at my bold move and tell him icily, “Your daughter was in the hallway. She didn’t need to see that. You wouldn’t move, so I made you.”

“Yes, and I told her to go to the room. We weren’t finished.”

“Yes, we were.”

Something dark and ominous enters his eyes for a split second before it’s gone. His face softens, and his gaze turns regretful. “I’m sorry.”

I remain rigid but give him a curt nod. When he takes a step toward me, I stiffen, and this time he stops.

“This is just so hard on me, Jules. I lost you for years, and I didn’t think I would get you back. It’s killing me not touching you.”

Guilt plagues me, because I know this isn’t easy for him. He remembers our time together. He remembers all the touches and looks and softly spoken words. It was him who went through the emotional pain of the accident, I’m sure leaving him feeling helpless because there was nothing he could do.

“I’m sorry,” I croak, tears clogging my throat.

“Don’t apologize. All I ask is for you to give me a chance. I know I can make you love me again.”

“Okay.”

We stand there in silence with several feet separating us for a moment, before he bends to grab the blanket.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Jules,” he states. “If you need anything, you know where I am.”

“Good night, Theo.”

He brushes his hand against my cheek. I hold still and wait for him to walk away before releasing a painful breath.

I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off, but I’m determined to do what he asked and give him the chance he deserves. I owe it to him and myself.

After changing into a pair of black sleep shorts and a light green T-shirt, I come back to Aria’s room and see a tan blanket, still folded, on Aria’s bed that Theo must have brought in while I was changing. Unfolding the blanket, I lay it out, and climb in bed then grab the cell phone Theo got for me from the nightstand. It doesn’t look as complicated as Theo’s, so it only takes me a few minutes to figure out how to work it. I close my eyes and try to recall the number that was on Theo’s phone when I tried to call my parents the other day in the hospital.

My eyes spring open when the number appears, and I dial it into the phone. I hold my breath while it rings, silently begging them to answer.

Disappointment and pain has my stomach bottoming out when the electronic voice comes across the line. I take a shaky breath before talking.

“It’s me again.” I clear my throat, but it still cracks when I speak again. “I’m so sorry for everything.” I pause, before begging, “Please call me.” I give them my number.

My chest is tight and it’s hard to swallow around the lump wedged in my throat when I hang up and put the phone back on the nightstand. I roll to my side and ignore the silent tears that creep from my eyes and onto the pillow.