CHAPTER THIRTEEN

 

Luca

 

I PUNCH THE STEERING wheel and a deep growl rumbles from my throat. I look over at the house I’m parked in front of and silently curse my mom, Theo, and God for the shit situation I’m in.

I’ve done good since the last time I visited Jules in the hospital. I told her I wasn’t coming back, and I didn’t, but fuck if it wasn’t hard to stay away. I know I’m showing obsessive tendencies, the same shit I must have pulled when she and Theo first met. That’s why I’m working my ass off on trying to push away my desire to see her. I may not be able to imagine myself doing the things I did in the past, but I did them, so it’s reasonable to say I’m capable of doing them again.

When Mom called a few days ago telling me she wanted me at Theo’s house for dinner to officially welcome Jules to our family, I flatly refused. I need to stay as far away from her as possible. But Mom, being Mom and having a close family, insisted, saying she knows I would never do anything like that again. I wish I had her faith, because I want nothing more than to steal Jules away from Theo and keep her for myself. I can’t see Theo being okay with this either, but when Mom gives orders, we follow them. I’m sure she bulldozed her way into getting Theo to agree.

“Goddammit,” I growl, and shove my door open, then slam it behind me.

As I make my way up to the door, I hope like fuck this goes by fast. Doesn’t matter. I’ll only be staying until dinner is over, then I’ll get my ass out of there.

After rapping my knuckles against the door twice, it’s pulled open and Ella stands on the other side.

“Hey. Mom was starting to worry you weren’t going to show up.”

She steps back from the door, and I walk in. She’s not in sight, but I already smell her. My jaw hardens, and I try not to breathe in, but I have to because I need fucking air.

“You okay?” Ella asks, coming to stand beside me.

“Yes,” I grit.

My eyes roam over the living room. Dad sits on the couch with Vicki, and they bicker back and forth about the basketball game that’s on the TV. Theo’s standing just outside the kitchen doorway, and when he spots me, anger flares in his eyes. Yeah, he doesn’t want me here. Can’t say I blame him. Not my fucking fault though. He can take that shit up with Mom.

Aria’s head peeks around the kitchen doorway, and her reception of me is completely different than her dad’s. Her smile is big as she yells my name and runs toward me. I bend down and scoop her up. It’s been days since I’ve seen her, and I’ve missed her. She throws her arms around my neck and squeezes as hard as she can.

“Hey, boo. How ya been?”

She pulls back and gives me a loud kiss. “I’m good, Uncle Luca, but I’ve missed you.” She pouts and it’s so fucking cute.

“Miss you too. Maybe one night you can come over and we’ll do movies again.”

“Yes!” she yells, damn near bursting my eardrums. Turning her head, she yells again. “Daddy! Can I stay with Uncle Luca one night?”

Theo’s eyes meet mine, and I see the indecision. It pisses me off because he knows I love that little girl like she’s my own. Hate me for my past mistakes, but you don’t fucking punish a child for them.

After a minute, he relents. “Yes. We’ll talk later about it.”

Aria jabbers on excitedly about school stuff and about a play she’s going to be part of. I listen to her chatter and laugh when she tells me about a boy playing with a frog on the playground.

“It wasn’t funny.” Her lip sticks out. “He almost touched me with it.”

“I’m sure you’d be okay if a frog touched you.”

“Nuh-uh,” she responds, shaking her head emphatically. “My friend Missy said if they pee on you, you’ll get warts.”

I chuckle. “That’s just a myth. If it were true, my and your dad’s hands would be covered in warts, because we used to play with frogs all the time.”

She wrinkles her pert little nose. “Just in case, I don’t want no frog pee on me.”

“Well, you’re missing out on some pretty awesome fun. Frogs are cool.”

“Frogs are nasty,” she retorts.

I set her on her feet, then lift my head when I feel her enter the room. It’s like a magnetic force has my eyes automatically finding her. She steps out of the kitchen and looks my way, and I’m caught immobile when her eyes meet mine. My body reacts to hers as if by instinct. It takes everything in me to not stalk across the room just so I’ll be closer to her. Every time I see her, the pull gets stronger. What makes this harder is the open curiosity I see in her gaze as she looks at me. She’s even more beautiful than I remember.

Theo notes my attention on her and his mouth tightens. He walks over to Jules, and I fight back the need to break his fucking arm when he puts it around her waist and tugs her to his side. I notice Jules’s barely concealed flinch when he touches her.

Mom walks out of the kitchen and claps her hands. “Dinner’s ready.” When she spots me, she smiles. “Luca, dear. I’m so glad you made it.”

I drag my gaze away from Theo and Jules and look to Mom. “I can’t stay long. I told Jazz I’d be in later tonight so he could go home early. His wife is sick.”

“Then let’s eat.”

I stay out of the kitchen with Dad and Vicki as the others fit in the small room to make their plates. From where I’m standing, I can see Jules standing off to the side with Aria beside her. The little girl is bouncing on her feet as she talks animatedly to Jules, who looks down at her with a smile. Seeing the two together sends a weird feeling to my chest.

Sensing my eyes on her, Jules looks up. My fucking heart stops, just as it does every time our eyes meet. I grind my molars together and yank my eyes away, the temptation of her getting too fucking strong to resist.

I glance over to Dad and see him watching me, his look thoughtful. I ignore the questions lurking in his gaze.

“How’s the shop?” he asks, thankfully keeping whatever he was thinking to himself.

“Good.” I grunt my answer. “So good, I’m thinking about opening a shop over in Winchester.”

Winchester is the next town over. It’s bigger, about twice the size of Silver Hill, and we get a lot of customers from there. There’s a shop there, but the quality is shit.

“Got any leads on locations?”

“I was thinking either the corner of Bennaview and Rosen or over on Wilson.”

Dad whistles. “Those are prime locations.”

“He’s goin’ uppity,” Vicki puts in.

I give her my middle finger, and she gives me hers in return.

“It’s prime but sits in the center of town, so it’ll pull in customers from all sections. I don’t want to totally wipe out Majic Ink, but it makes it more convenient for customers to find.”

He nods. “Good business move.”

Mom walks out carrying two plates, and hands one to Dad. He leans down to kiss her, then they both walk to the couch. Theo’s kitchen table is too small for all of us to sit at, so some of us have to migrate to the living room. Ella walks out with her plate, and Vicki and I move into the kitchen next.

Aria, Theo, and Jules are already at the table eating. I grab a plate and start piling it high with food.

“Leave some for me, will ya?” Vicki snarks snidely.

Just to piss her off, I grab another deviled egg and stuff it in my mouth.

“Asshole,” she mutters.

I smirk then move down and put two pieces of chicken on my plate. I feel eyes on me, but I ignore them. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, I’m just about to leave the kitchen to eat, but then decide to torture myself and act the bastard by staying in the kitchen.

I set my beer down, turn with my plate in hand, and lean against the counter. I take a couple of bites before lifting my eyes to the occupants of the table, who have been quiet since I walked in the room. Aria, oblivious to the tension, is currently stuffing her face. Theo’s not eating and glaring at me, while Jules sits there stiffly, looking between Theo and me.

The motherfucker that I am enjoys the rigidness in Theo’s body. I know he’s silently wishing me to hell, and I don’t know why I’m provoking him. Maybe it’s the way he’s sitting too close to Jules. Or maybe it’s the way his arm is resting possessively over the back of her chair, even though it’s plain to see it’s making her uncomfortable. It could be the look I saw in his eyes when he spotted us looking at each other in the living room, like he was damning us both.

Or it could just be my unhealthy infatuation with her.

No matter the reason, I’m here now, I’ve seen Jules again, and damned if my ravenous hunger to be around her hasn’t grown stronger. No way am I leaving her vicinity when she’s close by.

I take another bite, then set my fork on my plate and regard Theo.

“Abe wants to know if you’re still interested in kickboxing classes for Aria,” I inform him.

His eyes are still shooting daggers at me, but thankfully he reclines back in his chair, which forces him to drop his arm from Jules. Her shoulders sag with the extra space.

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to afford it now. I need to look at my finances first.”

“Ah, come on, Dad!” Aria whines. “I wanna learn how to kick some ass!”

Jules sucks in a breath at Aria’s language. My jaw clenches because I know the only reason she knows the word is because Theo uses it in front of her a lot, even after the urging of our parents, Ella, and me to watch his language. I swear, me and the rest of the family have been more of a parent to Aria than Theo has.

“Aria.” I say her name firmly. She looks at me, biting her lip, knowing what she did wrong. “You know you’re not supposed to say that word.”

“Back off, Luca. She’s not your kid,” he growls.

I glare at him. “Then parent her better, Theo,” I throw back at him.

“Sorry,” Aria mumbles, her little legs swinging under the chair.

“Anyway,” I state, “I can cover her until you get things figured out. The new classes start soon, and it’s better if she starts from the beginning.”

“Please, Daddy,” Aria begs, already over being reprimanded. The girl can bounce back from anything.

I can tell Theo doesn’t want to give in. He’s never had a problem with taking offers before, so I know it’s just me he doesn’t want to say yes to. His jaw tics, and the hand holding his fork is tight. I wait him out, knowing he’ll eventually give in. I’m proved right a moment later.

“Fine,” he bites reluctantly.

“Yippee!” Aria yells.

I pick up my fork and resume eating. Theo and Jules do the same. My eyes keep drifting to her, no matter how much I try not to look. Every time I do, I can feel the heat of Theo’s eyes on me. The room is silent, except for the clinking of silverware against porcelain.

“I’m done. Can I go play with Pa now?”

Theo pulls his eyes away from me and regards his daughter. “Yes, but put your plate in the sink first.”

She hops from her chair, carries her plate to the sink where it clangs inside the basin, then she runs off. I grab my beer and take a swallow. It turns silent again.

“Hey, son, you’ve got a package you need to sign for at the door,” Dad says, popping his head in the kitchen.

“You can sign for me.”

“Guy said it has to be you.”

His nostrils flare as he gets up from the table and storms out of the kitchen, not wanting to leave me alone with Jules. Just before he steps through the doorway, he shoots me a warning look. I keep mine passive and take a swallow of beer. As soon as he’s out of sight, I point my eyes to Jules. She’s watching me too. Her fingers twist her fork over and over again, giving away her nervousness.

“How have you been?” I ask.

She puts the fork down on her plate and picks up her glass of water but doesn’t take a drink. She looks at the liquid for a moment before putting it back down.

“Good. It’s nice being out of the hospital.”

“You settlin’ here okay?”

She hesitates for only a second before nodding. “Yes. Theo has been great. And little Aria is wonderful to be around.”

Her words say one thing, but the small glimpse of apprehension I saw flash in her eyes before she had a chance to plaster on a fake smile says another. I learned from an early age how to read people, and that disquiet sets off alarm bells.

My back straightens against the counter.

“Jules.” She looks up from the napkin she’s tearing apart at my firm tone. “If anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable, you know you can call any one of us. Do you have Mom’s, Dad’s, and Ella’s numbers?”

I purposely leave out my name. I don’t think Theo would be okay with my number in her phone.

“Yes. Theo gave me a phone and his mom programmed in their numbers.”

I nod. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call one of them.”

“Thank you. I will.”

I take my plate to the trash and dump the few leftover scraps, then carry it to the sink, rinsing both mine and Aria’s and putting them in the decrepit-looking dishwasher. The thing needs to be retired and replaced.

“Have you had any memories return?” I ask once I’m finished. I go back to my spot against the counter.

“No.” She looks down at her lap before lifting her head again. “I’ve been having weird dreams though.”

I cross my arms over my chest.

“What kind of dreams?”

“Umm…,” she begins, purses her lips, then continues. “They’re different sometimes, but the one that happens the most is me in a black room. It’s so dark I can’t see anything. I feel like I’m looking for something, but I’m lost and don’t know the way.”

Her words freeze the air in my lungs. I’m motionless, except for the rapid beat in my chest.

“I try to yell for help, but it’s like I’m paralyzed and can’t move or talk. I feel a presence, and it scares me. It sinister, like it wants to hurt me.” Fear glimmers in her eyes, and her voice lowers. “Sometimes there’s a silhouette of a man. I don’t know who it is, but I feel the menace radiating off him.”

She stops talking, but her eyes hold consternation, like she wants me to explain her dreams to her. I’m speechless, because I have no fucking clue what to say. I’m confused myself. It could just be a coincidence that we’ve both dreamed of being in a black space, but I highly doubt it. It’s too fucking weird. No, we’ve both dreamed of that place for a reason, and I really don’t want to think of that reason right now. I’ll do that shit later when I’m away from her and can think clearly.

I clear my throat and ignore the bad feeling forming in my gut.

“What about your other dreams?”

Colors fills her cheeks and her eyes slide away from mine. Something tells me I’m not going to like these dreams either.

“They’re of me and Theo. We’re… touching and…” She pauses and tucks some hair behind her ear, looking embarrassed and confused. “…making love.”

A splintering pain wedges itself between my ribs, threatening to puncture my heart. An unreasonable amount of anger follows. There’s no reason for it to piss me off or hurt so much knowing that Jules has been dreaming of Theo in that capacity, but it damn sure does. She’s his fucking wife, for Christ’s sake, and I’m just the bastard who has an infatuation with her. She’s not mine, and never will be.

Looking at her, shifting awkwardly in her seat as her eyes avoid mine, I know she senses my unsettling thoughts. I try to rein them in, at least enough to where she doesn’t see them. Outwardly, I soften the features on my face, while inwardly my blood heats to boiling levels.

“It’s okay to have those dreams, Jules,” I tell her through a thick throat. “Maybe they aren’t just dreams, maybe they’re memories.”

“Maybe so,” she returns quietly.

Theo walks back into kitchen then, looking to Jules, then to me, and back to Jules. His jaw hardens when he sees the flush on Jules’s face that hasn’t left yet. I grab my beer, down the rest, and drop it in the trash can.

“I’m leaving.”

I don’t miss the relieved look on Theo’s face, or the frown that pulls down Jules’s lips. I don’t say a word to either of them as I leave the kitchen. I stop in the living room to tell the others goodbye.

“I wish you could stay longer. I haven’t even got to see you,” Mom complains.

“You see me almost every day, Mom.”

“Not so much lately.”

“Helen, let the boy go.”

I look to Dad and see he notices way more than I want him to.

I bend and kiss Mom’s cheek. “I’ll stop by in a day or two for dinner.”

“You better,” she admonishes.

After saying goodbye to Ella, Vicki, Dad, and getting a kiss from Aria, I leave. I’m halfway to my truck when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn and find Theo coming toward me.

“Not now, Theo,” I forestall what I know he’s going to say.

“I want you to stay away from her,” he says angrily.

“That’s hard to do when she’s part of the family. Do you expect me to not come to any family functions? You know damn good and well Mom would never let that happen.”

He stops several feet away, his body tight with tension. He runs his hand through his long hair, then grips the back of his neck.

“You know what I fuckin’ mean, Luca,” he growls.

His eyes look crazed, and guilt once again plagues me. I have no doubt this is driving him crazy, and pulling the shit I did in the kitchen couldn’t have made it easier. He has every right to lay me out, right here and now, and looking at his clenched fists, I know he’s contemplating doing just that.

I sigh heavily. “I’m not going to do anything, Theo. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I thought the same thing the last time and look how that turned out,” he grits between his teeth.

“I swear to you, I won’t. I don’t know what in the hell happened all those years ago, but whatever it was, that shit’s not in me. I feel nothing for Jules.” The lie slips out easily. I do feel something for her. I just don’t know what it is.

He takes a couple steps closer, his expression hardening. He doesn’t stop until he’s in my face.

“Good, because shit won’t happen like it did last time. You touch her, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

If any man other than Theo threatened me like that, I’d drop him faster than a whore drops her panties when she sees a hundred-dollar bill. He has every right to be angry and worried. The menace in his voice would scare most men, but he’s my twin, and I know what he’s capable of. Beat my ass or break a bone or two, yes, but not killing.

“Back off,” I growl. He may have that right, but I still don’t like him in my face. “I’ve told you, nothing will happen.”

After a moment of silence where we both glare at each other, he takes a step back.

“Make sure it doesn’t.”

He turns and storms across the yard, up the stairs, and disappears inside his house. I take a moment to pull in several deep breaths, before walking the remaining distance to my truck. After climbing inside, I peel away from the curb.

As I drive to the shop, I think about Jules’s dream. Not the one where she and Theo are having sex, although that one tries to worm its way inside, but the black room and the sinister silhouette she mentions.

Something tells me I’m that silhouette.