CHAPTER TWENTY

 

Jules

 

I JERK UP IN BED when a loud banging wakes me. I blink quickly, confused when I don’t immediately recognize my surroundings. I look down at the purple blanket covering me then glance over the room. Memories flood in when I remember this is Aria’s room, and I’m at Luca’s house because he came and got me from Theo’s.

I rub my tired eyes, trying to wipe away the sandpapery feeling from just waking up. I must have slept later than I intended, because the sun is already setting.

Another loud bang and a muffled yell have me jumping from the bed. I fly into the hallway, just as I see Luca, wearing a navy-blue shirt, jeans, and wet hair, opening the front door. I brace myself when Theo stalks into the house.

“Where in the fuck is she?” he growls, getting into Luca’s face.

“Where’s Aria?” Luca counters, not backing down as he looks over Theo’s shoulder toward his car.

“With Mom and Dad. Why in the fuck are you so goddamn interested in Aria all the time? She’s my fucking daughter, not yours, Luca. Now, tell me where the fuck Jules is!” he finishes on a roar.

The words have barely left his mouth before Luca slams his fist against Theo’s jaw. I squeak out a cry. It’s as if all Luca was waiting for was to make sure Aria wouldn’t see what he planned to do. Theo stumbles back and hits the wall by the door. Luca steps forward and delivers another brutal punch to his cheek. Blood trickles from the corner of Theo’s mouth. Using the back of his hand, he wipes it away, then looks down at the bloody streak. My hand shakes as I bring it up to cover my mouth.

Theo’s eyes flicker to me, and so much hate reflects in them that I stumble back a step.

Luca steps in front of him, blocking his view of me.

“You don’t get to fucking look at her anymore,” Luca snarls.

“She’s my goddamn wife. I can do whatever the fuck I want,” Theo retaliates.

“Including raping her?” The question comes out on a guttural growl.

Theo doesn’t say anything for a moment, but I can hear both men’s heavy breathing.

“I wasn’t going to fucking rape her,” he grates out.

“You should have stopped the minute she told you to.”

“Fuck you, Luca. You don’t know what happened. You weren’t there.”

When Theo tries to step around Luca, he pushes him back with a hand on his chest. He thumps back against the wall.

“I didn’t need to be there to know she’s fucking scared out of her mind to be near you.”

From the tense way Luca’s holding his body and the hostility in his tone, I know he’s barely refraining from hurting Theo even more. I hate violence and try to avoid it at all costs. As much as I don’t want to face Theo, I know I need to, to get him to leave. I walk further into the living room, purposely putting myself in Theo’s line of sight. His eyes move to me, and a whole slew of emotions pass over his face.

“Please leave, Theo,” I say, putting some strength in my tone.

“I’m not leaving here without you,” he says harshly.

“She’s not going anywhere with you.”

Theo’s eyes slide from mine back to his twin’s. His laugh is vicious as he regards Luca with contempt.

“You’ve wanted this all along, haven’t you? You’ve just been waiting on the perfect time to snatch her from me, just like you did all those years ago. Because you want her all for yourself.”

I suck in a sharp breath. Luca reaches out, grabs Theo by the collar of his shirt, and yanks him forward. He tries to hide it, but I can see the pain those words cause. I have no idea what feelings Luca holds for me or what prompted him to take me all those years ago, but I know he holds an insurmountable amount of guilt over it. I saw it in his eyes when I opened to door the day he came to check on me.

“You’re a motherfucking bastard, Theo, for trying to turn this shit around on me. Do I want her? Fuck yes, I do. But I damn sure wouldn’t lay a hand on her.”

“But you fucking did,” Theo roars.

“Not the way you did.”

Something sinister enters Theo’s eyes. They flip to me then back to Luca. “But you fucking did,” he repeats, his tone low and holding a sick sense of satisfaction.

Shock slams into me, and a pain so sharp it sucks away all the breath in my lungs has tears rushing to my eyes. I reach out to the wall beside me, fearing my legs will give out at any minute.

My eyes slice to Luca to see the hand still gripping Theo’s shirt collar shake. His face is ghost white. He releases Theo and takes a step back, his eyes never leaving the man in front of him. Disbelief and agony cross his face.

“You’re fucking lying.” Utter devastation laces Luca’s tone.

Theo straightens his shirt, then lifts his lip in a sneer. “Am I? You think you’re better than me? But guess what? You’re worse. I had her years ago because she wanted me, not you. You can’t say the fucking same. The only time you had her was when you took what wasn’t yours to have. At least she wanted me to fuck her at one point in her life. She’s never wanted that from you.”

A burning sensation starts in my lower stomach. The more Theo talks, the hotter it gets and the higher it travels up my chest until it feels like my torso is engulfed in flames.

What he’s saying can’t be true. I would have remembered being so gruesomely violated. Bile rises in my throat when something flashes in my head. A remembered pain. A feeling of something being stolen from me.

Tearing clothes.

Being held down.

Unbearable pain.

Terrifying fear.

And utter despair.

My eyes move back to Luca, whose chest is rising and falling as he inhales and exhales heavily. His body is taut and his hands clench and unclench at his sides, and I know the internal struggle he must be fighting.

“Come on, Jules, we’re going home,” Theo barks.

I open my mouth to speak, but Luca beats me to it.

“No,” he snarls. His eyes pin Theo in place when he makes a move toward me. “She’s not going anywhere with you. I’ll call Mom and Dad to come get her and she can stay with them.”

“The fuck you say. She’s coming—”

“Leave, Theo.” Gathering my courage, I walk further into the room until I’m only a few feet away from both men. “I’m not going home with you.”

His scowl transforms his face from handsome into something scary. Hatred. Pure and absolute. The look sends shivers racing down my spine. I have to force my legs to stay in place instead of moving back to get away from him.

He doesn’t say anything. Just gives Luca a look of contempt before turning and slamming through the door. His departure is resounding, leaving behind a sorrowful quietness.

Luca’s still facing forward, looking at the closed door, the muscle in his jaw working hard. All I can do is stand there and stare at him. I’m left not knowing what to say or do or feel.

He clears his throat, but when he talks, it comes out gravelly. “I’m gonna go call Mom and have her pick you up.”

Before he takes two steps, I reach out and grab his arm. He flinches then looks down at my hand, so I release him.

“Don’t,” I plead quietly.

His eyes snap to mine, brow furrowing. “Why?”

“Because I want to stay here.”

His lips tighten as his frown deepens. “Why?” he repeats.

That’s the million-dollar question. I don’t know why I want to stay. I should be petrified to be around him, especially alone, and a small part of me is. My brain tells me to get as far away from him as possible, but my instincts tell me I’m safer here than anywhere else. It perplexes me because the fear I should feel toward Luca isn’t there. I still feel like he’s my safe haven. It’s stupid and crazy, I realize, but it feels like this is where I’m supposed to be.

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I just… I just feel safe here.”

My answer shocks him. It’s in the widening of his eyes and the stiffness of his body.

“Are you sure?”

I don’t need to think about my answer. “Yes.”

After a moment, he gives a jerky nod.

“Thank you.”

He gives another nod before he turns away from me. Both hands run through his hair agitatedly. Something on the back of his arm catches my eye, and I take a closer look. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve noticed Luca’s tattoos, his arms are covered in them so there’s no way I couldn’t, but I’ve never seen this one before. It’s a dandelion in the shape of a heart. The seeds were blowing away in the wind, each one a different color. The words l'amour est gratuit, love is free, are written along the stem. It’s a beautiful piece of art, and I wonder what the meaning behind it is.

When he faces me again, my stomach flips at the stark pain in his eyes. My own pain aside, I can’t imagine what Luca is going through. To be accused of attacking, raping, and causing someone to be in a seven-year coma and not remember a minute of it is something most people wouldn’t be able to handle.

“I’m going outside for a while. There’s chili on the stove. You should eat.”

And with that, he walks away, leaving me alone in more ways than one.

 

 

IT’S LATE BY THE time he comes back in. I went to the kitchen when he left, made myself a bowl of chili, and ate it at the kitchen table. Unsure of what to do after I finished, I went to the living room, where I made myself comfortable on the couch and waited for him to return. I know he has things to work out in his head, but I hate being left alone. I hate even more that he was wherever, doing whatever he was doing, alone himself. I’m sure his conscience was eating him alive.

That was hours ago. I’m still sitting on the couch, a blanket thrown over my lap, the only light in the room coming from the kitchen.

Luca immediately notices me when he walks through the back door.

“What are you doing sitting in the dark?” he asks gruffly.

I shrug and run my hands over the small blanket. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Guilt passes over his face and that’s the last thing I want him to feel. I know he already carries enough. No matter what’s happened in the past, he came to my rescue today, and for that, I’m grateful.

I slide my feet to the floor and get up. “Would you like me to make you a bowl of chili?” I feel restless and need something to do.

“No,” he grunts.

“Okay.” I look down at my clasped hands, stupidly feeling rejected by his answer. It’s a freaking bowl of chili.

“Jules, I—”

My head snaps up when he starts talking, knowing what he’s going to say, and I hold my hand up to stop him.

“Please.” My voice cracks. “Just don’t. I don’t remember and neither do you. I’d prefer to pretend like Theo never said what he did.”

“How can you simply ignore what he said? What I did….” he trails off, baring his teeth. “That’s not something you should ignore. How in the fuck can you stomach being around me? Why in the hell aren’t you running screaming? Fuck, Jules, I rap—”

“Stop!” I yell and hold up my hand. I’m not sure I can take him rehashing what Theo threw at us earlier. “Please, just stop, okay?” I beg in a low voice.

His expression turns tortured, and I can practically feel his pain radiating off his body and into mine. His heartache becomes my own, and it leaves me even more confused than I was before. Maybe I don’t hold the fear and pain I should feel because I don’t remember the event, even if something in the back of my head niggles at me. Or maybe it’s because I don’t want to believe it. No matter the reason, it’s apparent Luca is really struggling more than me, and that knowledge bothers me more than what he was accused of in the first place.

His eyes track me as I walk over to him, his jaw tensing the closer I get. I tip my head back once I’m standing in front of him. His unique spicy scent drifts around me, warming me from the inside out. It’s been this way since I realized it was him that was visiting me at night in the hospital while I was sleeping. The light from the kitchen is behind him, so he’s left in shadows, but I still see him well enough to notice the dusky scruff covering his face. Tingles form in my belly, and I should be disgusted with myself and ashamed when, not for the first time, I feel an erotic link between us. I’ve seen the way he looks at me, so I know he feels the same. I wish I was brave enough to reach out and slide my fingertips across the light dusting on his face, just to see what it feels like.

There are so many circumstances that should prevent me from feeling anything but hate toward Luca, but that’s the last thing I feel.

“I wanted to thank you for standing up for me against Theo. I know it can’t be easy because he’s your brother.”

This close, even in the dim light, I see the irises in his electric blue eyes swallow up the black pupils, making his eyes look even more stunning.

“My brother is a fucking idiot,” he rumbles softly.

I nod my agreement.

We stand there, just staring at each other, both deep in thought. I break our stare, unable to hold his remorseful one any longer. It’s then that I spot the dried blood on his hand. A sharp breath leaves my lips and tears prick the back of my eyes as I reach for his hand and bring it closer to my face.

“What did you do?” I ask, unable to hold back the worry in my voice.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbles.

With the low lighting, I can’t see the full damage, so I grip his wrist and tug him to the kitchen and over to the sink. When I get a good look, my heart fractures at the mangled mess of his knuckles.

“Where’s your first aid kit?”

When he doesn’t answer right away, I glance up. His eyes search mine, something dark playing along the edges.

“Luca?”

He clears his throat. “Under the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.”

I leave him to go grab the first aid kit then bring it back with me, along with a clean washcloth I found in the small closet in the bathroom. Setting it down on the counter, I take out gauze, peroxide, ointment, and surgical tape and place them beside it. He’s leaning against the counter, his eyes on me the whole time, making me a jittery mess.

I turn the water on, grab his hand, and place it underneath the stream. Some of the blood washes away, but some has dried and sticks to the broken skin.

“This wasn’t done just by hitting Theo,” I state without looking at him.

“No.”

I peek up at him and still find his eyes watching me. I look back down, wet the cloth, and gently rub it over the cuts.

“How?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

It does matter, because I know whatever happened, happened because of me. It’s because of me he was hurt. A searing pain lances my chest, but I force the discomfort away.

Once most of the blood is gone, I pour peroxide over the wounds, the liquid foaming. I pour another generous amount.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly. I can’t stand the thought of me causing him pain.

A hand appears in my vision a second before it cups my cheek and he lifts my face up to his. I blink away the tears that formed in my eyes.

His voice is deep, but unyielding when he says, “Don’t ever apologize for anything to do with this situation. You are the only one innocent here. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

I nod and close my eyes. Unconsciously, my head tilts to the side, enjoying the roughness of his hand on my face. I don’t know where all these feelings for Luca are coming from, but in the few hours I’ve been here, my awareness of him has intensified. It’s like I feel free when he’s near.

“Jules.” Luca’s whisper has my eyes opening.

“What?” I whisper back.

His throat bobs, and torment flashes over his face, along with some other emotions I’m too hopeful to name.

“We should go to bed.”

My eyes widen and flutters form in my stomach. The thought filters through my mind that I’m not near as afraid to go to bed with Luca as I was with Theo. The thought of lying in bed with Luca’s arms wrapped around me actually sounds very appealing.

Sensing my train of thought, one corner of his mouth tips up. “I meant you in your bed and me in mine.”

A nervous laugh escapes my lips. I look down and finish with his hand. Once it’s cleaned and bandaged, I throw away the used gauze and put everything back in the kit.

“Thank you.”

I turn to face him, offering a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

After a moment of silence, he takes a step back from me. “I’ll see you in the morning. If you need anything, come get me.”

I don’t want the night to be over, but I know we’re both exhausted from the day’s events. Besides, I’ll see him in the morning, just like he said.

“Okay,” I reply faintly.

“Good night, Jules.”

“Good night, Luca.”

I walk away, leaving him in the kitchen. Up until now, ever since I woke from the coma, and except for seeing Aria, I’ve dreaded what the following day would bring. Now though, I can’t wait for tomorrow.