Chapter Seventeen
Jessica
She didn’t know what to even say when her mom opened the door. Jessica had emailed her mother before she’d left for San Francisco. She’d portrayed it as inane over the email, as just “boy troubles”. If she had to explain about the twins, about Brent, about everything, then that had to be in person. Why she sought out her mother after so long, Jessica wasn’t completely sure.
Maybe it was because she had no moral high ground anymore.
Her mother had made mistakes, too, but nothing had been as big in her whole family as becoming pregnant with twins by your father’s close friend and a man twice your age. That was her mess, her disaster to atone for. Maybe she just needed someone around who’d screwed up almost as badly. If she talked to her dad, then he’d know. Then, there would be judgment and speeches, and he’d probably try to kill Brent.
The woman before her was older than she remembered. Then again, the last time she’d talked to her mother was at her high school graduation. Her mom’s dark hair was cut in a short, dark bob, but by now, Jessica could see the streaks of gray creeping into it. Franny Billings – no wait, it was Vance now – had flawless skin. No hint of lines there, but since she’d remarried a Silicon Valley tech guru, her mother probably had access to all the Botox she wanted. Who knew. She had access to anything she wanted, and no child to worry about.
Jessica stroked her belly with her hand. No matter what else ever happened, she’d be there for her children. She’d never run from them.
“Jessica? It’s been ages. Come here!” Her mother threw her arms around her shoulders and gripped her tighter. “God, I’ve missed you.”
Her mom rubbed large, comforting circles on the back of her shoulders, and Jessica relaxed into the embrace. Maybe she shouldn’t, but she felt so broken, so alone without anywhere else to go. How did the saying go? ‘Home was where they had to take you in?’
“Mom, I… I messed up,” she managed to choke out before she started crying.
Her mom nodded and broke the hug long enough to pick up her suitcase and show her into the living room of her home. They sat down on the sofa, and Jessica noticed some tea and water was already set out for her. Gratefully, she picked up the water bottle and guzzled it down.
“Now, I’m so surprised to see you. You’re so big. You looked like a kid graduating high school, but you’re so grown now.”
“That happens after three years, and a lot of college life. Not that it’s been exciting till this summer. I studied a lot, focused on trying to get into a good Ph.D. program for lemur studies, but I just… Mom, you don’t even know.”
“I think I have an idea. You haven’t talked to me since high school.”
Jessica’s grip on the water bottle grew tighter until the plastic crumpled in her grip. “You haven’t talked to me.”
“After we fought, and you said some nasty things to Harold at your graduation, I thought I’d give it some rest. I thought maybe if you just had a chance to calm down and get used to the remarriage, things would be better, that you’d be able to handle things.”
“You didn’t reach out to me.”
“You didn’t call me either, honey. I just thought it was best, that maybe after college you’d finally seek me out. After that fight at your last graduation, well, I figured you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
Tears gathered at the corner of her mother’s eyes, and it hit Jessica like a two-by-four to the face. It was true. She’d been so hurt when her mother had cheated. Even though it was normal for a person to bring their new husband to family events – and she and Harold had already been married a couple years by then – Jessica just hadn’t wanted to accept that her family was changing. She’d called her mom horrible names when they’d tried to take pictures after the ceremony. Unforgivable things.
Pushed her away.
Just like she was doing to Brent now, but his father had started it. She couldn’t let her children be near a monster like that as their grandpa, and she couldn’t risk letting Donald Sanderson ruin her father’s career.
No choices.
Hence being here, but she hadn’t realized how she’d pushed her mom away as hard as her mom had just fallen from her inner circle.
“I was just hurt, Mom. You cheated. You cheated and then Harold was in our life, and I don’t even know. It’s all so broken.” She couldn’t hold back her own tears any longer. Maybe she’d blame the hormones from the pregnancy. After the shitty forty-eight hours she’d had, could anyone really blame her?
Her mom swept her up into her arms and rocked with her. “So much did happen. I was waiting for a chance to explain myself to you, about how I met Harold, about why everything changed, but you were never ready. Are you now?”
Jessica gulped in air and nodded against her mother’s shoulder. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Her mom stroked her hair and continued to do so as she spoke: “I shouldn’t have done what I did, but it was so hard. You were in middle school, and we were already trying to plan for the cost of college. Your father quit his job at Fox to come and work with his good friend at a tiny upstart indie studio. We struggled for a few years, had a month or two where I had to beg my father for the money for utilities till the studio started turning profits. It was so hard to struggle for every single thing. Your father was gone sixteen hours a day, and Harold… he was there, and he listened.”
“And rich?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I don’t gold-dig.”
Jessica shuddered in her mom’s arms. Wasn’t that exactly what Donald Sanderson was accusing her of? She’d always picked at her mother for choosing Harold over her dad, but deep down, didn’t it look like she’d been as shallow with Brent? There were always hidden reasons behind choices, things that the public – even the rest of your family – couldn’t see. Jessica was only now beginning to see that. To understand that it wasn’t always black and white.
Her father wasn’t necessarily the hero of her parents’ marriage and her mother the villain.
Just like Jessica wasn’t some innocent girl Brent had seduced or some seductress out to take his money. Reality was far more complicated than that. It always had been.
“Mom, it just hurts. Why does everything hurt?” She sniffled and picked her head up to look into brown eyes so like her own. “I’m so scared.”
“Honey,” her mom said, squeezing her shoulders, “for right now, we’re all right. I knew it would take you time on your own schedule to get used to everything, to come to terms with Harold and me. I’m not mad. I’m just grateful you came. But I know something must be very wrong. What happened?”
“Mom, I messed up. I was working as a nanny for Brent Sanderson, but things changed and I – we – fell in love or I thought we did. Now, I’m pregnant.”
Her mom’s eyes went wide but stayed concerned. “How far along are you?”
“Getting close to five months and with twins. I’m going to keep them, but Brent and I fought before I could even tell him. I can’t… Mom, I just can’t be with him.”
“But he doesn’t even know about the twins yet? Are you sure he wouldn’t be a good father? From what I remember of him with that little girl, Cara, he’s very sweet. He seemed to be so invested as a dad.”
“Mom, it’s too complicated. He wants to get us back on track, but there’s too much going on. I just need a place to crash and rest. Is that okay?”
Her mom hugged her again. “You can stay as long as you want. But just think about talking to Brent and at least letting him make the choice about the children. You have a tendency to cut and run so hard.” She stroked a strand of Jessica’s dark hair behind her ear. “Just don’t let that hurt you again. Don’t let that hurt my grandchildren, all right?”
Jessica sniffled. “Man, that was easier than I thought somehow. I figured you’d lecture me.”
Her mom laughed. “Oh, I will. But you’re too upset to let it all sink in yet. Once you get your plans set and feel better, believe me, I intend to talk your ear off about responsibility.”
Jessica bit back the petty response she would have indulged in a few short years ago. Her mom had been irresponsible about a lot of things, but so had she. Maybe they could build things back again, make it better than they’d been. Hell, maybe they could learn to be responsible together.
She sure hoped so.
***
The bed had been so comfortable that it hadn’t taken long for Jessica to lay back and relax. One moment, she’d been staring up at the ceiling waiting for a visit from the sandman. The next, she’d found herself back at Brent’s estate. No, correction to that. She was at Donald Sanderson’s home. Before her in the living room, Cara – looking taller and leaner – was playing on the carpet with two toddlers. Two little boys with unruly dark curls and eyes an icy blue.
Confused, Jessica rushed into the living room and looked at Cara. “I… We’re in San Francisco. I… The twins haven’t even been born yet.”
“What are you talking about, Jess? Kyle and Will have been here for a long time!”
“No, that’s not it at all. I… We can’t be here. Your grandfather could be home at any moment.”
“I’m here now,” Donald Sanderson said, striding into the room with all the confidence of the captain of industry he was. “It’s time for lessons.”
“Okay, color me completely confused,” Jessica said, her head spinning. “This isn’t real. I mean, this can’t be happening.”
Donald sat on the sofa and pulled out a few manila envelopes from his briefcase. “Today, I was going to teach the children how to ruin a career. Won’t that be helpful.”
Jessica rushed to the two little boys and gathered them up in her arms. “You can’t. They’re my kids.”
“They’re Sandersons, and Sandersons are taught how to win at all costs. It’s what I expect of Cara, and it’s what the next heads of my company will be experts in.”
“Brent and I…”
Donald shook his head. “You know that’s not how it works. Brent does everything I tell him. He might put up a good front of being opposed to me, hating me as much as you do, but he still lives here, doesn’t he? He lets Cara see me all the time, right? Then he has to be like me deep down, doesn’t he?”
She pulled her sons tighter to her. “You can’t do this to my children. I won’t let you. I definitely won’t let you ruin them.”
“I’m not,” Donald said, setting the folders on his lap and stroking his beard. “I’m making them better, making them like me. Now…” He opened the top sheaf of information. “… let’s talk about one Allen Billings, let’s figure out how best to bankrupt him. Shall we children?”
Cara grinned and laughed. “Good idea!”
Her sons broke away from her and sat on either side of Donald, giggling and cuddling up with Grandpa. One of them hugged him tight and said, “Can we do other things, too?”
Donald nodded. “I like how you think, Kyle. We can always get a bit more creative with the physical side of threatening, can’t we?”
Then, Donald turned to Jessica, and his smile stretched and grew, distorted his face till it was impossibly wide. Extra teeth seemed to grow from nowhere, and it was like looking at the great snapping jaws of a great white. Jessica screamed and screamed.
“We can do so many things now, children. Anything I want.”