The flight to Ireland was a little over an hour on Lars’s private jet. Despite clouds and heavy rain, the plane landed smoothly on the tarmac in Belfast.

Lorcan and I had stayed on opposite sides of the jet. I tried to read over the material Lars left us, but all I heard were the giggles from the two obscenely hot stewardesses Lars employed. I recognized them from our flight to Greece. What a difference a year and half makes. Last time I’d flown in this jet, I’d been lying in Jared’s lap on the seats across from me. Hands interlaced, kissing, laughing and talking the whole trip, our innocent love bubbling around protecting us in our own little world. Now, looking back, I saw the problems between us were already beginning, but I was far too enamored to see it then.

Tears sprang to my eyes, picturing his smile, his hand swiping back my hair, the love in his face as he looked down at me. Little did I know then what was to come.

God, I miss you, Jared. He was my first love. A best friend. No matter what that would never change. I would forever love him, and I now realized love comes in all different shapes and sizes.

Lorcan’s laugh came from the back. Subtly, I looked between the seats.

“Whoa, there.” He lifted the brunette’s hand from the crotch of his pants. “Be careful there. That’s not the beast you want to mess with right now.”

“Oh I think I do,” the other said. Both girls seemed eager to provide Lorcan with all the perks of riding this airline.

They had addressed me formally as Queen, made sure I was comfortable, then proceeded to fall over themselves to serve Lorcan. And it was not coffee they wanted to deliver.

My breakfast threatened to resurface at just the idea of him going to the back room with them. Every time I heard his jeans rub against the leather chair, my eyes darted over, making sure he hadn’t gotten up to follow them.

“Be careful what you ask for, sweetheart.” He winked at the girl.

Lightning zapped through my bones, crackling with fury. I understood fae thought of sex differently than humans did. There were no sluts or manwhores. Sex to them was as natural as breathing. And they did it often, with many lovers. No judgment or shaming.

But I wanted to shove those girls out of the hatch... without parachutes.

Lorcan’s gaze somehow found mine between the gap in the chairs, a smirk growing on his face.

Let’s see if beasts can fly too. I growled to myself. He was converting me into a vindictive monster. I swiveled around, staring out the side window at the thick mist rolling over the wings of the plane.

He didn’t move from his seat but ate up their attention like it was raw venison. Laughing louder than I had ever heard him, smiling bigger than his natural smile.

An hour flight felt longer than the entire nine hours to Greece.

I was so happy to get off the plane and away from the swimsuit models, I almost knocked them over in my rush to get off. Too bad I couldn’t leave him behind too. Then they could go at it like rabbits, and I wouldn’t have to see or hear it.

“Hey, what’s gotten up your ass this morning?” Lorcan caught up with me, tugging the pack Lars had provided us onto his back. “Phone sex with fairy boy had to be subpar... still far too tense there, li’l Druid.”

I gritted my teeth, not responding to his jabs. Actually a part of me wanted to laugh. The brothers were so similar in ways. Eli had called Torin the same thing when he was pursuing Ember. Probably still did.

“Do I detect some jealousy?” He prodded at my temper.

“No.”

“Really? Because you’re looking awfully green.”

“Because you make me ill.”

Lorcan snorted and let it drop as we walked out to the front of the airport.

“Keep your head down.” Lorcan flipped up my hood when we got near other people. “And stop touching your face like you have Tourette’s. It pulls focus.” He grabbed my hand from reaching to my nose, pushing at my imaginary glasses.

I hadn’t even realized I was doing it. I had worn glasses from the time I was four; the habit to push them up my nose was ingrained in me. I hated not having them. Even if my vision had improved, I felt naked without them.

We caught a taxi to town. Lars didn’t want to risk using any of his connections, just in case. They were people he employed and trusted with his life, but he was still afraid something might leak. Lorcan told the driver to drop us off at the train station. From there we weaved through the area like we were trying to lose a tail and came out the other side.

Lorcan found a hostel, which was the perfect place to get lost in a sea of young adults too drunk or busy to notice anything around them. We got the last private room with a sink but still had to share the bathroom with others.

“Head to the room. I’ll be right back.” Lorcan handed me the key.

“Where are you going?” I stopped my hand from rising to my face, not able to hide the slight concern in my voice.

“Go upstairs and stay there. I’ll be back.” He wagged his head, making for the door.

Yep, I should have tossed him out of the plane.

I proceeded to our room, opening the door on a single bed, nightstand, and sink in the corner. Simple. Small. And trouble. I glared at the bed like it was taunting me. Guess a beast was going to get friendly with the floor tonight.

I took two steps into the room when my sight blanked out, my awareness ripped from the present, hurtling me to a different time and place.

 

Flash.

My body swayed to the beat of the music, the stickiness of a lot of bodies crammed into a small space all dancing around me. Only dim lights outlined the forms on the crowded dance floor. Lifting my head, I stared into a pair of brown eyes, glasses rimming the cute mysterious face of the guy I was dancing with. He smiled nervously down at me, his hands clenching my hips. He leaned in like he wanted to kiss me, but stopped, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

I only hesitated a second before I raised on my toes, my mouth finding his.

 

Flash.

A jail cell surrounded me. I looked down feeling heaviness tugging at my wrists. Thick chains wrapped around my wrists.

“Ken...” I glanced to the left. Sitting against the same wall, another prisoner was shackled by the neck, ankles, and wrists.

“West!” I tried to yell his name, but nothing came out, something holding back my words.

He stared straight ahead, his hands rolled in fists, body vibrating with tension, like he was ready to jump up.

“Whatever happens, I’ve got you,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry. I had no choice.”

Flash.

 

“Shit, Kennedy!” My name flung me out of the vision, opening my eyes to a pair of emerald ones, so deep and beautiful I wanted to go swimming in them, bask in their brilliance.

“Fuck.” The man’s hand went to my forehead, holding it against my skin. A sharp sting raced across my head and I sucked in. “I’m here. You’re safe…I’ve got you.” Worry creased his face, and I couldn’t help but reach up, my fingers trying to smooth out the lines.

In my core, I knew I was safe. He felt like home.

At my touch, he swallowed.

“What do you hear?” he asked me. The sentence was like a trigger, slamming me fully back into my body.

Lorcan.

Hostel.

“Tell me,” he coaxed. “What do you smell? Feel?”

“I hear the buzz of fluorescent lights.” My limbs shook as I tried to sit up. “I smell moldy, dirty carpet.”

“Go slow.” Lorcan’s hand stayed at my forehead, his other hand helping me sit back against the bed. A trickle of liquid slid past my eye down my face. “You’re bleeding pretty good.” He leaned up, grabbed one of the towels left for us on the bed, and replaced his hold with the cloth, his hand drenched in blood. “What do you feel?”

“I feel like someone hit my head with a bat.” I cringed when he adjusted the towel.

“No, but it looks like you tried to head-butt the bed railing. Is that how you Druids say hello?” He tried to smile, but instead reflected the pain flinching across my expression. “It was a close fight. Think I’m going have to give it to the bedframe this round.”

“Shut up.” I laughed before the sting on my forehead lit up.

His expression turned serious as he touched my jaw lightly, drifting to my ear. He barely pulled it, but it was more out of habit than me needing that dose of pain to clear my head. The gash on my forehead was doing it well enough.

“Another vision?”

“Yeah…” I tried to think back. “It didn’t make sense. West was in one, I think. And I was…” I tapered off, not wanting to bring up I had been kissing someone else. A stranger. Who was that guy?

“West? What the hell was he doing in it?”

“We were locked in some underground dungeon or something...” I tapered off, the memories becoming soft and patchy.

“And I wasn’t there?” He leaned back.

I shook my head.

He frowned, pulling the towel away from my head inspecting the cut. He stood, going to the sink, wetting the cotton before kneeling before me again. “Hold it there. It’s still gushing.”

I healed fast, but still a lot slower than fae.

Holding the towel in place, I finally looked around the room. A grocery bag lay by the door, tipped on its side, items spilling out, like it had been thrown down.

“What’d you get?” I nodded toward the bag as I leaned back against the mattress. The vision had been bad, but this was the second time I’d recovered so fast from one.

Actually they had been better since...

I swiped my mind clear of that thought. He made them better because he knew my ritual of getting out of them. He had been there when I had my first one and quickly learned what grounded me back to earth. That was all.

“Why don’t you heal yourself then we can deal with what’s in the bag.”

“I’m intrigued.” I used the bed to get to my feet. “Or scared.”

“Nothing to be scared over.” He swiped up the bag, bringing it over to the bed. “Go heal yourself.”

I walked to the sink, staring into the mirror. Blood caked my hairline and leaked down my face.

The spell danced off my tongue, twirling up to my head in a variety of colors. The skin threaded itself back together, closing the wound right in front of my eyes. It still floored me I could do stuff like this. It really was badass. And now that I had a taste of magic, I never wanted to be without it. It was seductive and addictive. How I lived so long without it, I couldn’t imagine anymore.

After I cleaned away the blood, I turned back to Lorcan. He had all the items from the bag out on the bed.

“I fought with Lars this morning. I don’t want you here—”

“Dammit, Lorcan. I thought we already went over this?” I cut him off. The bullet of hurt embedded into my chest. “I am part of it. You cannot dictate what I do. It’s my kingdom, my people. I will not sit out while it falls in ruins.”

“Great. Can I finish my sentence?” Lorcan’s mouth flattened, a glimpse of a warning in his gaze.

“Sorry.” I folded my arms around my middle.

“Lars did agree with me on one thing: your appearance is still too noticeable. If we are to go undercover into the enemy’s den, no one can recognize you.” Lorcan sat on the bed. “He was firm you had to be here. Your being a Druid was our best bet to get close.”

“I agree with Lars.”

Lorcan squinted at the ceiling, inhaling deeply.

“Then what do you have in mind?” I moved closer to the bed, taking notice of the hair dye, scissors, fake tattoos, and what looked like a hoop earring. “A disguise?”

“We can’t have anyone recognize you. Also, no one would believe, looking the way you do now, you could hurt anything, much less fight fae.” He motioned to me.

“What does that mean?”

“Ken, you are beautiful.” He tipped his head to the side. “Breathtaking…but too wholesome looking to be taken seriously in any kind of rebellion.”

My fingers touched a box of hair dye. “And you think turning me ‘raven black’ is going to do that?” I smiled at the irony of the name of the dye.

“It’s a start.” He grinned, picking up the pair of scissors.

“Oh. No.” I shook my head at the sharp shears. My hair reached my lower back and had been my mother’s pride and joy. I always had it long.

“Doesn’t have to be up to your ears, but it needs to be different.” He reached up brushing a line at my bicep. “Like to here. It will still be long. Believe me, I don’t want to touch your hair, but you can’t have hair the same as the Queen’s.”

I sucked in my bottom lip. He was right. I had to fit my part, and anything still resembling the Queen would put us in danger.

“Okay. But only to here.” I tapped at the same spot he had indicated.

A wicked grin yanked at the side of his mouth. “You trust me to cut it?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “Because you know I can take you down now if you mess with me.”

“Sounds fun.” Red flared at the rims of his gaze, our eyes meeting, driving a truck through my lungs. He snapped his head back toward the items on the bed, seizing the fake tattoos. “Also, no one would ever imagine the Queen having a raven tattooed behind her ear, or an Awen symbol on her shoulder.”

“And how are earrings changing my image?” I motioned at the rings on the bed.

“Those don’t go in your ears.” He smirked.

“Did you actually get me nipple piercings?” I choked out.

He burst into laughter, grabbing the package, his head wagging. “Damn, I wish I had now.” He stood up, standing in front of me, his laughter dying away. “That would be so fucking hot…but this is for your nose. Radicals are into piercings.” He lifted an eyebrow.

He was so close, and his breath curled down my neck, heating my breasts. Torching desire drove from the tips of my hair to my feet, wanting nothing more than for him to seize me into his arms, not letting me think, or giving me a choice. Just taking…

“O-kay.” I took a step back, needing space to clear my head. “I’ll start with the dye.”

He grabbed the box off the bed and tossed it to me.

Since I couldn’t glamour like fae and there were no long-term spells I could use to change my appearance, there seemed to be no other option. The Druid part of me, the one longing to defy my sweet side, settled into the driver’s seat, ready to take control of the wheel.

“Goooodbye to Saaandra Dee.” I hummed homage to Grease under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I went to the sink, staring once again at the girl in the mirror.

I was sick of being scared and unsure. I was Queen. Looking the part was one thing. For once I wanted to feel it. I tore the hair dye box open.

Goodbye to Kennedy Anne.

 

 

“Wow.” I stared wide-eyed at my reflection, shorter silky black tresses dangled to my shoulder blades, feeling like two pounds had been lifted from my head. I swung my head, loving the way it swished and tickled my arms. The simple color change and cut completely altered my appearance. My skin, already fair, looked even paler, in contrast. My brown eyes shone sharper and brighter, especially when I lined them with thick black eyeliner.

I looked older. Tougher. A girl who was not afraid to fight.

“Very goth.” Lorcan came behind me, watching me in the mirror.

Wrinkles formed at the bridge of my nose. “Goth?” In high school it was equivalent to being called a nerd. Unimaginative and derivative. Not really an insult.

“Sexy, dark, and mysterious.” Lorcan flipped my hair to the side, his fingers sliding below my ear. My body went still, every nerve going numb except where he touched. “I think this is a good spot for your moniker.”

“Moniker?”

He grabbed the fake tattoo and a wet cloth. “Raven.”

“Raven,” I repeated the name, looking at myself say it. It felt as natural to say as Kennedy, like it had always belonged to my Druid self. “I like it.”

Lorcan wiped my skin, cleaning it before placing the tattoo on the spot, rubbing it with the cloth again. Holding it in place for several minutes, he then peeled the paper away, leaving a black raven in mid-flight stained on my neck.

“This one is infused with magic and should last for a month. Hopefully you won’t need it past that.”

His chest bumped my shoulder, his fingers grasping my chin and the back of my neck, tipping my head to the side. Leaning in, he blew on the tattoo, his breath running down my neck, sending shivers over my skin. I swallowed, feeling my body come to life.

What was it about us? We kept saying goodbye, set in our decision, only to find ourselves right back here. He was a force I could not fight, no matter if we were good for each other or not. Lorcan would forever be my weakness, the flame I could not help but fly into and burn up once I touched it.

Tugging my sweater up, he added another large tattoo to my shoulder blade. You couldn’t just find the mark of Awen in a shop, so he drew the character himself with a magic-infused pen. It was huge, taking up most of my shoulder, but we had no time to be subtle. We had to get this group’s attention.

Air softly stroked my skin like they were his fingers as he dried the tattoo, his mouth close to my shoulder. My lungs clenched, a tiny gasp escaping. Over my shoulder, green eyes met mine in the glass, the intensity parching my mind of lucid thoughts. Our connection pulled me under until I could no longer breathe.

He broke away first, curving back for the bed. With his back turned, I momentarily closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain my footing.

“Two more things.” He ripped open another package, seizing a small hoop between his fingers, clipping it between my nostrils.

Raven, the Druid extremist, formed before my eyes.

Pulling out an item from his jacket pocket, he slid the dark red frames up my nose, hooking them on my ears.

“Lorcan…” I took in a deep breath, his gesture cutting deep across my heart.

“I know they aren’t your normal prescription. But it’s not like you really need them anyway.” He turned his head away from my watery gaze. “I personally don’t think Raven should have glasses at all, but watching you today absently touch your face repeatedly, people would notice.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. He nodded and moved farther away from me. I glanced back at the girl and took her in. I was already dressed in all black and with combat boots. Lorcan picked up a dark green army-style jacket with patches on it, fitting my new image better than the expensive stylish one Lars had given me. The differences were startling; I was a completely different girl. The Seelie Queen was nowhere in sight.

“You ready?” Lorcan pulled on his beanie and gloves. “Might as well start tonight.”

One last glance in the mirror and I nodded. “Yes.” Raven had emerged and was ready to play her part.