“I don’t like this, my lady.” Torin stood in my room, watching me stuff some clothes in a bag. Lots of dark items with hoods.

“Torin, we’ve been over this.” I brushed past him, heading into my closet, if that’s what you wanted to call it. The former royalty had closets the size of my entire house growing up. It was a waste of space for me and most of it was empty now, cleared out of anything belonging to Aneira. The entire castle had been gutted of her, but I still felt the presence of the former Seelie Queen slithering in the walls, embedded in the precise stone of its foundations. Eventually I wanted to redesign the structure, put my own stamp on it, and banish everything reminding me of the war, of all the people’s blood soaking the land. But that had to be low on my priority list.

“I still feel the need to say it again. I think this is a mistake.” Torin trailed behind me like a puppy, emanating a mix of frustration and nervousness in me. I privately agreed with him, but the plan was set. There was no going back now.

Torin’s hand touched my elbow, stopping me in my tracks. He never said how he felt, but the implications of his feelings were like spiderwebs, invisible, snaring me when I walked into them. “Lorcan Dragen has proven himself over and over to be a deceitful, narcissistic…and excuse my language, my Queen…but an asshole.”

A dark laugh burst off my tongue. I couldn’t argue with those descriptions. But there was so much more to Lorcan Dragen. Good and bad. The man’s layers were so secret and complex. He was an enigma I had attempted to solve, but each time I tried, I only discovered another level.

I was sure Torin sensed something had happened between us but wasn’t privy to exactly what. He was better off not knowing. If he knew what actually went on, how Lorcan unlocked something inside me, challenged me, opened me up, and gave me so many orgasms my body couldn’t be held by gravity—yeah, he was better off not knowing. And I was better not remembering.

Keep that door closed, Ken.

“I’m not kidding.” Torin grabbed my arm, spinning me to face him, his expression a mosaic of worry and severity. “I don’t trust him.” He grabbed my other arm, drawing me closer to him, my body responding to his abruptness. My heart climbed up the back of my throat, blocking my oxygen.

“Torin…” It was meant as a warning but came out more a needy whisper.

“I don’t want him near you.” Torin’s fingers clenched down firmer on my skin. “He only ruins everything he touches. He’s dark. A killer. A beast. You are light. Pure.” He moved his hands to my cheeks, cupping my face gently. “You should be respected and revered.”

“I—” My mouth parted to speak, but nothing came out. Words were scrambled in my brain, not forming logical patterns.

“I want you to have this.” Torin dropped his hands from my face, and with one hand he dipped into his pocket, pulling out a necklace. It was on a long silver chain, which was so light and thin it almost disappeared in the air. The pendant was a starburst with a blood-red stone anchored inside. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “I recently had it cleaned. It was my mother’s.”

Holy crap squared. His mother’s? A family heirloom?

“I-I-I can’t.”

“Please, I want you to have it.” He slipped it over my head, the pendant falling between my breasts, just below my bra line.

“Torin, I can’t... this is…” I picked it up, looking at the light above sparkle off it. I lifted the necklace to take it back over my head.

“I know exactly what it is, what it means.” His hand wrapped around mine, pushing my arm back down. “And I want you to wear it. I want you to know what you mean to me. After losing Lea yesterday and you about to leave... I’m not wasting another moment denying what I feel.”

My mouth gaped, not finding words, but a heavy warmth hummed up my neck.

His hands slid back up my jaw, leaning forward. My mind went blank, but my body was telling me it wanted it, needed it. It had been sixteen months, and I was eager for someone’s touch again. Still going through Druid “growing pains,” I was always running hot. But my duty, my role as Queen, dampened the sex drive some. Death, Jared, the memories of every horror in this place also helped curb my appetite.

Right now it was done being restrained. My heart longed for someone to look at me the way he did.

Torin tipped my chin up, his lips brushing mine, waiting for my reaction, before his mouth came down firmer. His kiss was soft, nice, sparking enough heat to open my mouth and kiss back.

Torin was kissing me. Ember’s once betrothed and my First Knight. Why didn’t I see this coming?

His hand drew deeper into my hair, pulling me closer.

“Wow, guess the same old policies still apply around here.” A deep voice collided into my ears, sinking into my gut like a grenade. I jerked back, wrenching from Torin’s hold, the bomb freezing my insides with horror.

Oh. God. No.

Lorcan leaned against the doorframe, arms folded, his face neutral of any emotion.

“First Knights definitely seem to get a benefits package.” His voice dropped, turning a tad icier, his lids narrowing on me. “Or is it the Queen who gets the package?”

“You do not speak to the Queen in that manner.” Torin whirled around, his face flushing with anger.

Lorcan smirked. “Think I’ve spoken to the Queen in a lot dirtier manner.”

Torin’s shoulders rose to his ears, his fists rolled as he stepped in front of me, like a guard dog. “You are vulgar... filth. But what should I expect from a Dragen? You and your brother are cut from the same cloth.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.” Torin stepped toward Lorcan.

Irritation zipped through me, and I stepped around Torin. “Stop.” I jumped in between. I wasn’t about to have a repeat of earlier today. “What do you want, Lorcan?”

Lorcan glared at Torin for a few more beats before his gaze snapped to me. “I want nothing,” he spat, twisting the knife already buried in my heart. “Lars wants us to leave tonight. He will fly over in a few days; his trip doesn’t need to be so secret. But we will go through the doors.”

“Through the doors?” I sputtered. The Otherworld doors were unpredictable since the war. You could get lost in them for years. A lot of human missing cases were because they stepped through one without knowing, never to be heard from again.

Ember was the only one I knew who seemed to understand them enough to get where she needed to. I shouldn’t be surprised my friend’s brain grasped the erratic system of the doors. That seemed to fit Ember’s impulsive, passionate nature.

Lorcan’s brows furrowed deeper, anger cracking his tongue. “You don’t think I’m capable of getting us through?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“No?” He growled.

“No. I mean yes.” I floundered under the intensity of his stare. “Dammit, Lorcan. You know what I mean.”

“Clearly I’m too stupid.” He rolled his shoulders, stepping so close I had to jerk my head back. “You are going to have to talk slower. Use smaller words.”

The numbness coating me earlier fully dissolved, waking the monster from its hibernation. Love. Hate. I felt them both. Kiss. Kill. I wanted to do both. My chest puffed up and down, fire raging up my spine, and I squeezed my hands into balls. He was the only one who invoked such an extreme response from me. And I had to deal with corrupt politicians and nobles on a daily basis.

“Back up.” Torin’s hand flattened against Lorcan’s chest, shoving him back. The fury directed at me jumped to Torin, Lorcan’s nose flaring.

“Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me.” His voice was low and threatening.

Torin’s jaw clenched. “Then I suggest you step away from her. Now.”

I felt Lorcan’s hate consume his body, rush into his arms, and jerk his fist back to punch Torin.

“Stop!” I shoved force behind the word. It wasn’t a spell, but I had learned in the last year how to throw my power behind words. But like everything else with me, it was still a work in progress.

Nothing happened.

Lorcan’s arm continued to go back, his expression locked on Torin. Prey.

Lorcan, stop! The scream built in my mind, never making it to my lips.

Lorcan’s arm halted, his head snapping to me. His eyes widened for a moment before narrowing. Rage still bloomed around him, but he let his arm drop and stepped back.

What the hell? I hadn’t actually spoken out loud, had I? I quickly shoved the thought away, knowing it would simply take me down a road I’d rather not be on.

“Be ready to go in an hour,” he huffed, spun on his heels, and stormed out of the room.

I licked my lips, staring at the ground, hating that every time he left it felt like another tear into my gut.

“See?” Torin’s voice was soft and sympathetic as he stepped in my direct line of Lorcan’s exit. “He is unpredictable and unhinged. I cannot in good conscience leave you alone with him.”

I had a feeling leaving me alone with Lorcan had little to do with his volatile trait.

“It is not your decision, Torin.” I stared directly into his eyes, my chin up. “This is an order. If you don’t think you can fulfill your duty and stay here to protect that innocent girl, then I need to know now.”

Torin jerked like I had slapped him. “Are you serious, my lady?”

I knew I went too far, but I was tired of all the games.

“You know I will do anything for you. I cannot believe you would even question my allegiance.” The hurt bleeding into his voice put guilt on my shoulders.

“I apologize, Torin.” I sighed, pushing at my glasses. “I just need your attention here.”

He stepped closer. My instant reaction was to retreat, but I held my position.

“My lady—”

“Please, your tongue was down my throat. I think you can call me Kennedy. Like you used to.” I laughed, feeling a little punch drunk from the roller coaster ride my emotions had experienced in the last few hours.

His eyes bulged from his head, his mouth dropping. Shock. Even a trace of dismay. “My lady…”

For all the horrors he had gone through, especially at the hands of Aneira, he still was this proper, innocent, old-fashioned gentleman. At least with me.

“You called Ember by her first name.”

“She is not my Queen.” He frowned slightly.

“But she was supposed to be. What would have happened if she was standing here instead?”

“I would call her by her proper title.”

I thought I was a stickler for rules, but Torin lived and died by them. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the kind, even in the bedroom, to address me as “Your Majesty.” The notion shot a giggle out of my nose, my hand covering my mouth.

He tilted his head in confusion, and I waved it off, letting the idea fade away.

“I will do as you request.” He lowered his chin, inching near me. He reached out, taking my hand in his. “But it won’t stop me from checking on you when I can. Nothing can stop me from keeping you safe.”

The subtext was clear: Keep me guarded from Lorcan.

Could he protect me from myself, though?

 

 

The dark latched on to the tree branches, spanning and weaving through the forest like a dreamcatcher. The brisk air clouded from my mouth as I took deep breaths, trying to keep up.

Our getaway from the castle had been simple. While the staff thought I was in bed, Lorcan slipped us through one of the escape passages in the castle, thanks to Grimmel’s help. It was also how my doppelganger would get in. She’d climb into my bed and wake up as the Queen, ready to take on her role.

On Lars’s order, Lorcan told me nothing about her, not even her name. He said it would be better if I was ignorant of the plan. If caught, I could honestly claim I had no part in it.

Lars would help get her situated and make sure everyone was accepting the new safety precautions and her as me. Olivia was one who had to be told of the plan to help pull it off, but I knew Lars would have someone watch her, check into her every move to make sure she was as faithful as I believed she was. Torin, Thara, and Olivia were the only ones who would know.

Castien had healed enough for Ryan to move him back to their house to continue healing, so I didn’t have to worry about Ryan wondering why I didn’t come down the hall to visit. The security would let him know of the enforcement crackdown. He would hate it, but if I called him every so often, hopefully I could keep him from getting suspicious. I wanted to tell him, but for his safety I couldn’t. All had to believe I was at the castle.

My knee slammed into a rotting stump bringing me back to the present. “Owwwww!”

Lorcan didn’t bother with a flashlight; with his predatory nature he could easily see into the night, letting me trip and stumble behind him through the woods.

“Jesus, Kennedy.” He swung around, his green eyes blazing like tractor beams. “We are supposed to be fleeing ‘undetected.’ You’re a tiny thing, so how the hell can you trample louder than an ogre?”

“Sorry, I don’t have bionic night vision.” I rubbed my knee then shoved my hands deeper into my jacket pockets.

“Follow my footsteps. That too hard?”

Breathe. In. Out. Keep calm. I let my eyes close, trying to center myself instead of thinking of a spell I could use to maim him.

He chuckled derisively, causing my lashes to fling open again.

“What?” I demanded.

The side of his mouth curved in that annoyingly smug but hot-bad-boy smile. “Glad to see I haven’t lost it.”

I stared at him. Waiting.

“Pissing you off.” He winked, spinning back around, taking off like a bullet, disappearing into the shadows.

“Dammit, Lorcan!” I crunched down on my teeth, trying to catch up to him as a low chuckle haunted the forest ahead. In a matter of hours in his company I was swearing and fantasizing about murder. He was right; he hadn’t lost his ability to piss me off. It actually was so highly tuned I fought my restraint, ready to snap.

 

 

Lorcan slipped us through so many doors my brain felt like scrambled eggs. I had no idea if he meant to make sure our tracks couldn’t be found, or if he was lost and didn’t want to admit it. Finally, when I was about to sit down and refuse to budge, he tugged me through a final door.

“We’re here,” he declared, his voice low, his attention circling the area, making sure there were no unseen dangers.

I spun around. The late afternoon veneer of snow on the trees gave them a glittery glow. It didn’t appear all that different from the forest we left from.

“And where’s here?”

“Germany. The Black Forest.” He took another deep breath, his shoulders relaxing, showing there was no sign of impending danger. “We’re going to be moving to different locations until Lars updates us with the site of your meeting.”

“You actually meant to get us here?”

Lorcan rubbed his head frantically. A sure sign he was irritated.

“That came out wrong. I meant…I didn’t know you knew how to use the doors. I thought Ember was the only one who seemed to understand them.”

“Tell her I’m vying for her job.” He huffed, walking ahead, soggy leaves padding the muddy earth below his feet.

“I’m impressed.” I caught up to him. “That’s all I meant.”

He glanced over at me, his head shaking with exasperation, a barely-there chuckle rushing out.

“Woman, I swear.” He pinched between his eyes but let the sentence die off. His vexation with me generated familiarity. A sense I could touch him. Tease with him.

No! I folded my arms across my chest. I should be annoyed. Angry. Irritated.

“Where are we headed?” I cleared my throat with agitation, seeing a car through the trees whiz by. We were nearing civilization.

“Freiburg. A village close by.” His boots stopped, mine automatically pausing with him. He spun to me, arms reaching around my head. The brush of his hands over my hair caused me to inhale sharply, air sticking in my throat. His eyes watched me as his fingers towed up my hood. “You need to keep this on and your head down while going through town.” He tugged the fabric over me, pushing me deeper into my shield. “When we are out, I am in charge. There will be no hesitation or question. What I say, you do.”

The rebuff formed on my mouth, my lids tapering.

He slipped his hand over my mouth, his expression stern.

“I’m not kidding, Kennedy. You may be Queen back at home, but here I am in command.” He pressed closer to me, dropping his hand away. His mouth was only an inch from mine, his breath tickling against my skin, igniting a fire underneath. “Get used to me being on top again,” he rumbled into my ear. My lids closed, heat pooling between my thighs.

I tried to swallow, my head dipping in accord. Daft hormones. They would have me agree to anything he said right then.

At his chuckle I eased my lids apart. Lorcan stood back, a smug grin glinting in his eyes. He knew he had me. And I hated my body could so easily betray me. Throw me to the wolves…or the beasts in this case.

“Let’s go, li’l bird.” He winked, self-satisfaction written all over his face.

Hearing the pet name was like being shot. It woke me up to reality. The meaning under the name, the way it pierced my chest, felt like a javelin.

“Don’t. Ever. Call me that again.” My lip went up in a snarl, and I shoved past him, heading for the street. I stomped several yards before I heard him yell.

“Wrong way, li’l bird.”

I whirled around, ready to slam his body back into the earth with a simple spell.

He stood there, self-satisfied beyond words, tipping his head toward a road that cut down another side of the forest. He looked so unbelievably gorgeous, it almost bowled me over. Earlier when I had first seen him, the shock of being in the same room with him again overloaded my senses. But now in the frosty glow of the winter afternoon, every detail was emphasized. Clear. Crisp.

I could see dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and he looked thinner than he had, but that only highlighted the muscles straining along his T-shirt. He looked rugged and dangerous. His scruff was thicker, his dark brown hair on his head a little more grown out, but that mouth, which I recalled tasting every inch of my skin, were perfect.

He wore his usual dark jeans, black T-shirt, jacket, and boots. Somehow he wore it better than a suit. I wouldn’t mind seeing him in a suit, but the way those jeans fit around his butt, and T-shirts…

Kennedy, get a grip!

I shook my head, bowing my neck to the ground. I watched the brown leaves pass underfoot as I walked to him.

Torin had been right…this had been a huge mistake. I should not be left alone with the likes of Lorcan Dragen.

He was bad for me…for my heart.