5 – The Beast kills the Alpha

Jaggar Lockport, locked inside himself, wrestled with his dual nature, trying desperately to have some affect or influence on the beast. The beast did not slow, did not turn, did not acknowledge him in any way. Jaggar dug in his heels, or tried to dig in the beast’s heels, tried to slow or stop him just a little. It didn’t work.

Jaggar listened hard through the beast’s ravaged ears, paying attention to the way the beast’s body felt on the trail, and where the night’s breeze was coming from, trying to determine which way they were heading. Still southeast. Toward home, and that was bad.

They’d been traveling for days through the forest and the farmlands and the small towns, barely sleeping, rarely stopping, unless the beast felt like venting his anger on some trash cans or street lights. Jaggar was surprised they hadn’t been shot yet. It was a good thing he was already kicked out if the KSRT or he would have been in deep shit for this fiasco. The beast did not care about secrecy, did not care about anything, it seemed. Anything except moving, and killing.

The beast had traveled northwest for a day and a half, and then inexplicably turned around, moving faster on the way back.

The beast snorted, snuffed, and growled, looking behind them on the trail. Jaggar leaned forward trying to catch the beast’s intentions. He could, but only in the broadest sense. The beast thought someone was following them. One of the KSRT?

Jaggar spoke in ruhi, a general broadcast to any nearby wolven. Who’s there? Trent? Troy? Canyon? Timber?

Probably Trent and Troy. Definitely not Harlan. No answer came back to him.

Khain?

But the beast would know if it was Khain. The beast had the same unhealthy but necessary obsession about Khain that all the rest of the KSRT did. The beast would know if it was one of Khain’s marked foxen. Would he know if it was Grey? Jaggar didn’t know.

The beast settled. Maybe it was nothing. Jaggar settled also, unable to stop his thoughts from wondering if the beast was heading back to Serenity with murder on his mind. Murder of Harlan, for kissing Jaggar’s mate, Leilani. How dare he? How DARE he? Again, Jaggar’s blood pressure rose and his mind felt in danger of overheating. He was trapped in the beast’s form, which was moving misshapenly down the forest path, and he could not even run off the rage. The beast snarled into the cool night air. The noise of his own snarl hurt the beast’s ears and it winced. The snarl died.

Hurts, doesn’t it, buddy? Jaggar thought at it.

Jaggar knew how to deal with the pain. How to shut it down and ignore it until it was almost like it didn’t exist. He’d had many years to learn, but the beast had never been allowed out of the man before and was dealing with the pain that was their inner war for the first time. Jaggar had never let himself shift into the beast, not even once, not even after the bind on his shift was removed.

Let me out, Jaggar thought at his animal. Let me out and I’ll stop the pain. I’ll dial it down so you won’t feel it. You know I know how to do it. I’ll square you away, I’ll take you straight to church.

Nothing. No response at all, like he wasn’t even there. But Jaggar very much was there. Thoughts of his best friend crept back in. The one male he thought would always be there. Harlan. Harlan had touched Leilani. Harlan had kissed Leilani.

Harlan had known Leilani was fated to Jaggar. It had been clear to everyone, even Jaggar, even though he had refused to touch her. Harlan had known and still he had kissed her when Jaggar’s back was turned. Jaggar shook his head inside the beast, another rush of hot emotions spilling through him. The beast growled and snarled, then picked up his speed.

Beast, Jaggar thought at it, we can’t go back. We’ll kill him. You’ll kill him.

No response.

I don’t want to kill my best- I don’t want to kill Harlan, no matter what he did.

Still no response. The beast did want to kill him. Jaggar was entranced with Leilani, with her smell, her look, her voice, her manner, with how fragile she’d seemed. But, if Jaggar was entranced, the beast was already in love. Jaggar could feel it in every cell in his body.

Jaggar wrenched at him, trying to pull him off the path, trying to turn him around.

We can’t. Go. BACK.

He heaved at the front legs of the beast until the beast limped off the path, then ran head-first into a tree. The knock sobered them both, but only slightly. Jaggar came out swinging, fighting to get him under control.

We aren’t going back, he panted, twisting the forward paw, the one the beast was about to land on, so the leg over it buckled and the beast spilled onto the ground.

Other than this small success, the only other time Jaggar had been able to influence the beast at all was when he’d pulled the beast’s claws out of Harlan’s chest, then forced the beast out the window, and he only did that so Leilani didn’t see him kill Harlan. In the moment, he had been all for the vicious mauling of his former friend.

Come on, let’s talk, Jaggar said, while he kept up his protests, trying to trip or slow his animal. He tried harder, putting all of his mental strength into it, until he was panting. Let’s be friends. We’re practically the same… What could he say? Person? No. He let the thought hang. The beast wasn’t acting like he heard a word, anyway.

Jaggar couldn’t talk to the beast like Harlan could talk to his animal. Harlan even knew his wolf’s name, but Jaggar had never heard a word from the beast. They’d never communicated at all. Jaggar had always felt him in there, prowling around in Jaggar’s inner consciousness, but never pining to be out. The beast had known he didn’t belong in this world and he’d never wanted much to do with it, or with Jaggar.

Jaggar didn’t give up wrestling for control. He wanted a look at the animal he was trapped inside, maybe he could find a weakness. He stuck one paw straight out, wrenching the beast’s eyes open, so he could look at the paw. The beast snatched it back and sliced at the ground with it, but Jaggar had seen it for long enough. Dark short fur. Mean claws caked with mud. Roped muscles too big even for his large size. Jaggar did not quite know what he looked like, but he knew it wasn’t right, whatever it was. As the beast, he felt lumpy and misshapen, overgrown, two halves coming together but not making a whole.

His eyes were closed again. Too late, Jaggar sensed the opening in the ground in front of them.

They tipped into it, tumbling to the bottom, the beast scrambling for a foothold or a claw hold anywhere along the long, steep drop. Into the earth they tumbled, landing in a short, squat cave under the ground.

The beast shook himself and jumped to his feet, whirling to face what was at their back. Danger. Jaggar stopped fighting him.

There were wolves in the cave, wild wolves. Two adults, two pups, their scents strong and hostile. The beast snarled, but only lightly. The vibrations from the snarl seemed to rip and tear at its throat. The beast shook his head, trying to dislodge the constant, ever-present pain that seemed to sink into every muscle and joint.

The cave was dark, only the barest of light coming in from the hole they’d tumbled down, but Jaggar could see at least one wolf. A big male, but a sickly one. He snarled and squared off against the beast, and when he moved, Jaggar could see the wound that festered in his side. He couldn’t believe this male was still alive. He’d been shot with an arrow, days ago probably, and he smelled like advanced infection. Everything about the male spelled death, dying soon, but he advanced on the beast, just the same, in protective mode.

The beast didn’t snarl, but he didn’t back away, either. Beast, leave him be. He’s dying.

Behind the wild wolf, Jaggar could scent, more than see, a female and two just-born pups. The female had been nursing them but now she was up and hiding them, pushing them into a crevice in the wall of the cave. The female had a wound also, but not a fatal one, and her infection had only just set in. She could still be saved. Jaggar’s mind worked. He had no hope of helping any of these wolves, not when he couldn’t control the beast, but still, he had to at least try.

He caught a familiar scent, but he couldn’t think about it because the wild wolf came at them, attacking low, with the very last of its energy.

No! Jaggar cried, but the beast did not hesitate. He let the wolf bite at his belly, while he crunched down on the wolf’s spine, snapping it. The wolf fell to the ground, dead.

Jaggar shook his head and prepared to fight like he’d never fought before. He could only sense the beast’s intentions in very general ways, so he didn’t know if the beast had meant to kill, but he would not sit back and let the beast terrorize the female and her pups.

But the beast did not do so. It gathered itself to leave.