27 – Hi. Hi.

Leilani reached the meadow and ran into it in her bare feet, the soft emerald-green plants cushioning her footfalls. Jaggar in the meadow! Her every sense was heightened and alive with anticipation. She would get to see his face and touch him and talk to him with a clear mind. Would he forgive her for leaving?

She didn’t see him in the meadow. She stopped, got real still, and let her eyes roam over the area, first the open meadow itself, then the bordering forest, then Eventine’s office. She saw no sign of him at all. Only tiny pink animals moved through the flowers, rabbits and maybe chipmunks, she wasn’t sure. Butterflies and bees droned lazily over the top of the plants in the light, but no Jaggar.

Leilani ran to the first forest path to the left of “her” path, the Path of the Catamount. This was the Path of the Wolf. She stared down it, listening hard but hearing nothing. This path was different than the meadow itself, and different than her path. The trees were massive and a normal green and brown color, their branches obscuring any clear view she might have. The path itself twisted at its halfway point, and she could see no farther. She didn’t quite dare to step on the path, even if no one had ever told her not to. That was part of the knowing of being there. She knew she was only safe in the meadow itself and on the Path of the Catamount.

A big cat, as big as the catamount, turned the corner of the path she was staring down, running for her. Her first thought was that she should be afraid, but she wasn’t. She knew who this was. The cat leapt for her, grabbing her around the shoulders, and down they went in a heap into the flowers.

Leilani laughed as she fell, all her fear and shame falling away. The mountain lion-she decided to call it a mountain lion and hoped that was right-the mountain lion pulled at her and licked her face incessantly, much like a puppy would, not knowing its own strength, wrenching her around with enthusiasm.

“Shh, shh,” she told him, patting at his face and chest with her hands. “Calm down, handsome guy, I don’t have any fur to handle all this attention.”

The mountain lion shot to his feet and ran in a graceful little circle, then somersaulted, then shot into the air in pure joy, then caught sight of his own tail and grabbed at it, biting it once, hard.

Tabias, to me. The voice of the catamount sounded all around them. Tabias? Leilani watched the big cat carefully. He stopped his play, then padded over to where she still sat in the flowers. She smiled, feeling happy for the first time since Eventine had first brought her to the meadow. Tabias licked her hair a few times from crown to ends, then nuzzled her under her chin, and then he headed off for the path she’d come from. Leilani watched him go. He had a mark on his left shoulder. Two slim, long arrows, set on a narrow cant from each other, anchored in the middle by a circle. They were rather like watch hands set at 12:05. It made her think of the clock in her mind. 12:00 was home. 12:05? Close enough to home to make her heart hurt.

Leilani got to her feet, hearing more movement on the path. Two wolves were approaching, and she could not tell the difference between them. This time, she was afraid, not of Jaggar’s wolf, but of the guardian. Problem was, she did not know which was which, only that they looked exactly the same, except one was bigger. They were both gray wolves with lighter bellies and lush fur fringes around their heads, their ears perked and moving constantly. They held their heads lower than the line of their backs as they loped toward her, and both seemed to have their eyes narrowed, although she knew that was just how they looked.

The smaller of the two, still a massive animal by anyone’s standards, approached her stoically, while the other peeled off and sat a short distance away, watching them. This was Jaggar’s wolf. He was so beautiful she could cry. There was a lot of that going around. She held her breath. The wolf stretched its neck to her and she bent slightly. It licked her face once, twice, then left her and went to the guardian. The two of them entered another path, and just before they turned down it, she saw Jaggar’s wolf had a black anchor marked in the fur of its shoulder.

“Bye,” Leilani whispered, watching them disappear down the path.

“Hi,” a rough voice said. One syllable with so much emotion in it. Leilani jumped to her feet and ran down the path to meet Jaggar, unable to stop herself. She was safe anywhere as long as she was with him, even on the Path of the Wolf. She slammed into him and he wrapped his arms around her, bending his face to hers. They kissed softly. Her body heated immediately, with a fervor that was unfamiliar to her. How it should be. She pulled back from him and looked up at his face, running her fingers over it. “Your line,” she breathed. “It’s gone.”

He caught her hands and kissed every fingertip. “You can see.”

She smiled. “I can see in the meadow, yes.” Her smile slipped. “I’m sorry for leaving you. That was a horrible thing to do. I regretted it as soon as I got here.”

Jaggar half-smiled and cocked his head to one side. He still looked dangerous, even with the smile on his face, and she was glad for it. She was coming to love his nature.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “I can understand why you did it.” He touched her face. “Your skin shines here, and your eyes are so very beautiful. This place makes you whole. And happy?”

She could only nod, even if that hadn’t been true for the last few days. Right at that moment, happiness burst through her, filling her like a helium balloon with a never-ending stream of bliss. She did belong with the wolven. She did belong with her mate. They would figure it out. He’d jumped off a cliff for her. He’d forgiven her. Someone like that could make it through anything, and that was someone she wanted to spend her life with. Her mate. The word took on new meaning and she captured his face between her hands, kissing him again, harder, with more… urgency. She wanted to start their new life that minute. She was ready.

She ended the kiss and pulled shyly away from him, looking into his eyes. They were a warm dark brown that adored her. He smiled at her and licked his lower lip once, as if trying to catch her taste.

Oh, he made her want him so bad. She pulled at his hand, not trusting herself to stay still with him for one more minute. Besides, she wanted to show him the meadow. “It’s right out here, come.” They walked down the few feet at the end of the path holding hands, Leilani pressing close to her mate. The catamount’s snarl filled the meadow, startling her, making her jump.

“Oh,” Leilani said after a moment, dropping Jaggar’s hand, knowing that was what the catamount didn’t like. “That’s the catamount.”

Jaggar frowned, then gathered up her hand again. The resulting snarl scared her and she pulled away from him. “Please, Jaggar,” she whispered. “If she doesn’t like it, there must be a reason.”

His face smoothed and he nodded once, then faced her simply, staring at her, only her, not even looking around. She smiled at him, her heart sinking that she wouldn’t be able to touch him, to kiss him, in this safest of safe places, but at least they could talk. At least she didn’t have to be scared of time-travel she didn’t want or of a mind that didn’t obey her.

“How do you feel?” she asked him.

“Strangely empty,” he said at once, his face serious. She could see the deep thoughts behind his eyes and wished she could soothe them. He reached out to touch her hair, pushing a bit of it behind her ear, but as soon as he touched her, the snarl came again.

Leilani pulled back from him, eyes wide, scared of what he would do. He looked up and around at the meadow, turning in a circle. “I want to talk to this catamount,” he said. Her heart almost broke at the tone in his voice. She loved him and she loved the catamount too, and did not want to see them at odds with each other.

Her breath caught at the thought and she half-turned, hiding her face from him. Love? She rejected the notion swiftly and mercilessly. Love was for someday in the future, not now. Love had little to do with what was between her and Jaggar. He adored her. She felt the same way about him. But there was no choice involved and she wouldn’t pretend there was. So love was off the table for now. She could not handle love for him or from him so soon. It felt… too big, too scary, too all-encompassing. She wouldn’t believe it if it came so soon.

Could she accept him as her mate without loving him? Accept him on faith alone?

“Lele?” he said, his voice soft, his eyes searching hers, his expression compassionate.

Her heart melted toward him a bit more. She could.

“I’m good,” she said, composing herself and facing him. “I don’t want you to fight with the catamount. She’s been good to me.”

“I won’t fight. I won’t argue. I have a few questions, that’s all.” He was already heading away from her, toward the right path, looking back at her questioningly.

“That’s the one,” Leilani said quietly. He motioned for her to follow and they headed that way, being careful not to touch each other. They entered the path, but before they had gone far, it was clear that Jaggar’s cat and the catamount were deep in conversation, sitting together at the end of the path, their tails twitching alternately, their heads together.

“Never mind,” Jaggar said. “The beast will tell me later.”

“You can talk to him now?”

Jaggar shook his head. “Only a little, but I’m determined to figure it out. It’s time.” He turned on the path, reaching to take her hand, remembering and pulling back only a moment before he touched her. He frowned again. Leilani hated to see it, so she hastened her steps to get in front of him.

They entered the meadow. “This is where Evie was for twenty-nine years?” he said.

“Yes,” Leilani said, happy at the change of subject. “Come see her office.”

She practically skipped that way, happiness settling in on her again. So she couldn’t touch him? She would live. They would talk. There would be plenty of time for… touching later.

She entered the office through the opening where a door would be and smiled at him as he walked inside. His eyes were on her, his face still dark, his expression unreadable. “Harlan has kept it exactly like this,” he said.

The sound of a male laughing from somewhere far off came to them both and Jaggar growled at the sound, getting close to her.

“It’s ok,” Leilani told him. “It’s your friends, Canyon and Timber. They aren’t here in the meadow.” She waved him over to look behind the filing cabinet. “But this door let me go in their office. They couldn’t see me, but I could see them.”

Jaggar stared at the door for a long time. She could see his thoughts spinning, his inner wheels turning, as he weighed all the options that might come from going through that door. He was so much like Eventine in that regard, always weighing and measuring everything, following actions to all possible conclusions. As someone who had rarely had the luxury of a clear and well-functioning mind, she liked that about him so much.

He stepped forward and put his hand on the doorknob, opening it slowly, then he stepped through and looked back at her. She smiled at him and followed him eagerly, watching the clock in her mind as she stepped over the threshold. The hands spun, going from little and big hand pointing down, 6:30, to little hand pointing up, and the big hand pointing down. 12:30.

Canyon and Timber were behind their desks. Trent was on the screen, heading past a trailhead, four wolves following him, two carrying newborn pups in their mouths, the last one with the box of antibiotics in his mouth.

“Uh oh,” Timber said. “Trent’s got another friend.”

A cat showed up on the screen, a black cat, sticking its nose right into the camera, raising one paw. Not a big cat, just an ordinary housecat. It was all black except for a bit of white on its chest and the tip of its tail, plus a tiny splotch of white on its left shoulder, like a renqua. The camera fell eye-down, and all the screen showed was dirt.

Canyon and Timber looked at each other, then Timber burst out laughing. “Wade’s not going to like this.”

Canyon pulled a bowl of cereal out of his drawer. Nope.

Jaggar shook his head, but he was smiling slightly. Leilani hadn’t seen him smile much and she liked it, even if it did look like he didn’t get much practice at it. He drew close to Canyon and first waved a hand in front of the male’s face, then took a swipe at his cereal bowl, but his hand passed through it. Canyon didn’t flinch, but he did cradle his bowl to his chest as he shoveled in a huge spoonful.

Canyon’s voice echoed in Leilani’s head. I miss Jaggar.

Timber threw something small at him. A pen maybe. It clattered off the wall behind him. “He’s got a mate now. Your sorry ass is gonna have to find one soon, so you can get together for pinochle on Friday nights.”

Jaggar moved past them, then motioned to Leilani. She forgot she wasn’t supposed to touch him and moved right up in under his arm, like she fit there perfectly, which she did. Jaggar smiled again, this time at her, and her stomach flipped over. He kissed her on the forehead, then he looked up. “No catamount disapproval,” he said softly.

“Oh,” Leilani breathed. He was right. Which meant she would get what she wanted after all.

To know him. To really know him.

Her mind wouldn’t let her examine the possibilities, but her body was way out ahead, already flushing and blooming and wanting what she’d never had.

He pulled her out of the little office area and toward the break room.