Cait
I spent the next few days on websites searching. I gave Matt his space and, in turn, he didn’t contact me. On the Friday morning, I found what I’d been looking for. A black Alsatian. Bertie. Four years old. I picked up the phone to talk to the animal centre and set off half an hour later.
After an interview and filling in applications at the rescue centre, Sally, the chubby redhead at the desk, asked which dog I was interested in.
‘Bertie, the Alsatian,’ I said.
Sally’s face fell. ‘Oh, but he’s gone. I am so sorry. His details mustn’t have been updated on the website.’
I felt so disappointed and got up to leave.
‘If it’s definitely an Alsatian you’re after, we have had a new fellow come in yesterday,’ said Sally. ‘His owner died and there was no one to take him. He’s not a black one, he’s gold and brown. Would you like to take a look?’
No harm in looking, I thought, though I’d had my heart set on getting one that looked as close to Rex as I could find. I followed Sally through to the kennels at the back of the centre. Some of the dogs barked in greeting as we walked past, others sat at the back of their area on a blanket staring out at us.
Sally stopped at a kennel on the corner. ‘Here he is,’ she said. ‘Come on, Charlie.’
I looked in to glimpse the saddest face I’d ever seen. He was curled up at the back on a blanket and raised his head to see who’d come to look at him, then sank his head back between his paws.
‘How old is he?’ I asked.
‘He’s three, and not taking too well to being in kennels, but then none of them like being locked up.’
She opened the cage and we stepped in. ‘Just go easy with him,’ said Sally. ‘He’s a friendly boy, just a bit puzzled and sad about where he is at the moment.’
I put down my bag and sat on the floor next to him. He looked up at me then slumped down again, so I gave his head a stroke. He reached out a paw up onto my leg and his tail wagged a millimetre.
‘I think he likes you,’ said Sally. ‘I’ll leave you to get to know each other and be back in a while.’
She left me with Charlie and I leant up against the back wall of the kennel and just let Charlie be. After a few moments, he looked up at me and I stroked his head again. ‘You had a rough time lately, Charlie? Me too, but we could be friends, look after each other.’
He continued to regard me with serious brown eyes and nudged a bit closer so that his body was slumped against the length of my legs. I reached down and put my arm around him, and there we stayed until Sally came back.
‘I think he’s the one,’ I said as she came into the kennel.
Her face lit up. ‘That’s fantastic; he’s got a very gentle nature and all any of our dogs want is to be loved. We’d have to come out to your home to check out accessibility and so on.’
‘That’s fine,’ I said. ‘We have a garden, our kids have gone, we’re on a quiet street, and both my husband and I will have time to walk him. He’s away at the moment, but he’s a true animal lover. I know he’ll adore Charlie when he meets him.’
‘Sounds ideal,’ said Sally.
When we got outside the cage, I looked back inside, then suddenly Charlie stood up. I’d left my handbag in there, and Charlie trotted over to it, picked it up in his mouth and brought it to the door.
Sally opened the kennel and took the bag from him. ‘Good boy,’ she said, and Charlie wagged his tail and looked at me imploringly as if to say, hey, where are you going? Get me out of here.
‘I will, Charlie, don’t you worry,’ I said. As I walked away, I heard a small yelp as if to say, come back. ‘I won’t be long. I promise.’
*
A week later, the animal centre had done the checks and Charlie was in the passenger seat in my car. I opened the window and he put his head out, as if to breathe in his freedom. When he turned to look at me, I could have sworn that he was smiling.
I drove straight to Duncan’s flat and, once there, I sent Matt a text from the car. Am at the front door, please come down.
Luckily, he was in, and appeared a few minutes later. I felt overwhelmingly pleased to see him and, despite what had happened, he looked happy to see me too and … there was something else too, a frisson of attraction, the old chemistry we’d had but hadn’t felt for so long.
‘How are you?’ I asked.
He shrugged a shoulder. ‘OK. You?’
‘You look well, trim.’ He did. He’d lost even more weight and it had taken years off him as well as pounds.
‘And you look … what is it?’ He searched my face. ‘Rested.’
I smiled. ‘I’ve managed to get some sleep at last. Some days I haven’t even got out of my dressing gown until past eleven.’
Matt smiled back at me. ‘Good, I’m glad.’
‘I miss you,’ I said. One day I’d tell him about finally grieving for Mum and Eve, how it had felt, the fear of it, the eventual giving in to it, the utter exhaustion of it … but not today.
He nodded. ‘Me too, Cait—’
‘Before you say anything else, I have a confession to make.’
‘Another?’
I nodded and couldn’t help grinning. ‘I have someone else in my life now.’
‘What?’ Matt was about to step back inside and close the door, but I stopped him. ‘He’s in the car. Let me get him.’
‘Oh Cait, no—’ Matt called after me.
‘Back in a minute. It’s not what you think.’
A few moments later, I was back at the door with Charlie at my side.
Matt looked bewildered. ‘Who’s this?’ He looked down at Charlie, who was gazing back up at him. Matt bent over to stroke him and Charlie put up a paw and wagged his tail.
‘This is Charlie. He’s for you. You said you wanted a dog. Don’t worry, I won’t push you, and if you don’t want him, I’ll have him. I’ve already fallen in love with him.’
Matt looked up at the building behind him. ‘But I can’t have a dog in a flat …’ he said, then he smiled slowly as he realized.
‘Exactly,’ I said.