Chapter 19

Lauren

The next two months were amazing. I hadn't slept on the couch once. Being in his arms felt better than anything I'd ever felt before in my life. I felt like I belonged. Before you say anything, I knew it was only temporary. I wasn't fooling myself into thinking any different. There was no lying about it, but it still felt damn good.

I spent my days at the apartment with Jackson while Lance spent his at work. Jackson loved his room and being around Lance. He played while I cleaned. Then we made dinner together. I'd given up any side jobs to work solely on the project. Getting the job would make everything better. Lance said I needed to put all of my spare time into it, and I agreed with him. Dinner was ready each night when Lance walked through the door. He commented a few times on how spoiled he was getting. He'd even said he didn't know how he was going to go back to frozen foods after I hit the big time and left.

We'd let Jackson play or watch television while we worked. Then we'd do something together, the three of us. Lance was helping way more than I ever thought he would with Jackson. I told him constantly that I could do it, but he wasn't having it. There were nights that Jackson asked him to do things instead of me. I tried not to let it hurt my feelings, and it felt good to see Jackson talking and spending time with Lance. I was still very worried about them bonding too much. When it was time to go, I didn't want it to be too hard on my boy.

We'd get Jackson into bed before going back into the office and working some more. I was more excited and passionate about the project than I thought possible. Lance seemed to be right there with me. It was so nice having someone to throw ideas around with, and it was even better being able to do it in person. We both had stuff spread out across the desks. He'd gotten me my own desk too. It was great.

When our work was done, we'd make our way into the bedroom and be all over each other until we finally fell asleep in a tangled mess of limbs. I hadn't been with another man since I'd first been with Lance, so I still wasn't sure it was being with him that made everything so powerful and perfect. Each time was better than the last. I wasn't sure if he felt the same way, but he never seemed to complain. It was so strange seeing so many different sides of him. He was so sweet and loving at times but so passionate and demanding the second the bedroom door closed. There was definitely not a boring moment when it came to being around him.

On the weekends, Lance's mom would call and ask if Jackson could come over for a few hours. She knew how hard we were working, and I was so thankful for that. It was a huge help. Jackson even called to see if he could sleep over a couple of times. Lance's parents were amazing. I don't know what I would have done without any of them.

Lance's mom called a couple of times a week while Lance was at work and she was off. I'd take Jackson over for lunch, or we'd go out to eat. Sammie even came and brought Jillian a few times. She was so round and big. It was adorable. I'd met a couple of the current Pirates one day. Sammie invited us to come hang out and see her working with the kids. I will never forget that first day. There were kids there from all walks of life, kids that normally wouldn't be together. When they were there, baseball was all that mattered. It didn't matter if someone was their friend or not, they put it all aside when they were in her building. It was awesome to see professional players spending their time teaching the kids. I was star struck, but the kids didn't care. To them, they were just regular guys. To me, it was the craziest thing ever. I'd get all tongue tied and Sammie would burst into laughter.

“You're so funny,” she said.

“I can't help it,” I said. “I still can't believe all of you.”

“They're just regular guys,” she said.

“You're crazy,” I said. “You're just saying that because you married one of them.”

“We'd been best friends since we were babies,” she said. “He just happened to make a living playing ball. They all have lives and some have families. Forget that you can watch them on television. They are regular guys.”

Once I put their fame aside, they were just regular guys. We ended up laughing and messing with them. It was pretty great. Jackson loved it. He listened to everything they said. Once he picked up a ball and mitt, I knew I was in trouble. He asked me every day if we could go back. Some days I caved, but others we stayed home and played together. Lance even threw the ball around with us from time to time.

I was sitting in the office working when Lance came in and sat down at his desk. He never even looked at me, he didn't have to. Something was going on. I could see right through him. We'd been working so well together, and everything was in place. We were ready to report back. I thought for a few minutes before I spoke. He had his elbows on his desk and his head in his hands. I felt like he was about to drop a huge bomb on me, but I couldn't figure out why. Was he done with me? Was it time for me to go? Had he been waiting for me to finish before giving me the boot? I could hear him sigh from across the room. What the hell was going on? I played back every moment I could remember. I'd made sure to keep the apartment clean, I'd cooked, and I'd taken care of Jackson as much as he'd let me by myself. I hadn't asked for a single thing from Lance. What had I done wrong? Maybe my mom was right. “Nobody will ever love you now.” Who was I kidding? I knew it wasn't like that with Lance. I knew it wasn't love, not from him anyway. Wait! What? Nothing. I knew I was going to be on my way eventually, I just thought I'd at least have gotten the job first.

“Lauren,” his voice broke through my thoughts.

He was still turned away from me. I hadn't realized tears were slipping down my cheeks. This is it, I thought. Here it comes.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“We need to talk.”

And there it was. It was time to go. I was going to be the one to move first. His ass wasn't kicking me out. I wasn't letting that happen again. It was me and my boy, and I was going to make sure I took my pride with me.