I was outside sitting on the steps of Harry’s apartment. I didn’t smoke, but I never in my life needed a cigarette more than now. After what seemed like hours, Jaime pulled up in his silver SUV, with Erik riding shot gun. Jaime got out first and jogged over to me. I stood, stumbled into his arms, and cried on his shoulder. “He needs help. I didn’t know. I didn’t see.”

“Shhh.” Jaime held me tight, stroking my hair. “We’ll take him. You can go back home.”

“No, I need to go with you. I need to help check him in.”

“Are you sure, Kris?” Erik asked.

I turned around. “Positive.”

After I had kneed Harry, he did the most inexplicable thing. He cried. But not from the pain. From his own demons. “I need help, Kris. I thought I could control it, but I can’t.” After he agreed to go to rehab, I told him to rest on the couch. He was asleep fairly quickly, and again I wondered what had he taken. Hopefully the hospital could give us some answers. I called Jaime because I knew it would be impossible to physically lift Harry and get him into a car. I had packed a small bag of clothes and toiletries for him, and then went outside to wait for the boys.

“Did he hurt you?” Erik asked as we walked up the stairs to his apartment.

“No, of course not.” I shook my head. Yes, Harry was more aggressive than usual, but I refused to believe he would have physically hurt me.

“I told him what you said, Kris. How he kept grabbing and kissing you,” Jaime admitted, eyes cast down as they walked on either side of me. When I had called Jaime, I was running on pure adrenaline and perhaps told him more than I should have. I’m sure by now Brit knew, and that meant she was planning Harry’s public execution.

“It wasn’t like that,” I affirmed.

“You kneed him in the groin,” Jaime said, his voice filled with a concern I wasn’t accustomed to from him.

“I know. It was a mixture of things. He was kissing me and saying things, and I just wanted it to stop. But he wouldn’t have raped me if that’s what you’re both insinuating.”

“How do you know?” Erik asked skeptically.

“I know.” I stopped walking up the stairs and took a breath. “It was nothing like that. I know Harry. But the guy in there asleep on the couch isn’t him. You said you’d help me and not judge. That’s what I need. Help me help my friend.”

Jaime kissed the top of my head. “I’ll help you. But he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I don’t know about that.” I took another deep breath and started walking back up the stairs. “I do know I’m not leaving without my kitten, and Summer will have to learn to live with the little Beast.”

 

 

The next morning, I lay with my head in Brit’s lap while she stroked my hair. I had gone through the whole messy night with her, trying to make sense of how everything had changed. How a friend started to resemble a monster. The whole thing was absurd. Erik wasn’t so quick to drop his suspicion. He even asked if I would consider pressing charges. Press charges? This was Harry. Harry! The sweet guy who held me while I cried, who taught me how to cook, and who was too shy to kiss me without popping a pill.

Those pills. Those stupid pills that had completely flipped his personality. It made me painfully aware of how far I could have gone had I kept up the habit. I lost my job, came too close to failing and almost destroyed my relationship with Brit, not to mention my other friends. All because I wanted to escape reality rather than deal with it. How stupid I had been!

And the worst part was… Harry had warned me. “I am so afraid of unleashing my demons, Kris…” I had all the puzzle pieces right in front of me. I was just too caught up in my own self-pity to see the big picture.

“He called me a whore. Was that how he really felt? Had the drugs just pulled his true thoughts out of his brain?”

Brit stopped playing with my hair, and I knew she was trying to find the right words. “You said so yourself, when you first started with those pills you felt free, and you kept trying to get back to your first high. Harry obviously took too much. No, Kris, that’s not how he felt. It was the drugs, not him.” She paused for a moment. “Do you think David knew about his problem?”

“No, I honestly think David had no clue.” But then it struck me like lightening— bad habits. David wanted me to keep Harry company so he wouldn’t form bad habits. I hated when David smoked, of course he would think I’d tear away pills from Harry. I was the last person he had expected to join in. “Or if he did know,” I added. “I assume it was something that happened in the past and wasn’t a threat now.”

“If David knew how Harry acted last night, he would kill him. Like we’d all have to visit him in prison.” Brit laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “And orange is not David’s color.”

It worried me what David would think if he knew, because I honestly didn't know.

“So he signed himself in?” Brit asked, sounding skeptical.

“Yes. Well, we drove him to the hospital. He was admitted there, and the nurse at the front desk said she would get in touch with the closest rehab facility. I gave her my number so they’ll call with the information.”

Brit nodded, and I knew Harry could spend the rest of his life clean and she’d still never trust him. I decided to offer her an olive branch. “I think I may want to give Dr. Rivers another chance. I sort of had a wall up the first time. Maybe I could remove a few bricks and let her in.”

Brit’s eyes softened. “I think that’s a great idea.” There was a light tap on the door, and Jaime and Erik poked their heads in.

“Morning! How you girls doing?” Erik asked. He was holding a tray with four coffees and a box of donuts. Breakfast of champions.

I sat up and wiped away my tears. “I’m better. Thanks so much again for your help.” Erik placed the donuts on my dresser and waved me off with his hand that was bandaged up. A pang of guilt pulled at my core. Jaime sat on the bed. He was holding Beast, who was squirming to get out of his arms and under the covers. The poor thing was probably so confused and wanted to hide.

“I still have to deal with Summer. She’s going to make a fuss over Beast.” 

“I already spoke to Summer. She knows it’s only until the end of the semester. No big deal,” Jaime said with a smile. Summer was Jaime’s ex-girlfriend so the fact that he had spoken to her for me meant a lot. They usually avoided each other.

I looked around, holding my little Beast and seeing my real friends all around me on my bed. I felt like Dorothy, and I was finally back from Oz—for good.