May was almost gone, and that meant finals and freedom. It was strange being so close to the finish line because it felt like I wasn’t finished. I had started collecting boxes and sorting through my stuff. It was crazy to think that I would be packing for good this time. The sorority house had been my home for so long, and it was daunting to think I’d have to spend my summer looking for an apartment in Manhattan. Since I had been accepted late, all the grad housing was booked. Not that I minded; I was excited to start apartment hunting, I was just worried about what I’d actually be able to afford.
Since Brit was at the concert with Erik, the band had the night off as well. She was their lead singer, and it was pretty much senseless to just have bass and drums without their lead guitar. I had to admit, I was crazy proud of Brit. Not only had she embraced her performance fears, but she was kicking ass in David’s band. Well, I guess it wasn’t David’s anymore. They had kept the name, but without Brit, the guys would have probably just found work elsewhere. She was the glue that held them together. I sort of loved that although the guys were older than Brit by almost a decade, they never spoke down to her and instead treated her as an equal. That’s what David would have wanted.
Look at me, speaking about him like he was dead. I’m so morbid.
Without live music, I needed to improvise. I clicked my phone into the speakers and found a random Pandora channel then counted the cash drawer. I hated working without Erik. The rest of the wait staff was cool, but he made the shifts go faster. Yup, I actually missed him. Ever since that night with Harry, I had a new respect for him and Jaime. I always felt Erik was special, but now I got to see him through Brit’s eyes. And with this new view, I knew graduation was going to be hard for her. She was losing everyone she cared about at the same time. She was a survivor, but I could only imagine how she would be in the fall. I was happy she had Natalie. She would help her, in her own dramatic way.
Friday nights were always crowded, especially after the multiplex let out. Couples would swarm to the Draught and get a cappuccino and make-out in corners of our quirky coffee shop before we closed. I welcomed the crowd; more customers meant I’d be busy and the time would fly. Plus, I needed the tips. The coffee house simply didn’t pay as well as music lessons had.
Still, even with the swarm of customers, the night seemed to drag on without my friends. Funny how you can be in a room full of people yet still feel lonely. The coffee shop had its own hum, the buzz of conversation. The sound of steam from the cappuccino machine. The clink of cup against saucer. It was its own music, which meant the music station we played for our guests easily faded into the background. I was taking an order when I heard it. A song I had never heard before pouring out of the speakers. I momentarily forgot about the Pandora channel and instinctively looked toward the stage to see if David was there. This was his place, that was his stage. It seemed natural to hear his voice in here.
The stage was dark except for a few red lights. Feeling as though I were losing my mind, I jotted down the rest of their order lightning fast, ran over to the speakers, ignoring the other customers that tried to flag me down for their check or a coffee refill. I had to see… I had to know.
Pulling my phone out of the dock, the music instantly disconnected from the speakers, instead playing softly from my phone that now lay in the palm of my hand, which had started to tremble. The song and artist were as plain as day.
Tattooed Kisses. David Archer.
“Hey? What happened to the music?” Frank, my manager asked, popping his head out from the stock room. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. All I could do was stare at the title and artist. Frank came over to me. “Kristen? Put it back on!”
Instead, I turned the phone so he could see. He pulled his glasses that were resting on top of his bald head down to the bridge of his nose. “What am I looking at?”
“Look at the artist,” I somehow managed to say.
“Tattooed Kisses… by… David Archer! Haha! He really did it! Fantastic! And to think, I hired him first!”
I had no response. I hadn’t even heard the words of his song, all I knew was the title. And I knew it had to be about me.
The rest of the night was a slow crawl, and driving home was scary as I was finding it rather difficult to concentrate on the road. As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs, turned on my laptop and went straight to iTunes. I downloaded the song, put headphones on, and took a deep breath. The strumming was familiar. He must have played something similar around me. Maybe he was trying it out, and I was too busy to pay attention. My guilt kicked into hyper-drive. And then, his voice… his beautiful warm velvety voice that I hadn’t heard in months washed over me.
When we parted I asked you not to cry,
You wrapped your scarf around me,
And I breathed in our good-bye
Your eyes dropped in sadness,
As you urged me to walk away.
I leaned in closer, it was David.
Your kiss is tattooed on my heart— on my mind
I see you in my dreams when I close my eyes.
No matter the distance, no matter the miles…
Our souls are forever tied
I heard the familiar strumming, a melody that was so clearly David. It gripped at my heart, holding me perfectly still.
And I can’t breathe if you are angry,
No, I can’t smile if you aren’t near.
You’ve made me all that I am,
but I’m still not the man you deserve,
Oh, how I want to be the man you deserve.
The tears slid down my cheeks as the song returned to the chorus.
Your kiss is tattooed on my heart— on my mind
I see you in my dreams when I close my eyes.
No matter the distance, no matter the miles…
Our souls are forever tied
Oh, against the raging waters, against the roaring storm,
I’d battle hell and fire to have you in my arms.
Tattooed kisses, whispered secrets,
Beneath the blanket of broken dreams
Chasing memories, the future fades—what I’d give to turn back time.
Oh love, how I need you right now.
Your kiss is tattooed on my heart— on my mind
I see you in my dreams when I close my eyes.
No matter the distance, no matter the miles…
Our souls are forever tied
He had to have written it when he was in London. That part was clear. But was it post break up? I wasn’t certain. Part of me wanted to believe that David was trying to send a message out into the universe for me. I checked my watch. It was almost midnight here, which would mean not even dawn there. I couldn’t call him now, could I? It was far too late. Then I realized I still didn’t know his number. I couldn’t call him now because I couldn’t call him ever.