The last guest had finally left, but David still hadn’t come over to me. He was trapped now with his old drummer, Mark. David kept looking at me, his eyes saying a thousand words across the room. I just smiled. I had waited five months. I could wait a few more minutes.

It was quiet in the Draught, that part of the work night I enjoyed. Closing procedures had its own rhythm, and it was a dance Erik and I had mastered. I was tired from all the customers but had a reason to work quickly, cleaning and setting up for tomorrow. Most of the lights were out so there was just the glow of the remaining overhead and a few strands of red Christmas lights that hung around the windows. I was facing the counter, counting my tips, when someone stepped behind me, placing two warm hands on either side of my waist. I momentarily closed my eyes and leaned back into David’s familiar touch.

“Looks like someone made some good money tonight,” he said casually, his breath tickling my ear. He was killing me. If he was trying to seduce me, it was working.

“Yes, you need to sing here more often. The crowd paid more attention to you than their wallets.”

“I think it was the sexy waitress in the black mini skirt, not the old man on stage.”

I shook my head and tugged on the hem of my skirt. David leaned over my shoulder, kissed my cheek, and then swept his lips over to my ear. “Will you come home with me tonight, love?”

I reached up, wrapping my hand around his neck.

I didn’t answer. He knew I would.

 

 

My arms were wound tightly around David, my body pressed up against him, the smell of his leather jacket intoxicating as he drove his motorcycle through the streets until we were at his apartment.

David unlocked the door and turned on the lights. The apartment looked as it always had, nothing more. I almost expected it to cast me out. But there were no ghosts, just walls.

The realization he most likely had visited Harry this afternoon hit me. I could only imagine what they had spoken about. It was then I realized, David still hadn’t kissed me. Really kissed me, and that made my stomach flutter with nerves.

“Hey, can we talk?” I asked.

“Of course.” He offered me a seat on the couch, but all I could see was me high as a kite tossing popcorn into Harry’s mouth. I glanced at the kitchen and saw us cooking lamb chops. This apartment did have ghosts. I was wrong.

“Can we go in your room?”

David nodded slowly, and that’s when I knew he knew. He hadn’t questioned why, just turned around and walked down the hallway to his bedroom. “Hold on a sec.” I reached for my phone. I couldn’t forget about the cat. Talk about disaster.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting Brit and seeing if she can feed Beast. Have you forgotten that we have a child? You were the one that wanted him after all.”

“You’re right. I forgot about the fur ball.” He winked. “You’re a brilliant, mum.”

Brit wrote back and assured me Beast was okay, and I knew I was free from all responsibility. I placed the phone on the night stand and sat on David’s bed. Looking around, I could see he was still pretty much living out of a suitcase. Nothing was unpacked, just tossed about. It made me wonder if his return was only temporary. That made me anxious, and I had an urge to start cleaning. But I refrained.

David sat beside me, and I was so torn. I wanted to just bleach out the past five months, wash away the red from my ledger. But like he said last night, I couldn’t go back, only forward.

“Did you see Harry today?”

“I did.” I felt him stiffen beside me.

“I don’t know what he told you, but—”

“I think you should press charges,” David said without emotion.

“Press charges?”

“I know you were able to stop the situation before it escalated, but he was ready to take it further. Look, the only reason I’m not in jail tonight for beating him to a bloody pulp is because I was escorted out of the facility by security.” My eyes widened in shock. “When he told me what almost happened—”

“He was high. He doesn’t even know what happened. He remembers bits and pieces and assumes the worst. I remember it clear as day.”

“All the more reason why you should press charges.”

“Did he tell you how before that night, I got high with him, too?”

“He told me he offered you some pills when you were— distraught.” David’s mouth twitched. He clearly wasn’t placing any blame on me, only his cousin.

“Yes, well, I took them.”

“It happened once.” David shrugged.

“It happened more than once.”

“How often?”

I had to think about it. “Four times— six if you count the sleeping pills.”

David only nodded. I could tell he was trying so hard to remain calm. “He told me you visited him, why?”

“Because he doesn’t remember the night correctly,” I repeated. “From what you’re telling me, he thinks he practically assaulted me. But it was nothing like that, I swear. He was a mess, David. His thoughts were consumed more with the pills than with me.” David’s brows remained crinkled. He didn’t understand. “When he wasn’t high, he was the one that took care of me when I fell to shit. He made sure I ate, he let me crash here, he was the shoulder I cried on. The real Harry, not that guy who was under the influence. Harry Archer.”

David was quiet, and I was afraid to look at him.

“Plus, after I heard the song, I had to talk to you. You had changed your number. I had no way of reaching you, and I figured Harry might have it, so I went to see him.”

“Bloody Garret.” David shook his head. “I didn’t even know my number was changed until about a month later.”

“Garret changed it?”

“Yeah, people were coming out of the wood work when I got the deal. People who didn’t give a crap about me before. Calling like crazy. I guess they wanted money. Who knows.”

My heart sank. “I tried calling you… I thought you changed it to get rid of me for good.”

David’s eyes widened as he realized what that must have been like for me.

“Bloody hell, Kris! I’m so sorry! I honestly had no idea, and by the time I did know, we were broken up for months. I didn’t really think you wanted me anymore.”

“I wanted you every single day. Even right now, sitting next to you…” I couldn’t find the words. It was too much, and I was so scared of saying the wrong thing. I couldn’t have him disappear again. “I just need to know we can move forward from this.”

“I already told you we could.”

“Saying it and meaning it are two different things. Do you forgive me?” I asked again, even though he told me last night there was nothing to forgive.

He shook his head. “Forgive you? I didn’t handle things the way I should have. I kept too much from you in the beginning, I asked Brit to lie to you, and I got used to keeping you in the dark. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Danny. I thought the less you knew the less you’d have to worry about. That theory pretty much bit me in the arse.”

“What I don’t understand is why didn’t you want me to know about any of this initially? The sessions with Brit, the recording, the song. It was all good news. It’s like you got so used to keeping things from me it became normal behavior while you were overseas.”

“I was so scared of being a failure in your eyes. I wanted to really make it before I revealed everything. I want to give you the world, Kris. I’m twenty-eight years old. I can’t sing in a coffee shop forever. You’re graduating from college and going to Juilliard. You’re making your dreams come true. I didn’t even go to college. I needed to prove I wasn’t a failure. I needed to prove that I was worthy of you.”

“Worthy? David, if all you ever did for the rest of your life was sing in a coffee shop, I’d still be with you. As long as you did it with integrity and passion. You’re my very heart, and for the past five months, my heart stopped beating, and I had to survive without it. I never want to feel that again. Do you know how impossible it is to live when you feel dead?” The tears were slipping down my cheek.

He dropped his head into his hands. “I never felt like I was enough for you.”

“You’re more than enough.”

He looked up at me. “I love you so much.”

I was a crying mess, and all I could think about was one thing. “Then why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

David looked at me, his eyes desperate to make me understand. “Because I knew I could only kiss you if it was real, if the heartache was finally over. I can’t go through this pain again.” That’s when it finally hit me. He had been hurting just as bad as I had. “I knew if I kissed you, I wouldn’t be able to stop.” He was shaking, I could see that now. He drew his gaze up, and his hazel eyes locked on mine.

“Then don’t stop,” I practically begged.

David looked relieved, swept his hands to the sides of my face, leaned in, and pressed his lips to mine. He was trembling, we both were, as we touched each other blindly. It was as though we were afraid we wouldn’t feel the same, or perhaps the time apart had thrown us out of sync. David pulled back, his lips just about to leave mine, no more than a breath between us when he returned, this time crushing his lips against my own, feeling them, drinking them like fine wine, savoring every drop. My heart burst into bloom as he kissed me, my body alive once more, reacting to his. The heat rising between us melted away the hurt and heartache. We had raged against the storm, the battle scars fading from view as we emerged on the other side stronger than before. My hands reached up to cradle the back of his head and draw him closer. His lips claimed mine, body and soul. We were making silent vows with that kiss, vows we would never break. And with those unspoken vows, we fell in love all over again.

Slowly, like emerging from the most blissful dream, we broke apart, a knowing glance exchanged between us with a smile of wonder. I turned my head, matching my lips to the kiss mark tattooed on his skin as David released the sweetest sigh of contentment. He took me in his strong arms, holding me close.

He was home. We both were.