Time of Year
“Riley, can I speak to you?”
I recognise the voice instantly.
“No,” I retort, slamming my locker shut and walking away quickly in the hope that he won’t follow. To my displeasure but not surprise, he does. He sticks to me like glue as I wind my way through the corridors towards the library. It’s Monday, I have a free period and I really hope he doesn’t have one too.
“Come on, Riley, give me two minutes?” Toby pleads from behind me.
“No. Believe it or not I was having an okay day until you showed up,” I peer back over my shoulder to hiss at the boy who broke my heart. In actual fact, since Saturday I have done nothing but work and stress over my social situation. Alec has been suspiciously absent from his bedroom, although admittedly I was somewhat grateful about that. Everything is confusing right now, and his gorgeous face and mischievous nature do absolutely nothing to alleviate that. I don’t know if he’s even interested at all. I don’t know if that means I should give Dylan a chance.
“Riley,” Toby repeats desperately.
“If you have any kind of respect for me at all, you’ll leave now.” Shaking my head to dispense my worries, I increase my pace.
“Jeez, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” Toby says, grabbing my arm to prevent me from storming away from him again. Where I used to get happy tingles, my skin feels cold and if anything repulsed by his contact. I tear my arm away from him quickly, and I don’t miss the hurt that flashes in his eyes. Like he has any right to be hurt. Toby sighs in resignation and doesn’t reach out again. “I just want to talk to you.”
“Talk, and make it quick,” I say icily. “I’m not wasting any more time on you than absolutely necessary.”
I don’t know why I’m even giving him a chance to talk, after what he’s done to me.
“Well . . .” Toby clears his throat and glances around the corridor at the dwindling students. He’s checking people aren’t in earshot – but why? His mannerisms are shifty, sheepish. “Well I know what time of year it is . . . I just wanted to, um, offer my condolences I guess.” His eyes flicker to me for the first time since he started talking, to judge my reaction.
I freeze, melt and boil all in the space of a second.
“Your condolences?”
“For your family,” Toby says. “I know this must be difficult for you.”
“You sicken me.” I step back, and my face is a mask of disgust to shield the throbbing I feel inside. His words are rubbing salt in a wound. Salt. Alcohol. Bleach. He’s rubbing bleach into my open chest. “Do you honestly think I want your condolences, after what you put me and Kaitlin through? I cannot believe you’ve just said that. Like she wasn’t anything to you at all. Like she wasn’t your best friend, as well as my cousin. You know how much you meant to her.” Tears bead in the corner of my eyes.
Toby curses and tugs his hair in angst. “I know how –”
“You don’t know anything,” I interrupt with a broken voice. “Thank you for your condolences, Toby, but I don’t want them. This time of year is hard enough for me already without you pretending to care about her.”
“Hey,” Toby snaps, “I cared about her!”
He draws a few passing eyes with his volume.
“Cared. Past tense,” I hiss quietly. “Just leave me alone, Toby. I am a spark you really don’t want to fan into a flame.”
Toby watches, stone faced, as I turn and storm away, and for once I am grateful to him. Grateful that he has the sense not to follow me this time.
“You look lonely,” Joe’s voice says from behind me.
I glance up from my half-eaten sandwich to see Joe, Chase, Dylan and Alec standing nearby with their lunch trays. My chest twists with anxiety as I remember my situation. Chase is observing me with amusement. I’m sitting alone at a table, on the edge of the busy cafeteria. I must look incredibly lonely, but Violet hasn’t come out of her lesson yet for some reason, so there’s not much I can do until she comes. Until now, I’ve been pretending to text under the façade that I actually have friends. I smile at the sight of the boys, but my gaze lingers on Alec and Dylan.
“I am a bit lonely, to be perfectly honest.” I smile weakly.
“Guess we’re sitting here today,” Chase announces, sliding into the seat next to mine. “I’m sure the football team won’t mind too much.”
The other boys sit down without question, and I feel oddly flattered to have them sit with me, despite the shocked looks I’m getting from surrounding students. Alec sits down next to me without speaking, and my breathing flutters. Oddly, we haven’t spoken to each other since the other day, and I have no idea how to act around him. What do I say?
As for Dylan, I have no idea how to act around him either. Awkward.
“So where’s Violet?” Joe asks with his mouth full, holding a greasy burger with two hands. How he can afford to eat the way he does and maintain his chiselled body is a mystery to me. Whatever it is, I want it.
“Right here,” Violet interrupts and we all suddenly notice her standing by the table with her eyebrows raised. “Riley,” she says, turning to me with a feigned nervous expression, “I think our table has been invaded by populars.”
“Heaven forbid!” I play along, putting a hand to my forehead and pretending to faint.
“You two are weird,” Chase states bluntly, observing us like creatures under a microscope as he looks up from his milkshake. “But funny.”
“Thanks, I guess.” Violet laughs, taking a seat beside Joe.
All of the other boys greet Violet except Alec, who merely prods at his food with his fork. Luckily, Violet doesn’t seem to notice.
“Hey.” I suck in my nerves and lean closer to him. “Are you okay?”
Alec grunts a little. “Yeah I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.” My eyes narrow. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying.”
“I said nothing,” Alec snaps, suddenly shifting his weight away from me.
“Hey, don’t snap at me!” I retort, eyes narrowing. “You and I both know I’ve done nothing wrong. What’s got you like this?”
Alec gives me a look of disgust. “Nothing. I said drop it.”
“Fine, I will.”
There’s awkward silence for a few minutes between us – foreign territory in our friendship. If the others picked up on it, they draw no attention and carry on in their blissfully happy world of bonding. Violet is chatting away contentedly. She seems to be fitting in really well. It’s nice that she feels welcome, although it would be even nicer if Alec could be bothered to chip in and greet her. He needs to pull that stick out from his ass and stop manstruating.
“Look.” He clears his throat and sits up a little but his voice is low. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to talk about it. I’m not really in the mood to fight.”
“And you think I am?”
“No,” Alec chooses his words. “I just . . . I’m a little frustrated.”
“Are you going to tell me why?”
Alec looks at me for a long second. “What’s going on between you and Dylan?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, startled by the blunt question. How does he know? Unless, when I saw him storming at the beach it was because . . . “Wait – you saw, didn’t you? You saw what happened at the beach?” I say with trepidation.
“I saw,” Alec confirms. I note that he doesn’t exactly sound overjoyed, which stirs up the butterflies in my stomach.
“I don’t think anything will happen,” I tell Alec quietly. I like you.
“Really?” Alec sounds disbelieving. “You seemed pretty happy with his tongue down your throat.” He’s jealous. My heart surges with hope, but it’s quickly extinguished by the reality of my situation. Even if he is jealous, it shouldn’t matter. I don’t know if I’m even ready for a relationship; I said no to Dylan for precisely that reason. There’s also the rather substantial factor that Alec may not be ready, and may not want one.
“I don’t like him,” I say softly, hedging my chances. “He knows that.”
Why can’t you just make a move if you’re interested? Tell me if you are!
I prod his arm, and when he looks up he seems less moody. His face is a few inches from mine, and from here I can see every detail about his face from the gold specks in his eyes to the faint freckles dotting his forehead. My toes curl.
Riley, you have it so bad for him.
“Riley, there’s this thing,” Alec begins vaguely.
“A thing?”
“Yes, a thing,” Alec says. “My mom’s engagement party tomorrow night.”
“I am aware of that event.”
“Well . . . because both our families are going, and my mom wants me to take a date . . . she told me to ask you. So, um, do you want to be my non-official date to this party?”
Don’t scream yes. Say it calmly. He’s not asking you out; he’s just being forced into going to an event with you. One which you were going to anyway. Be chill.
“That sounds calm! I mean, um, good. Yeah, good.”
Alec gives me a strange look, but he’s smiling. “Cool.”
Feeling eyes on my back, I go rigid before turning round to survey the scene. Toby walks past us a few metres behind, and his eyes are locked onto mine. Not this again.
Alec grumbles beside me, so I’m guessing he’s seen too, and then he slowly intertwines his fingers with my own. I can’t help but notice that, again, it is only for the sole purpose of keeping another guy away. Toby’s eyes narrow. Another dominance fight. I turn back to face the table, glad to see that Violet and the boys are too busy debating werewolves versus vampires to notice the focus of mine and Alec’s attention. After a second, Alec turns back to face the front as well, although his demeanour has definitely changed. His hand slides slowly from my own, and I miss the warm buzz of comfort that it brought.
“Are you kidding me? Werewolves are so much better!” Violet argues. “I mean take Edward Cullen as an example. He sparkles. That’s hardly big bad vampire material is it? That dude has ruined the reputation of vampires. Werewolves are so much hotter, plus the whole full moon thing just makes them so much cooler too.”
I agree. I mean, have these guys not seen the Teen Wolf actors? Drool.
“What about Dracula?” Dylan retorts, shaking his head. “Dracula is a legend, one of the classics. You don’t see any classic werewolf stories, do you? Vampires have been around so much longer.”
“Exactly!” Chase says. “Vampires are old, man. Werewolves are fresh.” He slaps the table to emphasise his point, as though he’s just ended the debate, which makes me laugh. I glance at Violet, feeling a small buzz of happiness in my chest. We’re sitting with people at lunch, and it’s fun. It feels like I haven’t had anything like this in so long.
“Excuse me.” A voice interrupts our debate, and I look to the side to see a pretty brunette girl standing there, hand on her hip and flanked by a petite blonde. She wears a slightly too short dress, and her eyes are bright. Not one of Tiana’s minions, I don’t think. “Hi.” She smiles at Alec, fluttering her eyelashes. “I just wanted to give you my number, because you seem like a really nice guy.”
What? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. No way does she want to give Alec her number because he seems like a nice guy.
She pauses to flick her hair behind her shoulder, leaning in towards him seductively. “I’m free tonight if you want to come round?” she murmurs quietly.
I snort quietly to restrain my sarcastic remark. I’m sorry, but just how obvious can you get? We all know what she said, judging by Joe’s eye roll and Chase’s impressed stare. Alec must get this a lot. Still, my laugh has a tone of bitterness to it and I wonder if anyone notices.
“Er, no thanks,” Alec coughs, blushing a little, and I think we all turn to stop and stare. Alec Wilde is rejecting a girl?
“Your loss.” The girl leans back, her flirty aura turning cold and hostile as she flounces away with the blonde girl in tow.
Meanwhile, I’m still choking on my saliva from what Alec said. He’s probably already seeing someone tonight – that’s got to be it, right?
“I’m sorry but did I just hear that right?” Joe questions him, mouth agape. “You’re denying a hook-up?”
Well at least I know I wasn’t imagining things now, and that Alec actually did just totally reject a hot girl.
“Dude.” Chase coughs out a laugh, leaning over the table to slap Alec on the forearm. “When was the last time you got laid?”
Do I really want to know this? I share a look with Violet, wrinkling my nose.
“Alec’s not getting any,” Joe sings, laughing, and I chuckle quietly along with him.
“Shut up,” Alec mutters, blushing the tiniest bit. “I got laid last night for your information.”
Lie. Last night Alec was at home studying. I saw him through the window.
“Well I don’t know about you guys,” Dylan says with a smirk, “but I don’t believe him.”
And I definitely don’t.
“Hey, Riley.”
“What?” I look across the window at Alec, frowning. He’s lying on his side on his window seat, wriggling his eyebrows at me mischievously. In all honesty, he looks like a complete and utter weirdo, but it’s quite endearing at least. Not every guy would do this.
“You know what I’ve been thinking?”
“Enlighten me.”
“You and I are like butt cheeks,” Alec drawls. “Although there’s crap between us, we always stick together.”
“Oh my God.” I face palm, placing my pen back down on my desk. These keep getting better and better. I’m supposed to be studying, sitting here in my sweats with my hair pinned into a pile on top of my head, but Alec is a huge, gorgeous distraction. I can’t say I’m complaining.
“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
“Shut up, Alec.” I laugh. “Give me my bra back and then we can talk.”
“Do you work in Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.”
“I really hope you mean a sandwich. Seriously, where do you come up with these lines? Do I need to check your search history?” My voice is weary, but I can’t deny that I love the little conversations Alec and I have over our windows, even if they do revolve around some quite dirty pickup lines. They make me laugh, at least.
“Tumblr,” Alec admits sheepishly. Then, unwilling to give up on his fun and games, he continues with another stupid and clichéd line. “Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican me horny.”
“Nope.” I shake my head with a confident smile playing on my lips. “But you must be from Yukon, because Yukon go screw yourself.”
He’s not the only Tumblr fan.
“Ouch!” Alec clutches his heart dramatically. “You wound me.”
I smile, and Alec goes back to his studying like I go back to mine. My head doesn’t seem to want to shut up, though. Thoughts of Alec, memories of today, overanalysing every possible detail to the extreme. I thought it was weird when he denied that hook-up, and yet he shows up at my window playing bad pickup lines like an old guitar.
I think that’s a good sign.
I can’t be with Dylan. I just can’t.