~ Nick
It’s after noon by the time I finally wake up. The apartment is quiet; the only noise that of the street as it filters its way up to the open window of the bedroom. I can feel the sun slanting through, warming the room, but keep my eyes closed, my thoughts lingering on the first time I woke up today.
I smile, remembering the bullshit fight she tried to put up after the alarm had gone off. Then the warmth of her skin against mine, the way her body gave into me, almost as though we were both fighting her brain and convincing her to stay.
I knew she would though, just like I knew she often set her alarm earlier now to allow for things like this morning. To make time in our crazy schedules for us.
I roll over, feel the coolness of the sheets beside me, even as the smell of her still lingers. I wish she were still here, my body already betraying me even though I know she’s long gone.
Groaning, I force my eyes open, smile at the now long cold coffee she’s left on the side table for me. She’d probably still drink it, caring more about the caffeine hit than any taste or enjoyment she gets when she has to get up early.
I drag myself from bed, smiling at Oscar, who has made himself at home in a box of Emma’s clothes that she still hasn’t managed to unpack. Probably won’t now that he’s occupying it.
I walk into the kitchen to make some fresh coffee before taking it with me and jumping in the shower. Today I shave off the last few days worth of stubble before picking up the clothes that litter the floor of our bathroom. It makes me smile, knowing how much she fights the messy side she has. She’d been worried it would drive me crazy when she moved in here when all I’d been worried about was that she’d say no when I suggested it.
For weeks she’d been trying to give me back the spare key she’d had ever since I’d lost my shit and walked out on her. I’d gotten sick of her offering it back to me and me telling her to keep it. In the end I’d said, “Emma, I don’t ever want the key back. I want you to keep it and I want it to be your only key.”
It had taken her a second to get what I was telling her and even though she’d been worried it was too soon or that I needed time alone to get over everything or that her work hours or messiness would drive me crazy, I’d managed to convince her that none of that mattered to me.
That the only thing that mattered was her.
By the time I finally arrive, I can already see the vintage cars pulling into the drive. I hustle it across the lawn to where everything is set up, sliding into a chair at the back. I know a couple of people here, but I’ll catch up with them later. For now, I just want to wait and see her.
The music starts just as the doors of the bridal party car open. They’re too far away to see clearly, but I spot her as soon as her long pale leg is out of the car.
Memories of this morning flash through my mind. Those legs wrapped around my waist, her body moulding itself beneath mine as though all of her muscles and bones were moving to accommodate me.
“More,” she’d whispered, the word sounding more like a moan as I’d moved above her.
I’d smiled; almost tempted to stop, tease her a little about the fact she supposedly needed to go. But I didn’t. Couldn’t, more like it, groaning as I’d given her everything she’d asked me for.
I watch as they approach, my eyes never leaving her. She slides an arm through the elbow Owen offers, laughing as he kisses her cheek and whispers something only for her. Everybody stands as they walk towards us and I can see her eyes scanning the crowd now, searching.
When she finally spots me, I grin. I’m not sure what she was expecting, but I’m guessing from the look on her face, it wasn’t this. I wink, just as Owen elbows her in the ribs, both of us laughing because she’s now frozen to the spot and holding up the whole bridal party.
Emma blushes a little, turning away as she and Owen walk down the aisle, leading the way for the other bridesmaids and then Sarah.
I don’t really pay attention to the service, only her. She fidgets a lot, eyes the crowd nervously, and I can tell she hates the fact that everyone is looking at her. It’s strange, given she spends her days saving people’s lives; just how much she hates the attention in hers.
Emma and Sarah hug as she hands over the rings and I smile at the genuine emotion between them. I like Sarah, I have from the start and I really like the fact that her and Emma’s friendship has survived all of this.
I’m glad they sorted things out after everything that happened the night they both walked into my bar. Glad it wasn’t ruined with everything that came after either.
The bridal party goes for photos after the service and the rest of us make our way to the marquee that’s been set up on the edge of the lawn. It looks spectacular, a small wooden jetty nearby that leads out onto the river, strung with fairy lights and lanterns. The dusk sky is all shades of red and yellow now, as the sun slowly sets.
I grab a beer from one of the waiters and head down to the jetty, not quite ready to join the rest of the party just yet.
“Hey, there you are,” she says, arms sliding around my waist. “You okay?”
I turn, sliding an arm around her shoulders. “I am.”
She smiles, gives me a once over. “Nice suit,” she says, her fingers smoothing down my tie.
“You like?”
She nods. “I do. But just so you know, I like your bar clothes too.”
I grin as I stare down at her, waiting for her to look up at me. “You look beautiful,” I say, when she finally does.
Later, we’re on the dance floor, our bodies pressed together as we sway to the melody of an old song. My jacket is off and Emma’s arms are wrapped around my waist, her fingers digging into my back as though she’s trying to pull me closer. I press a kiss to the skin of her shoulder, inhale a deep breath against her neck before pulling back to meet her eyes.
“You ever think about getting married?” I ask.
She freezes in my arms and I can’t help but chuckle, urging her to keep dancing as I say, “Stay with me, Em.”
But she doesn’t, instead staring up at me with a look of confusion and maybe a little fear on her face as she tries to work out exactly what I’m asking. It’s not a proposal. Not yet anyway. I think she knows that.
“Well?” I prompt, squeezing her hip.
She swallows hard. “Do you?”
I stare down at her, wondering just how much I should admit out loud. It’s funny, but back when this whole thing started between the two of us, it was me who told her to stop worrying about the future. To just be an us in the now and not worry about what was to come.
Then everything went to shit and for a while there, I wasn’t even sure there could be an us. But somehow, despite everything, she never stopped being there for me and while neither of us is fully healed just yet, we are both getting there.
I know Emma is happier now. She’s far less hung up on work and all the shitty things she has to see on a daily basis. I know it still lingers, that it probably always will, but these days at least, she comes home on time and she talks to me. And together, we both find a way for her to leave work behind where it belongs.
And even though I always thought that night nearly two years ago wasn’t something I needed to process, I am finally starting to accept that I do need to face things in order to deal with it all. Adrian’s working on getting me to accept and talk about what happened so the pain of it lessens, while Emma’s working on getting me to forgive myself for it all. I’m still not entirely convinced about that part, but there’s a part of me that’s starting to believe her. To believe it can happen.
Either way, together, we are finding a way to move forward. Together.
As I watch her watching me now though, her face slowly relaxing even as her eyes continue to search mine, I realise that despite my earlier advice, it’s now me who’s thinking about the future.
Especially the future us.
“Nick?” she whispers.
I grin now, say nothing as I remember the words of my sister and how well she knew me after all. Then I lean down and press my mouth against hers.
Yep.