~ Nick
I know exactly what she’s doing.
I know exactly what she’s doing and I also know it’s a mistake.
But fuck me; I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want this.
I absolutely do. I think I’ve wanted it for most of the night, even when I didn’t realise I did. A year ago I wouldn’t have even hesitated about making a move on her, and tonight, despite my better judgment, despite all the promises I made to myself, I still want it to happen.
But not like this.
Not when she’s so clearly trying to Band-Aid over whatever shit is going on inside her head with what I’m assuming she thinks will be some random hook-up in a bar.
I should stop things. Really.
“Emma,” I groan in a way that sounds totally unconvincing.
She says nothing, just moans as her hands slide up and over my t-shirt.
And as hot and as sexy as this all is, the only thing I can think right now is that I really need a shower. I must stink. But she doesn’t seem to care, her fingers digging into me as she pulls me, no holds me, against her. I can feel the desperation, the urgency and insistence in how she hangs on to me.
And as much as I know I should stop it, I don’t. Can’t.
Instead, I continue to kiss her, my mouth pressed hard against hers as my body falls against her. I feel her move beneath me, everything shifting to accommodate my shape.
We somehow fit together so perfectly it almost scares me, and I can’t help but wonder if she feels it too. If she can possibly feel how randomly connected we are, how different this is to any other woman before tonight. To that other night.
I want to stop and ask her, but I can’t. Not when her tongue is in my mouth and my hands are roaming all over her body.
The black dress she wears hugs her curves, the thick fabric molding against her tiny frame. My hand slides against her leg, my little finger just grazing the skin beneath her hem. She moans into my mouth, sending my heart into a free fall inside my chest and my hand on a slow path upwards.
My fingers graze the material covering her thigh, slowly moving higher until I feel the jut of a hipbone. My thumb presses against it, pausing for a second before continuing upwards, over the curve of her waist, the bumps of her ribcage and finally the softness of her breast.
The noise she makes nearly undoes me, pushing the voice in my head that’s telling me to stop to a place where I can no longer hear it.
“Nick,” she whispers, as her teeth nibble at my lip, her hands now buried in my hair, pulling it free.
I force myself to pull back a little, lift my body off hers so I can look at her. Emma’s face is flushed, her chest rising and falling heavily as she draws deep breaths into her lungs.
When her eyes meet mine, she smiles at me and it’s so different to every other time she’s done it tonight, almost as though it’s new and rare and just for me.
I dip my head and kiss her quickly, knowing my resolve to stop this is rapidly disappearing. Apparently my so-called rule about not getting involved with customers anymore has flown right out the fucking window too.
I go to lift my head again, but she stops me, her fingers tightening as she holds me against her mouth. I grin against it, knowing I am completely fucked right now and I have no chance of stopping whatever is about to happen between us. And zero care factor about it either.
Her hands slide down my back again until they reach my jeans and then slide under my t-shirt and up my body. The touch of her fingers against my skin drives me crazy and when she pushes my top up, only pulling away long enough to whisper, “Off,” I’m positive there’s no turning back now.
I smile as I lift up just enough that she can pull it off me. Her eyes stay on mine as she throws my top across the room, neither of us caring where it lands. Her hands go to my chest, her eyes still on mine as her fingers graze against my skin, tracing lazy patterns against it.
“You okay?” I whisper.
“Mmm hmm,” she murmurs, leaning up to kiss my jaw. She pulls back, her eyes now roaming down my body, following her fingers as they trail a path down my chest.
But then she freezes. Her entire body going completely still beneath mine.
I watch as her eyes widen and as much as I want to explain, I can’t open my fucking mouth and say anything. My words have all gone, disappeared, fucked off and abandoned me.
This is karma, I’m absolutely sure of it.
But whatever it is, I’m not stupid enough to realise that she’s totally not okay anymore.