Was I still on planet Earth?

I couldn’t be sure, really, at this point. I was seeing a side of Zane I had never before had access to. It was as if I’d finally been let inside, past the brick wall, past everything, and Zane was no longer trying to hide from me.

And for fuck’s sake, it was beautiful.

He was incredibly soulful—and incredibly hot, too. It felt like I had been dealing with a new man entirely out in the hallway, him pushing me up against the wall and having his way with me.

I had been so nervous that someone was going to come around the corner and see us like that. It was only fair that I retaliated, making Zane come apart at the seams when Tony was outside the door.

Part of me had expected Zane to kick me out after I blew him. Not because he was some asshole, but because I knew he was in a fragile place.

But nothing could have prepared me for how he acted.

He’d pulled me up and over him again and was kissing me like he had something to prove. He’d reached around and pushed one hand down underneath the waistband of my pants, so that his hand was cupping my bare ass, pulling me close to him.

I was hard again instantly. I knew he could feel it against his naked body through the fabric of my pants, and he seemed dead set on torturing me, rocking against me and squeezing my ass tight as he kissed me.

And then all of a sudden, his hand was gone, and he had broken the kiss. I opened my eyes, ready to protest, only to find him staring at me with a lustful, mischievous hunger in his eyes.

“Come shower with me,” he said, sliding off the bed and pulling me along with him.

I grinned at him. “What, do I smell bad or something?”

He turned to glare at me. “Sebastian, you smell incredible, pretty much all of the time. It’s annoying, honestly. I don’t know how the hell you do it, even after long hikes.”

“Fine, fine,” I said. I followed him to the bathroom, watching his ass the whole time. I was only human.

“This is why I want you to shower with me,” he said once we were inside. He slowly inched up the dimmer switch in the bathroom. Four small, lantern-like lights illuminated around the shower, filling the room with a magical glow. The bathroom was decked out with dark hardwood floors, gleaming fixtures, and small plants that smelled of cedar.

“Jesus Christ,” I said. “I feel like I’m stepping into some kind of… spa.”

“Exactly,” Zane said. “It’s ridiculous.” He reached over, turning on the water, and the rainfall showerhead started immediately to fill the room with steam.

“I’m going to have to have words with Colby,” I said. “The bathroom in my room wasn’t anything like this.”

“Maybe he felt sorry for me,” Zane said. When I turned to protest, I found him smiling.

He nodded. “Take your pants off.”

A thrill shot straight through me as my cock perked up again. “Yes, sir,” I said playfully as I began to unbutton. This was a side of Zane I’d never known until tonight, and I loved every fucking minute of it. He wasn’t domineering, but he clearly knew what he wanted, and wasn’t timid about asking me for it. It was ludicrously sexy.

As I undid every button on my pants, he watched me, leaning against the glass wall of the shower. His eyes traveled across me, searing into me as I stepped out of my pants. I was only in my underwear now, and Zane seemed content to just stand there watching.

I loved having his eyes on me.

After a moment, he let out a satisfied hum. He closed the distance between us, reaching his fingertips beneath my waistband, slow and teasing. Then he pulled me toward him using the elastic and pressed his lips to mine, tugging down on my underwear.

My cock bobbed free, and when I reached down to cast away my last remaining clothing, he already had his hand on me.

“You’re beautiful, Sebastian,” he said, running his open palm along the length of my cock. For a minute he didn’t sound like he was trying to be in charge anymore. Instead he was calm, almost looking like he was in awe. I watched the dark rows of his lashes as he gazed down at my cock before looking back up at me, his brown eyes so warm.

He leaned in to kiss me again, but this time it was all tenderness, none of the raw hunger from before. As he kissed me, he swirled his thumb through the wetness at the tip of my cock, and I took in the smallest gasp, squeezing my hand against his shoulder like I might fall over if I didn’t.

He pulled away then.

“Come on,” he said, taking my hand and leading me into the shower. The heat of the water instantly felt incredible, beating down on my muscles, the steam enveloping us like we were in our own little cocoon. I could feel my heart pattering away in my chest as I looked at Zane.

I reached out, trailing my hand down his side until I rested it at his hip. I had no idea what was coming next, but I had to reach out and touch him.

I expected to be met with the same urgency that he had in the hallway, but this was nothing like that. He was still singularly focused on me, in a way that drove me absolutely insane, but he wasn’t impatient. Instead of reaching straight for my cock again, he poured out some shower gel into his hand.

“Here,” he said as he gently spun me around. He was now behind me, and as I stood in the heat of the water, he started to wash me.

Jeffrey Milzane, a guy that had barely even wanted to talk to me when we met, was now washing me, slow and sweet, after he’d come hard in my mouth.

This was really my life, and I couldn’t believe it.

His hands on my body were steady and anchoring. As he worked the lather against my skin, his fingers pressed into me, almost a massage as much as it was a shower. Slowly, inch by inch, he worked down from my neck to my shoulders to the muscles that flanked my spine. I felt tension releasing with every moment.

“You are… really good at that….” I said, realizing all at once that I was now nearly in a trance-like state.

“Took a class in massage back in college,” he said softly, his fingers firm now against my lower back.

“Well, I damn well bet you got an A-plus,” I murmured, leaning back into his touch.

Soon, his hands were dipping lower, massaging against my hips and then my ass. And I didn’t care what he was leading to or how long he would be doing this, because nothing could have felt better than that damn massage on my ass. His hands were like magic, loosening my whole body, making me want to just melt into him.

And I did lean back, then, close enough that the entire back of my body pressed against his. He moved his hands forward, slightly, so that they rested on my thighs, and he pulled me in as close as he could.

I could feel his cock hanging between my cheeks, now; I could feel his chest against my upper back. He wrapped his arms around me, a big tight hug from behind until all of me was wrapped up in him. I turned my neck, and he leaned down, kissing me slow, the two of us still pressed together.

And that’s when I became acutely aware again of my cock, hard as a damn diamond in front of me again, aching and dripping because of him.

I hummed against his mouth.

“Mmh, please, Zane,” I said quietly as he moved his kisses to my neck and then my shoulder. “Please.”

“Please what?” he murmured.

“Don’t act all innocent now,” I said, squeezing my hands against his arms. I nodded down to my cock. “I’m so fucking turned on it hurts.”

He hummed against me, clearly pleased. His hands shifted, moving along my front now, brushing slick against my nipples and then down to my stomach.

“I never knew you were such a tease,” I said, pressing my ass back into him harder. I knew he had just come, but I had to give him a taste of his own medicine somehow.

“You know you love it,” he said, snaking his hands further down until they were at the front of my hips, just above my cock.

“I want you,” I whispered, leaning my head back so that it lay in the crook of his shoulder.

And then finally, mercifully, he moved a hand to my cock. I was so needy that when he finally touched me, I let out an obscene sound, a deep moan that I knew was already too loud. It only seemed to encourage Zane, though, and now that he was touching me, he didn’t let up. His hand was tight against my cock, stroking me with purpose.

For God’s sake. Ever since I’d met Zane, I had thought about things like this. It was kind of impossible not to, with the way he looked at me; his eyes had always been so penetrating, really seeing me, somehow. I hadn’t known if that would translate to being as intimate in bed—or in the shower—but every little fantasy I’d had couldn’t compare.

He was like some sort of magician. He held me tight as his hand pumped over my cock, and I felt completely and utterly in his control.

His free hand roamed, sending shivers through me even in the heat of the water. It found its way back to my ass, squeezing me tight until gently, he began to tease my hole.

And there I went again, being way too damn loud.

“Oh God, Zane,” I said. He wasn’t pressing hard, but as he moved small circles across my hole, my imagination went wild thinking about how this could feel. How it might feel if he were to fuck me. And involuntarily I began to rock my hips back and forth, pushing up against his finger.

I turned back again, and he bent his head down to meet my lips in a kiss. It was almost too much, the feeling of his tongue hot against mine, his hand tight around my cock, and his finger stroking against my hole.

This man was absolutely fucking ruining me.

He bit gently against my bottom lip before pulling away.

“Can I?” he said, his voice deep and husky near my ear. And somehow, I knew exactly what he meant.

“Please,” I said, in what I thought would be a whisper but turned out more like an urgent command.

And then, slow but firm, he slid his finger inside me. He started stroking my cock harder as he pushed inside of me, and it was around then that I lost all remaining composure I had left.

I swore. I groaned. I called out his name loudly, despite knowing that it was way too loud. And far too quickly, I felt myself wanting to lose control.

I hadn’t wanted to come so bad in years.

“Oh my God, I fucking love—I fucking love that—” I was saying, only half-aware of the words coming out of my mouth.

“I want you to come, Sebastian,” Zane said, close to my ear.

“God—fuck—I’m close,” I uttered, rocking back against his finger until he was deep.

“I’ve got you,” he said, his hand so tight around my cock. He leaned down and kissed me against the side of my neck.

He really, really did have me. I was completely his in that moment, and every other thought in my head had left long ago. I gave myself over to the wave that was crashing around me, and let myself come, over and over, spilling into his hand. I was only dimly aware of anything other than Zane even existing at that point. I was safe in his hands, in his arms, in this little space that only we shared.

And he had just made me come like no one else could. Why did it feel like his hands knew exactly where to go, exactly how to touch me, even though they hadn’t ever before?

Even as I came down from my orgasm, riding the receding waves, I felt safe. I felt cared for. He kept pressing kisses against my neck, gentle now, holding me as I breathed deep. He pulled his finger out of me slowly, and even though I’d already come, some part of me missed him inside me already.

I couldn’t help myself. I turned slowly in his arms, feeling drunk, even though there probably wasn’t that much alcohol left in me anymore. I gazed up into his deep eyes, wrapping my arms around him. I pressed my lips to his, kissing him softly, some way of thanking him without words.

We finished washing each other wordlessly after that. It felt so right to still have our hands against one another, even now that sex wasn’t in the picture anymore. And when Zane turned off the water and retrieved towels for us, I felt like I was floating on a cloud somewhere, miles and miles above the ground.

With our towels slung across our hips, our eyes met in the low light of the bathroom.

And as I looked at him, I realized that I no longer knew what was normal. I didn’t know what he expected. For fuck’s sake, I hadn’t expected a single bit of this to happen at all.

Now that it was over… what did we do?

“Ah…” I started without yet knowing what I was going to say. “So… I guess I can… head back to my room, if—”

“No,” Zane said quickly, taking a step toward me. “If… that’s what you really want, then of course. But otherwise… please stay with me?”

He reached out, taking my hand in his and squeezing it tight. For the first time tonight, I saw what I thought might even be fear in his eyes. “Please stay. I don’t want to be alone.”

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I hadn’t expected this level of… almost neediness, from Zane. Zane, who usually seemed like he wanted to be in a cave somewhere alone. Who usually had the communication level of a piece of raw stone.

But here he was, being loud and clear about the fact that he wanted me to spend the night in his room.

“Of course,” I said. “I’ll stay.”

Not two minutes later, we were tucked together in his bed, pressed up tight against one another.

At first, I didn’t stand a chance of falling asleep. My whole body was alight all over again, lying next to Zane in bed. It was the novelty of everything—not only had I not been in bed like this with another man in so long, but also… Zane wasn’t just any other man. I felt his breath, gentle on my hair, as I lay there in his arms, and I found myself thinking the silliest things. What was Zane’s earliest memory? His most lofty goals? His favorite ice cream flavor?

I wanted to know everything about him. Tonight I had learned what he looked like when he came, and now I knew the soft sounds he made as he fell asleep next to me.

With every new thing I learned, it was like a new, tiny part of my heart that I never knew existed was opening up.

As I finally drifted to sleep, I realized with certainty that this, more than any of the sex, was the most intimate moment of the entire night.

This was an acknowledgment that he did want me. Even if it was only for tonight, he wanted me. It would be a memory I could keep forever, turning over in my head, no matter what happened.

A memory that would show me that I had been wanted.

“How on God’s green earth are you already partying this hard again after last night?” I asked Tony, incredulously, from across the big, wooden table.

“Sebastian, you’re witnessing a master at work,” Tony said, shrugging, a big grin on his face as he finished his beer.

It was the next afternoon, and the five of us were at one of the many events the hotel had on offer: a free beer tasting session. We were on the far end of the rooftop bar, in a little alcove meant for private hotel events. People kept milling in and out, sampling a few beers and then leaving, but we’d been posted up at this table for a half hour.

Tony, of course, had already finished about ten of the sample-size glasses of beer. I was nursing my third.

“I agree with Sebastian,” Colby said. He had his sunglasses on, leaning back in his tall chair as the breeze went through his hair. “Last night I went way too hard. Those mojitos they have are bonkers.”

“And you’ve still got until tomorrow to prove you can win one game against me,” Austin said, smirking at Tony. “I don’t know where the rest of you were last night, but you missed out on me laughing in Tony’s face as he lost every single arcade game.”

“He’s right,” Tony said, shrugging. “What he doesn’t know is that I was just saving all my energy for tonight when I’m going to whoop his ass in every game.”

“You guys did disappear early,” Colby said, turning to the end of the table where Zane and I sat. “I didn’t mind—I got into this long conversation with one of the barbacks—god, he’s had such a long, storied life. If you get a chance, you should really talk with Frank—but, anyway, I hope you two had as good a night as I did?”

Zane and I exchanged a quick glance before looking back at Colby.

“That sucks,” I said. “Sounds like it was fun. I was just… tired.”

“I would have come for you, too, Sebastian, if I knew which room you were staying in. You boring people who go to sleep early should consider yourselves lucky I didn’t bring the dance party right to your door.”

I snorted. “Whatever, Tony. We can dance tonight. You can’t be mad at me and Zane just because we were tired.”

“I totally can,” he said, grinning. “But okay. You can redeem yourselves by dancing with us tonight.”

“I don’t dance,” Zane said.

“Bullshit!” Tony said with a laugh. “We’ll see about that tonight. They have a live band tonight, too, even better than a DJ.”

We stayed up there, slowly making our way through the different beer samples, for a long while. It was amazing feeling like I had my own little secret every time I looked over at Zane. It was as if I’d almost forget that last night had happened, and then a small glance from him would make it all come crashing back: his lips, his hands, his finger inside me.

Once, his hand brushed up against mine as I passed him a beer, and I shivered just from that.

I was busy, lost in thought remembering how his mouth had felt against my skin when a group even louder than ours entered the patio. It was like they had descended in force, ready to break up the nice, relaxing afternoon we were having.

It was only when they all sat down right next to us at the long, communal table that I realized it was David’s bachelor party.

Because of course it was.

“Well, hello there!” David’s fiance said. I realized with a bitter pleasure that I didn’t even remember his name.

“Hi, Emmanuel!” Colby chirped, friendly as ever.

Right. Emmanuel. He was French, perfect, and I couldn’t stand him.

I thanked God that Colby and Tony pretty much took over talking duties and that David was sitting a few chairs down from me, so I didn’t have to interact with him. One person in their party had come and parked himself next to Zane, though, over on our end of the table where the only free seat was left.

He had introduced himself to both of us. His name was Carter, and he had quickly gotten into some conversation with Zane about the architecture of the hotel. I had no clue what they were talking about, so instead I sat back, sipping my beers a little more quickly now, just listening. Something about my exhaustion, the afternoon sun, my goddamn ex-boyfriend, and the beers had made me less bubbly and much more irate than usual.

“Don’t I know it,” Zane was saying to Carter, shaking his head. “This is my tenth time being a groomsman.”

“Jesus, really?” Carter replied. He was well dressed, in a nice lilac button-down, and at least the top four buttons were unbuttoned.

It annoyed me.

Zane nodded. “And it’s my last time doing it, trust me. I’m so done with weddings; you wouldn’t believe.”

Carter shook his head. “No. I believe you, for sure. I’ve only been in three weddings, and I’m already done with it.”

“To no more weddings,” Zane said, holding out his beer, and the two of them clinked their glasses together before taking a swig.

“So I assume you don’t have any plans to do it yourself?” Carter asked with a laugh.

“What?” Zane replied, clearly confused.

“No plans to get married? Have a wedding of your own?”

My eyes shot to Zane. I knew he didn’t like being a groomsman, but I had no idea what his own thoughts on marriage were.

“Ah, no,” he said, his eyes downcast, swirling the remaining beer in his glass. “I’m single. No marriage plans.”

“Me too. Very single,” Carter said, still a sly smile on his face. He didn’t seem to realize at all that a dark cloud had come over Zane when he’d said he was single. Of course not. Because this Carter guy had no clue about Zane’s past, about his awful breakup, about his wounds and his pain and how quickly he could break.

Carter didn’t know Zane like I did.

“I’ve got to say I’m shocked,” Carter was saying, leaning closer to Zane now, fully ignoring that I was even there. “A guy like you? Single? I mean, Jesus, from across the room, I thought you were some sort of famous model, at first—”

“Getting kind of hot out here, isn’t it?” I interjected, probably louder than I should have. At least two other random people on the patio turned to look at me. “Think I’m going to go grab a lemonade. Do you want anything, Zane?”

His eyes were wide as he looked up at me. “Oh—no, no, I’m fine. Thank you, Sebastian.”

I got up, my chair scraping against the stone below, and turned. I walked inside without looking back. I could have easily gotten a lemonade from one of the outdoor bars, but I really did need to cool off, and nothing sounded better than the indoor bar right at that moment.

When I got to the bar inside, sliding onto the cool, dark wood of the barstool, I ordered a double scotch on the rocks instead of a lemonade. It was a whim, and I never usually drank scotch, but something inside me had prickled. I wanted a harder drink.

The scotch arrived, and in one gulp, I finished half the glass. I practically choked on it.

“Jeez,” I said out loud to the lady sitting near me, “what do you know? Scotch is stronger than my usual sugary mojitos.” She didn’t seem to appreciate my sarcasm, and after dropping a twenty-dollar bill on the bartop, she walked away.

I was only one of a few people sitting around the long, marble bar. It was barely even four o’clock, and anyone with any sense was outside lounging in the paradise of the outdoor deck, anyway.

But I’d had to get away from Carter and Zane, and David and Emmanuel. It had crept up on me. I had been perfectly fine until I wasn’t, and somehow, seeing someone hit on Zane had kind of broken my brain.

I knew Zane wasn’t actually mine. I knew I claimed no part of him, and I knew that I had no reason to care if some random guy was hitting on him.

...But Zane had still felt like he was mine last night. He sure felt like he was mine when I was wrapped in his arms in bed, or later on in the night when I’d woken up to him pulling me close and kissing me all over before we fell softly asleep again. He’d felt like he was mine when we’d woken up together, sun pouring in the windows, both of us hard and wanting, but knowing we had to go meet up with the other guys outside.

And I guess he had still felt like he was mine while we were up on the deck, even though it was our own little secret.

But now I just felt like another guy again.

I was polishing off the last drops of the scotch, wincing as it burned my throat, when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Sebastian,” Zane said, and I swiveled on the barstool to meet his eyes.

“Hi,” I said, putting my empty drink back down on the bar, the clink of glass on marble cutting through the room.

“You doing okay in here? That doesn’t look like a lemonade,” he said, leaning against the bar next to me.

I nodded, realizing that the alcohol had hit me very quickly. “That’s because it’s a single-malt scotch. Or it was, anyway. It’s kind of gone, now.”

“I can see that,” Zane said, his eyes dancing across my face. “You sure you’re all right?”

I nodded quickly, looking down at the bar, picking up a napkin, and beginning to fold and unfold it. “Oh, I’m fine, you know—just in here, on my own, for a bit. It’s okay. You can go back out there, have fun, meeting new people, and all that—”

Zane put a finger to my chin, and I looked up at him again. He tipped my head back with his finger.

And then he leaned in, kissing me deep and slow.

I didn’t care how much alcohol I’d just consumed—that kiss would have made my head spin even if I were stone-cold sober.

It was a deep, passionate kiss, like the ones we’d shared in the private shower. Not at all like one I’d have ever expected him to give me right here, out in the open, in a hotel where any of the other guys could walk by at any moment.

When he pulled away, he sat down at the barstool next to mine and watched me.

“Wow,” I said finally, just staring at him like a dumbfounded puppy.

“What?” Zane asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. “Just… uh… didn’t exactly think you’d do something like that right here. Right now. Where like, anyone could see. And many people probably did just see.”

“Well,” he said with a small shrug, reaching down and running his fingers over the napkin that I’d left on the bar. “I missed you. And I wanted to.”

“You… missed me? Zane, I was only gone for twenty minutes, max.”

“I was worried about you, okay?” he said. “And judging from the fact that I found you downing a scotch, I think I was right.”

I pulled in a long breath, letting it out. “Fine,” I conceded. “And… thank you. For that kiss. I now have to will my cock to go down because I swear I got seventy-five percent hard just from that, but… thank you.”

A smile appeared on Zane’s lips. “Sebastian. I’m not going to go hook up with that Carter person, if that’s what you were worried about. It’s quite frankly adorable that you’d be jealous, but he’s really not my type.”

“You can do whatever you want,” I said, shaking my head. “I swear. But I’m glad you don’t… regret what we did, at least.”

Zane bit his bottom lip, nodding. “I… I’m not ready for Colby or any of them to… to know we’ve done anything. It feels like the wrong time, and it feels too… soon. But I need you to know I’m not ashamed of anything, Sebastian.”

I nodded slowly, briefly reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Okay,” I said softly.

His eyes on mine made me want to say fuck everything, made me want to grab him and lure him down to his hotel room again, to stay there all night naked in bed together—to hell with the rest of the world.

But I knew that wasn’t the right move. And I knew we both had to control ourselves, no matter how excruciating it felt.

And so, two minutes later, after ordering an actual, ice-cold lemonade, I returned outside to the deck with Zane and joined back up with the rest of the guys.

I could still feel the ghost of his lips on mine.

For the rest of the night, I played the part of the perfect, happy best man again. I actually kind of lost myself in the festivities, too. We finally went to the hot tub with Tony, and after changing back into real clothes, we joined the mobs of people up on the dance floor. The live band was good, the drinks were flowing, and for a moment, I forgot that I even had a secret to keep.

No one noticed when I snuck a hand to Zane’s waist or purposely pushed up close behind him. At one point, while the other guys were engrossed in a conversation, I even pulled Zane behind a column and kissed him, deep and slow like he had earlier.

But as the night wore on, and Tony kept pushing and pushing for us to party harder, I quickly became exhausted. I could see that Zane was too, but that neither of us wanted to be the one to spoil the fun.

There hadn’t been many opportunities for me and Zane to break off and spend time together one-on-one. And even when finally, nearing three o’clock in the morning, we told Tony we were done for the night, we didn’t get our chance.

“Oh, fine,” Tony said, smiling at us, his eyes bleary. “You’re right. We should head up.”

He came down the elevator with us, and Zane and I kept our distance from one another on the ride. As we walked down the hallway, I expected Tony to just continue on to his own room, but instead, he seemed intent on talking forever with Zane.

“I just don’t know how they do it,” he was saying, drunkenly shaking his head. “It’s like they’re little balls of ice cream? But they’re hard, and you can… scoop them up with a spoon….”

“Yes, Dippin’ Dots are pretty crazy,” Zane said, giving him a polite smile.

“Exactly!” Tony said, giving Zane a playful pat on the back. “They are crazy. I just don’t know how you can get ice cream to take that shape. And keep that shape! Dude, we’ve got to get some right now. Do you think anywhere around here sells them?”

“Tony,” I protested, leaning on the wall. “It’s three in the morning. You can only get Dippin’ Dots at the mall. Now can we go to bed?”

Tony shrugged. “You can go to bed whenever you want, bud. I’m having a conversation here with Zane about ice cream. Weird ice cream….”

I had nothing to say back to him. He was right. I could just walk down the hall to my own room. But of course I couldn’t tell him the truth, which was that I couldn’t wait to tuck into the covers next to Zane, to feel his body against mine again, to forget the whole world existed other than him.

I exchanged a look with Zane. “Okay,” I said. “I’m... going to bed, I guess.”

I walked down the hallway quickly, hoping that once I’d broken off from the group to go to sleep, Tony would do the same. But as I continued down the hall, I heard him ask Zane, “I mean, what do you really think the meaning of life is, anyway?”

We were doomed.

I went back to my own room. It felt foreign to me, not like my space at all. Zane’s room had felt like my true home base during this trip. Everything was clean and undisturbed in here. I collapsed onto the bed, lying on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

After ten minutes of willing myself not fall asleep, I quietly opened my room door and peeked out into the hallway again. Tony wasn’t there, but I shot Zane a quick text just in case.

>>SEBASTIAN: All good? He’s not, like, lying on the floor of your room asking about the nature of the universe, right? Can I come over?

I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for a reply. And as none came, I gradually grew more and more anxious.

What if Zane just wanted to sleep alone tonight? Was it possible I was overstaying my welcome, inviting myself over? I mean, he had kissed me pretty passionately earlier today at the bar, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted me in his bed again so soon.

And when I caught myself worrying about things like that, the spiral only worsened. Because I knew that I was deep in the throes of falling for someone that I knew was going to leave me. Leave me very soon. With David, I could never have predicted him ditching me cold turkey, but with Zane, it was just part of the deal.

Everything was going to come to an abrupt end when Zane went back to LA, whether I liked it or not.

It should have been easy. If Zane was just a fun hookup, just a quick summer fling, then it should have been good that he was leaving town soon. But instead, here I was, developing feelings for someone who’d just entered my life.

Because I’d had plenty of hookups before, but none of them had felt as intense as last night had. Hell, none of them had even felt as intense as the night of the camping trip had.

I was in way, way over my head.

When it had been twenty minutes with no reply from Zane, I buried my head in my pillows, breathing deep.

Okay. This is a good thing. You can start ripping the Band-Aid off now, ahead of time, and then when he leaves to go back to LA, you won’t care as much.

It would be easier that way, anyway. If I just tried hard enough, I could forget about last night in due time. My decision was made.

And of course, that’s when I heard the little chirp of my phone, signaling that I had a new message.

>>ZANE: Yes. Coast is clear. I’m right here, if you want to.

And every little barrier I’d constructed in my mind over the past twenty minutes crumbled away.

I was at his door a minute later. Right after I knocked, the door unlatched, and Zane appeared, already in his sweatpants, looking out at me with that now familiar longing.

“Get in here,” he said, his voice low, as he reached out and pulled me in by the front of my shirt.