The first thing I was aware of when I woke up was that I was happy.

It was completely undefined, at first. I couldn’t really remember why I was happy, or what I had done that had caused me to be.

But it felt different to wake up and feel that way. Even in my dimly conscious state of mind, I knew that something in my life had shifted.

And as I woke up more and blinked my eyes open to the sun pouring into my hotel room, I remembered everything. Sebastian was in my bed, tucked in the crook of my arm, sleeping peacefully at my side. He almost looked more angelic when he slept than when he was awake, which I hadn’t known would be possible.

Last night floated back to me in pieces. Wanting so badly to be near him all night, but not being able to. The kiss we shared in the bar. And finally, my joy when I realized he still wanted to come spend the night with me. Half of me had thought for sure that he’d gone off to his own room. Not because of Tony, but because he’d decided against staying with me.

But then he was in my arms again. And without even knowing what I was doing, I was pulling off his clothes and pulling him into bed with me. We had held each other tight, and I’d kissed him like I’d wanted to all night, over and over again. We wanted each other, of course, but exhaustion had won out, and instead of having sex, we’d fallen asleep soon afterward, our bodies entwined under the sheets.

And then I’d had the privilege of waking up to him still so tight against me. As I shifted just the slightest bit in bed, I realized all at once that I was in fact very hard—I suppose it would have been difficult not to be—and my cock was brushing up against Sebastian’s thigh.

He murmured lightly, not quite awake, and turned a little. His eyes shot open when he felt me against his leg. He gave me a look.

“Mmm,” he hummed. “Good morning.” His hand found its way to my cock, and he slowly stroked it with his palm through the fabric of my sweatpants.

“I think it might almost be afternoon,” I said softly, glancing at the quality of the light.

“No way,” he said, and I heard a little bit of sadness in his voice.

Colby was set to round us all up and check everyone out of the hotel soon, and then it was time for the ride home.

I leaned over slightly, reaching for my phone on the nightstand.

“Yup,” I said, “it’s nearly eleven thirty.”

“Fuck,” Sebastian said, and he gave my cock one last firm squeeze before reaching up to extract himself from the bed.

A few seconds later, we heard a soft knock at the door.

“Hey, Zane! It’s Colby,” came Colby’s voice, much quieter and more polite than Tony’s had been on Friday night. “We’re going down to the lobby now, if you’re ready? I tried sending you a text, but—”

“We’ll be—I’ll be down there soon,” I said, feeling my cheeks grow hot. Colby probably hadn’t noticed that slip-up, I hoped.

“Okay!” he said, his voice still normal and sunny as ever. “I’m going to go check on Sebastian now. He hasn’t answered my text either.”

“Ah—he—he texted me,” I said, turning to Sebastian and giving him a big shrug. “He’s up. He said he’ll be down soon, too.”

“Oh! Great!” Colby responded. “Well, I guess I’ll see you down there—oh, fuck!”

I quickly glanced to Sebastian, furrowing my brow. That “oh fuck” had not sounded like normal, cheery Colby.

I stepped a little closer to the door. “Colb? You all right?”

“Oh my God, oh my fuck, it hurts—oh shit—”

“Colby, are you hurt?” I said, quickly going to the door and looking out the peephole.

“Jesus, I just spilled my entire, scalding coffee down my leg. It burns—”

Panic shot through me. I had no other option, and I was more than a little worried about Colby.

I pulled open the door. “Come in. Just get in here. Take those pants off, quick. The heat is still sitting against your skin.”

I quickly glanced back at Sebastian with a defeated look that said, well, he’s coming in.

Colby quickly beelined for the bathroom, not even seeming to notice that Sebastian was standing next to my bed, quickly tugging pants and a shirt on. I joined Colby in the bathroom, turning the shower on to a cool, but not cold, temperature, and insisting that he strip down and get inside.

“Don’t be modest, Colby. The last thing you need a week before your wedding is second-degree burns,” I said. “I’ll leave you in here, but change into some comfortable clothes afterward, okay? I can go downstairs and see if they have any first aid items—”

“No, no, Zane,” Colby said, letting out a long sigh. Now that he was in his boxers, I could see the red patch where the coffee had spilled on his leg, but it didn’t look at all like a serious burn. “I think I’ll be fine. I can just… press a cool washcloth to it. I’m sorry for barging in like this, I just—”

Colby let out a sigh, sitting down on the ledge of the tub at the side of the room.

“Is… everything all right?” I asked, stepping closer to him.

He looked up at me with a puppy-dog smile. “I think… the nerves are finally setting in, Zane,” he said. “I mean, I never want to say anything like this around most of the guys—especially Sebastian. I mean, he’s so good at this, and all of the bachelor activities have been so great, but… I can’t believe the day is actually almost here.”

I took a deep breath, wetting down a washcloth for him and bringing it to his leg. Shortly after I’d put the towel on him, he let out a little yelp.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked.

But Colby wasn’t even looking at his leg or at me. He was looking behind me.

And when I turned around, I saw Sebastian, timidly poking his head in the door.

“Sebastian! I didn’t even know you were here! Oh, I hope you didn’t overhear me—I certainly wasn’t meaning to say I haven’t been enjoying the bachelor festivities—”

Sebastian smiled, stepping into the bathroom. “Of course not. In fact, I think I overheard you saying the exact opposite. You’re too nice, Colbs. Even when you’re saying good things behind someone’s back, you feel bad.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here, Sebastian,” Colby said. “You came by to wake Zane up, too?

Sebastian cut me a quick glance, as if he was looking for help or maybe looking for permission.

“He did,” I said. I knew it would be easier if I just handled the situation. “He texted me, like you said—and then came over when I didn’t respond.”

Sebastian nodded along, though I felt a sting of pain when I saw the slightest bit of sadness in his eyes.

And it kind of tore me up. I knew that the plan—well, my plan, really—was not to mention any of this to Colby or the other guys, to keep our hookup a secret. Colby had too much going on in his life right now, clearly, and the last thing I wanted was him worrying that two of his groomsmen were more interested in fucking one another than helping out at the wedding.

It felt like a dagger to the gut to have to lie. Lie to my best friend, and lie about someone I was starting to think I cared for in a deep way.

But if I thought about telling the truth, my brain began to freak out. How could I possibly explain things? How could I not seem like a madman, coming off of a decade-long relationship and then starting to fall for a guy I’d known for two weeks? It was scary enough that it was happening at all—a big part of me felt like I was unsuitable for a relationship. I’d thought I would need to be single for maybe years after Michael left.

How could I trust myself around Sebastian, let alone trust other people to understand my developing feelings for him?

I was exceedingly glad that Sebastian went to Colby’s side, talking him through his newly acquired wedding jitters. Because I was in my own private little tailspin, too.

Sebastian calmed Colby in about five minutes flat, and then we were out, back on the road. Sebastian had driven up separately from us, and I missed him on the ride home. But otherwise, it was uneventful, and I was grateful for that. Even Tony was tired, falling asleep quickly in the front seat. I dozed to the sounds of Colby gently singing along to the radio, driving us through the Idaho mountains that now felt familiar to me.

Colby dropped Tony and Austin off first. My car was parked at Colby’s house from when I’d dropped Jelly off with Erica. Sebastian would be over soon, too, to discuss some wedding logistics with Colby that night.

So the three of us wound up together back in Colby’s living room, with Jelly briefly greeting me before leaping over to Sebastian’s side, very excited to see him.

“She was such a good girl,” Erica said.

“Glad to hear it,” I said. “She may not like me much, but she’s a well-behaved dog.”

“Aww, I think she likes you,” Erica said, rubbing my shoulder. “Maybe she just likes the way Sebastian smells, huh?”

I nodded, giving her a polite smile, trying not to think of how much I loved the way Sebastian smelled. God, I was in too deep.

“Oh my God, Colb, babe—” Erica said suddenly, getting a wild, elated look in her eye. “I know you have to talk to Sebastian about the wedding, but real quick, I have to show you what Gertrude did while you were gone.”

“...Who exactly is Gertrude?” I asked.

Erica smiled. “Gertrude is the bluejay that started a nest up in one of our oaks. She’s amazing, and Colby and I kind of treat her like our wild pet.”

Colby had the same precious look in his eyes. “Do you mind, Sebastian? It’ll only be five minutes.”

“Of course not,” he responded, petting Jelly as he sat on the couch. “I’ve got all the good company in the world right here.”

“Okay. Back in five,” Colby said, and he and Erica disappeared out onto the back deck and into their yard.

The house was then filled with silence, other than Jelly’s labored breathing as she wagged her rump and pawed at Sebastian. I sat down nearby, just watching the two of them, having no idea what I should say.

“Um… so—” he started.

“Yeah?” I responded, probably far too eagerly. This was the most awkward I’d been in months, and it was with someone who’d had his hand on my cock earlier that day.

“Ah,” he said, looking from Jelly to me and then back again. Well, at least I wasn’t the only one of us being awkward. “I just wanted to ask… if you had any plans to grab food after this? I mean, if you’re even hungry.”

“I’m pretty hungry, I’d say,” I said.

“Not much is open in Ellisville on a Sunday night. Restaurants, I mean.”

“Oh,” I said, nodding. “Right. Small towns, huh?”

I kind of wanted to punch myself in my own awkward little face at that moment.

Luckily, Sebastian didn’t laugh out loud at me. He bit his bottom lip. “I don’t have much, but, uh… if you wanted, I’m sure I could throw together some pasta or something, back home….”

My eyes shot up to meet his. “Really?” I asked.

He nodded. “Of course. Like I said, wouldn’t be much, but—”

“Oh, Sebastian, I’d love that,” I said, quickly scooting a little closer to him and grabbing his hand, squeezing it tight. He seemed shocked, his eyes going wide.

But he squeezed my hand back. “Okay. I’d love that, too.”

I breathed out a long sigh. “I thought you’d never ask,” I said with a sheepish smile.

I remembered the glimpse of a sad look in his eyes earlier that day when I’d lied to Colby about why Sebastian was in my room. But if he was inviting me over for dinner, he couldn’t be completely angry with me.

“I’ll head back to my hotel, freshen up, then… head over to your place?” I asked.

“Sure. Let me give you my address. It’s not that far from the lodge.”

Sebastian typed his address into a text message and sent it to me.

“Great,” I said. Colby and Erica had emerged onto the deck again, and they were about to come inside. I squeezed Sebastian’s hand once more before pulling away, and I stood up to retrieve Jelly’s leash.

“Heading out?” Colby said when he was back inside.

“Yeah, I’m going to take Jelly back. Hopefully she won’t miss this place too much. Thank you again, Erica—I really can’t thank you enough for watching her. I know she can be a ball of energy.”

“A wonderful one,” Erica said, giving me a tight hug. “See you soon, Zane.”

I wasn’t sure I had ever seen a house quite like Sebastian’s before.

As I stood outside his front door, I almost felt like I had been transported into some different era. I could have seen this same house existing in the early 1900s with no difficulty.

Firstly, it was small. It didn’t look like a “tiny house,” but the whole thing couldn’t have been bigger than Colby’s living room. There was a small front porch with a set of four stairs that led up to his front door. A small lantern glowed out front, and pine trees surrounded the area behind the house. There were other, similarly small houses nearby, but none of them looked quite as precious as Sebastian’s.

It was like a little cottage. I couldn’t believe that someone like Sebastian could live in such a simple home.

I took a deep breath before heading up the steps. I had Jelly with me—Sebastian had specifically texted me to tell me it was fine, and he was looking forward to seeing her again. She bounded up the stairs, immediately starting to wag as she approached the door.

I knocked, and a few moments later, Sebastian let me inside. I stepped into what must have been the best-smelling place I’d ever been in.

“Jesus Christ, it smells amazing in here,” I said.

He smiled. “I… may have gone a little bit overboard,” he said. “I found frozen cookie dough, so I’m baking some of those for dessert. And I’ve got a pot of chai boiling for us.”

“That explains why it smells like incredible cloves and sugar,” I said.

“And of course, I’m going to ruin all that in a second when I start heating up the pasta sauce. It’ll smell like… sweet, sugary, tomato-y cloves, I guess?” he said.

I smiled, immediately feeling like I had arrived somewhere that felt like home. Not my home, of course, but definitely a home—not a hotel, not a lodge, not a near mansion like Colby’s place.

And it felt even better when I leaned in close to Sebastian, pressing my lips to his, and he kissed me back. I kissed him slowly, trying and hoping to God I could make up for earlier today.

I sighed against him, kissing his lips, his neck, his temple. “I missed you,” I said.

He laughed softly. “It hasn’t been that long since we were together, Zane.”

“You know what I mean, though.”

His eyes met mine. “I really do.”

I knew he hadn’t liked it when I lied to Colby, and I knew it had been awkward between us at Colby’s house. But we were here now together, and that was all that mattered to me.

“So,” Sebastian said as he pulled away, “I definitely am not looking to continue the liquor-fest that was this weekend, but would you like a glass of wine?”

I nodded. “I’ll take one, yeah,” I said. As Sebastian made his way to the kitchen, I took in the surroundings for the first time.

And as much as I couldn’t imagine Sebastian living in this small house from the outside, the inside completely felt like him. He’d done an incredible job decorating the space. The living room was tiny and attached to the kitchen, but the wall had many framed photos hanging, both pictures of Idaho scenery and some of Sebastian and his family and friends. There were books everywhere, and little mementos that I assumed were meaningful to Sebastian: a small statuette from New York City, a neat row of a dozen tiny potted plants and terrariums on the windowsill, a big framed concert poster. I sat down on the couch, which was plush and borderline more comfortable than Colby’s fancy one. On the side of the room I could see through a doorway into a small room with a bed, and then another door led to a bathroom. I was pretty sure that was the entire house.

A moment later, Sebastian swooped in again and handed me a modest glass of wine, and we clinked our glasses together.

“Thank you,” I said, taking a sip. “It’s perfect.”

He smiled. Jelly made a small whimper at his feet, and he looked down at her, one hand on his hip. “Oh, Jelly Belly, I haven’t forgotten about you.” In a second, he was in the kitchen, filling a small bowl of water for her, and when he put it down, she lapped it right up.

“All right, I’m starting the pasta now,” he called from the kitchen, turning to glance my way. “You okay?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “You sure you don’t need any help?”

“No way,” he said. “I can boil some pasta for us. I’ve got a handle on it.” He winked at me before turning back around to face the stove, and I settled in on the couch.

No matter how easy Sebastian kept saying it was, he sure did seem busy in the kitchen—he was chopping something and kept flitting about the room. It looked more complicated than the usual jar of sauce and box of pasta I was used to making.

But I let him be. My eyes scanned the living room, settling on a photo that I realized must have been Sebastian and his mother. She looked like a woman who had been through a lot, both strong and weathered, perhaps a little intimidating. He looked his usual sweet-as-hell, feisty self. He had his arm around her in the photo, and it was clear how tight-knit they were.

Seeing that photo made me realize how little I really knew about Sebastian—his life, his past, his inner thoughts. I looked over at him in the kitchen, at how efficiently he worked in there, his body almost graceful in its movements. It gave me a surge of affection I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it.

Michael hadn’t liked cooking. He’d always wanted to go out to eat, and if he was forced to cook, he would act like it was some monstrous chore the entire time.

And I knew I shouldn’t have been comparing Michael to Sebastian. It was ridiculous. But Sebastian was the first person I’d slept with since Michael, so for once, I decided to give myself a break.

I liked that Sebastian was seemingly overjoyed to be cooking us a meal.

I got up, crossing over toward the kitchen. Sebastian had just pulled out the tray of cookies from the oven and was standing, surveying the room. I went up behind him and slid my arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.

“Am I interrupting?” I asked softly.

He hummed, squeezing my hands. “Totally,” he said, rocking in my arms, “...and I love it.”

I kissed the back of his neck, holding him tight, looking over at the gently boiling pasta on the stove. I noticed that he had a tray of sliced plums and apricots at the side, and another with fresh-cut broccoli, ready to be roasted.

“What? I thought you said it was just a simple pasta dish,” I said.

“Well… it was going to be. But I couldn’t resist.”

“You’re incredible, you know that? Thank you for doing all this,” I said.

“Of course. Thank you for coming over,” he said softly. He swiveled in my arms, turning to face me before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

It almost felt like something real. Like a quiet moment in a relationship better than any one I’d ever had. I could imagine coming home to this or letting Sebastian come home to this, with me making dinner for us instead.

It made my heart squeeze in my chest. I knew that when I returned to LA, I would have to go back and face my real life—alone and single.

But for now, I could hold onto this. For tonight I could feel welcome in Sebastian’s home, almost as if I were really part of his life.