Something had happened to me.

It was like the fight had drained out of me, like every reason I had to distance myself from Sebastian had disappeared in an instant.

Since the camping trip, I had been so hell-bent on staying away from him, not acknowledging the desire I had for him. And the only reason for any of it was that I was afraid.

I was afraid it was too soon. I was afraid I wasn’t ready for anything new and physical. I was afraid of any emotion, really, because I was feeling everything too intensely the past month or two.

But that fear had left me—or I’d finally gotten myself to ignore it—when I’d seen Sebastian walking over to the edge of the balcony, looking like he needed someone. I didn’t know who or what he needed. I didn’t know what had happened during that conversation with David. But I knew Sebastian needed something. And I couldn’t bear myself if I’d left him alone.

I wasn’t sure if going over to him and talking to him was helping at all, but it was the least I could do. He’d done the same for me many times, and he deserved it. Finally, the sad look had left his eyes when I’d suggested we play pinball, and that was all the encouragement I needed.

I was loading quarters into the machine, now, and Sebastian was leaning against its side, inspecting the flashing lights inside carefully, like he was studying it. I couldn’t help but let my eyes travel over his body, from the slight dip of his back to the curve of his ass.

I really had had too much to drink. I could feel my cock stirring under my pants, just from watching Sebastian. And no matter how bold the night and the alcohol had made me, I knew getting hard right now was a bad idea.

I focused on the pinball machine instead.

“All right, ready for round one,” I said, watching the lights flash upwards after starting the game.

“How many rounds are there?” Sebastian asked, turning toward me.

“Sebastian, you have played pinball before, right?”

“Of course!” he replied, batting his lashes. “I mean, like, when I was ten….”

“Oh wow,” I said, grinning. “There are three rounds, usually. Five on certain types of machines. Watch and learn.”

I focused on the ball and for a while got lost in concentration. For some reason, I’d always been better at pinball when I was drunk, likely the product of mostly playing it in college at local bars.

“Damn,” I cursed when I let the ball slip to the bottom after a few minutes.

“Holy shit!” Sebastian called out, and I looked up to see him beaming at me. “You are so good at that. Jesus. You kept that thing going forever.”

I puffed out a laugh. “That’s not my best work, I’m telling you,” I said. “You wanna do the next one?”

His eyes widened. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it for even one minute, let alone how long you did, but… I’ll try.”

We switched spots, and he put his mojito on the table next to us. “Okay… how do I start it up?”

I grinned at him, reaching to the front of the machine to press the button. “Go ahead,” I said, watching.

Sebastian released the ball, and it flew up to the top of the board, immediately pinging downward. He tried to paddle, but the effort was futile. The ball quickly sank down, and the round was over as soon as it had started.

“Oops,” he said, looking to me with a small smile.

I shook my head, grinning at him. I took a sip of my drink, then came around to the back of the machine.

“Okay,” I said. “We’re going to try that again.”

“I’ll let you do it,” he said, moving away. “You’re better than I’ll ever be.”

“No, no,” I said, gesturing to the back of the machine. “Get back there. Only one way to get better.”

“You want me to watch over your shoulder?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No. I’m going to teach you.”

He stepped behind the machine again. I pushed the start button and then slid my hands over his, on top of the paddle buttons.

“First of all, you don’t want to jam on the ball release so harshly,” I said. “You want to be firm, but gentle.”

“Oh,” he said, “of course.”

I moved my hand to release the ball, then quickly back on top of Sebastian’s at the paddle buttons.

“See how it’s coming down nicely and predictably now?” I said softly. “We’ve got to anticipate where it’s going to be, and then press… now.”

I pushed my fingers down on top of his, teaching Sebastian the timing.

He laughed as the ball went up, straight into a bonus points zone. “See?” I said.

“Wow, I got some points,” he said. “Better than zero.”

As we played—or, really, I played, with my hands on top of his, I relaxed my body against him. I barely even noticed it as it was happening. It felt natural to press up against him like that, and the back of his body was so pleasantly warm against the front of mine. The sensation snuck up on me, and when finally the game was over, it hit me all at once.

I was basically almost spooning him from behind. Now that I wasn’t focused on the game, all of my attention was on him, and my body lit up.

Jesus, he felt good tucked against me. He was just the perfect amount shorter than me so that his head fit against the crook of my shoulder, so if we turned our heads, we could have kissed. And if I had leaned forward just the slightest bit, my cock would be pressed against his ass.

We were close enough for me to immediately begin imagining fucking him like this. To imagine how nice it would be if he stripped and bent over, if he glanced back at me and told me to slip inside him.

Holy fuck.

“Well, there you go,” I said, launching backwards immediately, breaking our contact, and returning to the other side of the machine. My cock was hardening again, and if I’d stayed pressed against him, he would have felt me. I drained the rest of my mojito. “God, I could use another drink. You want another?”

Sebastian was staring at me, his cheeks a little flushed. “Ah—yeah, I do,” he said. He glanced over at his own glass, polishing off the rest of it.

I bought him another round. We eventually ended up lost in the crowd, sandwiched between a group of twentysomething women dancing and laughing and a group of fortysomething women dancing and laughing. Later, we found a tall table in the midst of the crowd and set our drinks down.

“Damn, I forgot how terrible of a dancer I was,” I said, grinning.

“You were fine!”

“We were only dancing for, what, ten minutes? And already I felt like an idiot.”

“It doesn’t matter, Zane. If you’re having fun dancing, then you’re doing it right. That’s all that matters.”

“God, I missed that positive attitude over the past week,” I said.

Sebastian shook his head. “I honestly can’t believe you missed me. I… missed you too.”

“You really did? I thought you were plenty sick of me after the camping trip.”

Sebastian swallowed, looking down at the table. He looked sad again or maybe just lost in thought.

“What’s wrong?” I asked after a long pause.

He shook his head, still not meeting my eyes. “Zane, it’s just….”

“I’m sorry,” I said, waving a hand. “God, I’m a moron. You don’t have to answer that. I know seeing David was hard for you.”

Finally his eyes shot up. “Oh, that? It’s not that,” he said, shaking his head.

“No?”

“No way. I just… I felt so fucking bad after the camping trip,” he said, like he was finally letting loose thoughts that had been stuck inside him. “I didn’t want to… force you into being friendly with me more than you have to. I know I’m just a groomsman in the party, and it was so clear I made you uncomfortable in the tent. Things… things went too far, I guess.”

I put my head in my hands. “Fuck,” I muttered, scrubbing my palms across my face. I was afraid of this. I was afraid that he would bring up the trip, afraid that he’d think he somehow did something wrong. “Sebastian, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything, Zane,” he said softly. “I know I’m a lot sometimes, but I can take a hint. I was afraid of talking more to you because… well, I guess I wanted to spare you from having to reject me. But you don’t have to do it. I won’t bring it up again.”

I looked at him, furrowing my brow. “Why do you keep putting words in my mouth that aren’t there?”

He blinked at me, clearly caught off guard.

“I never said anything like that. I never wanted to… to reject you.”

He looked across the room, and then back at me. “But you said we shouldn’t. And things went too far, and….”

The morning at the campsite flashed through my mind again. His lips. His touch. His warmth against me.

“At that moment, it was more than I was ready for, yes,” I said, trailing my finger through the condensation on my glass. “It was so much. And I freaked out a little, yes. But that doesn’t mean I wanted you to disappear from my life.”

My words hung in the air, and he kept quiet as he watched me.

“Sebastian, I was… I still am… just scared,” I said. It was the truth, and as soon as I’d said the word—scared—I began to feel a weight lifting from me.

Because I was scared. I’d been scared ever since Michael had left—hell, since long before he’d ever left. Scared that I was unlovable, scared that there was no one in the world that I might be compatible with. It had been years since I’d seen anyone but Michael in that way.

Sebastian’s gaze had softened, but he still watched me like he was worried I’d break if he said a single word.

“I am scared,” I repeated. “I haven’t… done anything like that in so long. And it wasn’t just the physical closeness, Sebastian, Jesus—I felt something that morning that I didn’t think I was capable of anymore. It kind of shattered me right through. I’ve… I’ve thought about that morning every single day this week.”

“You have?” he said, his voice so low I could barely hear it over the din of the crowd. Suddenly it felt like the texture of the room had changed, like instead of being in a chaotic bar, we were in a bubble, just the two of us, discussing things that no one else knew.

I nodded slowly, watching him. “Yes. I did. It’s been hard to think of anything else, honestly.” It felt like my insides were slowly winding up again, like the freedom of telling him the truth was now snowballing, picking up speed and threatening to make me pour my heart out more than was advisable. “Do you know how long it’s been, Sebastian? Do you know how long I’ve thought I’d never kiss anyone again other than him?”

Sebastian swallowed, his eyes still wide. “It was overwhelming for me, too.”

“It was too fucking much,” I said.

He nodded. He looked so beautiful that I found it hard to keep my eyes on him. Those lips, his perfect cheekbones, that hair that I knew was soft as silk… I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t formulate my thoughts, and I didn’t know if it was because of the damned angel standing next to me or because of the alcohol. I looked away, off into the crowd, willing my brain to keep working.

“But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. Or that I didn’t like you. But…. God, fuck.”

He paused for a beat. “But what? What is it?” His eyes on me were so intense—more than I’d ever seen them, maybe even more electric than they had been that morning.

“But I know I’m damaged goods,” I said, shrugging. “And you’re young and beautiful, and you could get any guy you want and—”

“Oh, for God’s sake—”

Sebastian moved so quickly and gracefully that at first I didn’t even see it coming. He made his way around the table and was at my side in an instant, one hand gripped against my forearm and the other cupping the side of my cheek. It was a shockingly intimate moment, especially at the center of the raucous crowd, but Sebastian didn’t seem to be aware of anything but me.

He was so close, and nothing like it had been while we’d played pinball. This time he was facing me, dead on, with intention. No one could see us and mistake us for just good friends.

“You said you weren’t ready,” he said, his gaze unwavering. “Zane… are you ready now? Tell me you don’t want me. Just say it.”

I drew in a sharp breath, the sensation of falling on a roller coaster coursing through my entire body.

I shook my head, so softly I didn’t know if he could even register it. “I can’t say that, Sebastian,” I replied.

I couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him I didn’t want him.

Not when he was this close, not when he was holding me in his hands. I wanted those hands everywhere. I wanted that same feeling I’d gotten in the tent that morning—the knowledge that I was special to someone again. That maybe I was more special to him than I had been to anyone in years.

Sebastian’s hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, his fingers lacing into my hair.

He moved in close, hesitating for only the smallest moment before pressing his lips to mine. I tasted the faint lime and mint on his mouth and smelled that same comforting scent that I remembered from the camping trip. The one that made me feel like I belonged.

And at that moment, I couldn’t have cared if we were in a crowded bar, a tent, or in the middle of fucking outer space. There was nothing I needed more than his kiss. He was slow and soft, but still insistent, kissing me like he wanted to put to rest every doubt I’d had in my head.

And Jesus, it was finally actually working. I moaned as he deepened the kiss, and I knew it was only for him—the crowd was so loud around us that I didn’t have to hold back. Immediately the space between our bodies disappeared as I wrapped my arms around his hips, pulling him in as tight as I could against me. He fit against me like this, a puzzle piece locking into place.

It still wasn’t enough.

And it was way, way too much for this public space.

I broke off the kiss, leaning over near his ear. “God, I want you Sebastian—” I half whispered, half groaned into his ear. I felt his fingers tighten in my hair as he nodded in agreement. He ran his fingers down my back before releasing me, moving back, putting distance between us again.

No one around us seemed to have even glanced our way.

Sebastian’s eyes were as lust-drunk as mine, though. He already looked like he’d just been fucked, and an alarming thought shot through me. If he looked this good now, how the hell did he actually look when he’d just come?

It was almost too much to think about.

I saw Sebastian scanning the crowd quickly as he finished his drink, and the echo of what Colby had said earlier flashed through my head.

He’d gotten us all private rooms for a reason. We were meant to have fun this weekend, after all.

Sebastian had asked me if I was ready. And I wanted to answer him in the only way I knew how.

The walk up to the bar earlier in the evening had been fraught with a flurry of anxiety.

The walk back down to my hotel room was a lust-drunk blur.

I wasn’t exactly sure if my body was capable of feeling anything anymore other than pure want. In the elevator down to our floor, another couple stood near us. They were classy, the woman in a cocktail dress and the guy in a nice suit, clearly nowhere near as intoxicated as either of us. It was a tight fit, and Sebastian was wedged in front of me while I was relegated to the back of the lift.

As we stood, the elevator seemingly crawling down in slow motion, I couldn’t keep my fingers from finding their way to Sebastian’s hipbone, gliding over him and giving a brief, tight squeeze. He leaned back a little into me, and I wondered if he could feel the outline of my cock pressing through my pants. It had been agonizingly hard from the moment he’d put his hands on me, out on the deck.

The elevator doors opened, and the couple stayed inside as we pushed past to exit. I led Sebastian down the hall toward my room, and the second we were out of eyeshot of the elevator, I gave up all pretense of remaining composed.

I pinned him up against the wall, my hips against his as I laced my fingers in between his. He pulled in a short gasp, and immediately his hands wrapped around my shoulders, tipping his head back, waiting for a kiss.

But I didn’t give it to him right away. I kept my eyes on him as I moved my hands slowly from his fingers up his arms until I reached his face. I brushed my thumb against his lower lip, and he parted his mouth for me. I could feel his breath, and when he darted his tongue out, just so slowly and softly, against my thumb, my cock throbbed.

From around the corner, a door slammed. Sebastian’s eyes widened, and he glanced in the direction, but I didn’t move an inch, instead slowly leaning down and kissing him even more deeply than we had on the roof. I kissed him like we had all the time in the world, like we weren’t in the middle of a damn hotel hallway, like nothing mattered but him.

He whimpered a little into my mouth as my tongue slid against his, and I felt his hips rock forward against me. I pushed forward, pinning him tighter against the wall as I pulled back from the kiss.

“The door… someone’s coming,” he whispered. His cheeks were fully flushed now, and I could see him more clearly in the light of the hallway than I had been able to out on the roof. A peal of laughter came from around the corner, closer this time. I felt Sebastian tense underneath me. I leaned down once more, gently taking his lower lip between my teeth for a moment.

He moaned louder. Loud enough that whoever it was probably heard this time.

I pulled back all the way, releasing him, raking my hands through my hair. I took his hand in mine, pulling him again down the hall, and a moment later, three women emerged from around the corner, laughing and speaking in hushed voices.

“Hey!” the tall, blonde one said, waving at us from down the hall. “Do you guys know where the ice machine is?”

“Leave them alone,” another girl said, waving a hand. “It’s okay. We’ll just ask at the front desk.”

“It’s down the hall, all the way, on the left,” I said. Earlier, I had downed two glasses of ice-cold water in an attempt to calm myself before going down to dinner.

“Thank you!” they chimed in unison as they passed by us. My hand was still clasped in Sebastian’s, and we were a few paces away from my room.

“I know, right?” I heard one of the girls saying from behind us as they continued down the hall. “They were like, the cutest couple ever.”

“Adorable,” I heard the other one responding. Their voices receded, but I swore—I swore I heard it as they walked away—one of the girls said something that made my world spin.

“…like, God, I hope I find love like that someday.”

I had no idea if Sebastian had heard it too. I didn’t acknowledge the comment as I approached my hotel door, rummaging in my pocket for the room key. But I held that comment in my heart like a precious blessing.

It didn’t matter if it was true or not. It didn’t matter that the girls had seen us and thought we were a couple, thought we were something that we weren’t.

They thought we looked like we were in love.

My fingers fumbled slightly as I slid the key into the lock. The light flashed red, and when I tried it again, the same error happened.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath and realized that my hand was shaking slightly. The card promptly fell out of my hand and on the floor.

I took a deep breath, glancing back at Sebastian and seeing that he was smiling at me serenely, just watching, waiting. I picked up the key, and when I turned back to the door and slid it in, I felt his hands wrapping around my waist from behind.

The lock finally flashed green. I pressed inside, expecting him to release me, but he didn’t move an inch. If anything, he got closer to me as we walked in, and when the door latched shut behind us, he was the one that pressed me up against the wall inside the hotel room.

And it was like the tables had flipped entirely. He was leading me, now, far from the blushing, gasping way he’d been acting in the hall. As he pinned me to the wall, his deft hands were already at the buttons of my shirt, methodically undoing every single one and kissing the skin that he exposed.

When he’d finally gotten my shirt open, he confidently slid his hands around me, leaning up to catch me in a kiss. It seemed like it should have been nothing different than the kisses we had shared before, but this small change—his hands on my hot, bare skin instead of through my shirt—was a tectonic shift. My heart was slamming in my chest, and I swore he must have been able to feel it as his hands roamed across my chest and to my back.

My cock strained so hard under my pants that it almost hurt. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been so singularly focused, so consumed by someone else, and yet felt so safe and comfortable at the same time.

Because I really felt like I belonged here. Belonged under his hands, like he accepted every part of me and unquestioningly wanted me. He left little doubt, squeezing against me and making his occasional indelicate moaning sounds. Those sounds that felt like they might fucking undo me every single time.

It was exactly the kind of belonging that could make someone think we were in love.

I tilted his head back in my hands, and he exposed his neck for me as if he wanted me to take whatever I needed. I kissed slowly along his neck, holding him close, feeling as he rocked against me, knowing now that he wanted this just as much as I did.

And when I finally pulled off his shirt, pressing him tight against me, he let out another long moan. His skin was against mine, and I dragged my hand up his thigh through his pants, landing on his ass and giving him a tight squeeze as I pressed my cock against his.

“Oh, God, Zane, I fucking need you,” he breathed as if he was confessing something.

His words made my blood feel hot. When was the last time I had felt needed? Maybe never.

And then my hands were shaking again. I steadied them by picking Sebastian up, holding him tight against me, and bringing him over to the big bed at the other side of the room. Colby really had splurged on us. This was the nicest hotel room I’d ever been in, a set of floor-to-ceiling windows letting in all the ambient light from the night outside. It was the only thing lighting the room, but it was more than enough to see every detail of Sebastian as I laid him down on my bed. His eyes were alight in a way that I’d never seen before, fixated on me.

I wanted to freeze the moment in time forever. A huge portion of my brain couldn’t even believe that this was an experience I had access to. It certainly wasn’t something I thought would be happening tonight.

But now it felt like nothing else could have happened tonight. There was no other world for me other than this one, right here, with Sebastian.

He must have been able to sense that I’d been lost in thought and overwhelmed for a second. He was smiling up at me, lying underneath me, just watching.

“You all right, there?” he asked, his voice soft. He brought a hand up to my chest, lightly running his fingers along me.

“I’m more than all right,” I replied. “It’s just… I just… I want so much. I don’t even know where to start.”

He laughed, squeezing tighter against the side of my body. He nodded once. “Here,” he said, taking me in his hands and turning our positions so that he was straddling me on top of the bed. All at once I didn’t feel lost anymore—instead I felt anchored, with his body weight on top of me, this beautiful creature having his way with me.

He started to press little kisses against my chest as his hands explored near my waistband. I was startled when in between his kisses, he spoke.

“Zane,” he murmured, kissing around my nipple.

“Y—yeah?” I said, sharply intaking a breath as he flicked his tongue across me.

“Do you know how much I’ve wanted this?” he asked, kissing lower, toward my stomach.

My heart pounded in my chest as I stared down at him, watching him work. “You have?”

“So much,” he said. “So fucking much.” He was kissing along my hipbone now, so close to the waist of my pants that it made me shiver.

How? my brain repeated in my head, over and over. I didn’t know how he had wanted me. I’d been nothing but gruff and difficult, ever since I’d come into Sebastian’s life. But still, I believed him. I could tell with every kiss. I could tell by the look in his eyes when he gazed up at me, his hands slowly starting to unbutton my pants.

“That’s it, right there,” he whispered, pausing for a moment to skate one hand up my chest as he looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“That look. The one you’re giving me now. You see me like no one else does, Zane. From the minute we met.”

And despite everything insecure inside me that wanted to knee-jerk disagree, that wanted to say No, Sebastian, I’m not that special, I somehow knew he was right.

Because I had felt it too. That connection from the moment we’d met, something shared between us that was unexplainable but so incredibly real.

“You… you felt it too?” I asked.

“Of course I did.”

“Oh, Sebastian….” I said, reaching down to rake my hand through his hair. He leaned into my touch, turning his head to press a kiss to the soft skin of my wrist before he turned to focus on my pants again.

Methodically, he unbuttoned them, and soon he was sliding them off of me, leaving me bare other than my boxer briefs. There were no secrets now. I was hard, straining against my underwear, and his eyes were on me. He pressed a finger to the wet spot that had collected at the tip of my cock, soaking through the cloth, and I bit my bottom lip.

“I love this,” he said, smiling lightly.

“Embarrassing,” I said, a slight grin on my face.

“No,” he said, shaking his head as he pressed the tip of his finger against me. “Wonderful.”

And when he finally leaned down, pressing his lips to my cock through the fabric, there came a sharp knock at the door.

I jumped in place, and Sebastian’s eyes shot back up to mine. His palm still rested on my cock as we exchanged a glance.

“Zane!” came a voice from outside the door. “Zane, are you in there?”

“It’s Tony,” I whispered down to Sebastian.

“Dude, you’ve gotta come upstairs,” Tony was saying outside. He let out a long laugh, and it became clear how drunk he must be. “You would not believe it. We found the hot tubs—yes, hot tubs, plural, man—and it is like a goddamn spa up there. You’re gonna love it. Buddy, you there?” He knocked again.

Sebastian and I exchanged a smile, and Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“I’m—I’m going to sleep,” I shouted toward the door. “Sorry, Tony.”

Sebastian’s hand had resumed stroking against my cock through the cloth, slowly but firmly dragging up and down, over and over, along my length. My cock bobbed in response, and I watched Sebastian so closely.

“Are you kidding me?” came Tony’s voice from outside. “Lame. You gotta come out, man! You got nothing better to do but sleep?”

I suppressed a moan as Sebastian lowered down again, pressing a hot kiss to my tip. “Uh—no, Tony, I—” I breathed out slowly, watching as Sebastian’s fingers hooked into my waistband slowly. He seemed to care very little about the fact that Tony was outside, stopping for nothing.

“C’mon, man. Bachelor weekend!” Tony was saying. “You never know who you could meet! Instead of being all alone in there like a sad sack, you could end up doing something fun tonight!”

In one swift motion, Sebastian pulled off my last remaining clothing, casting it aside. My cock sprang out, harder than it had been in recent memory, just below him.

And then he leaned down, pressing those perfect, soft lips to my slick tip.

“Oh, God,” I uttered, completely unable to control myself.

“Don’t ‘oh, God’ me,” Tony said from outside. “That’s not the right attitude!”

Sebastian was being diabolical. He lifted his gaze up to my eyes as he slipped his tongue across my tip for the first time, giving one hard suck as he watched me squirm.

I leaned my head back, breathing deep, trying to remain composed. “Good night, Tony. I will see you tomorrow,” I said, firmly and with finality as Sebastian’s tongue danced across my cock.

“Fine,” I heard Tony say. “Your loss, dude!” His footsteps receded down the hallway just in time for me to look down and see Sebastian taking the whole length of my cock inside his mouth, all at once.

“Oh fuck,” I said, in a tone that could only imply I was losing control. Tony hadn’t left a minute too soon because as Sebastian kept working his mouth along my cock, it was completely impossible to keep quiet.

I felt Sebastian’s low laugh around my cock.

“You’re out of your mind,” I said, looking down at him, breathing deep.

He slowly pulled his mouth up around my cock, dragging his tongue slow and steady as he released me. “As if you didn’t just enjoy that as much as I did.”

I let out a long breath as I watched him sink back down over me, my cock disappearing inside his mouth again. “I—I enjoyed it—oh God, Sebastian, you are good at that.”

He hummed around me again as I brought my hand down to his head, raking my fingers through his hair as he went down on me.

Finally it was just us. Seeing Sebastian down between my legs was like a gift I never thought I’d receive. I certainly didn’t feel like I deserved any of this, the softness of his hair brushing against the inside of my thigh as he worked. One of his hands found its way to the base of my cock, tight and steady, while the other roamed along my thigh, reaching around to squeeze my ass.

But the thing that surprised me the most was the care he was taking. This didn’t feel like a furtive hotel blow job, something exchanged simply for the sex itself. It didn’t feel like a means to an end or something he just felt obligated to do.

Instead it felt like he wanted to give me something. Wanted to make me feel like I deserved this, like somehow I’d done something right.

“Jesus, Sebastian, it’s too good—” I uttered, looking down at him.

He hummed around me again as if all I was doing was encouraging him. He quickened his pace, taking me deep, like his sole purpose in life right then was to make me come.

And Lord, was it working. I knew I was done for. I let out a long moan as I arched my back slightly, allowing him to take all of me inside his mouth.

“Fuck—fuck—I’m gonna come,” I said quickly.

He glanced up at me, and that look—more than his mouth, more than anything—was what pushed me to the brink.

Because there was everything in that look. His eyes told me that he accepted me. They told me that he wanted this as much as I did, that there was nothing in the world I had to be afraid of or holding back in this moment. And they told me, beyond a doubt, that he wanted me to come, right then, inside him.

So I let go. I felt myself losing control as he worked around me, unwavering, not missing a beat. As I came, I gripped hard against him, as if he might disappear if I didn’t. There was still a part of me that felt like this was a dream, that in a minute I might wake up alone wishing to God that he was still near me, that this moment could last forever.

But as I came, he was still there, and I gave him everything. Even after I had finished, squeezing my eyes shut and catching my breath, trying to make any bit of sense out of what had just happened, he remained by my side. He pulled off my cock as I was falling back down to Earth, and then just lay near me, lightly trailing his hand across my chest.

His other hand reached down to grab mine, and I realized then that my body was still twitching a little bit all over.

His touch steadied me.

He was still there.

And when I finally opened my eyes again, he was gazing up at me softly, giving me a small smile as our eyes met. He leaned over, pressing a kiss to my chest.

“God, I have wanted to do that to you,” he said.

I shook my head slightly, looking down at him. “You’re amazing, Sebastian.”

He laughed.

“I mean that,” I said. “I’m not just… talking about your skills with your tongue, either.”

Even though it definitely hadn’t been my intention, that made him laugh, too. I brought a hand up, scrubbing my face with my palm. Jesus, was I ever putting my foot in my mouth.

“You know what I mean,” I said. “But I… I don’t know how to say this without it seeming too…” I trailed off, my chest clenching.

I had no idea how to explain the overwhelming array of emotions that had come over me in the past hour with Sebastian. It was too intense. And I knew that if I said what I really was feeling, it would probably seem too intense to him, too.

What was I supposed to say? Sebastian, I felt more special tonight here with you than I did in all the years of my last relationship? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the offhand comment a stranger made about us seeming like we were in love?

He’d probably run far and fast from me if I gave him an inkling of these thoughts, and he would be right to. For God’s sake, I’d only met Sebastian two weeks ago, even though it felt like it had been months. Time had seemed to expand during my time in Ellisville, like I’d entered some other dimension where I could be a different version of myself.

“Fuck,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s just too much.”

He shifted so that he was no longer so close at my side, and I realized his eyes were studying me.

“Oh,” he said as if he’d just had a realization. “I… I get it, Zane. You don’t owe me anything, if that’s what you mean. I am perfectly happy to just blow you—I definitely don’t expect anything from you—”

“No, no, no, no,” I said, reaching over to grab his hand again. “Good God, that isn’t what I meant at all. As long as you want it, there’s no way you’re getting out of this hotel room before I make you come tonight.”

His eyes lit up again, and I saw him relax a little. After being in the dim room so long, my eyes had completely adjusted, and in the moonlight, I could practically see every detail of Sebastian’s face.

I could look at him forever.

“I just don’t know how to tell you... how much this means to me,” I said. “I haven’t… done something like this in a long time. And I know it sounds so fucking cheesy and trite, but—”

“It doesn’t,” he replied. “It doesn’t at all. It kinda sounds like exactly how I feel, to be honest.”

My heart squeezed in my chest as I pulled Sebastian close again, and he climbed over so that he was practically on top of me.

“Kiss me,” I said, reaching to pull his head toward mine. And then his lips were on me again, and if anything it felt even better than it had before I came.

And I swore I felt a twinge in my cock, even though I was completely spent at that point. Being so close to him lit me up like a damn Christmas tree. I kissed him deeply, keeping him as close as I could.

Right then, nothing felt more real to me than this. I felt like I could live off of this closeness forever, that if I could just stay here, with him, everything might be okay.

Dimly, I knew it was unrealistic. I knew that tomorrow, I’d have to deal with reality and consequences and the future. But right now nothing meant more to me than making Sebastian feel as good as he had made me feel.