chapter Twenty-One
Running Away
Lorenzo
Two months later…
Me and my big mouth were at it again. I had damaged our relationship so severely that Victoria withdrew from everything. I thought I was doing the right thing that night.
I watched her that whole day in pain behind what my lies had done. From the time she sent me that text that morning, telling me she was sad that her mother was not with her, I knew. I knew I was going to have to make a decision about telling her the truth.
As the day went on and I continued to watch her hurt, I knew I needed to do something. It was killing me to know I’d hurt her and she didn’t know it was me.
I thought I could fix it with the truth. I thought it would work out. She had agreed to marry me and was so happy. I was so happy.
Victoria was wearing my ring. I had spent hours with Venny and my dad, trying to pick the perfect ring. It was their idea for me to propose at the party.
I probably would’ve fought them on that decision, but Victoria and I were so close at that point. I was more than happy to do as they asked.
Victoria was becoming my best friend. We talked about everything together. She had even helped me pick a school.
Until the birthday party, we were inseparable. The day we shopped for the ring was only possible without her knowing because Maria had taken her to the spa for the party. Victoria is like a girl version of Chris with a few extras.
It was like hanging out with myself. We’d become something more than I thought possible in such a short time. Now it’s like we don’t even know each other.
Time has gone passed. Victoria pretends all is well when others are watching, but when we’re alone, she doesn’t even speak to me. I’d go to her house and she’d hug me when her father was watching, only to drop her hold as soon as he turned away. It would eat me up to have her touch me and be so not there, so empty.
Chris would complain to me that Angie was upset because Victoria wasn’t answering phone calls and didn’t want company at home. Angie would show up and Victoria would disappear out of the house or get lost somewhere in it. Chris said that Angie cried half the time they spent together.
He started bringing Angie to my house, hoping she could catch Victoria there. When Angie asked me what happened, I told her Victoria was tired of the drama with her family. Too many things were out of place and it was too much for her.
Victoria missed the simple things that were consistent in life. She needed time to heal. This was only a small part of the truth.
The truth was that I’d broken her heart. I had lost her trust by trying to gain it. I’d seen the real damage in what I told her.
The fact that she had cried to me about everything, while I could’ve told her the truth in the beginning. I could have told her before she was so in love with me and dependent on our relationship. All I could do now was give her time and hope that she would forgive me.
I’d decided to go to college in New York before the shit hit the fan. Once things fell apart, I decided to get an apartment in the city. My father didn’t seem to think anything was wrong with that.
As far as he knew, Victoria and I were still madly in love. She would appear at my house, but spend all her time with Lucie, while I sat in the room watching them or the TV.
Or she would spend hours on the track, while I hung out in the garage tuning my cars. I would still pick Toni up for weekends at my house. That was the happiest I’d seen her these days, the times when Toni was around.
So, I started to pick him up during the week too. However, the last few weeks, I haven’t been able to get to Toni. Venny said he had other things for him to do. So, Victoria has been extra distant and detached.
We put on the best show we could for my graduation party. When she couldn’t take it anymore, we made up an excuse that she wasn’t feeling well and she went home. We would lie about dates we never went on. It was the one thing we managed to do together, lie. That was quite ironic.
I know Victoria only went along with the charade because she knew how serious my father was about killing me if I messed things up between us. She still cared enough to keep me alive. Not to mention she understood what the arrangement meant to both families.
I believe Victoria felt like she had to make sure she did her duty. She still wore the ring I gave her. Although, I caught her with it off a few times at her house.
I needed the breather my new apartment was providing from it all. The pain of losing Victoria wasn’t getting easier, seeing her so much, but not being able to be with her was only throwing flames on top of the burn.
It was my first night in my new apartment. I was unpacking some things my mother bought for the place. I was relieved to not have her hovering. My mother could sense something wasn’t right, but couldn’t put her finger on it.
She had been trying to get Victoria to come over more and do more things with our family. That hadn’t been helping the situation at all.
I had just emptied the last box of cookware when my phone rang. I picked it up and was surprised to see Victoria’s number. We never talk, only text. I wasn’t sure what to think at first.
I was annoyed because I thought I would be able to get away from the drama here. Then, I was a little excited because she was calling not texting. Maybe we would have some sort of breakthrough to at least be friends. I answered the phone before she hung up.
“Hello.”
I heard nothing, but her crying. I was aghast, panic ran through me. I wanted to be next to her more than ever. I started to say her name, but she spoke.
“Lorenzo …I’m sorry I didn’t know who else to call.”
“Victoria, what’s wrong?”
“It’s …It’s my mother.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know, my father won’t tell me everything. She is in the hospital and she doesn’t look so great.”
“Where’s Toni?”
“He’s at the house with Maria. I forgot you were moving today. I went to your house to see you, but your mother told me you were gone.”
“I’ll come home.”
“No, you don’t have to. I’m sort of…in the city. I didn’t know where to go. I just started to drive. I can’t believe my father is being like this.” She broke into more sobs.
“Victoria, are you driving now? I want to give you my address.”
“No, wait, let me get a pen,” I heard her fumbling for the pen. “I can’t find a pen, can you text it to me?”
“Okay, don’t hang up.” I hurried to text the address to her and get back on the phone. “Hello.”
“Yeah, I just got it. Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to bother you. I know things are a little weird between us.”
“No, it’s fine. I want you to come, please. I don’t think you should be roaming around like this.”
“Okay, I’ll call you when I’m outside.”
“Okay, be careful.”
I hung up the phone and placed it on the table. I just stared at it, thinking and waiting for it to ring. I had so much going on in my head.
Twenty minutes went by and Victoria still hadn’t called. Was she okay? Did she change her mind? I thought about calling her, but I didn’t want to distract her.
After a few more minutes, I picked up the phone deciding I would call. At the same time, my doorbell rang. I went to the door, as I dialed her number. I heard her phone ringing on the other side of the door.
I hung up the phone and opened the door. Victoria ran in, wrapping her arms around me, soaking my bare chest with her tears. I was so focused on the phone, I’d forgotten I wasn’t wearing shoes or a shirt.
I closed the door and rubbed her hair to calm her down. She was shaking so badly. I was afraid she was going to have a panic attack.
I wrapped both my arms around her and rocked her slowly. She began to calm down a little with the motion. I started to guide her over to the couch, but she stopped and looked up at me.
“If I ask you to do something for me will you just do it,” she said.
I looked at her puzzled, searching her face to see what she was after. I looked in her eyes and saw the girl I loved, not just the empty shell that had replaced her. Not the broken pieces I had left. I wanted nothing but to stop the pain.
“For you, anything. You know that,” I answered.
“I want to stay with you, just for tonight. Until I figure out where I’m going. I don’t have any place else I can go.”
“Victoria, why can’t you go home? What do you mean until you figure out someplace to go?”
“I don’t want to be there. I need to get away. I’m leaving.”
“Leaving,” I repeated after her.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I never thought of her leaving. I always assume she would be there when I returned. “Maybe you should calm down a bit. Of course, you can stay. We can discuss what to do in the morning. You can have my bed. I’ll sleep out here.”
“If I stay, you stay with me,” she said, as she shook her head.
I didn’t know what to say to that. Where was this coming from? She was an ice queen for weeks and now here she was, asking to stay with me and wanting me to sleep with her.
“Victoria, I don’t understand what’s going on. How does running away help and how will me sleeping with you help?”
She smiled a weak smile. “I want you to stay with me to hold me. You always make me feel safe. I really need that right now.
“I’m scared. I want to leave because if I lose my mother, I’ve lost everything. Her, you …I don’t want to be where you two aren’t, with all the reminders left behind.” She paused, looked at the floor and shrugged.
I’ve never seen or heard Victoria scared of anything. The hairs on my neck where up. I wanted to know what was really going on.
I was confused, stunned, and amazed all at once. I stared at her for a long time, not knowing what to say. Did she just tell me she wanted to be with me or was I reaching? I wanted her to stay, so I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I thought carefully.
“You never lost me, Victoria. You can stay with me tonight. I’ll help you figure this out in the morning. Did you eat?”
She shook her head, no. “I don’t want to.” She looked around the room. “Did I interrupt you? Were you unpacking?”
I looked at the boxes and shrugged. “I was done for the night. I was just going to see if I could find something to watch or read,” I said nonchalantly.
“Will you give me a tour?” she sniffled.
I smiled and took her by the hand. We were standing in my contemporary apartment. The door she’d come through was a huge selling point for me.
It was a huge metal door, holstered in leather and studs, on the inside. It reminded me of some of the chairs at home in my parent’s house. We were standing in the little entryway that was opened to the living room.
My bare feet felt at home on the mahogany hardwood floors. We moved forward into the living room with my brand new black leather sofa, metal and glass coffee table, and a huge flat screen.
The surround sound system I bought, was still in the box. I had planned to get to that later tonight. I held my hand out.
“This is the living room,” I told her, while glancing at her expression.
We move passed the living room to my small dining room that sat just off the large kitchen. The mahogany floors carried through the dining room, into the kitchen. A matching mahogany island anchored the kitchen, accompanied by contracting grey cabinets. All the appliances were brand new and stainless steel.
I pointed my hand out toward the dining room and kitchen. “And here is the lovely dining room, with my brilliant new glass table, and this is my brand-new kitchen, with all the upgrades.” I walked her through the kitchen, so she could get a good look.
“Lorenzo, can you even cook?” she turned to me and asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I do well enough.” I smiled at the skeptically look she gave me.
She laughed a little, it was nice to hear. Next, I took her up the hall to show her my laundry area and the first of my bathrooms. We were off to the next part of the apartment that sold me on this place.
We entered the wood and frosted glass door that led into my bedroom.
The first thing to see was a king-sized leather sleigh bed, flanked by two ebony wood end tables. My mother had light blue drapes made to cover the large doors that lead to the terrace. The bed was dressed in matching blue linens.
“This, my friend, is my bedroom. If you follow me, I’ll show you the view from my terrace.”
I was content with how comfortable Victoria looked now. I walked her to the doors and opened them for her to walk out. We had an awesome view of all the skyscrapers and the beautiful city. I thought the fresh air would be good for her.
However, Victoria only had on a light sleeveless, t-shirt, a long cotton skirt that stopped at her ankles, and a pair of sandals. Even this long skirt couldn’t hide her curves. It seemed to complement them in a soft way.
We stood looking at the view for a while. It was the simple stolen moment in time. Our past, nor our future mattered. We just were. I noticed her shiver a few times.
“We can go back inside if you’re cold,” I offered.
Victoria just shook her head, and came to nestle herself in my bare chest. The air was nice to me. I had been worked up from her call.
I could feel her tears on my skin again. That’s when I felt her shaking gently against me. I pulled her tightly into my arms.
We stood like that for almost an hour in silence. It was only when I realized that she was shivering a little too much, that I decided we should go inside.
“Hey, lets go inside. I can find you something to sleep in,” I told her.
She nodded in agreement and we went inside. I closed the doors and walked into my closet. I found a t-shirt and a pair of brand new boxers.
I stepped out of the closet to see Victoria sitting on the edge of the bed. I walked over to her and handed her the clothes. I nodded my head to the other side of the room.
“The bathroom is over there.”
While she was in the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to grab two waters and some fruit from a platter my mother had left. I decided to text Venny to tell him Victoria was fine, she was with me. Venny returned the message, thanking me.
I returned to the bedroom to find Victoria curled up on the left side of the bed. I put the food and water on her end table beside her. I then headed into the bathroom to put on a pair of pajama pants.
When I returned, she was still in the same position. I walked over to the bed, climbing in next to her. I wasn’t sure if I should at first, but I decided to move closer to her and wrapped my arms around her.
Victoria moved into my arms, turning to me, to place her face in my neck. We just laid there for a while. I thought she had gone to sleep at first.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome,” I replied as I rubbed her back.
Pulling back to see my face, she spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Did you leave because of me?”
I wanted to answer any question, but this one. I knew the answer would hurt. “Yes and no, I needed a break.” I tried to keep my tone even, so she wouldn’t read more into what I was saying.
“A break from me or a break from everything?” she asked.
“Everything, I don’t feel like pretending anymore. I just want to relax, not wondering if I’m being watched. Not having to put on a show.”
I was as honest as possible. This was the most we have talked in a month. I wanted to be transparent. Victoria is more mature than people give her credit for.
“Oh, do you think you’ll go back?” She placed her hand on my back and started to absentmindedly rub it. The gesture made all the feelings I was trying to ignore surface.
“Not if you’re gone.”
She paused. “You know it hurts to always be so close to you, but still so far. Does that make sense?” she questioned.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s why I left … I still love you, but it doesn’t seem like that’s enough to fix things.”
I knew exactly what she meant. That was how I felt all the time. I was so close to her yet so far.
She reached to run her hand through my hair before returning to caressing my back, once again. “I don’t know what happened. I was so mad at you and now I don’t even know why.” She paused to think for a second.
“I mean I know what you did and I think I understand why you did it now. It’s just, I wish … I wish we could start over.”
“That’s all I wanted.”
“Yeah, but that’s not so easy for me. I have a hard time trusting people now.” She released a long sigh and shrugged. “Coming here was hard for me. I just didn’t know where else to go. Angie isn’t like you, when it comes to things like this.”
“I didn’t mean for you to lose trust in me, but I’m glad you came to me.”
“I am too. Lorenzo, do you think you’ll find a girlfriend while you’re here?” she asked really slowly.
“I’m not looking for one,” I answered abruptly.
“Yeah, but if you met someone do think …you’ll -”
“No. I know who I want. If I can’t have her then I’m fine.” I failed at hiding my irritation with the thought of me being with someone else or her moving on to someone new. “Why? Are you thinking about dating?”
“No. I just wanted to know if … if you’re done waiting for me.”
“Victoria, I’d wait forever for you,” I reassured her.
“Lorenzo?”
“Yes.”
“I put the pieces together, are you ready to fight for me?”
My heart stopped, my mind raced, and I tried to figure out whether I was dreaming. I couldn’t speak, was she really here? Did she just say that?
I wasn’t sure what to do, what to say. I promised her I would wait until she was ready and I would fight for her. I told her I wouldn’t lose her and I meant it. Victoria started to tremble in my arms. I could tell she was crying again.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I have no right to do this. Maybe I should leave. I just thought…,” She half sobbed.
I lifted her face to mine and like I wanted to do for months, I kissed her. The passion that exploded between us was mind numbing. I hugged her tighter to me. It was like coming home after a long journey.
Her lips seemed the softest they’ve ever been. I didn’t want the kiss to ever end. Victoria’s nail dug into the back of my neck as I cupped the side of her face devouring her. I finally broke the kiss to reply to her.
“Yes, I’m ready to fight for you. Whatever it takes I’ll fight for you,” I whispered in her ear.
She placed a kiss to my neck. “I still love you, too.” I heard her voice break with the tears.
I wiped the tears from her face. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise. Get some sleep.” I held her close to me as we both drifted to sleep.