chapter Twenty-Nine
Growing Pains
Victoria
Maria and I spent the rest of the afternoon on the seating chart. Once Carlos arrived, we went straight to fitting my gown, before the men returned. It was the perfect distraction.
Carlos out did himself. I couldn’t have asked for more. The gown is just so beautiful. All of this became a reality as I looked back at myself in the dress I’d marry Lorenzo in. So many thoughts filled my mind.
After the fitting, I had plans of my own. I took a trip back down to the range to clear me head. Uncle Frankie had left some things behind for me to practice with. I figured this was the safest place in the house. I could definitely keep my promise.
I wanted to do more than keep my promise though. I wanted to help Lorenzo relax. That’s what it felt like he needed.
It felt like he needed to be reminded of who he is, who we are. All of this was too much at once. If I felt that way, I knew it had to be ten times as great for him.
Lorenzo always did what made me happy, but I wanted to do that for him. I was always crying and complaining to him, and he would fix my problems.
However, it seemed like I was the cause of all of his. I never do anything for him the way he does for me. He was somewhere now planning to save my life and I was here doing nothing.
I combed my brain trying to figure out what I could do to help him relax. What he did the other night was great. How could I do something like that for him? That’s when it hit me and I quickly cleaned up in the range and ran up to find Maria.
“Maria, do you think Sandra can help me?” I rushed as I found her in the hall.
She wrinkled her brow. “Help with what?”
I bit my lips, and shifted from foot to foot. “I was sort of thinking of surprising Lorenzo with a dinner for two. Do you think she’ll help?” I asked again.
Maria broke out into a smile. “Yous two are adorable. Of course, she’ll help,” she replied.
I knew Maria always buys candles from the spa we went to. I hesitated again before asking. “Do you have some candles I could borrow. I promise to replace them,” I pleaded.
“Oh, please. Come, we have so much to do,” Maria sang.
Maria dragged me to find Sandra, giving her a ton of instructions when we found her. I told them I wanted to do this all downstairs in the game room. Sandra’s face lit up as she offered a few suggestions.
After Sandra had all the details Maria dragged me upstairs, giving me a funny smile as she handed over a bunch of candled out of her stash. I started to fidget and blush as I took the offering. Maria burst into laughter.
“Yous two will be married in two weeks, Victoria. Things like this will keep your marriage interesting,” Maria winked.
“Sure, right,” I murmured and rushed off, leaving Maria laughing behind me.
I took the candles to my room and placed them all around, a couple on the end tables, my desk, and a few on the entertainment unit. I raced to the bathroom to shower and straighten my hair. I wasn’t sure how much time I had. I didn’t want to text Lorenzo if he was busy, so I moved extra fast, just in case.
I ran into the closet to search for something that I thought Lorenzo would like. I found a cute black strapless dress. It wasn’t too tight, but it fit just right.
The stretch fabric it was made of gave the room it needed to mold to my shape. I grabbed a pair of black stiletto wedge shoes that strapped around the ankle and rushed to put them on.
I checked the mirror. It was almost perfect, I thought to myself. I knew just what it needed. I took out the diamond tennis bracelet Lorenzo gave me for my birthday. I hadn’t touched it since my birthday. It was only a reminder of that day.
Satisfied with my outfit, I rushed to curl the tips of my hair. I knew Lorenzo loved my hair that way. I put on some pineapple lip-gloss, I had saved for a special occasion.
When I was finished, I went to the room door to see if I could hear their voices downstairs. The house was completely quiet. I find the softest music I could and queued up the stereo.
I fished through my movies for one I knew Lorenzo would like, placing it in the DVD player. Everything in the room was set. Finding some paper and a pen, I snatched up my purse. Lorenzo would know I’d kept to my promise. I rushed ran downstairs to the game room to see what all Sandra had done.
My plan has been to relive all the things that Lorenzo and I did together that made him happy. Things we did before the chaos started. It was my turn to do the right thing for Lorenzo. I needed him to feel like the man I knew he was. I would stop being a needy baby and spoiled brat for him to feel good for a change.
Sandra did a great job. She had a table set up for two, with a white tablecloth and candle sitting in the middle. I sat down quickly to write Lorenzo a little note. I tried to think of what to say to make him feel good.
Tonight, is about you. I’m offering to be your girlfriend. Text me your phone number, so I can call you and give you the directions to my heart.
Love,
Victoria
I called up to Sandra and asked her to come for the note. I needed her to give it to Lorenzo as soon as he came home. I gave her instructions on when to bring dinner once she came for the note.
Everything was set, now all I had to do was wait. I hoped it wouldn’t be too long. I went into the theater to watch TV, while I sat on pins and needles. They had been gone all day. I wondered what they were doing, but I tried not to think of that. I wasn’t going to ask, not tonight.
After about another hour, my phone buzzed. Lorenzo was home. I was surprised that I was so nervous. Sandra should be on her way down with dinner. I ran to light the candle, while I called Lorenzo. He picked up on the first ring.
“Heym Beautiful, what are you up to?” he crooned through the phone.
“Come find out. I’m downstairs in the game room. Tell Chris to go in the kitchen and raid the refrigerator. We don’t need him tonight,” I said in the seductive voice that always surprises me.
“I’m on my way. You do know I love you?”
“Of course, I love you too. Now, come see how much.”
Sandra had just finished up, as I hang up the phone. It would take Lorenzo long enough to get here for Sandra to be able to disappear. I stood in front of the table, waiting for him to arrive.
I tossed all of my hair over one shoulder, making sure my birthmark was exposed. Lorenzo thinks it’s cute, so I intended to show it off. I fixed my dress and held my hands behind my back, so he’d have an unobstructed view of the dress.
Lorenzo walked into the game room looking as handsome as when he left. One glance at him and I smirked, he did look like he belonged in their world. His black suit, black dress shirt, and shoes screamed, Boss.
It only took a second for his face to light up as he saw me. Checkmate. I hit the mark with the dress and the hair. He bit his lip, fighting a huge smile that was stretching across his face.
“Welcome, il mio amore,” I said. I decided tonight I would speak as much Italian as he could handle.
Lorenzo laughed a seductive laugh, as he stopped in front of me and reached for my hips. “Hey gorgeous, what’s all this about?”
“You,” I said, as I move towards him.
I took off his jacket, then removed the holster underneath. He just watched me with a smiled. I took the jacket and holster, placing them with my purse.
When I returned to where he stood, I could see him taking in every inch of my outfit. Lorenzo could no longer fight the smile, pushing at his lips. He reached for my chin, pulling my face to his.
Once the flavor of my pineapple lip-gloss touched his tongue, he let out a deep groan from the back of his throat. Lorenzo started to suck at my lower lip. Bingo. Lip-gloss a hit, Vicky. His hands went to my waist, pulling me against him.
“Mmm…. I missed you today,” he whispered. “I really missed.”
“I missed you too,” I purred back.
Lorenzo gave a horse, breathless laugh. I pulled away, not wanting dinner to get cold. I turned, pulling the chair out for him to sit. With a smirk, he obliged me. I moved to sit across from him.
“Go ahead, Baby, mangiare,” I said.
Lorenzo let out a small laugh, doing as I said. We both ate in silence. I wanted to give him time to savor the food and relax.
I only let my eyes and my body do the talking, which Lorenzo seemed to love. He watched my every move the entire time. I made sure to eat nice and slow. When Lorenzo finished, he sat back watching me as I did my best to hold his attention.
I took a sip of my water to wash the food down, before getting up to cross the table to him. I reached for his hand, tugging him from his seat. I wanted to take him over to our favorite game.
Lorenzo follow behind me as I led him across the room. I felt his hand slide slowly across my belly, just before he stopped me in my tracks. He brushed the hair from my ear to lean into it.
“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” he whispered.
“I’m helping you relax. Did I do something wrong?” I asked, confused.
“No…nothing wrong…I just don’t think you understand what you’re doing?” he rasped, huskier then I expected.
I stopped to think about his words. I wasn’t sure what I was missing. Lorenzo softly kissed my neck, distracting my thoughts. I wanted to understand what I’d done.
“Lo…no,” I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He chuckled a little. “Come here, let me show you,” he whispered, pulling my body up against his. I understood at once. I may have jumped away from him five months ago, but not now. I stood there trying to figure out what I’d done to make this happen.
“Oh, Lo, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. What did I do?” I asked shyly.
“It’s okay,” he laughed softly. “Where do I start? That sexy accent of yours. The way you were eating didn’t help, and this dress…Baby, that by itself is driving me insane.”
“Oh, Lorenzo, I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry, I just wanted to help.”
“I know, do me a favor. We can do whatever you want, but please go and change. Trust me, I know what I have. You don’t have to put it on display. Not yet, at least,” he whispered. “Your father already wants to cut my tongue out. He wouldn’t like what I want to do with that same tongue right now.”
“I’m sorry, Babe. I’ll be right back.”
I rushed out. I felt bad. Why don’t I understand things like that? I was so frustrated. As I made my way upstairs to change, I wanted to scream.
Lorenzo managed to pull the other night off without one problem. I couldn’t get this right to save my life. I rubbed my temples, trying to figure out how I got the stupid gene when it comes to boys.
Why didn’t I think about what I was wearing? This time, returning to the mirror, I could see what the problem was. I should have noticed earlier when I first looked.
Lorenzo was kind of right the other day. I did put on a little weight. Nothing out of control, but some things fit a little more snug in some places. It seemed like my waist got smaller, but everything else looked fuller. Honestly, in this dress and these shoe I looked like I’d planned on being the entertainment for Lorenzo’s bachelor party.
I was so upset, I almost tore the dress off. I stood in the middle of the closet trying to figure out what to put on that wouldn’t cause Lorenzo to want to pass out. At the same time, I tried to process all this.
I wanted to understand what I kept doing wrong. This wasn’t the first time I didn’t get that I was turning him on like that until it was too late. I didn’t do it on purpose.
I felt like such a baby. I mean, looking in the mirror, I look far from the way I acted. I felt like a girl trapped in a woman’s body. Lorenzo doesn’t deserve the way I didn’t understand this body.
He is so patient with me, but what if he were someone else. I would be in trouble because I never realize what I’m doing until it’s too late. I’m clueless.
I tossed on a black v-neck t-shirt and another pair of black slacks, while I stood thinking about what just happened. It really bothered me. I felt like I was hurting Lorenzo. I know we are less than two weeks from the wedding, but I still thought I should be more mature when it came to sex. Even more so, since I’m getting married.
I couldn’t help but think about my wedding night. I’m so afraid that if I don’t figure out what I keep missing, I’ll somehow mess the whole thing up. I’m terrified of my wedding night, truthfully.
Lorenzo has said a few times that I don’t realize what I’m doing. He says it’s natural to me. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I want to know. It sure seemed like a bad one, because things like this always happened.
Sometime, I think it’s because of Lorenzo. I’m so comfortable with him. I don’t think about it because he is like my best friend. Sometimes I just forget.
Like when I first moved in with Lorenzo. I would walk around the bedroom in my underwear. I thought nothing of it, it was just like I would do with Angie when she slept over.
Lorenzo would turn so red and leave the room after throwing clothes at me to put on. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just never thought about it.
Then there were the times when we would go out, Lorenzo would be upset at how guys would react to me. It would piss him off that I never realized the guy’s intentions. I always thought they were just being nice. He always had to point out to me what they were doing to piss him off and how they looked at me.
I’m always so willing to talk to anyone that’s nice to me. At least, that was until one time I went out with Angie to eat. The guys at the table next to us showed me exactly what Lorenzo meant.
They were nice the whole time we were sitting at our table. I spoke back to be polite, but when we went to leave, one of them stroked my hair and asked me for my phone number. He hadn’t tried to give me space or take no for an answer.
Well, he did give me space after I broke two of his fingers, but I had to go there. He started to call me names, like cock tease and snob. He reached out to touch me again and got what he desired. I hadn’t thought about that whole scene since. I wouldn’t dare tell Lo about it.
Lorenzo was right, it’s like I flirt and don’t realize it. I sat on the floor, rubbing my temples again. I meant to distract Lo tonight, not get him all riled up to disappoint him. I was deep in thought, when I heard Lorenzo in the bathroom calling my name. I’d forgotten I told him I would be right back.
“I’m in here, Lo,” I called quietly.
“Are you dressed?” he asked.
“Yeah, you can come in,” I wasn’t ready to move.
“Hey Vic, are you alright? Did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry,” he said anxiously, once he saw me sitting on the floor.
“No, Lo,” I sighed. “I just… I don’t understand how I can figure everything else out, but I can’t figure out how to be a good girlfriend or how not to do things like what just happened.”
Lorenzo looked down at me like I was crazy. He walked all the way into the closet and came to sit next to me. Tossing my hair over my shoulder, he reached for the back of my neck.
When he looked into my eyes, his eyebrows crease. Lo leaned in to kiss me. It was a real kiss, the kind that made me forget my name. After a few minutes, he pulled back with the same look on his face.
“Vic, I don’t remember you ever not being a good girlfriend. What happened downstairs is no big deal, Baby. I don’t want you to stop being the sexiest woman I know,” he breathed in my face, as he rubbed his nose against mine. “You do know, I love you? That’s why it’s so easy for you to turn me on.”
“Lorenzo, I feel like you’re saying that to make me feel better. I should know what I’m doing. Look at me, do I look like a girl that has no clue, but I don’t.”
“Baby, I like that you don’t know what you’re doing. That makes what you do even better. You think you have no clue, but trust me, my eyes and that poor fork downstairs know better,” he chuckled and kissed me.
“That’s not funny, Lo. I feel bad you’re being so patient, the least I could do is know when I’m making it hard for you.”
Lorenzo roared with laughter, falling back onto the floor. I thought about what I said and I giggled myself, throwing a playful pitch at his arm. He reached up, pulling me down into a hug.
“No, Lo, seriously, you know what I mean,” I said.
“Yeah, baby, I do, but you shouldn’t feel bad. Do you know how many guys would love to come home to what I did tonight? I consider myself very lucky.”
“I messed up the whole night,” I sighed. “This was supposed to be about you.”
“No, you didn’t. You are me, what’s about you is about me. Everything is about us. Besides, I needed this tonight. Thanks,” he said and kissed the top of my head.
“Then can I talk to you about something?” I asked.
“Sure, what’s on your mind, Beautiful?”
“You are. I want to make you happy and I’m afraid that the fact that I don’t get it sometimes is going to mess things up or frustrate you. I’m a little worried about our first time.”
“I did tell you that you worry too much, right?” he chuckled.
“Yes, but I can’t help it this time. This is important to me. I want you to be happy with me.”
“Baby,” he let out a long sigh and placed his hands on my sides, letting our bodies roll until he was lying over me. He gently pressed his lips to mine for a brief moment. “I could never be frustrated with you, not over that. All you need to do is trust me and the rest will be perfect.”
“I trust you. It’s me, I don’t trust,” I sighed.
“I trust you,” he whispered in my ear, before kissing me.
Breaking the kiss, I looked him in his eyes. “We’re getting married,” I whispered.
Lo chuckled and winked at me. “Yeah, baby. We are,” he breathed. “You know what I’m most excited about?”
“No, what?”
A big grin spread across his full lips. “I’m most excited to see you in my dress for the first time,” he beamed.
“Yeah, I can’t wait for you to see it,” I gushed.
We sat in the closet for hours talking and laughing. It felt like when we used to be on the phone all night. I told him everything I was thinking about and he listened. When I finished talking, he started.
We talked a little about the baby situation and why he didn’t want me to have babies right away. Lorenzo would be twenty-one the day of the wedding. He doesn’t think making me a mom so soon is a good idea.
“I want us to get a chance to be married for a little while,” he said.
“I don’t mind being a mom now. I want to start our family. I want a big family like my mom’s,” I shrugged. “Starting early would be a good thing, wouldn’t it.”
“We have time, Victoria,” he sighed. “I do hear what you’re saying. I’ll think about it. I want you to finish school no matter what.”
“I’m almost done,” I shrugged.
“Not just high school, college as well, Baby,” he kissed my forehead. “If we do decide to have babies, I’ll hire you help so it doesn’t interfere with school. For now, we’ll take it one thing at a time.”
I didn’t want to ruin the night so we never talked about what happen with my dad or where he went. I was sure he would tell me later. When Lo started to look tired, I got up to get his nightclothes.
I left for him to change. By the time, he was finished in the bathroom. I was dressed for bed and under the covers. I think Lorenzo fell asleep the minute his head hit the pillow.
He had told me to trust him and everything would be perfect. I did trust him, so I was sure it would be. Lorenzo had this everything would be fine.