She runs away from me, but not before I see the desire mixed with pain in her eyes. Not wasting a second, I dart after her, through the crowd, taking the same path as her. She reaches her car first, fumbling in her purse for her keys, but I get there before she finds them.

“Austyn,” I call out, but it’s like she’s made it her mission to find the keys and ignores me. Using my index finger, I place it under her chin and lift her head until our eyes connect. Fear radiates in them, yet her shoulders are straight, challenging me.

It’s something I love about Austyn—her strength that oozes out of her. Sometimes, I wonder if she even knows it’s there. She may have been knocked down, but she’s up and moving. That’s her.

“I can’t do this,” she says softly, looking at me like she can see right through me. Like she can see all the fuck-ups in my life and all the way down to the core of me. It’s how she’s always looked at me, and it scares the shit out of me. No one else has ever been able to do that or make me feel that burn.

She was only nine, I believe, when I joined the club at nineteen, but none of this started then. It wasn’t until around her sixteenth birthday when I, along with every other man on the planet, noticed her.

It was sick. It made me feel like the slimeball that is my father. I fought it, pushing it down. No matter how she looked at me, I kept it in the no-go zone and continued to do that for years. Then her getting hurt tweaked something inside me. Made me want and crave and desire in a way I never thought possible. Suddenly, all the things holding me back didn’t seem the same. Protecting and taking care of her suddenly became top priority.

Now, judging from her expression, she looks as if she’s closed that door on us. It’ll be my job to open it back up.

Thinking back to what Green said, work will need to be seriously done.

“We’re just talking, Austyn.”

“You just kissed me!” Fire breathes life into her, and her cheeks warm.

My cock instantly gets hard, and I have to will him down.

Reaching out, I grasp the side of her face, swiping my thumb over her bottom lip. Thoughts arise of what they will look like after my cock is deep inside them or when I’ve kissed her so much they’re swollen.

“Do it again in a heartbeat.” The truth flows from my lips. There is no other way with me. I say what I mean and mean what I say; that’s how it’s always been, and there is no reason to have qualms about that.

“That’s not just talking.”

She’s right, and if I don’t calm my shit, she’s going to leave and do it fast.

Taking a step back, I tell her, “You’re right. Let’s talk. No more lips involved.”

Her shoulders droop just enough to show me her disappointment, then rise again.

I love all her small tells. When she’s nervous, she picks at the skin around her thumb. When she’s excited, her little dimple that, if you don’t know it’s there, you’d miss it, makes its appearance. Needless to say, I may not have been going for her, but my eyes were watching. The reason I waited is still up in the air, because I have no fucking clue. I told myself it’s because of my past. Only, the more I look in the mirror at the man I am today, the more I know nothing of my history touches me.

“There isn’t anything to talk about, Ryker.”

Placing my hands in my pockets, giving off a relaxed vibe, I say, “I just want to know how you’re really doing. None of that ‘good’ bullshit because, when you looked left while saying it, I could tell you were lying.”

When she gasps, I smile inside. She thinks I don’t know her, but I do. Maybe even better than herself.

“I wasn’t lying.” As her eyes dart left, she catches herself. This time, the chuckle escapes me.

“Right. Let’s just sit in your car and talk. No pressure.”

Her eyes narrow and her face reddens. “You think you know me, but I’ve got news for you—you don’t know shit.”

“Calm down, woman.” I place my hands on her shoulders, getting closer to her, and her body stills at my touch like it’s affecting her in some way.

Something in my gut tells me that I need to go slow with Austyn. Not only is it what happened with JK, but there is something else she’s skittish about. I make a decision, following what Green told me.

“We’re friends. Been friends for a long fuckin’ time. This is just two friends catching up.”

She huffs out a breath, and just as I’m about to take it as my cue, she says, “Fine. Ten minutes.” Her body gives her away, but her eyes show her fight against this, against me.

Challenge accepted.

My smile is wide. I should kiss her again, but I don’t.

Slow. Fuck, I’ve never done slow once in my whole damn life, yet here I am, trying it with Austyn. The one who actually matters. The one I give a shit about.

Sliding into the passenger seat, I see her grip the steering wheel so tight her knuckles are stretched white. It’s hot, just like all the other things she does that makes her that way.

“Rumor is you got your own place.” Starting off light is the only choice. Jumping in with I-want-you-under-me-now is crossing the friend line, something she’s not ready for.

Her chest decompresses as she continues to look out the window, making it a point not to give me her attention. That’s alright; we can play this.

“Yeah. Emery and I got an apartment.”

She makes it seem so hard to talk to me, which I don’t quite understand, considering she used to talk my ear off all the time. I don’t like this change in her.

“And workin’ again at that hair place?”

This time, her eyes come to me, fire breathing out of them. If she were a dragon, I’d be scorched. “Don’t you need to get back to your date?” The last word is clipped and tight. She’s jealous. At least that’s a start in the right direction.

“No date, Austyn.”

Her head jerks and a curl comes to her lips. “I can’t believe you came here with her then kissed me. Do you know how gross that is?”

I must admit, I’m loving her jealousness. Tells me she cares. That she gives a fuck. What I don’t want it to do is hurt her.

“She’s my cousin, and that’s some sick shit, Austyn.”

“Oh, so you do have standards,” she snaps, then turns back to the window.

I should feel a twinge of guilt for that, but I don’t. It’s my life and I live it the way I want. I want pussy, I get pussy. I want to ride, I ride. That’s how it is when you come from a household that has so much control over you that you can’t piss without someone knowing exactly where you are and the approximate time you’ll be back.

Control is all I have.

I laugh it off, hanging my arm out the window. “Yep. Even little ol’ me has standards. They aren’t the best, but I still got ’em.”

“You’re an asshole,” she grunts out, crossing her arms over her chest and pushing up her pert tits.

Damn, they’re beautiful. Images of my cock running between them come to mind, making my cock harden, pressing against the zipper of my jeans. Fuck.

“I know. Been called worse.” I huff out a breath and leave the joking aside for a moment, getting serious. “You’ve known me for years, and I get your assessment of me. I’ve never done anything to prove you wrong. Women come and women go, but not fuckin’ one has stayed.”

“Couldn’t get your hooks in her, huh?” A small smirk plays on her lips like she thinks she one-upped me. Too bad.

“More like I didn’t want my hooks in any of them. They weren’t fuckin’ worth it.”

Her eyes meet mine, her mouth going a bit slack. It only lasts a moment before she looks at the clock. “Oh, look, it’s been ten minutes. You need to go.”

Ignoring her, I ask, “How are you really? Are you sleeping?”

Austyn closes her eyes, giving me the answer. She doesn’t sleep much. She’s thinking about what happened. Fuck.

Her head falls to the headrest. “Some.”

“So, not really.”

“Depends on the night.”

I hate that she has this. Hate that I’m not there to help her through those nights, something else she’s not ready for yet. It’s on me to figure out how to change that.

“Eating?”

“What is this, four thousand questions?” she clips, irritation dripping from each word.

“I’ve only asked you three, Austyn.”

The tension in the car is thick. Not only with the lust that I have for this woman, but from her anger, frustration, and fear. It’s all there, plain as day, like all her cards are laid out on the table.

She huffs out, “Right. Some.”

Which means she isn’t eating as much as she should. Fucking woman.

“You have to take care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I do. Now please go, friend.” Friend is said as a challenge. One that is fully accepted and will be succeeded.

“You got it.” I rest my hand on the door latch. “You need anything, Austyn, you call me. No hesitations, no questions asked, I’ll be there.” Without another word, I exit the car.

She sits there for a few moments before firing up the car and darting out of the lot.

Feet apart, I rub my hand over my face. Fuck, this woman is going to put me through the wringer. The thing is, I know coming out on the other side will be worth it. Every fucking moment will be worth it. Therefore, I’ll do this friend shit and get her past all the demons, or do my damnedest to try.

Pulling out my smokes, I tap one out and light it with my Zippo, inhaling the tar that will coat my lungs as I make my way back to the group of partiers.

I feel the burn in my lungs. My heart pulses inside my chest, craving more of her.

All in due time, Austyn.