CHAPTER 8
Lex
Shane walked me all the way into the studio and led me to my favorite spot in the center of the room.
I was used to open auditions—rooms packed to maximum capacity with barely any space to move. But after one scan of the room, noting all the serious faces, and bodies spaced out from each other, I knew this audition would be different. More intimate.
Every audition seemed to be set up in a similar fashion, and this one was no exception, with one or two folding tables placed near the mirrors at the front of the room and a microphone on a stand. Each judge was given a stack of papers and a manila folder that held our head shots and resumes.
The judges’ tables were empty, yet I could still feel my heart pounding with the anticipation of finding out who I’d be dancing for today.
Shane turned to me, grabbed my face in his palms, and stared me dead in the eyes. “You’re going to rock the shit out of this audition.” Excitement was practically oozing out of him. “You’re shaking,” he noted with a gentle smile. “Stop. You’ve got this.”
“How do you do it? How are you so calm and levelheaded about everything?”
“How are you so blind to your own talent? Damn it, Lex. You’re the best dancer in this room, and it’s time you started to realize it too. I won’t be around to keep reminding you, so lock this conversation up in that brilliant brain of yours. You’re going to tear this dance floor up. Take no prisoners. Leave their mouths agape—”
“Okay, I get it.” I laughed and felt my heart swell at the same time. Leave it to Shane to put me in my place. It was why I’d kept him around all these years.
His expression remained serious, sobering me quickly. “Your only job is to give your all today, blood and glory, baby. Everything will play out as it should.”
I breathed deeply, inhaling through my nose then releasing it through my mouth.
After my heart settled, my eyes locked on his—an endless sea of whiskey. And somewhere inside them lay my buoy, bobbing calmly in rough waters, where I could always cling if needed. I felt it. His words filling me. My confidence building.
And then something shifted in the room—an energy, a shuffle of sounds. I couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but whatever it was raised every hair on my body. Because somehow, I knew without having to look.
Shane’s palms fell from my cheeks as my head turned and I spotted him, the dream crusher himself. Theo was walking the perimeter of the room toward the judges’ tables. Meanwhile, all the confidence Shane had just worked up in me vanished in an instant.
I hadn’t even danced yet, and I’d already completely failed the audition. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to—
“What is it?” Shane asked, my discomfort on full display.
“I can’t do this.”
Shane looked genuinely rattled by my comment. “What the hell? You’ve got to be kidding me.” Then he turned to follow the one my eyes were tracking. “No fucking way.”
Theo had picked up the manila envelope and was pulling out the resumes. He hadn’t even looked up. He started sorting through the pile, one by one, and reading quickly through them before flipping some over to see the head shots.
Then something else clicked in my brain and my heart squeezed.
“Shane.” My voice shook. “Theo was listening to a bunch of Winter’s new songs in the theater.”
His face fell as if I’d just crushed all his dreams. Shane had been obsessed with Winter for years. Auditioning for her in any capacity was his dream too, more than anything Dominic could provide him.
“Are you sure?” Shane’s eyes were glued to my lips, as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of them. He looked around the room and spotted something else. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He released me. “Janelle,” he called.
Janelle had just walked into the room. Her eyes snapped to him, confused, and she made her way over. Her expression softened. “You can’t be in here, babe.”
I saw the devastation on Shane’s face. “Nellie,” he said, almost pleadingly. The nickname was new to my ears, but I knew they’d been close since the Dominic gig. “Why didn’t I get an invite for this?”
Her face twisted into a genuine apology. “Oh, hon. I would have given you one, but you’re on contract. You can’t audition again until the video is over. And if you agree to the club tour, then you’ll have to wait until that’s over too. I’m so sorry, but that’s the breaks of the business, I guess.”
Shane groaned dramatically. “Shit.”
Janelle reached for him, and I watched their hug with a small smile on my face. She patted his back after a few seconds. “Now you need to wish Lex good luck and get the hell out.” She winked at me and backed away, pointing a finger at a still-pouty Shane. “We’ll talk later. Get out of here.”
He turned, a smile blooming on his face again, and wrapped me in a big hug that lifted me from the floor. “I’m going to ignore what you said when you saw Theo. If you leave this audition, I might actually murder you in your sleep tonight.” He released me and backed away. “Remember what I said.”
And he was gone. My heart grew heavy, and I faced front. As I did, my eyes locked on Theo’s. He’d spotted me. And from the way he was squinting, his hazel eyes aflame, he didn’t look pleased to see me. At all.
Janelle did the intro speech, basically rattling off the things she’d told me yesterday, noting that the artist would be in later but adding the bit about Theo being the choreographer. Yeah, that piece of information would have been useful yesterday. Why didn’t I think to ask? Not that she would have told me.
It was too late now. I was in my lucky spot, and I had Janelle on my side. I’d been studying Theo’s dance style for six years. The odds were in my favor, and if I hung onto that thought, I might have even started believing it—if it weren’t for Theodore “Angry” Noska glowering at me from the front of the room.
So I did the only thing I could think of. I tore my eyes away from him, focused on Janelle, and pushed away every ounce of insecurity. I needed to stop focusing on all the reasons I wouldn’t succeed and start thinking about how well I was set up for success. Shane was right. There wasn’t a single reason I shouldn’t nail this audition.
When the room cheered after Theo’s introduction and he jogged to the front of the room, I clapped too. I played the part. No one would have known that in one exchange Theo had tried to crush every single fantasy I’d ever had of him.
In that theater, he’d effectively kicked me when I was already down—a classless move. Still, I knew I’d become stronger for it, and he wasn’t worth the nerves I’d once had in his presence. He was a brilliant choreographer, but that didn’t mean I had to like him.
Just like that, my insecurities dissolved and I focused on Theo’s intricate steps, completely losing myself in the zone.
If I’d thought Janelle’s audition choreography was fast, I was sorely mistaken. Theo didn’t spend much time repeating eight counts. And he didn’t hold back with choreography either. Thanks to my superb Theo-video-stalking skills, I was well aware that he taught in sounds rather than music counts.
“Let’s see it,” he called as he turned around. He nodded to Janelle, who was controlling the stereo system from an app on her phone.
The music played, and I waited for him to see me. To judge me. But after the first two intro counts passed, his eyes had moved on to everyone except me. I shoved away my frustration, knowing we still had four eight counts to go. He would watch everyone at some point, I just had to be ready.
I nailed it. I hit every single odd count and offbeat of the four eight counts he’d taught us in less than an hour. His gaze never stopped on me. By the end of the routine, I wanted to scream.
Theo took a seat and turned to Janelle. She nodded in response to whatever he said and leaned into the mic. “Five-minute break, guys.”
My water was sitting against the wall in the back of the room. When I reached it, a girl with long and sleek dark brown hair leaned down and grabbed her water too. We guzzled from our bottles in sync, and when we put them down, we faced each other and laughed at the awkwardness.
She stuck out her hand. “Hey, I’m Amie. I’ve seen you in some of my classes.”
My mouth turned up at the sides. Someone actually recognized me, which was an improvement from just a few weeks ago. “I’m Lex,” I said as I took her hand. “My friend Shane and I moved to town four months ago. We’ve been taking classes full-time.” I laughed with a shake of my head and added, “Well, he got the Dominic gig, so he’s been busy with that lately.” And why was I still talking?
Her eyes shone. “That’s incredible. And now you’re here. I don’t think I got my first invite until two years ago.” She waved away her own comment with a swipe of her hand. “But I started when I was in elementary, so there wasn’t much I could audition for, anyway.”
“So you’re a Lifer, then.” I’d heard others use the term in reference to the dancers who had been there for years, ones everyone seemed to know.
She nodded, her eyes wide. “Oh yes. Stick around. You’ll get there. I love Gravity. We really are a big family.”
“That’s the plan, hopefully—to stick around.”
“Good.” She leaned in and squeezed my arm. “Good luck today, by the way. I’ve watched you. You’re really good.”
“Thank you.” Her words made me feel a little lighter in my chest. “Good luck to you.”
We made our way to our spots on the floor. When I looked up, it was hard not to notice the conversation going on at the front of the room. Janelle and Theo were having an argument. Their expressions were heated as they took turns speaking, the exchange complete with tight jaws and finger pointing. I started to feel shifty in my skin, as if I were invading their privacy by watching them, when Janelle’s eyes shot to me.
My heart sank. If her look alone didn’t tell me that whatever they were arguing about had something to do with me, then the look that Theo threw my way absolutely did.