Chapter 5

Ethan

Liam turned and smiled as we stood at the edge of the water in San Diego. The ride down had been good for me, and my brother knew me well enough to keep his trap shut. I'd rolled the windows down and let the sun chase away the black shadow crawling across my life.

"See? You feel better, don't you?" He reached out and squeezed my shoulder.

"Yeah. I do." I glanced out at the ocean as white tipped waves crashed into the shoreline. I wanted Riley with me. Standing in front of me. My arms around her shoulder, her soft ass pressed against me as her hair blew in my face. What I wouldn’t give for a do-over.

"And you know what would make you feel even better?" He smiled and lifted his hands, waving at someone. "Pussy."

"Oh shit." I glanced down the way to see two girls in bikinis so small that they shouldn't have spent the money to buy them. Scraps of cloth that most likely cost them a couple hundred dollars each. "Dude. No. I'm not in the-"

"Come on over." He moved around me. "Shut the fuck up and follow my lead."

"Suck my nuts." I turned back out to the water and took a step in, leaning down to pick up a shell I thought Riley might like. I prayed in the back of my mind that she would show up for filming so that I could at least try and salvage a friendship with her.

If I could get her past the hurt of what happened with Deza, and remind her that I was not at fault for that shit, then maybe she would let me back in. We'd been so good together. Outside of the delicious lust, she was my equal, my exact match in life.

A laugh bubbled up in the center of my chest as another memory slapped into me.

I leaned down and brushed my lips by hers. "Why haven't we slept together?"

"Because I'm hoping to remain a good girl."

I laughed. "Baby, that train has long since left the station. You're just playing a part now. The real you is the one who wants a long night of passion. Where is that girl?"

"How about a night of chick flicks and popcorn instead?" She teased me, though I loved the idea of doing both. It was almost comical that she knew exactly how to get me going.

"And then sex?" I leaned down and kissed the side of her face, loving her more than I should have so early in the game. "You like it in the ass, right?"

"Ethan!" She popped my chest, and I laughed loudly. She was almost too easy to goad.

"What? I figured the bad girl in there would enjoy the question."

"Now I know where you get it from. Your brother has no filter either."

"Explain." Aggression raced through me. What the fuck had Liam said to her? I knew better than to leave her fine self over at my brother's place. He was an unrelenting whore on a good day. No matter who was around.

She gave me a quirky smile like she knew something I didn't. "Nope. I'm not telling you about Liam or whether I like it in the ass."

I pulled her close and tucked my face against her hair. "Those two subjects better not have a damn thing to do with each other."

"As if."

"Ethan. This is Mary and Charlotte. Say hi." He wrapped his arms around the girls’ shoulders as if showing them off.

"Hi." I stood and looked him in the face. "I said no. I meant it." Turning, I walked back up toward the hotel, ignoring him hollering for me to stop being a dick.

He had no clue what love looked like, but I couldn't help hoping that some woman would whoop his stupid ass into shape eventually.

"Flowers, Sir?" A pretty dark-skinned girl stood by the back entrance to the hotel, her flower stand filled with various colors and smelling like heaven.

Was Riley coming? I wasn't sure, but I wanted to be prepared just in case. Did she like flowers?

"Yeah. Sure." I pulled out my wallet and glanced around before turning my attention back to the girl. "So, I need something that says I'm sorry for being an idiot male."

She laughed. "How about white roses with one red one? It's almost like asking for friendship, but the red one gives off the vibe of offering your heart in the process."

"Oh, I like that." I handed her a hundred and waved her off as I took the flowers. "Keep the change."

"No way. This is way-"

"Please?" I lifted them to my face and breathed in deeply. "You've been really helpful. Let me do something nice to feel better about myself, hm?"

Her smile was warm, welcoming. "Okay. Thank you, and good luck with your love."

"Thanks." I winked at her and walked into the hotel, mumbling the rest under my breath. "I'm going to need a whole lot more than luck."

Like a tranquilizer and a love potion. I chuckled, feeling a little bit more alive than I had lately. Seeing Riley was all I could think about, even though the chance of her coming were slim. I could still hope. Hell, hope was all I could do.

"Deza." I walked toward her and Frank as they stood in the lobby, Frank talking with one of the bellhops. "Any luck?"

"Yes." She let out a sigh and reached up to pat my chest. "I got her here. The rest is up to you, but don't fuck anything up related to the film. Please. Our asses are all on the line with Eon already. Just go slow and back off if she wants you to. Got it?"

"Of course." I extended my hand to Frank as he turned to greet me. "Hey."

"Hey, buddy." He pulled me into a fatherly hug. "You doing okay? You had us all pretty worried this time."

"I'm alright. For now, at least." I glanced around. "Where is she?"

"In her room. Are those flowers for her?" Frank asked, his lips lifting in a smile.

"Yeah. I'm sure it's too much, but I'm going for broke on this one." I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair. "Do I look alright?"

"You look like you. Good job." Frank walked around me, snorting at his own joke.

"Thanks, man." I rolled my eyes and turned back to Deza.

She reached up and brushed her fingers through my hair. "You look windblown."

"Does she hate me?" My stomach tightened at the thought, and I felt all of ten years old again. Needy and wishing someone cared enough about me to show up for one of my rehearsals or God forbid, a movie premier. My folks were too busy, and Liam was too young to get himself there.

"I don't think so, but you got a long road ahead of you, Ethan. She's got a lot of pent-up hurts in her life, and I think she's adding you to that list." Deza backed up and slipped her hands into the pockets of her dress. "And I know I've said it a million times, but I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I glanced around, checking for Riley again. "Just help me fix the parts that you can. I'll try my best to do the rest, and if it doesn't work, then that's on me." I shrugged as if it didn't mean anything to lose out on possibly the best thing that had ever happened to me in my life.

"Don't do that." She reached out and gripped my wrist, pulling my attention back toward her.

"Do what?" I asked, confused.

"Act like you don't care, like her walking away doesn't matter. You gotta let that guard down and let her see your heart. Otherwise, you are going to lose her. It's where we all go wrong." She released me. "We're all trying so damn hard to protect ourselves, and in the process, we push everyone away with our callous responses. Don't do that. Open up this time and be prepared for whatever comes your way."

"Alright." I offered her a smile. "Wish me luck."

"Assume this isn't going to go well." She tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips.

"Thank you, kindly for sucking the wind from my sails, the come from my nuts, the- wait. That doesn't work. Sucking the come from my-"

"Hey! Shut it and go get the girl. For fuck's sake."

"I love it when you say fuck. You should do it more often." I wagged my eyebrows and turned, walking toward the elevator. "Ten-twenty-four?"

"Yes. Stop yelling it out, and good luck."

"You said that already." I pressed the button and ignored the stares from three middle-aged women beside me. A chant raged in my head, which seemed childish, and yet, if I could just remember it, things might work out.

Just be yourself. Just be yourself. Just be...

The door opened, and I got into the elevator, pressing the button for the tenth floor.

"Are you-" One of the woman glanced over at me.

"Yeah." I nodded. "How are you today?"

"We're great. Tell us what the name of your new co-star is again? She's just stunning."

"Like Marilyn Monroe," the third one piped in. "So beautiful."

"Riley Phillips, and yes, she is a knock-out. Even more so in person." I smiled as the door opened to my floor. "Well, this is me. You ladies have a great day."

"Thanks! Tell Riley we love her."

I smiled and walked down the hall as warmth filled my chest. Riley would be a star with or without me, and I realized that whether we made it to the top in the eyes of America wasn't a concern to me anymore. It was whether we made it together.

I reached up to knock on the door as terror raced through me. Closing my eyes, I let my chin touch my chest and breathed out slowly. "You got this. You're the award-winning Ethan Lewis. The crowd goes wild for you. They think you're-" I paused and glanced up, not giving two shits about any of that. "This is the woman you love. Fix it."

Lifting my hand, I knocked without hesitation and moved back. I needed to prepare for the worst.

Riley opened the door and stiffened. Her short strawberry blond hair was in cute little curls, her yellow dress and white sandals enough to make me cream my pants. Innocence sat on her like a well-worn coat, and yet I knew what lay beneath it. Hunger that couldn't be matched.

"Riley." I extended the flowers toward her. "I just-"

"I'm not interested." She pushed the flowers back toward me, not angrily, but nevertheless. It hurt.

"I understand. Thank you for coming to finish the film."

"Yep." She moved back and started to close the door.

"So the white ones are for friendship and the red-"

"I don't care, Ethan. Give them to someone else." She pushed the door a little farther, and I reached out, pressing my hand to it.

"Please don't do this. I promise I won't bother you after this, but please talk to me."

"No." She put her shoulder against the door and pushed, forcing me back a little, though I kept my hold on the door. "If I didn't have a contract, I wouldn't be here. Period."

"Riley." I pushed back as softly as I could and thought about sticking my foot in the doorway, but knew Frank would flip his shit if I broke the damn thing. "I wasn't dicking around in that rain scene. I really do-"

"Stop!" She jerked the door open, her eyes filled with anger. "I'm not doing this with you. My heart can't handle another blow. I want to wrap up the movie and get the fuck outta here."

"Alright. I'm sorry." I lifted my hands as tears filled her eyes. "Forget I stopped by."

"Done!" She slammed the door and my heart sunk.

I knelt and left the flowers in front of her door, plucking out the red one and twirling it between my fingers as I walked back down the hall.

Deza had gotten my beautiful co-star to come back to the set, and I'd almost caused her to leave again. If things were going to work out between us, I had to back off and take it painfully show.

It was something I wasn't good at in the slightest.

Having patience.