Sophie

“You came!”

Dad’s face lit up when Nina and I stepped through the backdoor. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the morning paper. I smiled when I saw his glasses perched on the end of his nose. It was like I’d stepped through the door to my childhood. I half-expected my mother to come waltzing in from the living room with her hair tied back in a messy ponytail.

“I hope it’s okay,” I said. “You sounded like you could use the company.”

“I did?” Dad frowned.

“When we talked last night,” I said.

“Oh!” Dad nodded. “Well, I’m always happy to have my girls over.”

He took his glasses off and laid them on the table. When he looked back at me, he immediately held his hands out for Nina. I smiled and handed her over, happy to watch my dad’s face light up even more.

“There’s my angel,” Dad cooed and kissed Nina’s head. She played with the buttons on his shirt while he stared down at her, a look of pure joy on his face.

“Have you eaten breakfast?” I asked, already moving toward the fridge.

“Yes,” Dad said. “Don’t worry about me. Just come sit down and relax.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that today,” I said, shaking my head and moving to the table.

“Oh?” Dad asked.

I sat down with a heavy sigh. Ever since my conversation with Andrew, I’d felt more stressed than ever.

“Andrew wants us to go ahead and plan the wedding,” I said.

“That’s great!” Dad said with excitement. “You’ve been engaged long enough, Sophie. And now that Nina is bigger, what’s the problem?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “I want to marry Andrew. Of course, I do.”

“Then…” Dad trailed off, waiting for me to explain my hesitation.

“I’m already stretched so thin,” I said weakly. “Between taking care of Nina and trying to keep up with my responsibilities at work, I just feel like I can’t possibly add anything else to my plate right now.”

“But this is a celebration,” Dad said. “It won’t be stressful, honey. It’ll be exciting and fun. You’ll enjoy every second of the planning process.”

“You really think so?” I asked.

“Your mother certainly did.” Dad laughed. “She spent weeks poring over flower arrangements and researching venues.”

“Mom never seemed that girly,” I said with a frown.

“She wasn’t,” Dad said. “But she enjoyed a good party, and that’s all a wedding really is. Just a big party.”

“I guess,” I said.

“Don’t think too much about it,” Dad said. “Just start planning and everything will fall into place. Besides, if you have to take a step back from work, I’m sure Andrew would understand.”

I nodded and let the subject drop. Dwelling on the impending wedding plans would only serve to make me more nervous.

“Let’s go to the living room,” Dad said, already standing up. “Nina can play a little bit.”

“Sure.”

Dad led the way into the living room, bouncing Nina on his hip as he walked. I smiled and sank down on the couch, watching my father play with my daughter.

“You look great, Dad,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful,” Dad said without looking up. “This little girl always brightens my spirits.”

It was true. Ever since Nina was born, my father had become a different person. There were moments when I could tell he missed my mom. His eyes would darken for a split second, but those moments had become so few that I hardly noticed them.

He’d learned how to live again. He could talk about Mom without tears pooling in his eyes, and his emotions seemed to be steadier now. I knew his grief was far from gone. He would never fully get over my mother’s death. Her memory would haunt him forever, but he was no longer overwhelmed by it.

“Mom would love this,” I said with a laugh. “Watching you play with a little baby again.”

“Your mother would have doted over Nina,” Dad said, laughing with me. “I don’t think she would have let her out of her sight.”

“There’s room at the mansion,” I said with a shrug. “We could have moved the whole family in.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Dad said, fixing me with a meaningful stare.

“I’ve told you before,” I said. “You’re more than welcome anytime, Dad.”

“I know,” Dad said. “But you and Andrew need your space. It wouldn’t be right for me to intrude like that.”

“It’s not intruding if you’re invited.”

“I like it here.” Dad shrugged. “I’ve owned this house for almost thirty years. I’m not ready to give it up just yet.”

Dad looked wistfully around the living room, and I knew he was thinking about Mom. As much as he would have loved to be closer to Nina, he couldn’t bear the thought of giving up the home he shared with Mom.

“You really do seem better,” I said softly. “Happier. More like your old self again.”

Dad smiled warmly at me. He looked down at Nina, rubbing his hand gently over the back of her head. She was sitting on the play mat with a toy giraffe shoved in her mouth. When she looked up at her grandpa, she giggled and kicked out her feet. Dad laughed and then sighed, turning back to face me.

“She helps,” he said, gesturing to Nina. “And you. If it weren’t for my girls, I don’t know what I’d do with my life.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about that,” I said. “I have an idea I want to run by you.”

“Okay.” Dad said slowly. “Run it.”

“Well.” I cleared my throat, suddenly nervous. “Andrew and I have been talking. He really needs someone to help out with exhibitions and recovery. With Nina here now, Andrew wants to be home as much as he can. But with all the digs and things, It’s just been kind of hard.”

“Of course,” Dad said. “I remember how horrible it was for me to leave you when you were that age.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Well, Andrew and I were thinking that maybe, if you were up for it, you might want to take over for him.”

“What?” Dad blinked.

“Go on digs,” I said quickly. “Lead exhibitions for the company. That sort of thing.”

“Oh.” A slight frown creased his forehead.

“Dad,” I said. “I just want you to get back to your old life, back to the things you used to love. I know it was hard, but you and Mom used to love going on adventures together. You were always traveling, always coming back with some new and amazing story. Don’t you miss that?”

Dad thought about it for a second. He stroked Nina’s back absentmindedly as he stared off into space. I wanted to pull his focus back to me, but I stopped myself.

“I don’t know,” Dad finally said. He sighed deeply, and when he looked at me, I knew his answer. “It just wouldn’t be the same without your mom.”

“I know,” I said. “but—”

He was already shaking his head before I had the chance to say anything else. I sighed and nodded, letting my argument disappear on my lips. Whatever choice my dad made, I had to respect it. As much as I wanted him to get on with his life, I couldn’t force anything on him.

“It’s not that it wouldn’t be fun,” Dad said. “And I would love to help Andrew in any way I can. But the idea of being so far away from you and from Nina bothers me. I don’t want to miss anything, Sophie. Not now. Not this late in my life.”

“Don’t talk like that,” I said firmly. “You’re still young, Dad. You have years left.”

“I hope so.” Dad laughed. “But however long I do have, I want to be here with you. With Nina.”

“Okay.” I nodded and sighed. “It’s your choice. We just wanted to offer.”

“I appreciate it.” Dad smiled warmly. “I can recommend a few people if you want. I know a lot of guys in the business, young guys who won’t mind the chance to travel. Andrew could take his pick.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate that,” I said, smiling back.

“It’s a good idea,” Dad said. “Andrew should be home more often. As often as he can.”

Dad looked down at Nina and lost himself in thought. I leaned back against the couch cushions, letting myself relax for the first time in a while.

While my dad played with Nina, I closed my eyes and tried not to drift off to sleep. Despite Andrew’s insistence that I was full of energy, I constantly felt on the verge of exhaustion. Every time I sat still for too long, my body tried to force sleep on me. After a few minutes, I had to snap my eyes open and shake myself.

Dad laughed and shook his head when he saw me blink against the bright light.

“Take a nap,” he said simply.

“No.” I shook my head again. “I’m awake. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Dad said. “I remember how it felt to have a baby in the house. You should sleep as much as you can.”

“I try,” I said. “There’s just so much to do right now. And with the wedding—”

“You’re stressing again,” Dad said. “Don’t think about it yet. Just sit back and rest. You can worry about work and the wedding later.”

“You’re right,” I said. “I know, you’re right.”

And yet, that didn’t stop me from worrying all day long. My dad played with Nina and then fed us both lunch. He kept a hold of Nina every single second, feeding her and changing her, rocking her and tickling her. It was amazing to watch how close they’d already become.

I enjoyed the break my dad gave me. It was nice to just sit and watch my daughter without having to worry about every little thing. It gave me the freedom to let my mind wander. I thought about all the work I had to do for Hopper Antiquities. I remembered that Andrew’s birthday was coming up soon. And, now, I had an entire wedding to plan.

My life was perfect. It was everything I’d always wanted and more than I could have imagined. I hated myself for feeling so overwhelmed, but I couldn’t help it.

“Maybe something small,” I said later in the afternoon, my mind focused on the wedding. “Just family and a few friends.”

“Is that what you want?” Dad asked skeptically. “I mean, is that the wedding you’ve always pictured for yourself?”

“No,” I said honestly. “I always thought I would have a huge wedding. Big white dress. Lots of flowers. Gigantic cake.”

“Then, that’s what you should do,” Dad said firmly. “Don’t let your busy schedule stand in the way of what you really want, Sophie.”

“Things change,” I said with a shrug. “I also thought Mom would be around to help pick out my dress.”

“Me too,” Dad said sadly. “I’m sorry she’s gone. You deserve to have your mom around for something so important.”

“I have you,” I said simply.

Dad smiled, but there was still a deep sadness in his eyes. In that moment, we both missed Mom worse than ever. The idea of getting married without her felt impossible.

“I have something that might help you,” Dad said suddenly.

He jumped up and hurried into his study. When he returned, he was carrying a thick white book with a photograph of him and my mom on the front cover.

“What’s this?” I asked as he laid it in my hands.

“It’s our wedding album,” Dad said. “Maybe it’ll give you some ideas.”